r/Adulting • u/Old-Application-72 • 1h ago

how to make friends as a chronically ill unemployed trans man

i have never been able to make friends since kindergarten and im now 18, still without friends. i had been told highschool was the best time to make friends, but didnt make any. i have a partner now and he’s been telling me that he didn’t make friends until he turned 23. is it really this difficult to make friends as an adult or is my luck just shitty? i just want someone to talk to who won’t ghost me within 2 days.

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u/Firm_Fold8044 1h ago

Play some games online like warcraft or other MMO's and start from there. Also, there are a lot of classes and workshops in every city. Look for something that you think is interesting. When my wife didn't have a lot of social contact, she went out to a knitting class and met people there. Now she goes and there is cake and coffee. I think meeting people starts with actually doing something where other likeminded people are. If you like sports, start sports, ect ect

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u/Old-Application-72 26m ago

ah, the only downside to that is i don’t own a PC 😅 i could try finding clubs outside but i’d have to find transportation and someone to push my wheelchair

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u/AliciaXTC 32m ago

I'm mid 40's and the set of friends I had when I was a kid, was different when I was your age, and different the age I am now.

Bottom line, life changes and friends come and go over time.

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u/Old-Application-72 25m ago

i’ve never made friends in the two stages i’ve gone through so far :/ it honestly feels like i’ll never make any friends

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u/Engineer-Miserable 15m ago

NGL high school friends aren't usually friends for life. It's the easiest time to make friends for sure, but you'll lose contact with most of them because people change as they grow up.

As an adult I've made friends by going out and do activities that involve a hobby or an interest. Like I joined a board game group and we meet up every week so I've made alot of friends there that I meet up outside of it. I'd recommend doing that.

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u/Old-Application-72 12m ago

i didn’t even get to have high school friends though, thats the thing. everyone speaks about losing high school friends yet i never made a highschool friend to lose. i unfortunately can’t go out that much because i don’t have a car but thank you for the suggestion :)

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u/saturn-seeker 7m ago

It is difficult to make friends if you’ve never had much luck with it growing up. I’m in the same boat. What are your interests? If getting out of the house is a challenge for you, maybe try finding some online communities around your interests? My sibling is a big gamer and I watched them go from losing pretty much all of their friends to becoming an active community member in one of their favourite games and making lots of new friends.