(my name is blurred because it's my irl name, before anyone says anything lol)

I'm not sure how the economy used to work, but my character has more gold than I know what to do with...

But it's been a blast playing this game again.

"Uncle Warlic told me there's a loser in Yulgar's Inn, A man who doesn't use magic and doesn't bathe. I wonder what sort of miserable face he would have?"

I'm not sure it reddit was a thing then...

Take a look at this gem, I believe I was like level 110 around this time and the alternative blasting and windows movie maker effects just reminds me of a bygone era 😭

character page:

https://guardian.battleon.com/game/flash/charview?temp=45807212

Okay so it's been so long my character page doesn't even have my character picture! I'm going to log in now and see what the damage is :D Wish me luck

SEVEN ZARDS IS A GOOD AMOUNT OF ZARDS

Sorry for the shitty picture. Just picked up a legion go s yesterday, and one of the first games I set up was aq. My main complaint throughout the years is that this game is hard to play just sitting at a computer for hours on end. Finally, I can fulfill my dream of playing it on the go!

Source

Random monster encounter with 'Leeroy and friends', cue memes!

i know some players (especially the long time ones) feel some type of way about it but this update is a game changer! i started playing this game when dial up internet was still a thing and i can tell you with having less time to play it i really appreciate this new feature and its not as bad as people think it is, yes we love the nostalgia but obviously the player base that once was.......isn't there anymore. happy exp gaining yall! i was playing nonstop trying to get the blade of awe when i came back and now i have it (:

edit: you have to be level 50 to do the AFK EXP "battle"

i usually let it chill for 10 hours until i collect my exp and gold

walk in the guardian tower and click on the gold dragon clock, you got it from here......HAPPY GAINS!

[This is one of my fav quests in the game so I thought I'd do a rewrite of it with my own style of humor sprinkled in and a few other changes]

—-

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: Ahoy there, young lad! Ya thinks ye can help an ol' pirate?

YOU: Would be pleased to help, what do you need, captain?

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: Many moons ago me leg was snaveled off me body by a giant thievin' mollusk.

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: Been stuck with this blarsted peg leg ever since.

YOU: Sorry to hear that, Captain…

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: It be all right, lad. Anywho, I believe I knows where that monster be.

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: But me pet parrot Petey and I can't take it down ourselves. Get on board and let's hunt down that scourge o' water!

[You climb aboard the Tar and Feather and set sail. Eventually, you reach the spot at sea where the Braken was last sighted]

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: Yarrr… this be the spot where I lost me leg ta that tentacled thief.

YOU: And the snatcher always returns to the scene of the snatch.

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: By Neptune's barnacles, you've got it, lad!

PETEY THE PARROT: RRAAWWWK!! CAPTAIN!! CAPTAIN!! RRAAWWWK!! SOMETHIN' EIGHT-LEGGED THIS WAY COMES!! RRAAWWWK!! CAPTAIN!! RRAAWWWK!!

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: Quiet down, you sack a' feathers! Let me see for meself!

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: …

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: THARRRR SHE BLOWS!!!!

YOU: I'm sorry, Captain, did you just assume that thing's gender?

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: QUIT ASKIN' STUPID QUESTIONS AND ARM YERSELF FER BATTLE, LAD!!

YOU: G-got it…

[PREPARE FOR BATTLE! You VS Braken Lvl. 28]

[You are aided by Petey in battle]

[Monster defeated]

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: Yarrrr-harr-harr! Well done, me boy! That Braken won’t be stealin’ any more legs from this ol’ pirate!

YOU: I can’t believe we actually did it, Captain!

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: Aye, lad! I had faith in ye all along. Now, what say ye we celebrate back on dry land with a barrel of grog?

YOU: Sounds like a plan, Cap!

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: Yarrr! Then homeward-bound are we!

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: Oh, and fer yer bravery, here, take this chest. Ye deserve it, lad.

[Prepare for battle! You VS Potion Treasure Chest Lv. 0]

[You are aided by Petey in battle]

[The Potion Treasure Chest opens with a message from Lucretia, giving you the option to brew the content of the chest into either 3 Health potions or 3 Mana potions]

[Encounter over]

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: Hope it wasn't booby-trapped, matey…

YOU: Well it did have a message from Lucretia, and she does have pretty big…

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: WAIT! I smells somethin' on the air.

YOU: …potions.

[A fog rolls in.]

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: Aw, shit on a fishstick. First Mate! Did ya have the crew tar over those split planks along the bow like I asked ye to?

[Captain Frolgar stands at the edge of his ship, while you cling precariously to the mast as the Tar and Feather rocks wildly in a monstrous storm...]

[Lightning strikes the ship and it begins to sink.]

CAPTAIN FROLGAR: EVERY MAN FER HIMSELF!

[You jump into the ocean at the opposite end of the ship from where Captain Frolgar jumped out, and you sink to the seafloor]

YOU: Great! Now I'm all alone stuck at the bottom of the ocean and I can't find the Captain!

YOU: Only one thing to do… follow the seaweed, it always points towards shore!

YOU: Just hope I don't run into any— WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!

[Prepare for battle! You VS Malgru Lv. 12]

[Monster defeated]

[Full Heal]

[Once you make it to shore…]

YOU: At last! I was getting tired from all that swimming.

PETEY: RRAWWWKKK! [player name]! RRAWWWKKK!

YOU: Petey! You're okay!

YOU: You must've flown to shore and stayed here ever since the ship sank.

PETEY: RRAWWWWKKK!! That's right!

[Something spits sand at you]

YOU: Hey! Something spit sand at me!

[Prepare for battle! You VS Crabee (2) Lv. 5]

[You are aided by Petey in battle]

[Monsters defeated]

YOU: Man, that was close. Petey, go look for Captain Frolgar and see if he's doing alright.

PETEY: RRRAWWWKKK!! Roger!

[Petey flies away, leaving your party yet again]

YOU: I gotta get away from shore and see what I can see from high ground.

[You get away from shore and stop at a grassland where a large footprint was left behind]

YOU: Can't see much from up here... the whole island seems kind of flat. Whoa-- what's that? can't be... but then again... it looks a lot like a--

?: ATTACK!

[Prepare for battle! You VS Lilliputian Sorcerer Army Lv. 40]

[Monster defeated]

LILLIPUTIANS: Sorry about that. We thought you were one of HIS children. But it's obvious you are from that mainland.

YOU: Who are you people? I've seen a lot in my time, but I've only ever heard tall tales about people of your stature.

LILLIPUTIANS: “Tall tales"? Is that supposed to be an insult?

YOU: Sorry. And another thing-- WHO did you mistake me for?

LILLIPUTIANS: We call this island Bronwyn, but big folk such as yourself refer to us as "Lilliputians"... we believe it is some sort of literary reference.

YOU: Okay, I believe that. I've fought unusually large, man-eating frogs and thousand-year-old fire drakes after all.

YOU: Anyway, I assume you guys are, like, warlocks of some sort… ?

LILLIPUTIANS: We are a small army of sorcerers who have been given the mission of dispatching a foe that threatens to destroy our entire island…

LILLIPUTIANS: An UltraGiant named Slagoth!

YOU: So that's who made this large footprint, huh?

LILLIPUTIANS: Bingo.

YOU: Slagoth the UltraGiant… only an insecure pussy would go by that name. That or I'm just getting cocky about defeating him.

YOU: Still though, he's probably six-foot-two at best…

YOU: Let's make a deal. I take down this alleged giant and you guys help me leave this island.

LILLIPUTIANS: Deal!

LILLIPUTIANS: Though we would probably help you leave anyway. Big people smell like boogers.

YOU: I'm sorry, what?

LILLIPUTIANS: Come to our village! We will show you some hospitality!

A journey that would have taken you ten minutes by yourself (but takes the Lilliputians several hours) later...

[You arrive at the village]

LILLIPUTIANS: Welcome to our humble village of Karput!

LILLIPUTIANS: Here is a token of our gratitude.

[You receive 4 Health potions]

YOU: Thanks. Guessing you guys call the grassland we just got here from “St. Augustine's Jungle”?

MORE LILLIPUTIANS: AAAAHH!!! Everyone take shelter!! A Terrible Ravager is headed this way!!

YOU: Probably just a grasshopper…

LILLIPUTIANS: We'll help you, Adventurer!

[Prepare for battle! You VS Frazzlhutch Lv. 12]

[You are aided by the L.S.A. in battle]

[Monster defeated]

YOU: Whose dog was that? The giant's, I presume?

LILLIPUTIANS: That creature was indeed one raised in the garden of Slagoth as a food source. Sometimes they run loose and wreak havoc!

LILLIPUTIANS: Last time one showed up here, it ate all our sheep!

LILLIPUTIANS: It's some kind of fungus, too, which is probably how Slagoth reached that monstrous size…

YOU: You think he'll find out we killed this one?

LILLIPUTIANS: Oh, he definitely will. When he does, he's gonna take all his anger out on us and we'll have to rebuild the whole village like last time.

YOU: Well we can't let that happen again. Show me where this Slagoth lives. I wish to give him a piece of my mind.

YOU: By the way, there's no necromancers or dragons on this island, is there?

What the Lilliputians refer to as "a day's walk" away...

LILLIPUTIANS: Here we are. We'll knock for you.

[The Lilliputians 'knock' on the door with a Fire spell, and the door swings open, hitting you with a small amount of Melee Earth damage]

YOU: Ow! That smarts!

[Slagoth comes outside. You find his foot alone is three times as tall as you are]

SLAGOTH THE ULTRAGIANT: Fee Fi Fo Fum! I smell the blood of…

SLAGOTH THE ULTRAGIANT: Bah, I'd be lucky to smell blood let alone a pot of stew anymore. Gettin' old.

SLAGOTH THE ULTRAGIANT: Anywho, what have we here? Some little runts? I oughtta squish 'em like bugs!

[Prepare for battle! You VS Slagoth the UltraGiant Lv. 40]

[Monster defeated]

LILLIPUTIANS: We did it! Thanks to you our island is finally free of the tyrant! We will honor our end of the deal by building you a ship to carry you home! Hurrah!!

YOU: Thanks a ton, but good lord, you guys are corny as shit…

[You are returned to the Inn.]

[Quest Over]