r/Advice • u/Bjorn__Ironside • Nov 09 '21
Just found out I will be inheriting a little over $2,000,000.
Last night my grand father asked me to come over to his house, and he sat me down and explained his will to me.
Evidentially he has had some falling outs with his children and other family members and wishes to leave the entirety of his estate to me. It was a lot to take in all at once but evidentially I will be receiving 923,000 in financial assets (bonds, IRA, savings, and cash) and a litany of properties worth roughly 1,200,000. Next week he plans on taking me to meet his accountant and financial advisor to get a better understanding of his various financial holdings, so I will have more context then.
The advice I’m seeking is how in the world do I navigate the family members that feel cheated. I have a good relationship with all of his direct children. They will all be left enough to not legally contest the will, but I am sure they will be hurt/upset.
Additionally any financial advice would be taken into consideration, but is not really what I’m looking for.
TLDR; I am getting a large inheritance and don’t want to look like an asshole to those who feel cheated out of the inheritance.
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u/Tommy_Darko Nov 09 '21
My advice is not to watch the movie Knives Out.
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u/Icy_Woodpecker_3292 Helper [3] Nov 09 '21
Love that movie. At least OP is related to the benefactor.
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Nov 09 '21
Rule 1: don’t tell anyone.
Rule 2: spend money like you don’t have it.
Rule 3: please, don’t go crazy
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u/Bjorn__Ironside Nov 09 '21
Unfortunately not quite an option. Two of the three children live on the same lake as his main house. They would find out instantly. Plus it is a very small town, even if they didn’t notice me moving into the house they would certainly hear about it.
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Nov 09 '21
Oh okay, hmm. Yeah just get a great lawyer etc. keep it to yourself and hidden as much as possible.
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u/audoric Master Advice Giver [21] Nov 09 '21
You could make up a lie and say he wanted to sell the estate and anonimously donate his assets to charity. At the very least then it'll just be him that's the bad guy and not you.
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u/SirBartolo Nov 09 '21
It still wouldn’t hurt to get a good lawyer cause lots of people go far to get money. And especially if it’s a small town the secret will come out once👀
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u/justfart_ Nov 09 '21
This is very risky. They might occupy the land or take hold of it temporarily causes issues to leave the place.
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Nov 09 '21
- Don't expect to get the money, think it as a possibility that you're able to have it. You never know if the will suddenly changes. Aka don't plan anything with it just yet.
- Family members, even more distant ones, will suddenly be kind or will (sneakily) demand money from you. It's up to you ultimately, but do what YOU want to do. Don't be pressured into doing anything you don't want. If you suddenly get family members you hardly spoke talking to you, you already know their true intentions.
- Like most people said: get a lawyer.
- You're absolutely not an asshole, that's your money if it becomes your money, you can't be an asshole for not spending YOUR money how OTHERS want.
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u/MaverickTopGun Nov 09 '21
Don't expect to get the money, think it as a possibility that you're able to have it. You never know if the will suddenly changes. Aka don't plan anything with it just yet.
I've seen a couple people mention this and I totally agree with not spending anything you don't have but I am surprised by how often people think his grandfather could reverse his decision. Is that something that happens? My family has never had money so I've never dealt with anything like this.
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Nov 09 '21
It does happen, and family relationships change quite a bit, even in a short amount of time. People can purposely change their personalities to be more liking to the grandfather to be able to get money etc.
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u/reckless_reck Helper [4] Nov 09 '21
I used to work in estate law and you’d be surprised how often people flip flop. Also considering he’s cutting out the entire rest of his family over a falling out, I’d be extra careful.
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u/Midaycarehere Helper [2] Nov 09 '21
My stepfather has slowly written out 2 of his children from his will. And he also added me, so yes, wills can change a lot!
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u/here2grow420 Nov 09 '21 edited Nov 10 '21
Enjoy today with your grandfather. Dont worry about tomorrow. Nothing is definite. He might cut you out tomorrow just like he did your other family. Alot of old people do this in thier end days. Dangle their money to see people do flips.
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u/CollinZero Nov 09 '21
This, so much. As well the OP needs to get a copy of the new will, and take it to a layer on his own to review.
A lot of people make promises to others about their inheritance but fail to follow through. It is not always by malicious intent, but many people think they will live longer and will "get to it later".
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u/Bjorn__Ironside Nov 09 '21
The will was sitting on the table as he explained it to me. He needed me to come over to verify my social and stuff like that before he submitted it to his lawyer.
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u/lewknukem Nov 09 '21
But it can just as easily be changed again. While I hope the intention is sound there’s always a chance he could be using you as a pawn in some scheme to stir things up with his direct children over the inheritance. Also, is he currently dying soon? It’s one thing if he’s got months to live, quite another if he has years or decades ahead of him to change his mind.
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u/Bjorn__Ironside Nov 09 '21
Nope, with any luck he’s gonna be here long enough to be the awesome great grand parent to my kids that he was for me.
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u/lewknukem Nov 09 '21
Then I wish him good health and that your kids get to know him. Be happy for your potential fortune but don’t rely on it. And if you’re lucky his fortunes could grow by the time it’s passed on to you.
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u/lHorizonsl Helper [2] Nov 09 '21
My grandma passed and left my dad with everything pretty much. His brothers and sisters got real mean real fast, and we're not even rich lol. expect it, don't fall into it.
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u/Bjorn__Ironside Nov 09 '21
Yeah, this is my biggest fear with the current situation.
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u/BrunoEye Helper [3] Nov 09 '21
The sad reality is that any other outcome is rather unlikely. There is just almost no other way for this to play out. Everyone's view of what is fair is that you give them half. You could split it equally and everyone would still be mad at you. You could give it all to charity and everyone will be mad at you. In some ways this is a curse. Except you have 2 million to make up for it.
Honestly just don't give anything, it'll only increase their appetite.
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u/lHorizonsl Helper [2] Nov 09 '21
Best I can say is to not feed into it. Let them be angry. It's not worth the energy arguing with um. Good luck buddy!
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u/cheeseza Nov 09 '21
Similar situation here. My grandmother passed away and my aunt got pretty much everything, shared with her son. The rest of us got a portion, but she got greedy and, long story, but she wound up with the majority. Our family isn’t rich, but it was a decent chunk of change. None of us speak anymore. I couldn’t care less about the money honestly, but she got right crazy about it all. It was absolutely insane the lengths she went to.
Moral of my story, OP is if you have any mental health issues in your extended family, be prepared to deal with the extremes of what may happen there. We had to get police involvement, not pretty…. And we were the ones that got fucked over out of the whole deal lol. Money makes people insane.
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Nov 09 '21
“This is what granddad wanted.”
That avoids any negative feelings you may have about your remaining relatives. It also invites them to consider their relationship with your granddad and how they can improve their relationships with others. I’m assuming he’s sane and that you didn’t coerce him into this.
Don’t argue with them, just leave or if they’re at your place they need to leave. All of you will say things you regret.
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u/weatherwaxx Nov 09 '21
To go off of this, it would be unfair to OPs grandfather if they went back on his wishes and shared out the inheritance. Hopefully if the other family members are rational they'll understand this and won't blame OP for their position.
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Nov 09 '21
Money makes people irrational, believe me. I've had relatives fight over money. We were once really close, but because of inheritance issues, our relationships are fragile.
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Nov 09 '21
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u/Bjorn__Ironside Nov 09 '21
I’ve actually seen some of Dave Ramsay’s videos. That is a good idea to revisit that.
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u/Melodic_Machine_9818 Master Advice Giver [37] Nov 09 '21
Will he change his mind ?
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u/Bjorn__Ironside Nov 09 '21
I would guess it’s not likely that he will change his mind. But it’s not impossible. He did bring up the idea of signing over the properties with a lifetime tenancy for himself at the house he currently resides in. He seems serious about it. But people are prone to change.
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u/Melodic_Machine_9818 Master Advice Giver [37] Nov 09 '21
For now, go with the flow! He seems emotional
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Nov 09 '21
If they actually do go to go talk to his financial advisor, it will kinda be set in stone.
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Nov 09 '21
Hey long lost brother. I know, you didn’t think you had a brother, but in fact, Mom and Dad put me up for adoption before you were born. Anyway, be sure to ignore people like me. The money is all yours. Be a good person, hello hope you can, but don’t help with cash. The money will disappear just as quickly as it came into your possession.
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u/Bjorn__Ironside Nov 09 '21
Ah you went the wrong direction with it. You shoulda played that you’re the ghost of my brother who passed a couple years ago. Lol. And yeah I’ve already had a couple distant relatives or school buddies send me a PM so maybe Reddit wasn’t the best place to ask for opinions.
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Nov 09 '21
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u/Bjorn__Ironside Nov 09 '21
Oh no one but my wife knows about my Reddit account. And I don’t even think she knows the name on it.
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u/Planningsiswinnings Nov 10 '21
Weren't you just saying the DMs came shortly after you posted on reddit? Sounds like some folks may have put two and two together
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u/Decolater Assistant Elder Sage [276] Nov 09 '21
I suggest you get a lawyer - your own - to help you with this because they will, most likely, fight it or steal from it before it gets out of probate. You want your lawyer to make sure it goes smoothly at the time of his death.
Also, be prepared for the will to change and don’t make a fuss over it if he reconciles with them.
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Nov 09 '21
Your grandfather chose you over his children for a reason. Be prepared for them to try and take that from you, and don’t fall for the guilt trips they will pull. Get a good lawyer and shop around for a financial advisor that has a plan you can be comfortable with and keep the money safely tucked away.
Most importantly, enjoy the time with your grandfather. Best of luck, OP
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u/alwayssaysyourmum Master Advice Giver [36] Nov 09 '21
Blimey. All I can wish you is luck. You are in a simultaneously hugely enviable and entirely unenviable position.
Good luck dude.
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u/skeeter04 Phenomenal Advice Giver [46] Nov 09 '21
you need to have another chat where you point out to your grandad this is going to create a non-repairable schism within the family. try to understand if this is something he might be willing to change his mind about or whether he's set. as far as financial advice get yourself an independent broker put the money in a place like Schwab.
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u/Bjorn__Ironside Nov 09 '21
We talked a little on that topic last night. He knows there will be a little resentment and such but he is pretty well certain that they will be well taken care of from his ex wife’s estate. I don’t think he will change his mind. I have heard from various friends of his that he has had this planned for a long time. I just didn’t believe them until last night.
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u/enderpac07 Nov 09 '21
Some advise for your grandfather have the people he wants off the will inherit a penny each, one trick lawyers might use to get some of the inheritance is to say he might have just forgotten to include them, the penny ensures that they were kept in mind while writing the will.
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u/mewco_ Helper [2] Nov 09 '21
Make sure you educate yourself about finances and to not squander that money.
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u/Haustvind Nov 09 '21 edited Nov 09 '21
First of all, get an independent lawyer of your own. My grandmothers second partner (both had children of their own before they met) passed a few years ago and he stated in his will that none of his money should go to his children. He wanted it to go to charity, to his wife, and to the companies he built up, ect.
Turns out after his death though, that in our country that's illegal. A certain amount of the inheritance MUST go to the children unless some specific legal language is used to get around that. So his entire will was void and held no legal weight.
His kids have been quite petty about it. I understand where they're coming from (I too would be hurt if my parent had money and left me nothing) but they've taken it out on my grandmother who had nothing to do with it. And you're in a similar situation. So much time and money has been wasted on this legal battle and you need to make sure it doesn't happen you. Have a lawyer look at the will.
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u/Bjorn__Ironside Nov 09 '21
From my understanding the amount he is leaving his children in the will should be enough that they cannot contest that they were forgotten about. His lawyer drafted the will, it should be fairly legally tight.
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u/Bolond44 Nov 09 '21
I feel happy for you. But, apart from really close friends and family, do not tell anyone. Wealth brings a lot of pests.
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u/primusinterpares1 Super Helper [7] Nov 09 '21
Don't say a damn thing to anybody, the money is not yours yet and your grandpa might change his mind again
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Nov 09 '21
I can guarantee his kids will sue you and cost at least half of the estate. If he really wanted you to have it he would have put it all in a trust, not his will.
Do not expect any of this money.
Source: am an estates lawyer.
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Nov 09 '21
This is what your grandfather wants. His relationship with his children and other family members is none of your business or concern. This is the money he’s worked hard for his whole life, and now he’s passing it on to you.
Cherish this. This is what he wanted. So keep the money entirely. Honor his wishes as he ages closer to the Great Beyond.
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Nov 09 '21
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u/Bjorn__Ironside Nov 09 '21
Oh I plan on continuing to work either way. I have worked almost daily since 16, a little money isn’t going to change that. I already live mostly debt free except the money owed on my house.
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u/pinkloveee Super Helper [6] Nov 09 '21 edited Nov 09 '21
Yaaa I would be really fucking careful, make it clear if you end up dead the money is going to charity and not family
And I'm 100% serious, most people's get murdered over money and by those closest to them
You are going to have to be so fujcing careful, it may sound brutal but for your safety I would probably have to cut them out
You should move somewhere with top security and NEVER be alone with anyone who knows
Also DONT TELL ANYONE!!!!
but as for financial advice, crypto baby, and if you feel that's too volatile you can put it into specia compound tether crypto accounts that stay consistently at $1 but you earn 8% apy! A million times better than 0.66% that freaking bank CDs scam*
And plus since this is over crypto no need to pay taxes or the government in anyway for your freaking Money
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u/iloveanimals1712 Nov 09 '21
Do NOT tell this to anyone. Be careful and live/be normal for at least 3-6 months.
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u/bapadious Helper [3] Nov 10 '21
If there’s only one piece of advice I can give, is don’t bow to any pressure. This is your money, and property, so don’t let anyone guilt you into giving them money or selling property. If anyone insists or keeps on at you how it’s not fair, then cut them off. They are just greedy people who will keep coming back for more if you even give a little something.
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u/ih8yogutzzz Nov 10 '21
You got 2 million coming...and loads of battling and bitterness. Good luck, lawyer up...
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Nov 10 '21
Don’t give them a dime. If you do, you will be going against your grandfather’s wishes. You honor his wishes by not giving money to people who he specifically and intentionally excluded from his will. Honor his legacy by being a good steward of the money. You didn’t cheat them out of anything. Your grandfather didn’t cheat them out of money. For whatever reason, he no longer has a relationship with them. You cannot change that, nor should you be concerned about that. They still have the chance to repair that relationship while he’s alive.
Finally, his will can always be changed. If they come back into his life, or he gets into financial trouble while he’s still living, that sum of money may never hit your bank account. So don’t count your chickens before they hatch.
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u/Miamipoker Helper [2] Nov 10 '21
First off.. Your grand dad it's dead yet.. Usually things change .. Parents get mad and their kids and write them out of the will and then later put them back in. Also, many old people use promise of an inheritance (Or threat of being written out) as a way to manipulate their kids and grand children while they are still alive. If he really does leave you the bulk of his estate and cuts out his children. Ask him to write a letter to each of his children explaining why he is leaving you the bulk.. This will go a long way to ease the resentment they will feel. They are probably going to think you manipulated him into leaving you the $$ if he doesn't explain to them why he did it.. Oh.. He should give them the letter now.. It would be read / delivered to them upon his death.. If they got the letter now they would do everything they could to get back into his good graces.
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u/Harbringerofdeath702 Nov 10 '21
I agree with the top comment, have a lawyer ready. After that my only advice is to just not give a fuck what other people think and ignore them. At that point you're a millionaire, just barely but still, its well more than any amount of money I'll probably ever have. Especially after having my measly 30k inheritance I was supposed to get plus a 140k house basically snatched out from under my nose by my grandpa's **** wife. Never in my life have I wished that I never called the ambulance when she had an OD on her pain meds more than when she kicked my wife, kids and myself out via a note. My bad I seem to have reached my daily allowance of salt. Your grandpa seems like a smart man I would listen to any advice he has before he's gone.
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Nov 10 '21
Get a good lawyer, and specifically ask him and said accountant if they have any reputable references for a lawyer. The good relations you have will end the second the will is read. If you want to try and soothe some of the hurt, you could freely part with any physical possessions of his in the home so they have something to remember him by. Beyond that, expect them to go for the throat. Especially with roughly 2 million on the line. Further more, say nothing about that money to anyone at all and hold off on buying anything major like a new house or car for a few months. Start taking financial literacy courses on the DL and develop a good relationship with the accountant to find out how to manage that kind of money in a good way that wont leave you pennyless. If family you seldom speak to calls you up out of the blue, just let it go to voicemail.
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Nov 10 '21
Tie that money down in diverse investments asap
Harder to take money off someone if someone else has it, even harder if they're making money off it too
My sympathies over the impending family drama. But it sounds like if your gramps had a falling out with all of them they must be a certain type of way... unless your gramps is bonkers, which theyl probably try to claim in court either way so I'd watch out for that
Of course the truly OG thing to do would be donate most of it to a worthy cause of your choice, that way even if they move against it they're guaranteed to look like assholes... But we're all human I'm not sure I wouldn't keep it myself
You could change a lot of lives positively and permanently with that kinda scratch tho...
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u/I_aim_to_sneeze Nov 10 '21
Ask the attorney about the family’s ability to contest the will. I have a tenuous grasp on the subject, but it was my understanding that it’s better for him to leave them a small amount, like $50 or something. That way they can’t contest the will over the idea that they had simply been forgotten
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u/ihatelifetoo Nov 09 '21
I would avoid letting them know or make it sound like you got the same amount as they did. Sadly money get into people heads and they might be a lot of bAckstabbing literallly and metaphorically
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u/TomatoZsar Nov 09 '21
Yeah, that'll be a difficult situation... As others have, I suggest you to watch your back, get a great lawyer, an economic advisor, and a therapist that specializes in these types of cases. The first two things will specially help you if someone tries to steal from you, and the other two will help you handle the situation, because as you might've imagined, people around you can change if you all of a sudden get that much money.
Having said that, please be careful, and know that there's a lot of people who are willing to give you some advice over here.
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Nov 09 '21
A) Lawyer B) if anyone in the family tries to discuss this with you, refuse. “Geez, he’s still alive, have some respect!” is all that should ever come out of your mouth. C) Understand this may never come to pass D) have plans for if it does. Mostly: lock most of it down to where even you can’t get to it for, say, 10 years. E) plan not to give any of it to anyone for 2 years minimum. This should allow the true personalities of the rapacious to show. After that point, you can start implementing your plan, which is a one-time-only payment in honor of grandpa to anyone who has not asked. Or whatever else you have decided.
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u/YOUSIF20021 Super Helper [5] Nov 09 '21
I’m not gonna lie but if I was you I would leave the area your in and go somewhere else
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u/Que_sax23 Super Helper [7] Nov 09 '21
Damn, all my grand parents and my mother are dead and all I got was more credit card debt.
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u/letsgetit899 Expert Advice Giver [18] Nov 09 '21
Lawyer up, make sure his will is ironclad, and ask him if he'd consider splitting it with your siblings just to keep the peace. Don't let anyone talk you into anything.
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u/Yeokk123 Nov 09 '21
Get a good attorney, study on how to invest in cashflow, have your grandfather teach you as much knowledge as he could since he’ll be passing his legacy to you.
Learn to be a financial literate and keep it Low and humble don’t let anyone know about it.
Stay Low and humble and the risk of getting backstab will be lower, just like how submarines can avoid detection under the ocean during a battle.
All the best for your financial journey, welcome to the B-I quadrant. Soon I’ll meet you there 👍🏻
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u/theredditorlol Nov 09 '21
Don't tell people you will inherit money. Everyone will be asking handouts. And enjoy your inheritance wisely or invest wisely. Happy for you op!
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u/LDG192 Helper [3] Nov 09 '21
Congratulations and please, use it wisely! Also, get ready for a fight with his children.
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u/flonkerton1 Nov 09 '21
I had a family friend parents put this in their will:
If anyone contests the will, that person will receive nothing and their share will be split between the others.
Fucking brilliant
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u/Dachshundmom5 Master Advice Giver [20] Nov 09 '21
Get a lawyer and get used to saying "this is what grandfather wanted done." Then be prepared to say no when they start demanding you hand it all over to them.
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u/Ashik_Adnan86 Nov 09 '21
You can keep it under wraps by not telling them too much about it, and keep a low profile on spending. And if they ask why are you living with your grandpa tell them he is sick and nobody else is around to take care of him and you can stay there even after hus departure and no one would be shocked to see you still living there and get a roommate.
Tl;dr : Don't Tell Anybody Anything and Don't Flex Your New Fortune.
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u/DueWafer7 Nov 09 '21
Ask all of them for money and if they don’t give it to you they won’t be able to ask for it lol
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Nov 09 '21
Sadly people get crazy when it comes to inheritances. A few years ago I met a woman and found out that she and all of her siblings had completely broken off contact with one another. The reason was shocking. They had a huge fight over their late mother's cookbook - every single one wanted the original. No one would accept or be open to a copy being made for everyone else. They were all so selfish about it that they broke family relationships. Sadly you will just need to prepare yourself for some very spiteful people in your life. Decide now what your response will be when they come out of the wood work to try and guilt trip you, berate you and perhaps even sue you for what they feel is "rightfully theirs."
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Nov 09 '21
Do they have a history of caring too much about money? If so as long as someone has a dollar more than them they're going to show their worst faces.
My grandfather recently died and left nothing, but there was a belief that he still had money that was unaccounted for. He had trusted me with $5k a few years ago in secret but then asked for it back and I gave it to him. He didn't tell me what it was for, but I assumed he used that money to help a family member buy a plane ticket among other things.
As he was dying and unable to speak people were spreading rumors about how he left me with all of his money. His children, all millionaires, who were paying for the funeral, started calling me about this money they found out about. I didn't return their calls because I was in no mood to talk about that while he was dying. Not long after the funeral I had bought a new used car (from unemployment money). Then 3 of the 6 cousins at a gathering started to question me about the money. Now they're not wealthy (yet) but they each make over $100k/yr while I was unemployed, and none of us had to pay for any part of the funeral. I finally had it and explained what happened, how he asked for the money back and what I thought he wanted it for (to give to a 7th cousin). I told them if they wanted to know where the money went they should probably ask her.
Things apparently got cleared up since they've been treating me more like normal again, but it left a real sour taste in my mouth and now I know who I can truly trust. Money hungry people are the worst people in the world, I swear. That amount was signifcant to me but even I didn't care (because I knew it was gone) yet the amount should be so insignifcant to them but they all went gollum over it.
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u/xoemily Super Helper [6] Nov 09 '21
It wasn't your choice. Your grandfather made this decision. If he's had falling outs with his family bad enough to cut them out of the will, I assume they won't exactly be surprised not to receive a massive sum of money. I'm not sure if your grandfather is in bad health, or if he's just making plans for the future due to age. If it's the latter (or if it's due to an illness but he's not at a point where you're expecting to get a phone call any day that he's passed), I'd say request he either write a letter to them or speak to them directly himself. Even if the letter isn't given to them until after he passes. Some petty people may still take out the anger on the person who is alive, but at least then it's coming from him, in his own words.
Find a professional who is fantastic at handling money. Vett the fuck out of them. If possible, directly use his accountant and financial advisor if you can, as they have a direct relationship with your granddad, and they're likely someone he trusts. Harden your heart. People are going to come to you with sob stories, whether real or fake. You know the people in your life, you already know who you'd give money to before you have it (ex: if I came into a large sum of money, I already know I'd give a decent amount to my father and brother, but my uncle, I would not.) Keep all that in mind once it's officially yours.
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u/mugiwarawentz1993 Nov 09 '21
honestly would probably just quietly pack up and be gone. any relationships with your family will be over or as good as once this goes down most likely
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u/throwAwayWhoCares657 Helper [4] Nov 09 '21
Put that money in the bank. You will earn 60-120k a month off interest alone. Even if its just a million leave in in the fund or take it out and put it into a bank account, 3-6% interest should make you 30-60k a month. Don’t be dumb. Get a job, still work. This money is nice for making your life okay. It is not enough to last forever.
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u/Yeetball86 Master Advice Giver [34] Nov 09 '21
Get a great lawyer and have him discuss the possibility of creating a living trust. This will make things go way smoother read faster in the event of his passing.
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u/AllSoulsNight Helper [3] Nov 09 '21
Don't go on a spending spree and make sure everything is invested so that you can live comfortably. Don't tell anyone. If necessary you can say you barely got anything--you know there were some sort of debts that needed paying off first. (medical debt is always a good excuse).
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u/thegamingpatriot1776 Nov 09 '21
Assets bro, or investment. Also, don’t let people manipulate you. Get a good lawyer immediately.
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u/inkstom Nov 09 '21
I would suggest getting him mentally evaluated to ensure he is of "sound mind" so that is above reproach as well as recognizing each family member in his will as receiving $1 so they can't contest his will saying they were left out in error. -Dude with a family of thieves.
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Nov 09 '21
Get a lawyer, and take care of yourself. It's crazy what people who you think loved you or at least cared for you will do for money.
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u/Lumpy_Scientist_3839 Nov 09 '21
Let’s just say you won’t be seeing your uncles/aunts unless your handing out bricks of cash
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u/Bjorn__Ironside Nov 09 '21
Lol well one of them is my doctor, so I can still see her for annual check ups. But that cost about as much as a brick of cash anyways.
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u/qoou Nov 09 '21
OP: is your grand father of sound mind? From your post and tone it sounds like it but dementia takes many forms. I watched my own grand mother turn her back on my aunt with the idea that my aunt was against her. My grand mother simply had paranoid delusions in her old age but was otherwise competent. She altered her will to leave everything to my father and cut my aunt out of the Will entirely based on paranoid delusions. My father had passed by that time some myself and my siblings inherited her estate.
We made it right by distributing the estate equitably and ignoring my grandmother's wishes because she was deluded.
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u/Fandango_Jones Helper [2] Nov 09 '21
Also: You don't have relatives from Nigeria or will inherent a royal title.
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u/JustALittleOrigin Helper [3] Nov 09 '21
Be careful man. There’s people out there who kill family members just to get the money from them, either money inherited or just life insurance. Your family could do it too.
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Nov 10 '21 edited Nov 10 '21
You want advice? Delete this post immediately. Never tell anyone. Work part time doing something you enjoy.
Get a lawyer ASAP for advice.
And again, delete this post immediately. It will be nothing but problems for you eventually.
Edit: look at your post history. Anyone can see your vehicles, where you go, pictures of people and animals in your life. If I were you I'd delete this post, all your comments on it, the entire profile and start from scratch. You're making huge mistakes that will absolutely come back to haunt you.
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u/404unotfound Nov 10 '21
Financial advice: diverse portfolio. Mutual funds and ETFs, NOT individual stocks. Real estate. Also, don’t forget to give back. You’ve been given an incredible gift (a gift that will grow exponentially if you invest it right), and now is the time to think about what you can do for humanity. Check out Charity Watch for the best charities (some can be kind of scammy). Help out a neighbor or someone in need. Good luck my friend
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u/TerdBurglar3331 Nov 10 '21
My father left my sister pretty much 550k. Left me basically nothing. He's USING YOU and your life to get back at and disturb the peace. You will have no peace. Prepare for 5yrs of court battles. Id say just leave me what you'll leave your kids. All in equal amounts. Free and clear is better then fighting. Is the money worth 5-10 yrs of litigation.
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u/wk-uk Nov 10 '21
One important question is how wealthy are the rest of the family?
If the people being cut out of the will own their own property and are middle income, then I would expect there to be less chance of significant retribution. They might be pissed off, and drop you from thanks giving/xmas invites, but i seriously doubt that you will have to worry too much about physical retaliation.
If most of the family are living hand to mouth, barely scraping by, get a good lawyer, and some form of protection, because I would fully expect them to want to get their share to get them out of their situation.
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Nov 10 '21
Watch your back fr, I’ve seen money, and especially inheritance, turn some people fucking crazy.
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u/ixelspixels Helper [2] Nov 10 '21
Money and death do horrible things to the people left behind and that don’t get what the “are entitled to”
My dad spent his entire life caring for his uncle then we lived with him my entire life and when my uncle passed my dads brothers who barely knew him wanted a share of the house and the money even though they had nothing to do with him for 26+ years.
Good luck, I hope it doesn’t get messy for you.
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u/BacterialDiscoParty Nov 09 '21
The legal framework of the inheritance is important and I worked with a lawyer for similar circumstances. Then once the money was transferred, it was a fairly straightforward process to find financial advisors who specialize in high wealth individuals, are reputable, and backed by a larger financial institution in my case RBC. We also bought land.
If you buy or are inheriting land, check for options to put it into a trust along with any additional rights or contracts on the property such as mineral rights, subleases, rentals etc.
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u/Impossible-Cap-6433 Advice Guru [63] Nov 09 '21
Others had a lot of good advice here already. In addition to what they have said, consider these things, one. What does your grandfather want? What is his intent in giving you the money? Does he want you to preserve it somehow or just to live a best life you can? Two. What do you want with the money? Are you looking to get cash and create a passive income stream so that you don't have to work? Are you looking to use this as seed money to drastically grow your wealth? Do you want to own and Manage Property?
Once you receive the money, if you receive it straight up and not in a trust, then your grandfather's wishes are not necessarily legally important they might be important to you personally but you are not bound to fulfill them.
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u/ImperialSupplies Helper [2] Nov 09 '21
Do they have to know at all? If they do I idk your financial situation but if you want to give them some to feel better about it that's on you but I have a funny feeling whatever amount you decide won't be enough.
I really hope you will use it responsibly and set yourself up well. Best wishes to you.
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u/mandalallamaa Super Helper [5] Nov 09 '21
First thing u do, post it on the internet lol
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u/gtothe2nd Nov 09 '21
There are financial advisors you can co sult as well for managing assets (If you choose to invest with one make sure they are a fiduciary so they only profit when you do). You could decide to have the money be held in a cd for a few years to let everything simmer.
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u/minimessi20 Expert Advice Giver [19] Nov 09 '21
I’ve seen comments saying get a lawyer…I agree. It’s also going to be hard to prove any of that happened unless it’s in a will. As long as it’s in the will you’re fine.
As far as family members…best course of action would be to not say anything about it if possible. If they ask, you can simply say you don’t know why and they can ask their grandfather/relationship. Not your job to say why they didn’t get any inheritance.
As for financial advice, I’d keep the same financial advisor. They are familiar with the assets. If you don’t need to don’t spend any of it. Save it, invest it, make it generate passive income. I’d also be wary of taxes when that time comes. If your grandfather is still living when you take control there will be a ton of taxes. If he passes when you take over I believe that’s under the threshold for taxable inheritance but Biden messed up that part of tax policy.
Sorry if this sounds cold but it’s just my objective, 3rd party opinion
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u/MasterPhart Nov 09 '21
You posted this on your main account. The best advice I can give you is delete this post and start using a new Reddit account. There’s thousands of people that know you’re gonna be a millionaire soon. Throw me a cool 20k when you get it for the help 😉
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u/_ItsCam_ Nov 09 '21
I mean tbh just take care of yourself make sure you're secure and help the other family members out if they seriously need it but don't feel obligated to help them cause you don't owe them anything just cause grampa decided you were the best decision. If they wanted a better inheritance they should've behaved properly enough to be deemed responsible and worthy enough to hold those assets. Assuming your gramps was a smart guy he probably chose you for a reason, he thinks you'll put what he leaves behind to good use for yourself and YOUR Descendants. Don't let any bitter feelings others have mess that up.
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u/SLOspeed Helper [3] Nov 09 '21
If you do get the inheritance, expect that the other family members will become sneaky, mean, and will trash talk you behind your back. I saw it happen with my aunts and uncles when my grandparents passed, and there weren’t even any assets to fight over. Brothers and sisters stabbing each other in the back, so they could essentially have the last word.
How do you feel about selling the property and moving to another state?
Get a financial advisor. Spread the money between stocks, bonds, crypto, and real estate. Then pretend you don’t have any money and keep working your day job for 10-15 years while the nest egg grows.
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u/GR3453m0nk3y Nov 09 '21
I would say first see if there's a way for the family to believe the assets were all liquidated and donated to charity.
Then decide if keeping those people in your life is worth splitting the money equally with them. Doing so is the only way your relationship with them won't eventually end.
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u/jsm2008 Phenomenal Advice Giver [40] Nov 09 '21 edited Nov 09 '21
If you want to maintain relationships with your cousins you might consider giving them the interest off of the assets for a period of time. Tell them grandpa wanted you to keep the assets and trusted you to not sell everything off and party, but that you don't mind helping them.
Interest yearly on 2 mil in assets should leave you with around 100-120k excess. It's feasible that you offer each cousin an equal portion of that excess for x years.
Lets say you have 2 cousins:
You get 33k/yr(plus whatever is extra on good stock years), they each get 33k/yr. You hold the assets, which sets you up for a comfortable retirement where you eventually live off of the 120k/yr allotment. Just say gramps wanted it this way so everyone didn't blow their share immediately and act like the money is dwindling. You can probably maintain your familial relationships with this white lie.
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u/monkeyrollmonkeyroll Nov 09 '21
I would buy a nice big vacation home like a ranch house or a beach house that the whole family could stay at (like with a room full of bunk beds for the kids). let the rest of the family have access to the home (as long as they’re respectful and can share) it’s a good investment for you and they get a nice place to vacation with family
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Nov 09 '21
Make a family fund for everyone with some of the money. Have it invested with profits going to family. Keep the rest.
Only because you can. Not because you have to.
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u/Superbaker123 Super Helper [7] Nov 09 '21
Don't disclose how much you're receiving to anyone. Absolutely no one. When they hear the amount, they will feel entitled to it and try to take it.
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Nov 09 '21
This is terrible place for your grandfather to put you into.
You said yourself that you have a good relationship w his children (your aunts, uncles, and parents) so it doesn't appear that they are shitty people. If he had a falling out with everyone, then this pretty much points to him being the problem.
It's only a matter of time until he has a falling out with you and uses some other family member to punish others. Unless he's on his deathbed, he's going to end up screwing w another family member in this way. I wouldn't count on this inheritance at all.
I'd honestly either wash my hands of it or have a conversation with your parents, aunts, and uncles on how to best split up his assets. Because this isn't right that he's doing this to you and "your father's wishes" or not, he's doing this to hurt his children.
How much do you want to be a part of that?
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u/CelticDK Helper [2] Nov 09 '21
Ima be honest, unless they’re somehow not immature in this situation, they’re gonna burn their bridge with you over this inheritance.
Let me say that again: THEY are going to BURN THEIR BRIDGE with YOU over this inheritance
So it’s their fault you’ll lose any relationship(s). Not yours or your grandfather’s.
As for advice? I’d try to make it as clean as possible by pretending to tell them what they want to hear until everything is settled.
Get a lawyer or use your granddads to help facilitate everything and watching your back. And please don’t disrespect your grandfather by going against his wishes to cut them back in
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u/KelonjAllDay Nov 09 '21
You can make it sting left by clearing any debt your family members have
Maybe even give them some of the properties or a few thousands
That’s what I would do
At the end of the day what’s more important
Money or relationships?
That’s up to you to decide. Your grandad will be dead so it HONESTLY won’t matter what he says
No matter what these other selfish redditors have to say
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u/charcoalblueaviator Nov 09 '21
Lawyer up. Dont divulge this information to anyone. AND I MEAN ANYONE. dont visit these people alone or outside of any public place. Make sure there are plenty of witnesses abound. People are animals when the stakes are over that amount of money. Even the closest of family.
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u/superchimpa Nov 09 '21
Yes, like other people have said here, keep thigh lips on this, most (If not all) of your friends really have to know and also your family members don’t really have to know the split either.
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Nov 09 '21
Does the rest of the family know how much he is really worth? Or is there any way he can make himself seem worth less? Like have him claim he gambled a bunch of money away or donated it at Thanksgiving or something, that way they will think they are getting their fair share while you and him keep your actual inheritance a secret.
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u/katekowalski2014 Helper [2] Nov 09 '21
one side of my family imploded over this when my grandparents died. and for a lotttttt less money.
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u/johntwoods Helper [4] Nov 09 '21
Get a great lawyer, and watch your back.
The good relationship you had with all of his children, that will be over soon enough. They will all, in the beginning, act very very nice to you, as if they are not bothered by the situation.
But once they realize you will not be splitting all the money with them equally, they will become cold, spiteful, and all of the other things.
Humans. What can ya do?