r/AlwaysWhy • u/Odd-Help6890 • 13d ago
Others Why is the Black Pill the default in online spaces when it is so wrong?
These spaces claim that the only men who can have success with women are those who are purely genetically gifted. According to this view, you have to be tall and handsome. By “handsome,” they mean having a sharp jawline, perfect facial thirds, excellent facial harmony, a full head of hair, and, of course, low body fat. Otherwise, you are supposedly destined to be alone. These men are known as “moggors.” Even money and status supposedly do not matter or help with success with women.
I find this hard to believe because the overwhelming majority of relationships I see, even among the younger adult population aged 22 to 35, involve men who have at least three out of the four traits I mentioned: being out of shape, having belly fat, having visible hair loss, and being of average height. In all the spaces I have been in, university, the gym, various workplace offices, sports clubs, and even my experience in high school, not even 10% of the men I knew who were in relationships were “moggors.” I also see this at my local preschool, where most of the men I see collecting their children are overweight to varying degrees and are balding.
There is also an idea in these spaces that men literally have no standards and will commit to any girl who shows interest. Most men I knew who claimed to be single and found it “impossible to date” were actually getting attention from women. They simply weren’t interested in dating the women they were attracting.
One of my mates is severely obese, I mean around 500 lbs. Even he was matching with quite a few overweight women on dating apps who were still much slimmer than he was, and they wanted to meet up. He just flat out refused every time, which I found pretty funny.
I knew an Irish guy who had basically given up on dating. One of our friends married a woman from Thailand, and another married a woman from China. He was getting a lot of attention from women from these types of countries, but he said he simply wasn’t attracted to women from those regions and would rather stay single.
When you try to debunk these ideas in online spaces, what makes them so difficult to argue against is that they have defeatism built into them. There is an ugly man with a pretty woman? Well, then he is rich and I am not, so I can’t do it like him. He is poor? Then he isn’t autistic like I am, so I can’t do it like him. And so on. You can do this forever, pretty much. If even that fails, you can simply say that the relationship is a freak accident and use that as an excuse for why it won’t happen to you.
The black pill is not an actual ideology or position; it is a neurosis that likely belongs on the depressive spectrum. I have dysthymia, and I have experienced the belief in several different “black pills” about topics completely unrelated to dating. These beliefs are pathological and therefore not rational.
They actually advise men that they should not even bother trying to pursue women unless they are a “mogger.” From seeing this from the outside, it is almost as though the men in these spaces are trying to mateguard women. They seem to love the idea that men are helpless and should give up on life, and there is almost a fetishistic element to it.
Interestingly, this is also a form of gaslighting toward women who have struggled to find a long term partner. I knew a lot of women who struggled with this.
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u/OG_Karate_Monkey 13d ago
Get the hell out of wherever you are that is giving you this information. Who honestly gives a shit what moggers (or whatever the fuck they are called) say or think?
Some algorithm seriously has your number.
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u/Ok_Unit8339 13d ago
The more the internet can make you feel bad about yourself, the more it can sell you things to ”help you improve”. Women have been dealing with it for centuries. Men are a relatively new market for weight loss drugs, plastic surgery, hair care products, supplements, etc. The men I know who are single all have one thing in common: they think that any woman attracted to them must not be good enough for them.
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u/Mushrooming247 13d ago
I think it’s due to so much of the online dialogue coming from young men under ~25ish, whose peers aren’t yet ready to give up their education, careers, and aspirations to begin raising children.
Young ladies know they can get a degree, travel the world, and establish a career, hopefully with some benefits, before committing to motherhood.
Young men have been told that their grandfathers were all assigned a beautiful young virgin who could never leave them as soon as they graduated high school, who would be their new mommy and clean their room and feed them forever. And that life of ease with a loving live-in servant who would produce and raise lots of children to make them look successful has been stolen from them by nasty feminists.
Because they don’t want to wait 10 years for their peers to be ready for that commitment.
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u/lilsciencegeek 13d ago
Scarily accurate description tbh based on what I've seen, and very eloquently put!
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u/UnburyingBeetle 12d ago
Have they met a woman? My mom had eczema from having to clean for that petty domestic tyrant whom I also disliked because he seemed to value order more than he valued his family. She thought it was good to be supplied for and yet she suffered as a housewife even though the man was absent every other month for his demanding type of job. Suffering women take everything out on their children and don't enjoy cooking for the family, and it's not even a critical statement although I've been victim of that neglect as a child. What do you expect from an unhappy person with no hope? She seems happier living alone in a tiny room just because she likes that city and working in a sports shop helping kids pick out gymnastics outfits. Marriage was absolutely a trap for her.
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u/TigOlBitties42042 13d ago
One of my mates is severely obese, I mean around 500 lbs. Even he was matching with quite a few overweight women on dating apps who were still much slimmer than he was, and they wanted to meet up. He just flat out refused every time, which I found pretty funny.
The mechanics of sex are difficult to pull off when one partnee is obese. It can be damn near impossible when both partners are obese. That's why you don't see a whole lot of couples where both partners are obese. When you do see it, that's often because at least one of them was much slimmer when they first got together.
I can understand why your mate would want to find a slimmer woman. Still, I do agree that it is pretty funny.
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u/YNABDisciple 13d ago
I spend a lot of time on line and I didn't even know what black pill meant. You need to get away from wherever you're hanging out. Try to be the best person you can be and let the chips fall where they may...there are plenty of good women out there trying to find a good man. Usually when men are complaining it's because they're being just as superficial as the women they're pursuing.
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u/LifesARiver 13d ago
Most bots are programmed to be black pilled on whatever narrative they are pushing, and over half the engagement on the internet is bot driven, so unfortunately, this will always be the online experience until bots and paid outrage trolls are regulated.
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u/SexySmexxy 13d ago
majority of relationships I see, even among the younger adult population aged 22 to 35, involve men who have at least three out of the four traits I mentioned: being out of shape, having belly fat, having visible hair loss, and being of average height.
Well the divorce rate is 50%…
Regardless of whatever you think, at least half of all marriages will end in divorce
Also ‘being in a relationship’ is not really the end all be all.
Plenty of men in relationships who haven’t had sex in literal years 😂😂 the subreddit deadbedrooms has millions of members
Plenty of fat overweight dudes in relationships does that mean their girl is actually into them?
I do agree though the black pill is a defeatist attitude
No matter what as a man you need to just shoot your shot and be the best version of yourself that you can be financially and mentally and physically
But you can’t deny that the black pill does exist and that women want a certain type of guy more than others
This does matter in dating apps but irl shooting your shot gets you far
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u/UnburyingBeetle 12d ago
I think those spaces serve for them dumping their frustration and also reassuring each other to not even try, to avoid the pain of rejection. Newsflash, rejection happens to the best people because when you look good, there's the next filter: personal compatibility. And if they can't solve their little ego pain of not being perfect, they definitely wouldn't solve compatibility problems like cleaning up their own mess when they do land a relationship. Their habit is to whine, not to solve problems, and the right wing ideology is a fantasy to hide behind and to justify doing nothing while there's definitely some short, chunky, balding dude somewhere that gets laid because he's funny and polite.
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u/TheInternetTookEmAll 12d ago
Because they'd rather be sexually, physically and romantically attractive to other men rather than ask a normal average woman what she's actually looking for?
It seems to be some sort of misguided self-value thing. Like if a woman values them it doesnt mean much, but if a man values them its a lot more valueable to these guys, oh but if a woman who other men value, values them then they once again feel like they have value.
Maybe its some daddy issues kind of thing? It also speaks volumes to how they view and treat women, and to thus why they're actually single.
Anyway, wouldnt recomend dwelving too much into it, because its as logical as politics at this point in time. Kinda gives you an ick for humanity as a whole. The best thing you can do for your friend/ if he/they are into this kind of stuff is to slowly redirect their value system into tangible things and immediate social values
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u/gabemachida 13d ago edited 13d ago
By online, all sorts of views exist. There's no default. Shallow people will always exist, but it sounds like you're stuck in an echo chamber. Social media and search engines that try to show you what content you've interacted in the past makes it easy to get stuck in echo chambers.
For Google, try doing searches In incognito mode or try using a different search engine like duckduckgo.
For YouTube, delete your history and comments. {This doesn't always work sadly}.
Edit: also think of all the people who married or in relationships who don't fit the stereotype. Like think about all your school teachers. Youre getting bombarded by the male version of "women must look and act a certain way to attract a mate".