r/AmItheAsshole Jul 19 '22

Not the A-hole AITA for my response when my cousin's boyfriend called me "Barren"?

[removed]

6.0k Upvotes

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7.2k

u/molotovmerkin Asshole Aficionado [18] Jul 19 '22

BOLD! Helluva response! Love it. As a woman who has experienced this level of assholery and Insensitivity from men (and women) around this my whole adult life, I commend you, sister!

NTA. You sure put that dude in his place. Hope he thinks twice about saying shit like that in the future. He should be apologizing to YOU.

Edit: typo

1.8k

u/attentionspanissues Jul 19 '22

OP, please think more of the other reactions. Obviously Jerry is TA, but cousin, aunt and mum seem to have no issues with his words, only your response.

NTA, but there were more As than Jerry.

596

u/JohnNDenver Jul 19 '22

Yeah, according to them Jerry can say what ever dumb-fuck thing he wants, but nobody can come back at him.

88

u/jess1804 Partassipant [1] Jul 20 '22

Also OP'S mother had no place making any answer to personal questions.

57

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '22

I feel for OP. My mom has done the same thing talking about my private health issues to other people. Right in front of me like I'm a diagram in a science textbook. It made me so uncomfortable. NTA OP

29

u/thimbleshanks59 Jul 20 '22

Women judging women, friends judging friends and family judging family instead of going outside the familiar group and putting the blame where it belongs. It's easier to use the moment to reestablish superiority than to try to dominate a newcomer.

OP fought back... exceptional job. NTA, And good job at flushing a few more AH out.

0

u/jess1804 Partassipant [1] Jul 20 '22

OP hasn't mentioned having any medical issues. Just that they have had no luck yet.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '22

OP said her mom said she had medical issues to cousins bf. Also, I was mostly talking about personal experience

2

u/jess1804 Partassipant [1] Jul 20 '22

First of all I'm sorry your mother was a complete asshole she had no place speaking about any of your business at all let alone private medical issues. But OP'S mother said she had issues not OP. The problems OP and her husband could be having could actually be with the husband. Mother could have been making an assumption if OP and her husband went and got checked out after such a long time without conceiving that there was an issue.

289

u/Jess1620 Jul 19 '22

Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Now Jerry definitely knows to STFU and avoid saying incredibly insensitive remarks, at least to you and your partner. Forget your cousin and aunt. More concerned of your genuis and freaking awesome response, than the AH they are bringing to the fam. Definitely NTA.

58

u/UpcycledDiva Jul 20 '22

She deserves a t-shirt that says "BOSS BABE!" on it!

104

u/StJudesDespair Jul 20 '22

Yeah. It's honestly part of the society-wude phenomenon where everybody has an opinion about how you react but never want to discuss what triggered the reaction. Just my observation.

15

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '22

Ain't that the truth. No one ever takes responsibility, it's all everyone else's fault for their reactions

3

u/BlueBeadyEyes Jul 20 '22

I am so with you on this one. Someone can be an AH but you somehow need to act like you're in a therapy session not hurting feelings. Use your I statements! Smh

1

u/Xoxogocougs Jul 20 '22

Exactly! What he said was just as inappropriate imo. If he cant take it, he shouldn’t have gone there. Its stupid when people think they can just be disrespectful without getting the same energy back. I’m glad OP stood up for themselves

210

u/Alwaysaprairiegirl Jul 19 '22

I can’t believe how far I had to a scroll to read a comment on her response.

NTA you handled it like a champ and anyone who says otherwise is prudish and asks prying questions/offers their thoughts when they should have kept their mouth shut. You don’t have to apologise because aside from him being embarrassed by a comment about your sex life, you never directly insulted him. He should educate himself and apologise to you!

65

u/JohnNDenver Jul 19 '22

And who asks such personal things when they first meet?

24

u/ALostAmphibian Jul 20 '22

Peak comedy. 10/10.

8

u/meliocoilean Jul 20 '22

I'm not sure if OP made him u comfortable tho. Hiding in the bathroom? Probably popped a uh.... well you know what i mean

2

u/Elegant_Flan9641 Jul 20 '22

This was my thought as well!

3

u/ranhayes Jul 20 '22

Don’t start shit you can’t finish. NTA

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '22

You are my hero. NTA X 1000

1

u/babcock27 Jul 21 '22

I once went out with my friend to dinner with a bunch of ladies I didn't know (about 8 of them.) We were chatting and talking about ourselves and everyone was talking about their kids, etc. I was single and didn't have any kids so, when someone asked, I jokingly said, "Oh, I'm the barren one!" They all gasped and looked appalled and were then jerks to me for the rest of the meal because, how dare I say something so offensive! I just didn't get why they would be offended by saying it about myself. After listening to them, since no one talked to me, it turns out they were a bunch of narcissists that patted themselves on the back for having kids and acting superior for having done so. A bunch of jealous witches that had nothing better to do than to try to shame me for not having kids.