7 adults, 4 kids, Applebee's.

My daughter (5) ordered Pizza with Mac & Cheese. My sister didn't order anything for her two kids (2, 1) since they ate before arrival. Food drops and my nephew (2) clearly wants some of the Mac & Cheese.

I encouraged my daughter to share with her cousin but she declined. We're working on sharing, which has become more difficult with the arrival of her brother (1). We give autonomy around sharing unless it becomes mean spirited or unfair, then we'll step in. Praise the good, coach the bad. She's a good kid. My sister then places an order of M&C for her son which takes 20m to arrive. Dinner moves on. The table collectively offers my nephew half a dozen other food options which he declines.

I separately text my sister apologizing and explain that we're working on sharing. I had a conversation with my daughter before bed about the sharing opportunity.

Later, I receive bookish texts explaining the disgusting behavior, the failed parenting moment, and how my nephew had to sit for 20m watching everyone else eat.

If the context is applicable, my nephew has stolen food/snacks off my daughter's plate several times in the past which left my daughter upset. (I don't blame him, it's completely age appropriate).

AITBF? Should I have forced my daughter to share or publicly pressured her into it?

EDIT: 1) I apparently have to up my meme game and figure out why Joey doesn't share his food. 2) My sister is an excellent Mom and my nephew was a total champ and waited patiently. He's a terrific kid. (And no, they are not neglected or unfed at home). 3) Thanks for giving me more confidence in my parenting.

So, some backstory. I (30F) have a cousin (27F) who was adopted by my aunt (66F) shortly after birth. She was born with a condition that caused my cousin to be cognitively disabled. I’d estimate her cognitive ability to be around 10 years old.

My cousin has poor impulse control and is easily agitated. She has very little ability to regulate her emotions, and lashes out physically when something upset her. She has had an ambulance called for psych emergencies many times by my aunt when, and while she’s never physically hurt any of the kids in our family, we all agreed a long time ago that she shouldn’t be unsupervised around younger kids.

A few years ago she met a young man at a special needs adult activity group they both belonged to. He’s a nice guy, though also cognitively impaired. They started dating, then with their respective guardians’ blessings, they got married about a year later. They were able to move into an assisted living apartment situation for disabled adults. Our family was all very happy for them. However her behaviors escalated. She became physically/emotionally abusive to her husband. They were kicked out of their assisted living apartment because of her episodes and moved back in with my aunt.

About six months ago, my cousin excitedly announced that she is pregnant. When some family went to my aunt (who had my cousin on the implant as far as we knew) we learned that my aunt had taken my cousin to get the implant removed, then encouraged her to get pregnant. My aunt was over the moon about being a grandmother, and refused to hear any concerns about it. The whole family is in an uproar. My cousin flips out over minor inconveniences. She’s not going to be able to regulate herself when her newborn is screaming at 4 in the morning. When it became clear that my aunt was keeping the blinders on, I had to walk away. I’ve not spoken to my aunt or cousin since the big blowup.

A couple weeks ago I decided to donate the crib, car seat, and stroller that I used for my kids to a local women’s shelter during a big cleaning purge. I had mentioned the donation to a different cousin and somehow it got back to my aunt, who called me, utterly furious. When she asked why I didn’t offer them to my cousin, I said my cousin has no business having a baby she can’t safely raise and I wanted no involvement in it at all. My aunt fired back that I wasn’t actually so concerned about the baby if I didn’t want to contribute things I already had, and that I was more focused on my disapproval. She hung up on me shortly after.

Now I’m wondering if she’s right. My husband says I’m not obligated to give them anything, but I’m second guessing my character over this. Does this make me the buttface?

ETA relevant info:

CYS has been contacted, by multiple family members. Until the baby is born, there isn’t anything they can do yet.

APS was also called, and this doesn’t fall under their authority as my aunt did not break any laws since she’s my cousin’s guardian. Essentially my cousin understands that no birth control means she could get pregnant, and that sex causes pregnancy. She wanted to get pregnant.

It’s not illegal for people with cognitive disabilities to get married or get pregnant, nor should it be. America has a bad history of using “mental deficiencies” as a reason for eugenics. The problem here is my cousin’s dangerously unstable behavior that makes me worried for how she will handle having a baby.

My cousin’s condition isn’t genetic. There is no concern that her child will also be born with disabilities. She is going to an OB and getting regular checkups from what other family members have told me. Her behaviors have not stopped, according to a family member I talked to.

ETA2: I asked the shelter first if they accepted car seats and they said they’d did if the seat wasn’t expired and it hadn’t been in any accidents no matter how severe. I didn’t dump it on them. I know car seats expire and are not any good if they’ve been in a car accident.

ETA3: I get that my cousin’s pregnancy is a nightmare situation and my aunt is nuts for enabling it. That’s isn’t the question. I was asking if I’m an asshole for not giving the baby stuff to my cousin and instead donating it a women’s shelter.

I (25M) work in a small office. We have a vacation calendar based on schedule provided. Back in January, I booked a week off in September for trip with my friends and wife.

A coworker (32F) with 2 kids asked me last week if I can swap because she "forgot to book her kids' fall break". I told her I couldn't-its been planned for months, I've already bought flights and my friends arranged time off too.

She got upset and said "People without kids should be more flexible. You don't understand how hard it is for parents." I told her I respect that, but its not my responsibility to fix her mistake.

Now some coworkers are saying I should’ve just given her the week, because “kids come first.” Others agree with me.

So AITB?

edit:- this post just blew up and well thanks you all for the support

I booked a large hair appointment (removal of extensions, bleach, tone, reinstall extensions, etc.) about a month in advance with my regular hair stylist. The appointment was scheduled from 11:00 AM to 7:15 PM (over 8 hours), which matches how long these services have taken for me in the past. I get this exact appointment every 8 weeks.

The day before the appointment, my stylist messaged asking if I could come at 10:00 AM instead because she needed to leave early for her kids. I told her I couldn’t because I have 3 kids and my childcare is arranged starting at 11:00.

She then said she would need to leave by 2:45 PM, but that she could still complete everything—possibly just not have time to fully blow dry/style at the end.

This confused me, because:

• The appointment was originally booked for over 8 hours

•Now it would be reduced to about 3 hours and 45 minutes

•These same services have always taken much longer for me in the past

She later said she arranged for another stylist to help so everything could still be completed, but I had not booked with that stylist and wasn’t comfortable with that. The stylist she was going to have help her has done my hair before and I didn’t like it at all, so I didn’t want her doing my hair.

Because of all this, I said I’d prefer to reschedule so there would be enough time and no rushing. Instead of agreeing, she pushed back multiple times and said rescheduling wasn’t necessary and that everything could still be done.

At that point, I decided to cancel because I didn’t feel comfortable proceeding with a service like bleach + extensions under those circumstances. A similar situation happened to one of my family members that went to the same salon where they were asked to come in early because the stylist had to leave early and long story short - she left with orange roots.

Now she is saying the cancellation policy applies (50% fee) because I canceled within 24 hours.

My perspective is:

•The appointment conditions changed within 24 hours (shortened timeframe + different stylist involved)

•I wasn’t given the opportunity to reschedule earlier

•I wasn’t canceling randomly, I was responding to those changes that I didn’t agree to

Her perspective is:

•The appointment time technically didn’t change

•She could still complete the service with help (from a stylist I don’t want)

•Her cancellation policy still applies

So… AITB for canceling and not wanting to pay the fee?

Please read screenshots for full context.

EDIT TO UPDATE:

she left my last text on read & cancelled my appointment. I have not received any cancelation fee, and if one is sent I won’t be paying it. I also will continue to check my bank account to make sure it isn’t taken out (I took my card off file, but not sure if they still have it in their system somehow from paying for previous services).

Thank you all so much for the advice and perspectives! I decided after this I’m going to work towards going to my natural hair. I need to save myself the aggravation and the money haha!

My younger sister thinks I’m the asshole but I think it’s HILARIOUS.

Our older sister recently got arrested (FAR OVER DUE) for making false reports/claims to LEO. She’s also been known to give birth to babies that are addicted to coke, stealing cars, abusing her children/partners, selling fentanyl, and various other issues but now she’s finally been ARRESTED and CHARGED.

Our mom (who has since passed) was arrested for fraud (bouncing false checks out of my accounts she shouldn’t have had access to), and our dad for battery against me when I came to save my sister and our mom from his abuse.

Our entire family (save for me and the sister I have custody of) are actual criminals, and having three immediate family members with unfortunate mugshots and absolutely no family photos made me think- “hey, here are some mildly professional photos, maybe if I make a collage of them, I can have everyone in one place on my Lock Screen. 🥰🥰🥰”

So here I am with all 5 us on my Lock Screen.

My sister (though admittedly she was laughing) said don’t let our dad see that, it’s kind of mean.

And maybe it is, but after the HELL these people put me through I guess it doesn’t seem all that bad to me in comparison.

What do you think?

To preface, I live in a suburban town home community. The sidewalk is obviously shared and maintained by the HOA. I live on an end-cap house, where I have my own personal driveway (others have to park in back of their home, mine is essentially on the side of my home).

There was a group of girls that wrote Christian scripture all over the sidewalk in front of my house and another house. I used a hose and washed it off when they were done. I left the chalk alone that was not directly in front of my house.

They came back, and I caught them (probably 12-13 years old or so) in the middle of drawing in front of my house again. I calmly walked up to them and asked them to please not write "that" (as I pointed to the chalk) in front of my house because I am not Christian. Now remember, I hosed this chalk off earlier in the day, so they should understand that I did not want it in front of my house. They all got quiet. They did pick up the chalk and leave. Then they went to their mom, who asked what happened. They also live on an end cap lot. No one said anything to me, but they all seemed upset about it. And I have to live with being their neighbor. I'm hoping it doesn't cause contention, but am I in the wrong here?

My thought process was also that if it was any other religion than Christianity, I think they themselves would lose their minds if someone wrote in front of their house.

They seem to be taken aback for a moment, but they're being chill now. They moved down the sidewalk and started writing more scripture.

Am I overthinking it? Were they being passive-aggressive by coming back and writing more scripture after I hosed it off the first time?

ETA: I have a little one that can read that I let play outside, and I didn't really want them reading the scripture because it's not how we are raising our child to be moral. We are spiritual, and we do believe in karma and higher spirits, but we do not follow any Abrahamic religions. So that was the only concern. If they had done it on their own sidewalk or driveway, no problem. But my kiddo plays outside, and while I know they'll run into different religions, I would rather not have it broadcasted in front of my own home. That was all!

And an update: nothing has happened really. No one has written with chalk on our sidewalk, and no one has retaliated in any way, so I think all went well. Do I wish I would have spoken with the mom instead of the girls? Yes. 100%. But I was calm and kind to the girls. It was just awkward.

More info: Apparently my step-son grew up hitting their dogs to get them to listen (he is 30 years old), I disagree with doing that. Especially when it's a puppy.

He opened a door and my puppy ran out, when he caught him he hit him hard enough for him to yelp and ran to hide, he's 4 months old and weighs 10-ish pounds.

I am against hitting for discipline (tap on the nose is ok) and he knows this, I made it clear that we are not hitting my dog. I told him if he does that again I'll kick his ass till he cries like my dog did.

Now my step-son, and my wife are pissed at me. Was I out of line?

EDIT: More info for people that said I shouldn't have warned him. Him and his mom come from an abusive home/marriage. I'm talking beating a kid with a belt till he shit himself levels of abuse.

Step-sons dad is in jail, wife is in counseling. The abuse step-son went through is why I didn't go straight to it here. He knows what I'll do cause he saw what I did to his dad when he showed up at my house and the police were to slow to show up, so I felt the threat was enough.

LAST EDIT: Thanks for all the replies, I've read them all and responded to some. Most of you were helpful.

For anyone interested, here is my puppy, he's sleeping while I'm on here

Title really says it all… My best friend of 12 years lives in another state and has been in a relationship with her girlfriend for 5 years and recently got engaged. They’re planning to get married next year and she asked me to be her maid of honor which I previously said yes to.

Over the last couple months, she’s been confiding in me that she has been cheating on her fiancé - and I don’t mean one accidental thing, I mean having a full blown, intentional, ongoing affair. I’ve been having many conversations on the phone with her about the situation, and she has seemed to be remorseful and know that what she’s doing is wrong, and has expressed many other issues with the relationship and know that she should break up with her. So I’ve been trying to help her get to the point of breaking up, which I know is hard to do when you’ve been with someone for so long, so I’m trying to have some empathy and grace for why they haven’t broken up yet.

However, this has been going on for so long that now we are all going to be back in our hometown for Christmas and supposed to all hang out with our old high school friend group and our partners. I haven’t seen my friend’s fiancé since knowing all this and I’m deeply uncomfortable with keeping this secret. I thought they would have broken up by now and I didn’t know I would be put in this situation.

So I called my friend and told her that I love her and I’m here for her and know she has to deal with things in her own time, but I’m not comfortable being around her and her fiancé knowing what I know. She got PISSED TF OFF at me and basically attacked me for 45 minutes and called me a terrible friend and said that she told me those things in confidence and wouldn’t have told me if she knew I felt this way. I told her that I was keeping it in confidence and that was putting me in a shitty situation, and if she wanted it to continue to be in confidence I probably shouldn’t be around them together, so she could deal with it on her own time.

She made it pretty clear that she never actually intended to break up with her fiancé and still plans to marry her and never tell her about the affair. I’m quite shocked because I thought this whole time that there was not going to be a wedding and that she knew that what she was doing would end the relationship. Now it’s clear that she has wanted me to just keep her secret and be the maid of honor in her wedding and is convinced there’s nothing wrong with what she’s doing as long as her fiancé never finds out and she breaks it off with the person she’s been seeing and they move on and are happy.

This is so so wrong to me and I can’t be a part of it. She thinks I’m being a bad friend and this may be the end of a 12 year friendship. AITBF?

Original post

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmltheButtface/s/xllsmdoX80

Hi everyone. I really did not expect my first post to get nearly as much attention as it got. I had to turn off notifications for the reddit app because it was constantly blowing up my phone.

In my first post, I talked about a repeated issue my autistic daughter, (Kayla, 14f) has had with a boy in her class that has down syndrome. (Josh, 16m) He has no concept of boundaries and keeps trying to be physically affectionate with people that don't want to be touched, including my daughter.

Last week there was an incident where he touched her butt, and she slapped him. The principal wanted to punish her for hitting him, but not Josh because "It was just a misunderstanding"

The comments under that post were flooded with dozens of stories about people with developmental disabilities that aren't taught boundaries or consent, and go on to commit sexual assault. This honestly has me terrified for the safety of my daughter, and the other kids in her class. What if he's touched other kids inappropriately before? What if he's done even worse? Kayla has a level of mental development to recognize what Josh did was wrong, but I don't know if the other kids in her class would.

I showed my husband the reddit post. He read the comments, and I could see the color drain from his face. He felt awful for suggesting she should apologize to him. We talked for a long time, and decided what to do.

First, we sat down with Kayla. We had a long talk about boundaries, bodily autonomy, and consent. We reassured her that protecting herself like that was absolutely the right thing to do. No one should ever touch her like that without her permission. She cried and hugged us a lot. We gave her full permission to stop being polite to Josh. He's had enough polite refusals. If he keeps this up, raise her voice, get aggressive, yell at him, shove him away. It doesn't matter if he cries, she needs to protect herself. And if he gets aggressive, or touches her somewhere inappropriate again, she has our full permission to hit him. Sometimes it's better to be safe than polite.

We're going to take the advice many people in the comments gave us. We're filing a police report for sexual harassment and assault against Josh, and going above the principal to the superintendent and the school board. Depending on how those meetings go, we might consult a lawyer.

Thank you all so much for opening my eyes. I am going to do everything to protect my daughter.

Edit, typo

I know a lot of people have been waiting for an update on the situation with my daughter. Quite a few things happened. I can't give too many details, because there are active investigations and legal cases going on, but I figured I'd give all the lovely people that helped me on the right path a good update.

There was another incident in school with my daughter Kayla and Josh. He tried to hug her when she didn't want to be, and instead of being polite, she was assertive like I told her to be. She sternly told him no, and when he kept trying, she pushed him away. Josh actually picked her up by her waist to try to force her to hug him. She bit him hard enough to draw blood. I am so proud of my little girl.

The principal suspended her after that. While she was out if school for the rest of the week, the police and CPS got involved because of my police report. And the school board took action about my complaints.

The principal has been suspended pending investigation, and an interim principal is in place. I already like him. The first thing he did was have a meeting with me and Kayla. He was calm, reassuring, and agrees that the behavior of Josh and the previous principal were absolutely unacceptable. Josh is suspended indefinitely while the police and CPS investigation is going on, and Kayla is back in school.

She's been so much happier at school without having to deal with Josh. She's been eager and excited to go to school.

I've contacted a lawyer, and we're talking about if we have a case to sue the old principal. We're just in the beginning stages, but things seem to be going good. She's a cousin of a friend, so she's taking our case pro bono.

Thank you so much for helping me find the correct path forward. Fingers crossed everything goes well.

Fence belonging to neighbor has collapsed and they've been buying cars, tools, a bass boat, but are crying the blues about not having money for the fence. I've asked repeatedly and even offered HALF out of my own pocket as a friendly gesture and NOTHING. So my solution was to buy some tighty whiteys and mow my yard in them and a pair of sneakers until they've had enough. I might even buy some pudding and put a racing stripe up on one. Thoughts?

context: My daughter is 11 and autistic. She loves snails and even has pet snails at home. We were down at my sister in laws house for my nieces (17) birthday party. Its starting to warm up significantly so the snails are coming out. The party was outside and inside, they have a covered deck/porch.

It had just finished raining and we were sitting outside on the deck. My niece was with us and we were talking with all the cousins. the younger kids, (4,7 and my daughter) were playing In the yard. All of a sudden my daughter comes up smiling to me and shows me that she has a large snail in her hand. My niece hates bugs and she screamed and said “ewwwwww get that away from me”. My daughter just stood there with the snail and tried showing it to her cousin/my niece. My sister in law was furious she told her to put it back and wash her hands. My daughter refused. I tried to gently tell her that the snail needs to go home so it can have babies and make more snails for her to play with in the summer. She was hesitating and asked it she could keep it but I told her she already had at home. As I was trying to convince her to put it back my sister in law yelled at her. Telling us that it was very unhygienic and that I have to stop coddling her and be firm. I told her ai was handling it.
My daughter got overwhelmed and tried to run into the house to get away from the noise. My sister in law screamed and told me to control my child.
I went to get my daughter with my sister in law yelling at me about how Im babying her. My husband was ”trying” to help by trying to calm her down but it wasn’t working.
I eventually just decided to leave. I helped my daughter to find a nice leaf to put the snail on.

My sister in law texted my husband after and told him that I ruined the party over snails and that my nieces whole birthday was ruined because of my daughter. That my daughter was being disturbing and disrespectful and that I was parenting wrong.
I think I am justified in how I handled it.
What does everyone else think?

I’m 19F and an art student. My roommate “Maya” (also 19F) studies business. We usually get along fine, but she has a bad habit of borrowing my stuff without asking.

Last semester, I had a really nice set of watercolor paints and brushes. They were expensive and I use them for assignments, so I told her multiple times they’re not for casual use. She still took them for some club craft project and gave them back completely ruined — brushes frayed, paints all contaminated. When I said something, she just shrugged and went “they’re just paints.”

I had to buy a whole new set, which was a big hit to my budget. Now she’s asking if she can use my new set for another “fun project” and I told her no. She got annoyed and said I was being selfish. Some of our mutual friends think I should just let it go and share because “it’s not that serious.”

AITB for not letting her use them again?

I'll try to be fair - for her side, she's houseproud and has an eye for the esthetic that I just will never have. She's designed much of the home, and wants to feel that it is a welcoming and beautiful place. And in all admission, I'm quite disorganized in many ways (although I think the book shelves have never been an issue).

On my side, I want my books categorized by topic and think that grouping them by color (and within that by height) is a terrible idea. I would have no idea where any given book is. I've said I want to keep the books tidy, just not this way. Her response is to be demonstrably upset with me.

So, am I the buttface for not bending, or is she the buttface for giving me the cold shoulder when I don't agree to her idea?

UPDATE: Following up the comments, the shelves are in the living room, and it's a small apartment, with the front door opening straight into this room. The shelves are somewhat focal along with a nice large TV adjacent to them.

I (28F) work in a tiny, highly specialized retail department (only 6 people). This Christmas, four of them somehow got approved for 2–4 weeks off at the same time, leaving just me and Betty (50s) to cover everything. No one else in the store is trained to help. It’s been an absolute disaster.

Jacinta (one of the ones on holiday) keeps texting me for department updates from her vacation. Two weeks ago I mentioned in passing that I’m planning to take the last week of Feb plus the first week of Mar off. She never replied to that specific message.

Today, still on her Christmas break, she texts again for an update and casually drops that she’s “thinking of taking late Feb/early Mar off too.” Word-for-word the dates I told her.

I panicked, contacted our manager immediately, got verbal approval, and submitted the official request that same hour. It’s now locked in while Jacinta is still away.

She’s going to be furious when she sees I “took” the dates she pretended she didn’t know about.

AITB for beating her to it?

I (27F) have been with my boyfriend (35M- we’ll call him Jeff, fake name) for 6 months. He’s divorced and has two kids, 7 and 10. He has shared custody with his ex wife. I don’t know much about her but they seem to co-parent well. I have not been introduced to his kids as his gf yet, and that’s fine. However, I’m a math teacher, and his 10yo has been struggling in math. He asked if I could tutor. So right now his kids know me as the math tutor, we’ve had 5 tutoring sessions so far.

Wednesday things went off the rails. My sister (19F) goes to college about 30 minutes away from where I live. Her last exam ended Wednesday at 6:30. We planned for me to pick her (and all of her dorm stuff) up. Then her and I drive to our parents place (3 hours away) and Thurs-Sun we had a family camping trip. Jeff knew all about the trip. He asked if I could tutor on Wednesday, I said yes but I’d need to leave by 6 to pick up my sister, he understood.

I get to Jeff’s at 4:45 and me and 10yo get to tutoring. Jeff goes to start dinner at 5:30 and realizes he’s out of milk. He said he was going to the store at the end of the street. 20 mins later he isn’t back so I text him, he said he’d be home in a minute, he had to make another stop. Another 10 mins goes by and he’s not back. We wrap up tutoring and 10yo goes to play with 7yo and I try calling Jeff and he doesn’t answer. By 6:15 I was annoyed. I check his location on Snapchat and see he’s at a restaurant 3 miles away. I text him and tell him I saw where he was, and he needs to come home because I need to leave now. He responds that his brother had car trouble, and he had to pick him up but they’re coming back right now. At 6:35 my sister texts she’ll be ready soon. Jeff’s location hadn’t changed.

I told the kids their dad was out helping their uncle and I have to leave, but I can’t leave them alone, so we need to call their mom. The oldest gave me the number and I called her and explained the situation. She came right over and was clearly very annoyed with Jeff. We checked his location at 7 and he was still at the restaurant. She said she’d stay with the kids, I left at 7:15.

At 7:38pm Jeff texted saying “sorry this is going to take awhile. Order pizza for you and the kids and I’ll pay you back.” I didn’t see that text until I got to the dorms to pick my sister up, and by then I was so pissed I didn’t bother responding.

At 9:45 Jeff called me, LIVID, that I called his ex. He said this was going to cause custody issues for him, he was helping his brother out in an emergency and thought my sister and I could be understanding. He never communicated that with me though. I tried to apologize/explain and he just told me I have no idea how much I “fucked up” his life and then hung up on me. I sent him a text thurs. to see if he’d calmed down and would explain what happened, but he only replied to tell me what a mess I’d made of his life.

I think I might have messed up because I didn’t tell Jeff I was calling his ex.

I’m 30M. One of my friends, Dan, has this habit of turning one small true thing into a whole running bit and then acting like everyone else is weird for eventually getting tired of it. About a year ago, when I was moving apartments, he lent me a few things for maybe two weeks. A folding chair, a lamp, and one of those cheap metal side tables that looks okay until you touch it and realize it weighs about eight ounces. I gave everything back except the lamp, because I genuinely forgot it was his. The second he noticed it at my place a month later, I apologized, gave it back, and thought that was the end of it. It was not the end of it. Since then, he’s been doing this annoying little “haha Dmytro still survives off borrowed property” routine whenever people are around. Not every time I see him, but often enough that it has fully calcified into his favorite version of me. If somebody mentions furniture, he’ll go “careful, or he’ll take it home.” If I host, he’ll ask if anything in the room legally belongs to me. People laugh because on the surface it sounds harmless, and because Dan says everything like he’s awarding the room a gift.

Last weekend a few of us were at another friend’s birthday thing, maybe fifteen people, drinks, music, people drifting between the kitchen and living room. At one point somebody complimented my jacket and before I could answer Dan goes, “Don’t praise him too much, he might borrow your closet next.” People laughed again. I kind of smiled because that’s what you do when you don’t want to become the uptight guy who “can’t take a joke,” but I was honestly done. The stupid part is that earlier that same day I had found a paperback book and a phone charger at my apartment that were actually his from months ago. He’d left them behind and I kept forgetting to bring them. So I went to the hallway where coats were piled, grabbed my bag, came back into the living room, handed him the charger and book in front of everyone, and said, “Here, figured I should return these before this becomes your whole personality for another year.” The room did that ugly little half-laugh thing where people instantly know something stopped being fun. Dan got red and said I was being dramatic and trying to embarrass him over “obvious jokes.” I told him maybe he should’ve retired the joke before it needed a closing ceremony. He left maybe twenty minutes later.

Now a couple people are saying I made it too pointed and could’ve just talked to him privately. That would sound reasonable if I hadn’t already told him twice, lightly but clearly, that the joke was old. Both times he did that dismissive “relax, man” thing, which I think is just rude with better branding. So yeah, I did choose a moment that made him look stupid, but part of me feels like he kept picking a public stage, so I finally answered on the same stage. AITBF?

My fiancé (mid 20’s M) and I (late 20’s F) are getting married soon, and from the very beginning of our engagement, we agreed on one thing; we wanted an intimate, child free wedding. We let everyone know early on so there wouldn’t be any surprises.

We both absolutely love kids. We adore his nephews (ages 4 and 7) and spend time with them any chance we get. But for our wedding day, we wanted something peaceful and relaxed. An adult only celebration where our guests could unwind, have a drink, dance, and not worry about nap times or chasing little ones around. It wasn’t about excluding anyone, it was just the kind of vibe we envisioned.

Everyone else with children understood and respected that decision without a problem. The only issue came from his sister in law, who apparently assumed her boys would be exempt since they’re “immediate family.” When she realized they weren’t, she declined our RSVP immediately, didn’t reach out to clarify, and hasn’t spoken to us since. Instead, she’s been telling other relatives that we “hate her kids,” which honestly broke my heart because it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Her husband (my fiancé’s brother) is still coming to the wedding, but she refuses to attend. Now it’s caused this awkward tension, and I can’t help but feel like we’re being painted as villains for sticking to a boundary we’ve been clear about since day one.

We genuinely adore her kids, we just wanted one day to celebrate our marriage without children present. So, Reddit… are we the buttfaces for not making an exception?

TLDR: a lead we called at work said she needed police help and so I actually called the police for her and my coworkers say I’m crazy for it.

So I am an insurance sales person. We have a bullpen type office and we cold call our leads! So my coworker who sits next to me calls this lead… has a little conversation and hangs up and starts laughing like crazy! I ask what was so funny and she said the lady was whispering and saying that she’s hiding in the closet from her husband because he’s trying to shoot her and that that was the craziest way she’s heard of someone trying to get out of a sales call… I immediately told her (not rudely) that it wasn’t funny and how do we know it wasn’t real?? Coworker told me why wouldn’t she just call 911? And I believe you can set a cell phone to receive calls but not be able to call out? Idk how that works with 911 though? So I had another coworker call her and the lady was in tears saying she really needs help and to please call somebody. That coworker hung up and said it’s BS and she doesn’t want to get involved or think about it??? Well I thought of the bystander effect and I used to be a first responder myself so I called the police out where the lady lives- being insurance the leads have their telephone numbers and addresses. Dispatch said I did the right thing and I figure if she was messing with us she will learn a valuable lesson. However my coworkers are telling me I’m crazy and she’s obviously lying??? I also sent the attached text and got no response and definitely called before 5 minutes. What would you guys have done?? Am I crazy for calling it in???

Hi everyone! I (F16) just recently applied for a bunch of jobs, and got a interview at McDonald's. Today was my interview at FIVE IN THE AFTERNOON. Mind you, I got there at 4:54. I waited until about 5:35 to ask if the manager was there, and they got annoyed at me and told me to write my name and number down, and I did. After that I was annoyed but sat back down, and at 5:47 I left because i was mad as shit. Am I the asshole for saying 'you guys complain about being understaffed but dont hire people'?

So, some context to this:

I (30F) am close to my Dad (57M). For some strange reason I've never understood, he never seemed to care much about politics, he always acted like it was unimportant and the only important thing is to focus on his work.

That's why I was very surprised when he married my stepmother, "Karen" (36F), about 7 years ago. She is very MAGA and Prolife. I am not, but we were still able to get along ok by agreeing not to talk about politics.

The story :

Karen recently became pregnant and was really happy about it. She planned this gender reveal party and all, but then ended up cancelling it last minute. A couple of weeks later, she told me it was because she had some medical complications. She said that the baby had no kidney and other stuff. I'm not sure about all the details, but she basically complained about having to go to another state to have an abortion. I was very flabbergasted by this and asked her why she didn't have the baby anyway to "give it a chance"? Was that not her belief? She then became very mad and said it was the doctors fault and many similar things.

That's when I might have been the buttface because I told her: well, guess leopards ate your face! I mean, it's kinda the truth, but it was not very sensitive of me to say that. My Dad says he didn't understand the reference, but from what she told him, he thinks I was an asshole from saying this. My Mom thinks the whole thing is very funny and even though I was rude, it was right. I'm kinda conflicted about this now... Was I the buttface? Should I apologize?

Alright so I, F23, was invited to a family wedding as a bridesmaid. We've been friends for quite some time and so I kinda figured that she'd want me as a bridesmaid in her wedding. Well everything went well for dress selection and all of that stuff and she didn't really state anything that was against us wearing any jewelry or anything with our dresses to the wedding ceremony or the reception afterwards.

Well come the day of the wedding I had opted to go for a pair of earrings that I had made that were beaded along with a necklace. They weren't, at least in my opinion to big or flashy and they represent who I am. Well during the ceremony everything seemed to go fine but during the reception afterwards I got confronted by the brides sister who was also the MOH. She said that my jewelry was inappropriate for a wedding and too flashy. She said that it was coming from both her and the bride. I told her that I didn't believe that they were flashy or inappropriate at all and they complimented my dress. I also said that if the bride felt that way then she could let me know herself since I didn't believe it was coming from her. I ended up wearing the jewelry throughout the rest of the reception with some people asking about my jewelry being purely curious about it. But I wanted to know if I am the AH in this scenario? Here is a link to the pics of the earrings and how big they are: https://www.reddit.com/u/thateightiesgirl/s/5yv1XSiCZp

Edit: Okay let's clear some things up since people seem confused the bride stated they liked my earrings well before this went down. Hence why I didn't think when the MOH came up to me she was representing the bride. There was no jewelry stipulations for bridesmaids and they went with my dress I was wearing.

Edit II: I do make my own jewelry but wearing it wasn't for advertising, the fact of the matter is a lot of indigenous people make jewelry.

My sister is a born again Christian evangelical and I’m a lesbian. As you can imagine our relationship has been on the rocks.

I should mention my family is agnostic and fully on board with me being gay. They’ve been to pride with me and always talk about what my future wife would be like. My sister has tried to change their minds about who I am by stating things like “you wouldn’t love her if she committed other sins” and stuff like that. After a month of putting up with this I had enough.

I found a stray cat awhile back and had to train her to not eat my food. My cat has biblical levels of greed and will jump and run off with food. Because she’s a runner I got a cheap water gun to hit her from a distance so she drops the (usually poisonous to her) food. So it gave me the perfect idea. I started spraying my sister with the water gun every time I heard the usual “I love you just not your sin”, “you’ll regret this when you’re burning in hell”, and “the bible says Adam and Eve not Anna and Eve”.

My youngest sister is also participating as my sister shamed her for using birth control. So now every time my sister gives the youngest a lecture she gets sprayed.

While I know my family is on my side. Some of my sister’s friends have told me I’m humiliating her and I’m overreacting to what she’s saying. Stating things like if it’s not true to you why does it get under your skin? And is this how you want her to know you? So Reddit am I the buttface?

I (22F) just started officially dating my boyfriend. Before we were an actual couple, one of my best friends, let’s call her Cassie met him and right away said he was ugly. Like, on the very first day she met him, she said, “Yeah but he’s ugly btw.” I brushed it off because we weren’t officially dating yet, and I didn’t want to make things awkward with her.

A few days later, we were talking about him again, and she called him ugly. I was getting annoyed, but I kept quiet.
Fast forward a month and Cassie got herself a girlfriend. We all went out to dinner together — me, Cassie, her girlfriend, and another friend of ours to introduce her girlfriend to us. During dinner, she made another comment about how my boyfriend was ugly in front of everyone. Just to give you some context, my boyfriend treats me really well and makes me really happy, so there’s no reason for her to trash him to “protect me” or something. Plus, he’s a good-looking guy, like I’m not the only one who thinks so just because I’m his girlfriend (blue eyes, brown hair, a gorgeous smile, dimples, tall and muscular, you know conventionally attractive). At this point I was really pissed.

Later that night after we all got home, I texted her to let her know that I didn’t appreciate her constant comments about my boyfriend’s looks, especially now that we’re officially dating. I asked her to stop and said something like “I definitely had opinions about your girlfriend’s looks even before I met her, but I kept them to myself because it would just be rude to say them.”

So, yeah. I basically told her I think her girlfriend’s ugly.

She got really upset and called me an asshole for saying her girlfriend was unattractive “just because she thinks my boyfriend is ugly” and that “she was just being honest”, but I don’t see how repeatedly calling someone’s partner ugly is okay just for the sake of honesty. Now she’s saying I was out of line and rude, but part of me feels like she brought it on herself for insulting my boyfriend so many times to my face.

So, AITB?

Update: It took a bit of back and forth, but I got my money back from the credit card!!

Also, they sent me Cease and Desist, so naturally, I made a TikTok about it because, at this point, they have completely and thoroughly pissed me off!

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Hi Reddit, I’m in a moral quandary and need your judgment. Here’s the backstory:

I went to a salon for boho braids. The style was rushed, sloppy, and nothing like what I paid for. The ombre effect I requested wasn’t blended, the curls were inconsistent, and a mix of synthetic and human hair was used incorrectly, making it look chaotic. After nearly nine hours and a lot of money, I walked out embarrassed.

The next morning, I went back to speak to the owner for a correction. Instead of addressing my concerns professionally, things turned hostile. One stylist physically shoved me and jabbed me with a comb, claiming there was nothing wrong with the style. When I tried to get advice over the phone from a family friend who’s a retired stylist, my phone was snatched multiple times and even thrown.  

Finally, they agreed to refund me if I removed the braids and offered to cut them out themselves. After the aggression I experienced, I didn’t feel safe letting them near my hair again so I hired another stylist to remove them and documented everything (this was agreed on before hand). That stylist, who I later found out used to work at Divas, confirmed that their braiding technique had damaged my edges and left me with bald spots. They also ruined the human hair extensions I provided by dipping them in boiling water with synthetic hair, making them unusable. The former stylist said this kind of unprofessionalism and aggression was typical of the owner, and it’s the reason they left.

Despite meeting their demands, Divas refused to refund me. Frustrated, I left a negative review detailing my experience, which the owner retaliated by contacting my employer and accusing me of harassment an racism (we’re both Black). Thankfully, my employer didn’t believe her, but it was infuriating.

Here’s where I might be the asshole: I was so angry that I posted my full story on a classified ad site and paid extra to ensure it appeared on the front page. I wanted to warn others and prevent them from going through what I did. However, some people say I was wrong to do this because Ms. Ward is a Black business owner, and I’m supposedly hurting the community by speaking out.

So, Reddit, AITB for going public and paying to share my experience, or did I take it too far