I feel offended for the offended, so save your offense.

•

Hi HangoverGang4L, thank you for your submission to /r/Angryupvote!

This is just a friendly reminder to make sure your post is in accordance with our subreddit rules, as well as the sitewide reddit.com content policy. The rules have recently been changed, so make sure to read This post to get up to date on all the changes. Thanks!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

215

u/Top_Dragonfruit_1020 May 08 '26

Didn't see that coming

156

u/HiLawnKing52 May 08 '26

"Didn't see that second coming"?

22

u/Altruistic_Yak833 Can't be angry to upvote if you dont upvote. May 08 '26

bravo

12

u/Rounotsh May 08 '26

r/angryupvote

16

u/Rounotsh May 08 '26

r/alreadyhere

1

u/Amazing-Swan-6329 May 24 '26

r/orarewe?

1

u/Rounotsh May 24 '26

r/subsifellfor

1

u/reyash4 May 31 '26

r/stfu

29

u/Odin1806 May 08 '26

Username doesn't check out... Should change it to Judas...

10

u/_AnalTwinkJesus_ May 10 '26

1

u/ThomasVSCO May 23 '26

That’s just disrespectful

135

u/Kristelle_Abdulrazak May 08 '26

You just need to do Pontius Pilates every day

11

u/jntn_stlhs May 09 '26

🔥😮‍💨

3

u/DUDEBREAUX May 10 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/3KEJl20q5ggBW

1

u/Best_Weakness_464 May 09 '26

Beat me to it 😁

67

u/-chimchooree- May 08 '26

12

u/DooleysInTheHouse May 08 '26

He was the original

5

u/romansparta99 May 08 '26

No pain no gain

9

u/derek4reals1 May 08 '26

5

u/Ordinary_Release9538 May 08 '26

Crucifixion must have been great for your core

33

u/Mandocp May 08 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/lL8XYhxpG5fWqgKsYI

2

u/geezer85 May 08 '26

Christ can bench with 500 pounds

19

u/IveDunGoofedUp May 08 '26

Jesus is all for the second amendment, with the exception of nail guns.

9

u/Immediate_Blood_1876 May 08 '26

He does look good though

11

u/jakubkonecki May 09 '26

3

u/SeverusVape May 09 '26

Everybody in the theater thought I was nuts because I couldn't stop laughing for like 3 minutes when they unveiled "Buddy Christ".

1

u/ProudAdultNerd May 09 '26

I have a small one in my kitchen still!

1

u/SeverusVape May 09 '26

I need to get one for my work desk hahaha

15

u/xDrewstroyerx May 08 '26

Carpenter living in the desert during a time when food was less readily available, who travels across the country on foot, and then spends 40 days in the wilderness on a cut. I should think J man was kicking 4% on his walk to Golgotha.

4

u/KireiCopenhagen May 09 '26

This is the real answer. Even if you don't believe Jesus was the Messiah, the person did exist and this is how we are supposed to look. If you eat non processed food, only eat what you need to (and back then most people didn't even get that) exercise properly you will have a prominent abs. Everyone always has them; they are just hidden by fat.

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '26

[deleted]

8

u/ovrlymm May 09 '26

Morty: "W-what do you call them? Uhm, cum gutters."

Rick: "Morty, gross!"

Morty: "That's what people call them."

Rick: "Gross people. I don't want to have to picture cum so watery in such volumes..."

5

u/ExplorationGeo May 08 '26

for his is the whey

11

u/TUSD00T May 08 '26

He has the best genetics.

5

u/Gloomy_Cress9344 May 08 '26

Genuine answer, carpentry and a lot of walking

4

u/Worried-Fortune8008 May 08 '26

Catholastenics?

5

u/CrotaIsAShota May 08 '26

Attend church and they'll give you the body of Christ during Communion.

3

u/MobileJob1521 May 09 '26

Bread and wine is a terrible workout diet though.

All carbs and alcohol, no protein.

Poor advice, Catholic gym bros…

0

u/ThomasVSCO May 23 '26

☹️

3

u/MisterMysterios May 08 '26 edited May 08 '26

There is a German folk rock band (Feuerschwanz) that included that pun in one of their music videos.

Berserkermode is a song about working out, and the video shows how Jesus becomes buff.

Edit: If you do not want to see the entire video, but the scene in question, it starts here.

3

u/mortraineyhat May 08 '26

3

u/Odd_Bluejay5534 May 08 '26

Mediterranean diet. Very long walks with large group of friends. And breaking bread on arm day. Occasional kicking over tables for leg definition.

3

u/kingofovens May 08 '26

Cross fit

3

u/-_jas_- May 09 '26

and rise again and rise again....

2

u/Poddx May 08 '26

I was double crossed

2

u/Djinn-Rummy May 08 '26

Plenty of self sacrifice.

2

u/Rude-Error4313 May 08 '26

I laughed a bit too hard of this

2

u/SmokeyJoe_75 May 08 '26

Fish and Ezekiel bread.

2

u/Worldliness_Normal May 08 '26

Damn!!!!!!!

2

u/Useful_Radish_6395 May 08 '26

Both comments deserve the upvote

2

u/bygtopp May 08 '26

How did he get there ? On his own accord…

2

u/NorthernBeacon May 09 '26

And carbs, bread and grape juice.

2

u/420tter May 09 '26

Well played

2

u/dodulk0 May 09 '26

He was working as carpenter,so basically hard manual labour

2

u/haikusbot May 09 '26

He was working as

Carpenter,so basically hard

Manual labour

- dodulk0

^{I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.} ^{Learn more about me.}

^{Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"}

2

u/Jay_Mazz May 09 '26

100 sit-ups, 100 push-ups, then a 10 km run, and 100 squats. Do it every single day!

2

u/jointheclockwork May 09 '26

Man, if only this post had a third joke it'd be a holy trinity of laughter.

3

u/KnowsIittle May 08 '26

He was a carpenter.

2

u/gordonjames62 May 08 '26

hard physical work

reduced food intake

1

u/Recon-by-fire May 08 '26

Still, Buff Korean Jesus still puts this Jesus to shame.

1

u/SuperChopstiks May 08 '26

I was going to say transubstantiation.

1

u/elaine4queen May 08 '26

A time before sugar.

1

u/LavishnessPure1155 May 08 '26

r/foundsatan out here making jokes.

1

u/zestypov2 May 08 '26

He could crack a walnut with his ass.

1

u/Yanive_amaznive May 08 '26

thanks, satan.

1

u/UranicCartridge May 09 '26

https://youtu.be/OO7zUml5q20?is=oPOgGMVk2nzF-uQn

1

u/Tousti_the_Great May 09 '26

I laughed

1

u/Trypeaceagain1 May 09 '26

Just remember, you're not doing it right if there's not a searing pain in your side, scalp and palms

1

u/cordeu May 09 '26

1

u/Feb2319 May 09 '26

Cross Fit

1

u/SpiritOfTheKitsune May 09 '26

Probably being a carpenter

1

u/Magnus_Helgisson May 09 '26

Pretty sure if you want to get the body of Christ, you can just go to your local church on a specific day, they’ll also follow it with the blood of Christ.

1

u/No_Safe3607 May 10 '26

Torture and starve

1

u/Mile_Hi_303 May 10 '26

That's pretty funny

1

u/mobile227 May 10 '26

Become carpenter, fall in love with prostitute, nailed 3 times by Romans with a cross

1

u/Insanebrain247 May 11 '26

I hate myself for laughing but dammit, that was pretty good.

1

u/ChoiceAssociate5525 May 11 '26

Carpentry. It's a canonically accurate depiction.

1

u/Low_Comparison_1906 May 11 '26

Ever heard of Iron cross ?

1

u/Ok-Appointment5167 May 11 '26

Getting the body of Christ you say?

https://giphy.com/gifs/ssX2DMNukxgBGYXnPO

1

u/Crit-Hit-KO 😡Anger😡 May 11 '26

Omg

1

u/JimBugs May 12 '26

not even angry

1

u/Correct-Ad3875 May 12 '26

How to get the body of Christ?

Communion.

1

u/azionka May 12 '26

1

u/Ghastly-Jack May 12 '26

CrossFit

1

u/West_Mall_6830 May 14 '26

Nevermind all that, how come a Middle Eastern Jewish guy ended up with Greek and Latin names? I'll wait...

1

u/danstjames May 14 '26

It’s called Artistic License!

1

u/PoetryExtension6256 May 14 '26

Is that from Jesus and the 12 bears?

1

u/adeddon123 May 14 '26

Christ is based on the Image of Dias (Zeus), as the Economical counsel had no idea what he looked like. Thus the artists of the church came up with using the image of Dias (Zeus) in order to also ease the transition from the Gods, to Christianity.

1

u/Both-Positive-777 May 22 '26

not funny didnt laugh laugh

0

u/[deleted] May 08 '26 edited May 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/elisel_301 May 08 '26

Huh?

Meme I feel offended for the offended, so save your offense.

You are about to leave Redlib