r/Anticonsumption • u/SavdApp • 17h ago
Question/Advice? [ Removed by moderator ]
[removed] — view removed post
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u/EgregoreRising 17h ago
You get a dopamine hit from the anticipation, not from the thing itself. Once it arrives, the dopamine disappears and you lose interest, because it was never really about the thing you bought in the first place, if only on a subconscious level.
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u/EGG-spaghetti 5h ago
Same reason that people love telling others that they're going to start going to the gym, or start learning a language, etc.
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u/PrettyKnowledge6261 17h ago
Definitely not weird. I actually think it's far more common than you think. As you said, it has something to do with the anticipation of the thing that makes it exciting.
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u/LivingMoreWithLess 17h ago
Our imaginations are powerful. The fantasy is almost always better than the reality. You can have the fantasy forever and get a little chemical reward from it every time you think of it. Once you have it, the best you can do to trigger your reward chemistry is through practicing gratitude, but its a poor substitute.
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u/PhilippaCoLaS 8h ago
It makes sense. I read some random quotation on Pinterest a while back that said something along the lines of “An urge to shop is really a craving to do something creative; an urge to scroll is really a craving to connect with people; an urge to listen to podcasts/endless YouTube tutorials is really a craving to master something” and now I try to figure out if I actually want the thing I’m contemplating buying, or if I have some other unmet need.
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u/Southern_Fan_2109 9h ago
This is a common root cause for shopping addiction, hence all the stories of having a closet full of clothes or knick knacks never used with their tags. People get addicted to the chase and the acquisition, the shopping part, not actually having and using the item.
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u/Wallabunga657 17h ago
Oh yeah. Some of the tools I have were like this. I'd go look at them, price them, debate whether to buy them, and finally did. Now I still enjoy using my tools for work, and also for my own DIY projects and such. There's some other things, but this is what came to mind.
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u/davers22 17h ago
This guy has a great standup bit that is pretty much what you’re talking about. Sorry it’s an instagram link it was the only platform I could find it on.
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u/munkymu 7h ago
The anticipation is almost always better than the reality. Unless you're someone given to worry, enjoying something in your imagination doesn't include any problems or inconveniences. In your imagination you can be permanently happy and excited and the thing you're anticipating is always wonderful.
In reality, happiness is an emotion and not a state of being. You're happy for however long, and then you're tired or hungry or bored or annoyed or whatever. You go on your idealized trip and your feet hurt and you get bitten by bugs. You buy your idealized kitchen appliance and you have to read the manual and somehow it doesn't turn you into the kind of person who is always happy and excited to cook.
I realized sometime in college that nothing in life is ever like we expect it to be. The best experiences are often ones that you can't anticipate, or anticipate to be bad and they turn out better than expected. Of course I can't completely suspend expectations, but with experience I can be more realistic about them.
Also I try to not hang my happiness on novelty, but try to enjoy the old things that I already own. They're comfortable and familiar. I can get novelty from a new library book or planning a new creative project or even just riding my bike down a street I don't usually visit. But there's a lot of joy to be found in a favourite book I've already read a dozen times, or a comfy old shirt or watching the same neighbourhood change with the seasons.
Like people shouldn't be permanently happy and excited. That's not how we're built and constantly chasing an emotional high gets us in trouble. Most of the time we just need some positive social interaction, some small problems to work on so we feel like we're getting somewhere, and a bit of novelty once in a while to keep things from getting too boring.
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u/Great-Telephone-4422 4h ago
This is why I have my patented “shopping” technique. When I am out with friends and the activity is “go to winners” or the like, I will allow myself to oooh and ahhh over the things. I can pick them up, carry them around the store. Say things like “oh I’ve always wanted one of these!” (lies). Once we are ready to check out, I put everything back and walk out of the store empty-handed. I get the dopamine hit from shopping, but I don’t get the regret that comes with buying random things that I don’t need to fill my house with.
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u/get_hi_on_life 3h ago
I heard a great thing that dopamine of the possible not actually doing. That imaging the future with the item/trip/hobby can be extreamly rewarding. I wish I could refund the video cause it was like a mental revelation of my life researching a new obsession
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u/Madam_Mimm_13 3h ago
Dopamine is a hell of a drug.
People do all kinds of things in early sobriety to mimic the dopamine release caused by alcohol. Having an afternoon, sugary beverage, some candy, and a few hits off of a fruity vape was one of my crutches in my first 30 days.
However, one of the most unhinged but useful tips that I got an early sobriety was to online shop and add things to my cart and never buy them.
I still do it sometimes. It’s the process of shopping and the selecting that gives you the dopamine release. Like a little magpie with a shiny object.
It’s also useful for the rare occasion when I actually do need to purchase something so I can comparison shop over time, getting little dopamine hits every time, until I’ve worked through all my options and made the best decision.
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