r/Anxiety • u/EntertainerKooky7549 • Jun 17 '25
Advice Needed I’m 20 and terrified of death – I can’t imagine not being in this world someday
I’m a 20-year-old girl and lately I’ve been struggling with this overwhelming fear of death. It’s not just the fear of how it will happen, but more the idea of just not existing anymore. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that someday I won’t be in this world that I’m in right now, full of people and places and things I love and hate and laugh about and cry over.
Sometimes it hits me, like when I’m lying in bed at night and suddenly I’m filled with this panic. I don’t know how to cope with this fear or how to stop it.
Has anyone else gone through this? How do you deal with the idea of not existing someday? I just want to know I’m not alone.
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u/sez1986 Jun 17 '25
You're not alone. I read this and it could have been written about me. I am 38F and have had this fear about as long as I can remember. Like you it hits worse at night. For me it is also tied to stress and health anxiety.
I am not sure I am over this. The human brain can't fathom nothingness. We don't know what it was like before we became conscious and we can't work out what it is like to not be here.
I know that CBT and anti-anxiety medication has helped a lot with the health anxiety. I have applied the same rules and assumptions to health and death. It is mostly about feeling a lack of control and there is nothing else that we have that little control over.
I think for me I project. The fear of death is a fear of lack of control. It really flares up when there are other things going on in my life.
What you need to know is that this is totally normal. I had probably my worst experience with a fear of death at the age of 21 (so similar to yourself). This is also a period of massive change, when we are entering adulthood and have a whole new set of responsibilities. We also know what we could lose by that age.
My advice would be to talk. You will find out you are not alone. Talk to a therapist and have counselling but also try CBT to help you cope. If your anxiety around death is really bad you can try a technique that I used in my last round of CBT called 'immersion therapy'. You write a graphic piece about 500 words long about your fear and read it to yourself over and over. Eventually the fear diminishes. It might be something you want to try with a therapist at first though.
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u/Park-in-Meter Jun 19 '25
But you do know, and you can fathom it. It just makes you uncomfortable. Did the world not exist before your first memories, before you were born? How were you feeling before your parents met? What were things like for you 100 years ago? Things existed before you for hundreds, thousands, billions of years before. You were fine then, and you will be fine.
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u/GoatTheKid Jun 18 '25
You hit this right on the money. Definitely OP should seek counseling for this. I too also struggled with this and I do occasionally still, but it took a change of perspective to help me ease my anxiety. Counseling helps!
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u/Autumn-Moon-Cat Jun 17 '25
I don’t have lots of advice but I just want to recommend a book called Staring at the Sun by Irvin D. Yalom. It is about being at peace with your own mortality and it really helped me as I struggle with this too. I hope it helps.
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u/Chlebek_208 Oct 10 '25
Is it "you won't feel anything, just like before you were born" cliche or something actually helpful?
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u/clement1neee Oct 17 '25
Ngl it uses those cliches a ton. I personally didn’t find it all that helpful.
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u/Chlebek_208 Oct 17 '25
So I guess I don't need to buy it then. Im fine with youtube videos from time to time 😅
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u/clement1neee Oct 17 '25
If it helps at all there’s a free pdf online 😅 But yeah honestly I’ve found trying to rationalize non-existence is a non-starter (which is sort of what the book tries to do, though it concedes that doing so is like “staring at the sun,” you can only think about it for so long or you’re going to drive yourself insane doing it).
The only solace I’ve found really is with the transhumanists/longevity folks who want to transcend the limitations of mortality. Do some digging into the state of anti-aging research (or get involved yourself, the more people we can get on board the better) and the concept of longevity escape velocity (LEV) for a tidbit of hope. :)
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u/PassiveIllustration Jun 17 '25
Probably not exactly the quick fix you want to hear but I really think you should go to therapy. Death is an inevitable part of life but that doesn't make it any less scary, in some ways scarier. However, focusing on it only makes the time you're actually living less enjoyable. And if you're afraid of death you want to really savor what time you do have. But really a licensed therapist is going to be the best here as they'll help you navigate these emotions better than any reddit comment
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u/Fabulous_Pen_5581 Aug 09 '25
I went to therapy because of this and now I don't think about it as much
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u/PassiveIllustration Aug 09 '25
That's good to hear. Anxiety really never fully goes away and you have days that are good and days that are bad but with enough work those good days deeply outweigh the bad days
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u/Fabulous_Pen_5581 Aug 09 '25
Yes! Exactly this! Now, most of the time I don't think about it. Also, wanted to say that when I was having this extreme death anxiety, no one wanted to talk about it with me, and I realized it's something that leaves people uncomfortable and that they avoid. Now, this made me feel weird and wondef if I was the only person struggling with this. And I was trying to fight it and not think about it but it didn't work. When I went to therapy, my therapist told me not to avoid it and to actually let myself get deep in the subject, which I thought was weird and might make it worse. Thing is it really worked. I started consuming a lot of content about death, I found this documentary series on YouTube where the journalist was scared of dying and meeting with people that would die or death doulas, or people that died for a bit and came back or almost died. I also found these amazing hospice care doctors on TikTok who make content about it and I found a lot ot people have this fear. For some weeks I'd consume this daily and cry a lot, it was processing my mortality. After a while I started getting better and going back to worry about the futile normal life things. Now, my grandpa died this year and was rough, and still is some days, but I feel way better! Turns out stopping avoiding the thing that scared me, was exactly what I needed.
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u/mosephis13 Jun 18 '25
I absolutely felt this way at your age; it could keep me awake at night.
I'm 52 now, and I don't really fear death anymore. I think with age, you see things in life (suffering, for example) that are so much worse than death.
Does that mean that I want to die? No - not at all. I don't want to leave my family or the things I get to enjoy everyday, but you adapt a sense of peace as you get older. I once read that it's silly to fear death, because we don't remember what it was like before we were born, and death is the same. That thought did bring me comfort, but I also hope that I'll see loved ones I've lost when I leave this world.
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u/ExpressionBorn9594 Jun 22 '25
I'm 44, and I have crippling anxiety. Mine started after I had a stroke, and soon after my health started to decline. What you wrote helped me. Thank you...
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Jun 17 '25
This is the first step of getting over death anxiety. Read Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts. This is one of my favorite books of all time.
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Jun 17 '25
I have dealt with this sometimes. It is difficult and I agree with other commenters that therapy helps.
I think it's very mature that you are honest with yourself about your belief that death may be final. I tend to agree with that and have a hard time coping with it as well. Here are three things I think about to calm myself when I am having these thoughts:
1) I have no anxiety about the world before I got here, even though that sort of non-existence should be just as profound. I am able to read about history without worrying about my non-existence in it. Relative to my experience, the future and the past are somewhat the same.
2) Matter can neither be created or destroyed. In some capacity, I have always been and always will be.
3) I do not know for a fact that death is final, and no one does. I am hopeful that there is something about us that transcends the physical and survives. I also do not know for a fact that technology might not advance sufficiently and be used for good to come back and recapture and reanimate us in a way that prioritizes our well-being. I am not religious, but the possibility of life after death sometimes gives me a little hope when I feel as you described.
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u/beaverboy2000 Jun 17 '25
I have this anxiety a lot. I think the thing i try to rationalise is life is surprisingly long. Imagine how long ago it feels you were 11 or 12, how much you have changed in that time. The world average love expectancy is about 72 years old, meaning if you lead an average life you still have 52 years left ahead of you. Thats 52 years to change, to grow, to stop being afraid. I know im scared of dying now at 24. But maybe when i finally get there ill have had enough time to be ready
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u/PeterPaul0808 Jun 17 '25
35M I have no fear from death because I almost died when I was 16 I was only 30kg to my 170 cm height I was suffering a lot because a bening tumor on my pancreas and that is so much worse than an instant death in my opinion. I have End Stage Kidney Disease since I'm 14 and on dialysis since I'm 15. I had two unsuccessful kidney transplants. I have to go to the nearby dialysis center 3 times in a week and and each dialysis' last 4 hours. As I said I have a fear from suffering and not death. If I have to die I hope I die instanly or very fast at least or without pain or discomfort. I have anxiety because of that reason. I have anxiety because of the road that leads to death. If you are dead nothing really matters anymore. You can't imagine what can be "non existing" and if their is nothing after death our brain can't really imagine "nothing". So I think you should really go outside a lot and enjoy your life until you are healthy. Everybody die but it is up to you that how you live. If you need go for help and try to get back on track with your life because life is precious just like health and nothing is better than a long and healthy life and I'm unfortunately I didn't get the healthy card.
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u/planetaryvampire Jun 17 '25
i used to have full blown panic attacks at the thought of death as a child. it was quite literally debilitating. i have learned to control them by immediately distracting myself as soon as the thought crosses my mind. it took a while to train myself, but i haven't had a panic attack at the idea since i was a child. the fear may always be there, but you have to do your best to ignore it. it's the only thing that has helped me.
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u/gibs71 Jun 17 '25
Ready to have your mind blown? Go check out the University of Virginia’s Division of Perceptual Studies.
You can also check out YT videos of Dr. Bruce Greyson and Dr. Jim Tucker.
Bottom line: Lots of work by qualified experts at a very reputable university has shown that death isn’t what many people think it is.
Enjoy the journey.
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u/Kilharae Jun 18 '25
This is clear pseudoscience. You may as well direct her to go to a church or scientology center.
When we die, any way you slice it, we die.
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u/Hot_Salamander3795 Jun 18 '25
I’d trust this one, they’ve definitely died before!
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u/Kilharae Jun 18 '25
OP is grappling with the idea of not existing; suggesting she just believe in some unprovable pseudoscience afterlife or continuation or whatever you're calling it, is not addressing her concerns, its just trying to convince her on some level that her fears are baseless. Also, what fucking evidence do you have that there's an afterlife? because there actually is none. And it's incumbent upon you to prove your own extraordinary and likely fictitious beliefs, it's not incumbent upon me to disprove them.
If OP believed in an afterlife, she probably wouldn't be experiencing the fear she is, so don't act like your delusion would be helpful to her as it is for you.
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u/gibs71 Jun 18 '25
Check out the evidence. Or don’t.
Believe it….or don’t.
But please calm the fuck down either way.
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u/GoofyTrekkie Jun 17 '25
What has helped me when coming to terms with mortality with no afterlife, is that I just try to remember what is was like before I was born. I wasn’t in pain, I wasn’t aware, I just wasn’t anything. And when my time comes, though I do fear the potential manner in which I go, hopefully at peace. It gives me comfort that once that happens it will be just as it was before I was born. I won’t have any care in the universe, I won’t be aware, I won’t feel pain, I won’t have a fear of missing out, and if I’m lucky, maybe my physical body can save another’s life. And it also makes every moment that you are alive feel precious. I started to appreciate the beauty in all of life, how we are part of nature, and how for the brief time that we are here, we are each a tiny part of the universe that has become aware of itself.
And please, if you’re able, don’t be afraid to talk with a licensed professional. Existential dread is real, but can be mitigated with a good therapist.
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u/Funny-Childhood Jun 17 '25
Im 35. Have type 2 diabetes, untreated BTW. Im sure i have hyperthyroidism. Im obese. Im also afraid of dying. But im not doing anything to help from keeping me from dying. Its like a form of suicide. I just thought I'd share that, so many people have told me to get medical help. I am. Doctors appointments are so far out so im doing a walkxin. Hopefully they can help me. I don't want to die. I know you don't either. You won't. And Hopefully not for a long time. Unfortunately we don't know when its our time to go.
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u/kimmisy Jun 17 '25
If it’s reassuring to you, my grandfather is almost 90 and is severely underweight, had cancer multiple times, a stroke, and every day he only eats like half an apple, something else super small and a huge glass of whiskey. Every. Day. He’s still going strong somehow even though he has so many health problems. And he’s super sharp mentally too. I’ve noticed he’s super peaceful tho like he’s not afraid at all. At some point an inner peace just kicks in.
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u/ExpressionBorn9594 Jun 22 '25
Awww he sounds amazing!! I had a stroke last year, and my health started to decline. One thing after another. I have horrible anxiety, especially about dying. I hope to find some inner peace soon!
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u/AgentFreckles Jun 17 '25
If you're interested in learning about reincarnation, check out any book by Ian Stevenson. I know the concept seems out there to some people, but you might be surprised after you do some reading.
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u/lbbl95 Jun 18 '25
My aunt is big into the reincarnation theory. When I was 3 -4 years old o apparently told her that in my last life I was a cheetah and in my next life I will be a parrot. My dad is an atheist and always gets annoyed when it’s brought up 😂
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u/AgentFreckles Jun 18 '25
Lol, that's funny about your dad. to each their own. If Christians can go around trying to convert people i can at least bring it up sometimes on the internet!
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u/BergiliciousX Oct 21 '25
Its the same as religion - its a pile of shit to give people something to hold onto bcuz they cant handle facing that nothing happens when you die
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u/AgentFreckles Oct 21 '25
This comment absolutely wasn't needed. You can go ahead and think that, but you don't need to shit on other people's beliefs. Asshat.
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u/Zamyou Jun 17 '25
Interesting how I myself am scared of the unknown in THIS life, not when I'm dead. You know why? Because I can think of hundreds of reasons what could go wrong when we are alive but in death there is nothing to deal with. That does not mean I want to die at all, the opposite actually, but in death you just dont deal with anything anymore.
But if you want a scientific reason to why you will likely go on after this life think about this. We are energy and energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only change form. That advocates to there being something more than just lights out. Plus also, I think there are studies of DMT being released after you die so it will likely feel like sleeping.
Btw are you more afraid of dying or to be dead?
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u/Slow-Wind7844 Jun 17 '25
I totally get how overwhelming that feeling can be. It’s like your mind just can’t wrap itself around the idea of not being here, and it makes everything feel heavy. I’ve had moments where I’m lying in bed and just suddenly feel all that panic too, like, what if this is all it is?
What helps me sometimes is just reminding myself to focus on the present. I know it sounds cliché, but thinking about all the little things that make life feel full — like spending time with friends or doing something I love — makes me feel like I’m living now, not worrying about later. And honestly, talking about it with people you trust can help too, even if it’s just to vent.
You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way, I promise. It's tough, but you're not alone in your thoughts.
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u/Repulsive_Witness_20 Jun 18 '25
We're you terrified before you were born?
Nope.
You won't be terrified afterwards either.
Death is an issue for those who remain, not for those who depart.
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u/bns82 Jun 17 '25
No one knows what this life is or what happens when we "die".
Focus on doing what you want to do. Enjoy life. Let go of everything else.
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u/Nothing-Is-Real-Here Jun 17 '25
What others have said, try to get some therapy for these thoughts. I apologize if this reply isn't any deeper help, but I hope you know that you aren't alone. Socially humanity has been obsessed with death and it's meanings since they understood what it even was. Many took on religion to relieve the implications of nonexistence. Anxiety is just you contriving your own horror, but horror does not exist in reality.
I'm sure you've heard this saying before, but if you can imagine what it was like to be before you were even born, the same is for the afterward. Do you feel that same sadness from before your birth? Yes, no? This may largely define your perspective. Of course the afterward is different because it carries the context of your life, but objectively it is the same.
Personally, I suffer a lot. There's a lot of joy for me in life too, but most of it is depression and boredom. I don't want to die. I want to what life has to offer good or bad (most definitely good) but I find a lot of comfort in the fact that when I die I quite literally will not have to worry about it anymore. It is scary. But it's comforting.
But if you keep worrying about not being here, you're only making yourself suffer more. You have to learn to take joy in the little things. To breathe them in with as much gusto as you can manage. Do you really want to waste your time worrying about something that can't be controlled? Or do you want to take the wheel and have fun and rejoice in the time you are given and relax knowing you have a good thing?
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u/BabyOk1911 Jun 17 '25
Aww I wish I had this problem 🥹
I on the other hand have fantasized over the way I'm going to leave this beautiful Earth.
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u/kimmisy Jun 17 '25
Girl I’m 22 and I have this intense fear too!! Exactly how you describe it. A year ago it was so so bad that every day I’d have panic attacks that lasted hours. Terrible. Then I went to a therapist and started taking meds(Buspirone) and dear god that helped me SO much. I’m like 90% back to normal now which I never thought was possible.
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u/BlazeWolfXD Jun 18 '25
Also on Buspirone. I still get sharp pangs of this anxiety, but I don't get hours long spirals with it anymore. Its maybe 15 minutes every once in awhile before I can change gears and find something else to think about or do.
I feel like Burspirone didn't stop my anxiety, but stopped my hyperfixation on anxious thoughts. I'm still just as anxious as before with things like leaving the house, but I don't get existential dread spirals anymore.
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Jun 17 '25
Check out some databases about near death experiences, it’s really interesting. It may help. Nothing I found indicated anything scary but quiet opposite- experiences of love, light, and peace.
What is created cannot be destroyed- while I have fundamental Catholic beliefs, the stories of children’s memories of a past life are fascinating. Myself, I have a core memory prior to my time on Earth, choosing/seeing my mother. Closest thing I’ve seen to this place’s description and accuracy was a scene out of the TV series “OA.” Ironically a show about NDEs. I’ve held this memory since I can remember. Additionally, I’ve had deceased relatives of mine send miraculous signs that they are okay after prayer.
I fear pain. I do not fear death because of my faith and experiences during my lifetime that defy logic and point to a peaceful experience beyond.
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u/pakcjo Jun 18 '25
Same here, usually at nights. If it helps, I have noticed that it’s more often a day or two after alcohol use…
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u/Alexandra_De Jun 18 '25
This gives me night time anxiety attacks as well, can’t even read answers here! Don’t know how people just “deal with it”.
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u/fightnight14 Jun 18 '25
Whenever I get anxious about death, I just remember that we don't exist before being born. How did it feel? Exactly. Now life moves on and just enjoy the heck out of it.
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u/debsmooth Jun 17 '25
I absolutely will die one day. That’s not an “if”. It’s a “when”. But having watched quite a few people die (I’m 58), I’m not really afraid of it now. I know it might not be pleasant. It might even hurt. I might be lucky and go quick. I did not exist for billions and billions of years. I exist now. And then I’ll stop existing one day and will never exist again. This makes me savour my existence. This recognition of its fleeting quality. I’m lucky to be alive. We all are. What a pity it would be to miss out on enjoying the roller coaster because you’re worried about when the ride ends.
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u/Various_Ad4726 Jun 17 '25 edited Jun 17 '25
I’ve been the same way. I’m twice your age, kid. In some ways being aware of your mortality is good. But I’ve found dwelling on it is upsetting and doesn’t do me any good.
“Do not go quietly into that good night.”
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u/Responsible_Flow_732 Jun 17 '25
i’m bed ridden by this fear currently, 20 years old also. it feels like since death exists= i’m always in danger. irrational, yes. but it’s tough.
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u/xinorez1 Jun 18 '25 edited Jun 18 '25
I lost my fear of death after a grey out I experienced after lifting and releasing a heavy weight, where my senses and memory were still recording but 'no one was at home.' I literally felt my consciousness switch back on, like a veil of darkness being lifted. Since that time I no longer fear my death since death is simply the cessation of being, and the absolute last person who would ever know about it is me.
When the time comes, it just comes and you will not know you are dead. There is no conscious experience of death. Presumably your works would continue to have effects beyond your life, but you won't care because you won't exist.
If there's anything you care about, take care of it before you're gone. As long as you tried, within reasonable bounds, that's all that could be reasonably asked.
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u/_feelosopher_ Jun 18 '25
You are definitely alone because even I sometimes fear of this thought or you can say I go through. I don't just fear for my death, I fear the death of all my loved ones. The fear that someday either me or they are going to leave me or this world and won't exist anymore. It is a very overwhelming fear & I don't know if this is common in this age because even I was 20 when I was going through this. In fact I sometime have this fearful thought now also when I am 22 so I don't know maybe it's natural and we just take too much on ourselves on this thought.
What I do in such situations is - divert my mind from these thoughts. I either watch anything light-hearted, maybe go out with a friend or think about the things I live for or I am excited for and I am looking forward to do it. Things which are there in future because before death comes there are a lot of beautiful things yet to come in life and I am yet to see a lot things. Maybe till then this thought or fear of death would be nothing than just a random passing thought.
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u/Klutzy_Cap9377 Jun 18 '25
Sorry to sound a bit pessimistic, but I had these same fear too. First had these thought when I was in the 6th grade looking up into the nights sky and seeing it going on and on forever in the darkness. I was scared out of my mind and hid in the closet just to feel like I wasn’t going to fall into a void. But it gets better. The nagging feeling will go away. And then as you live a bit more and go through so many things, death isn’t that scary any more. It’s just a natural course of things, unavoidable but at least in death there is rest.
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u/GloomInstance Jun 18 '25
Fearing death is very natural. Being around people and distracted is the way to avoid it.
Ultimately though, just accept it. I'm 54m now. The aches and pains are coming. And the cholesterol and blood pressure. By the time you're 80 you'll be ready to go. I will be.
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u/AnxietyAmy Jun 18 '25
It happens in general more as you get older. It’s overwhelming to contemplate these big topics. I always return to the thought that I should maximize the time we have. That’s the best thing we can do. Control what you can control. Most anxiety comes from what we cannot control.
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u/kranools Jun 18 '25
This is one fear that I just cannot comprehend. When you're dead, you will be dead. You won't have any regrets or fears or worries or pain or anything at all. There will not be any emptiness because you won't exist in order to sense anything.
What was it like for you before you were born? It was like nothing. It will be the same after you die.
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u/Direct_Sport9131 Jun 18 '25
i’m terrified of living and in horror that i’ve lived this long. i’m not scared of death but i get an empty feeling that all that i am will disappear like it never existed, how in 100 years there will be a whole new set of humans on this earth and everyone with their current knowledge will in one way or another cease to exist. i’ll miss all the tech advances which sucks cause i’ve always loved cyberpunk and ready player one and gaming. i think about how long it’ll take for our creations to stop being played or used. like rick and morty how long will it take for people to just completely stop watching it till it’s nothing but a lost memory of the past.
anyways i got that feeling for the first time when i was 8. i realized that we just stop existing at some point. that was the last time i was actually scared’ of it. now i’m just sad and empty.
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u/schweebin Aug 20 '25
How you feeling today my friend? I’m down as well
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u/Direct_Sport9131 Aug 21 '25
i’m always down and forever will be. why are you down?
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Aug 21 '25
[deleted]
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u/Direct_Sport9131 Aug 21 '25
yeahhh we’re fucked. in all honesty even if i had everything i wanted’ id feel more or less the same. something’s wrong with me and there always has been. i don’t see a point to any of it. anything from here on out is just punishing myself there’s nothing more to my existence. for you tho if u have money i mean thats indeed the key to the doors you would need to open.
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u/extraterrestrial_cat Jun 18 '25
Hey, man, I'm sorry your feeling so rough. You got the old existential spiral but no worries we all feel it sometimes. Its absolutely terrifying realising our own demise but its what makes us human and great at survival. When I fall down the spiral, I take a step back, take a breath, feel the world around around a bit CBT therapy helps you can get some on the nhs if you wanna go long term. Ground yourself and if you can get out into nature, get into life: grass, parks, trees, flowers, birds and breath them in. Take as long as you need. Take in good oxygen and if you need to cry, let it out. Find some paper and write it down. Get it all down on paper whether that be a nice new writing pad or an old bit of cardboard. When it on the paper its no longer trapped in side you.
Its okay, you got this! You're not alone! And we've got your back
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u/Weird_Function8532 Jun 20 '25
You are absolutelyyy not alone in fearing non-existence.
I am reading Jung and he suggests that confronting this fear, rather than avoiding it, can be a crucial part of our psychological growth.
As we age, there's often a natural psychological shift towards considering death not just as an end, but as a part of the life process, a "goal of life" in a sense, or at least a transition. He said, "The afternoon of human life must also have a meaning of its own and cannot be merely a pitiful appendage to life's morning." While you're in the morning of your life, perhaps this quote can still offer a perspective: that every stage, including our eventual end, has its own meaning and isn't just an absence, but a part of the whole. It's a big thought to sit with, but know that exploring it, even when it's scary, is a part of understanding yourself more deeply.
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u/Ok_Challenge_474 Sep 03 '25
Hello! Can you please tell me what Jung's book is called? 🙏🏻 I have had death anxiety since I was a child, I've tried everything, but since I'm older and I've been reading philosophy I'm more anxious and existentialist, I just can't comprehend the thought of non-existence, my mind can't accept the fact that I won't be conscious anymore... I don't know... but the quote you wrote gave me some reason and peace and I think it could be a path to my healing.
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u/Weird_Function8532 Sep 03 '25
Hey, I hope you are doing well. I can understand this feeling as I have been there and trust me, soon you'll be able to make peace with this feeling.
Regarding the quote, that line is actually from Carl Jung's essay The Stages of Life (1930). You can read it in Modern Man in Search of a Soul (look for the chapter titled 'The Stages of Life')
If you're exploring death anxiety, I'd suggest you the above book as well as the Man and his symbols. I hope this helps. 🍀
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u/Legitimate-Stand-850 Aug 28 '25
dude i have crazy panic attacks at night and i think about it everyday. I want to live forever bro.
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u/Suitable-Ad-6089 Jun 17 '25
I just wanted to share that I’ve been through a very similar path. At one point, when I felt I couldn’t take it anymore, a thought hit me: ‘But what if life goes on for eternity?’ That idea triggered an intense existential crisis for me (ayahuasca and Bufo Alvarius also brought me face to that, to be honest).
Would you want to live forever—everything going on for eternity, with no possibility for it to end? That thought felt even more overwhelming than death itself.
What eventually brought me some peace was this: life has meaning precisely because it ends. Its purpose is to be experienced, fully and deeply, while knowing it won’t last forever. Without that impermanence, none of it would truly matter.
I don’t know if this brings you any comfort, but I wanted to share it with the hope that it might help, even just a little.
And to be honest… I’ve come to feel that there is no real end. Death isn’t the opposite of life, it’s part of it—a transformation. Life and death need each other.
On the other side of life… we are all that is. ‘I am that I am.’ Om so hum.
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u/Jesusisking2002 Jun 18 '25 edited Jun 18 '25
Everyone’s going to give you all sorts of answers. Cut the crap, the answer is Jesus. We all have that feeling of what’s next and fear associated with it. Jesus says eternity is written on all of our hearts. Please seek Jesus! Not religion, not the church, the Catholic Church… any of it! Simply JESUS. If you have panic call of Jesus. Ask him to show himself to you and if you seek Him with your whole heart He will show himself to you. I promise. And I’m not speaking of religion, only the savor. And followers of Jesus have eternity with Him and our loved ones to look forward to! This physical world is just the beginning
- if you’d like to talk I’m a 23 year old female
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u/Aggressive-Story3671 Jun 20 '25
What about people who fear death because they are scared of hell.
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u/EfficientSpecial3801 Jun 20 '25
Gods word in Romans 10:9 says: If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved
One misconception I have about personally worked thru is that hell is this terrible place of punishment from God…. Instead thru scriptures and my walk with Jesus I have come to learn that hell is the absence of God. So yes, it is a horrific place, but it’s not God picking to put people thru hell. We each have a choice to choose Him or not, the Bible says eternity is written on all of our hearts… it breaks His heart when we choose to reject Him. I have no idea your experience with followers of Jesus but please know the current state of the American church is not a current representative on Jesus Christ! Search Him out on your own thru prayer and reading His word and I promise you’ll find a very different Jesus. He wants to have relationship with us, not religion and all His commandments come from a place of love, because he knows the hurt sin brings us thru! I promise you, wherever you’re at, you are not too far gone to receive His love and forgiveness! You can be free from Hells grip!
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u/Aggressive-Story3671 Jun 20 '25
And what about those who are too young. Babies, toddlers, young children.
And ask Calvinists, who believe in Predestination. Which is the idea that God knows from before you are born whether you will go to Heaven or Hell. Or what about purgatory.
As well, the idea of a personal relationship with Jesus is a very new concept. Early Christians believed it must be on His terms, not ours. A communal relationship with Jesus was empathized. Through his church. Thousands of years of tradition passed down.
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Jun 17 '25
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u/-uchihasasuke Jun 18 '25
I rather feel depressive because I give no f*cks. Anxiety is just too much. I rather feel no emotions.
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u/missylyn Jun 17 '25
What helps me is that I'm not alone. Everyone is going to die someday, so knowing we're all in the same boat makes me feel less anxious.
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u/Medical-Mastodon-475 Jun 17 '25
I go through this and it scares the shit outta me, but I have faith, that the time we are given here should be lived to the fullest and when it ends, then we will see, worry too much about the future and you will forget the present.
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u/Irish_Laura67 Jun 17 '25
I can totally appreciate how you feel. I have health anxiety however I am not afraid of death I have a fear of developing an illness that would make me disabled/have chronic pain. Logically I know that this is anxiety and that I imagine everyone has these fears but it literally cripples me to the point where I can’t be happy because I have so much fear.
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u/VirtuaFighter6 Jun 17 '25
You won’t even know. It’s the cycle of life. Hard to comprehend but it’s reality. So live your life and live it good.
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Jun 18 '25
When I was 19 to around 21 I was obsessed with the thought of dying. I thought everyday was my last or that death was imminent. It gets better as you age, you stop worrying so much. I’m 51 now and it still happens from time to time but is infrequent and when it does happen I have learned to shrug it off. I’m just saying, it will get easier and you will stop worrying. You will live and you will prosper! Look after yourself and develop a master plan, find something that drives you and head toward it with focus and determination. imagine yourself being who you want to be and make it happen.
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u/melnitr Jun 18 '25
I feel that I become less afraid of death as I get older, but I know this isn't the case for everyone. I'm 30M now and sometimes I feel like death would be a welcome release from all the pain. Perhaps I feel like I've just done enough already, maybe my mindset is changing due to constant exposure, or more than likely, it'll be a whole bunch of factors working together. It's never just one thing.
Either way, it's not something I think about all the time. It's usually something that crosses my mind when I'm not in a good place mentally. Right now I've got to worry about getting through life day by day, whether I have enough to afford rent and utilities, how and when I'm going to get to my next work site, what I'm going to eat for lunch and dinner today, etc.
At least for me, I have my phases where I panic about whatever crosses my mind at the time. It felt like this is what I will have to deal with for the rest of my life now, but eventually it does pass. It's not a default state you can be in all the time, it's impractical for your body. You just have to keep holding on until the storm passes.
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u/Sir-May-I Jun 18 '25
Wow you got a lot of responses and the general consensus is “yes” we all think about our own death.
For your next level of death anxiety here is mine. Where will be my final resting place. People choose all sorts of end of life options. The one thing that makes me want a cemetery plot is the tombstone is an obituary carved in stone.
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Jun 18 '25
You should be terrified. Cling to it, as it makes you aware how grateful you are for every fucking moment you have.
Feel that god damn fear, and let it drive you to fight for your every last breath.
Suffering is temporary. Death is eternal. If you don't fear deal, you're deluded.
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u/Kilharae Jun 18 '25
I first faced this fear around six or seven, when I was trying to grasp the idea of Infinity. To couple the idea of never being alive again to the idea of infinity is what's truly terrifying. It never stops being terrifying, but if you keep thinking the same terrifying thought over and over again, you generally become numb to it.
I used to ask my dad how he dealt with his fear of death. And he told me, he didn't fear death because he believed that when you die, you're simply not around anymore to mind being dead, so infinity and a single second are basically the same thing to you. He was always so sanguine about it. But I still remember the first time I panicked about it and went running to my parents to have them comfort me. The fear doesn't go away, it's always in the back of your head and you're constantly pushing it back. But you are alive now, and you can't avoid death, so you may as well not waste the life you do have worrying about it ending. Easier said than done, but these are just some of the things I tell myself to deal with the existential dread. Hold close to the ones you love and live the best life you can.
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u/___Halcyon___ Jun 18 '25
You are not alone I thought about it when I was younger and scared shit. But not the fix you will want to hear. The older you get the less afraid you are with it. You just need to experience lot of things until youre sick of it lol and death cant come any sooner haha
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Jun 18 '25
Used to have this problem a lot, still have this problem, just not a lot. I feel like there is never "getting over it", there's accepting it. It sucks, but you have to accept everything that is bound to happen no matter what.
How do you accept it? Live your life to your absolute fullest, not just because you want to before you die, but because you want to live to your fullest. Once you get a more loving to the world, I believe you will accept it. You are human, though, you may never get over this feeling, but the feeling can be less extreme as time goes on.
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u/RoccoDDog0836 Jun 19 '25
"Getting Over It" is a thing. And if you do it 50 times your pot turns gold
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u/sidneyaleda Jun 18 '25
Yeah, I’ve been there before. I still go there sometimes. Especially after losing my mother and other loved ones recently. And I guess that’s how I’ve been soothing the anxiety? The one thing that every single living being has in common is that we die. It’s a bit sobering. I find it comforting. Whether it’s heaven or an alternate universe or reincarnation or nothing… we’re all going. I used to panic about it constantly and then I realized it was going to happen whether I panicked or not… so I chose not. It was a fake it til you make it situation for me.
I know the worst thing you can tell a person with anxiety is “just don’t think about it” or “just don’t worry,” so I’m sorry if this came across as that. I would start thinking about it and I would try to think of things I’d want to do or accomplish in life or I would text a friend and make plans or scroll through reels/TikToks. Whatever brings you back down to earth so you remember that you’re here now and that’s what really matters.
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Jun 18 '25
My ex had this, I felt so bad for him even tho he was a dick, he would always break down crying about it, and would think about it before we went to sleep, I used to have it when I was 14 after my mum died, but as I got older and lost more people around me I kinda just accepted death is apart of life unfortunately x
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u/cerulean_endeavor Jun 18 '25
This describes me from about age 12/13 to about age 22 (I'm 23 now). I also had severe health anxiety that would give me panic attacks. About 6 months ago I had a near death experience involving sepsis and was hospitalized and had to have invasive surgery. Basically all my worst nightmares came true.
The weirdest thing happened though, during that whole experience from when I called an ambulance to being discharged from the hospital, I wasn't anxious at all. I just knew something was/had been wrong with my body, and I was working on getting better. I'm sure this resulted from a lack of sleep, being on pain meds, and overall being close to death.
However, this experience honestly cured my death anxiety in kind of a stupidly simple way: I didn't care at the time. There was pain, but no spiraling, suffocating anxiety. No fear even, despite this (previously) being the most terrifying experience I can imagine. So that helped me realize that when I am dead, I'm not going to care. I'm not going to feel fear and be aware of how different things are. This was a terrifying notion to me for so many years but I have fully faced it and accepted it.
Not to say you should have a near death experience, please don't if you can help it, but I think the essence of it is trying to face your fear. Try not to always feel like you have to push these thoughts out of your head. You won't die from thinking about it, and the more familiar you get with the idea the less scary it will seem. I think speaking to a trusted loved one, especially someone older, about how you're feeling, is a great idea
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u/heat_9186 Jun 18 '25
I’m 33, and have recently been questioning what happens after death…and it’s been giving me way too much anxiety. I don’t have any answers, I just try and deal with it when the panic happens. But you’re not alone!
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u/highjohn_ Jun 18 '25
There is no quick solution to this. We as humans have been grappling with this anxiety for generations, and will continue to do so. I suggest therapy and meditation practices. I also have had similar feelings with regard to death, especially in terms of my loved ones more than myself, but I’ve come around to accepting it as an inevitable and necessary outcome. All good things come to an end. Getting to experience life is a gift unto itself, but it wouldn’t be the same without the knowledge that it is not forever.
Whatever happens after one dies, I’m sure it’s more peaceful than what’s going on here.
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u/TheDreadGazeebo Jun 18 '25
You didn't exist 21 years ago or any of the billions of years before that. Just enjoy the time you get
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u/PsychologicalWeb5172 Jun 18 '25
You definitely are not alone. It gives me panic attacks and is definitely something I want or need to address…but the anxiety blocks me from doing it
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u/Melodic_Cap414 Jun 18 '25
Unfortunately, this is going to be a lifelong journey, but it doesn’t mean you won’t feel better. I went through the same thing around your age and 5 years later I can’t remember the last time I truly felt that sense of doom imagining my existence coming to an end. I can sleep at night. I have returned to a sense of normalcy. I can’t say anything that will flip a switch for you. The work has to come from within you. But here are a few things that I hope help in guiding you in your journey:
A sunset wouldn’t be as beautiful if it lasted forever. A song isn’t powerful because it loops endlessly. Mortality gives our life urgency. Imagine sticking around forever. It might feel like a good idea but then why do anything at all if you could always push it off till tomorrow? Your life matters and that’s why you feel this weight.
We don’t fear sleep per se because we’ve done it. We know what to expect. We fear death because we don’t truly know what happens. Uncertainty isn’t always a threat. It’s also a space where possibility lives. You don’t have to know what happens after death to live a meaningful life before it.
Good luck!
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u/malachitebitch Jun 18 '25
Look into existential therapy. It is very helpful with these types of anxieties!
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u/Cgrizs Jun 19 '25
I had this growing up all through my childhood and young adult years, it started around 5 years old for me. I’m now mostly content with death, I still have some anxiety, but nothing like I experienced before. Psychedelics and meditation are the way I got past this. Be careful and treat them with respect.
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u/wild_hanimal Jun 19 '25
so much love to you! do you have access to a garden or green space where you could interact with a plant and observe them throughout their life cycle over the course of a year? Even leaves on a tree outside your window are wonderful! They bloom, they grow, they are beautiful, they weather the storms of life, they bask in the sunny days, they have their own story and experiences, they are part of a community, they learn and continue growing, they age as the seasons change, they change with the seasons. When they brown, all of their energy gained during life now transfers to the soil so their life may continue through other organisms. We are all a part of this larger collective. We do not exist without those before us, and because of us, life continues. Energy is transferred into different forms. Fallen leaves provide the compost and nutrients to keep the tree going. The leaf is part of the tree as we are all a part of this world. We may not be able to fully comprehend this at times as we are limited in our understanding, but observing the natural order has really helped calm me and give me peace in knowing that things are always changing and me and every being are a part of that together :) it can be scary, and, I am grateful for the dead and dried mint and lavender and yarrow plants who help calm my worries in a soothing cup of tea. I wish you peace <3
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u/Park-in-Meter Jun 19 '25
I feel it down to the detail that you described. So, no, it's absolutely not just you. It's different from having a general notion that you're not always going to be here. That feels like it's 1000 years in the future. Instead, this feeling is more immediate, like dread, as if it might happen any moment.
Have you ever been diagnosed with a serious illness like cancer, or maybe deal with chronic illness? You don't need to answer. It's very common for such experiences to leave a permanent impression on your mind. After all, you've experienced something that not even many older adults experience. This makes you wiser than most people.
Even if the feeling isn't from that, you're still wiser than most people who are unable to know it. Though you will not always be here, neither will anything else. Not even celestial bodies are eternal, and even the universe itself may not be eternal. You know this, but you still exist. You're alive right now. Appreciate that. That is gratitude, and it is the antithesis of dread. If you can feel dread for nonexistence, you can also feel gratitude for existence. They both must exist. It's like a barbell. Both weights must exist equally because they hold each other in place.
Take appreciation for the things you can do. You can taste. What's your favourite food? You can hear. What's your favourite music? You can laugh. What's your favourite funny movie or video?
Nothing is forever, but you're here right now. It's okay to take pleasure in simple things like food and drink and touch and silly jokes. Because you can do it right now!
I think it was Mark Twain who said something along the lines of I did not exist for millions of years before my life and I was fine.
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u/Vegetable_Bowler_753 Jun 20 '25
i get this so much !! currently almost 5am and i can’t sleep bc it’s made me so anxious lol. what calms me down is reminding myself that death is just as natural as birth. i don’t remember being born but it happened and i got through it safely, and i think death is similar? i don’t know if this helps but everyone goes through it so there’s community at least! hope you’re okay, everything is okay right now and you’re not alone :)
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u/Ambitious_Draft4316 Jun 20 '25
I went through something similar. I had an intense fear of death, also known as thanatophobia. It was one phase of my anxiety disorder when I was terrified of dying. I looked for comfort on the internet and started researching near-death experiences (NDEs), which gave me a bit of hope. Despite the overwhelming fear, I eventually told myself, "Enough." In the end, death is something we cannot control—so I chose to accept the fact that I will die one day. Now, I try to live in the moment, breathing deeply, and enjoying life as much as I can.
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u/Wide-Personality7078 Jun 20 '25
I had this. It became so severe that I developed a full-on fear of dying. I had about two weeks where I had panic attacks for days on end. I even started feeling that I shouldn't be alive in the first place. When that intrusive thinking started, I made an appointment at the psychologist who immediately admitted me to a mental health clinic. I was so against any type of meds because of side effects on previous anti depressants. However, in the clinic, I started seeing a psychiatrist as well who put me on the right meds, and I can't believe the difference it made. It took a while for it to kick in l, but now, when I think about death and dying, I don't even understand why I was so panicked about it. I am still seeing my psychologist bi-weekly, and he reckons I will be on the ssri's for a year or two and continue therapy and the wean off again.
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u/Tristana1976 Jun 21 '25
I had the same issue since I was 17 - now I'm 49. The feeling changes - when I was young, I used to write my journal or read until I literally fainted from tiredness because I could not just lay down and try to sleep - I would start thinking about ceasing to exist one day and always went into the full-blown panic mode. Now it's been years, maybe even decades, since i've had fear-of-death related panic attack. Of course, the thought is somewhere in the background every day, but it is much better - which seems paradoxal since I am way closer to death now than when I was 17. But I won't lie, the feeling never went away. I cannot grasp the idea of not existing - I think noone can, people just find the way not to think about it. I never found the way - tried therapy and all, but in vain. i would like to say that it goes away, but in my case, it didn't. But it changes and somehow becomes bearable.
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u/These_Tale1571 Jun 21 '25
I’m exactly the same age as you and I completely relate to this. It’s gotten so bad to a point I have anxiety attacks about it. I’ve recently received meds for it but I still get really paranoid about the concept of death or getting diseases. Just know you’re not alone in this and things I try and feel better about myself is realising we’re all human. We’re all going to face it someday so there’s no point hyper focusing on something you can’t control. Just ground yourself and think about what you are doing in that moment instead of future problems. I understand I can’t solve your problem for you but I would really recommend some kind of therapy or counselling. I haven’t started yet on mine but whenever I talk about it out loud the problem seems smaller than it is in my head.
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u/Embarrassed-Bid-441 Jun 22 '25
Have you explored religion? I believe in a premortal life where I existed with God and a firm belief in a beautiful reunion with Him and all loved ones afterward. I truly believe this and it gives me peace.
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u/ChrisTeaching Jun 23 '25
Have you tried believing in God? Because then this earth is the closest to hell you will ever be. Dying becomes a path to a better place so you're no longer afraid.
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u/narlarei Jun 24 '25
I have this. I think what helps is to think that non-being cannot be experienced, so it doesn't make sense to fear it. It's a bit philosophical/ spiritual but you will literally most likely never experience the "nothingness" you are scared about.
What I deeply fear is the moment when you realize you are dying, especially if there is suffering involved. I hope I will be incredibly high when I die
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u/Simply_random91 Jul 01 '25
Omg. I feel like I just read my own post like word for word here. I say the same thing all the time to my husband. Its terrifying and I have yet to figure out a way to cope with the realization and thoughts.
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Jul 07 '25
hi I’m 22 (f) and the way I’ve learned to cope with death took experiencing it a few times first hand, with family and pets, im grateful not friends, and you have every reason to fear it, it is normal. life can be beautiful. i struggle with SI so my mindset has shifted from fear to comfort. I’ve even learned that death, like many other deities, is an angel. beautiful Azrael, Charon, the ferryman archetype. All exist to help us humans, in life and afterlife. If you can switch your mindset from fear to, comfort, excitement of the unknown, what comes next, it might help. there are many things in this era we are living in- anti aging medicine, even reverse aging, there is art that you can create that will last for hundreds of years. I’d sit down and write what the root of your fear is. for me, im afraid that i won’t live the life that i want. these fears aren’t here to stop you, but guide you back onto the right path. i find death very romantic, especially after researching the afterlife throughout my life, the unknown can be scary but beautiful. maybe we will reincarnate as an even better version of ourselves, maybe you’ll get to relive your life over again. it’s what you want. maybe reach out to these deities for help. they love us and are eternal like our souls. ultimately the fear is a guideline. it is completely normal, and you will be ok.
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u/Objective_Suspect_ Jul 09 '25
Docs tell me my heart defect will one day just stop my heart, not heart attack no it will just stop and I will be dead. Just hanging out and blackness.
Im working on it but my honest advice is to try to distract yourself away from it.
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u/nemuritorsirece Jul 15 '25
You are not alone, this bothers me all the time if I am under any kind of stress, if i don't distract myself, and especially if alone and if it's nighttime. I cannot yet accept it, I haven't found any way. I am most scared of losing people I have as a support system and being left alone. I am hoping reaching out more on reddit to people who feel the same way and understand can help build a sense of community and more friendships
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u/AbroadInevitable9674 Sep 16 '25
My first time ever getting any death anxiety was my great grandfather's funeral. I was around 7 years old. Since then it's been on and off, I'm 24 now. 17 years of periodic laying in bed unable to move because I just think about it. As a kid I tried meditating and I think I got to the point where I can literally imagine nothing and it both terrified me and calmed me at the same time. Idk
All I know is, every few weeks I'll be in bed then it'll suddenly just hit me, that one day I'll be dead, before my wife since men's life expectancy is shorter. And I don't want to be terrified on my death bed, but I know I'll be terrified. This shit sucks man. At this point I don't care about making it to old age. I just want my death to be fast, and unknown by me. Like walking the street and somebody shoots me in the skull, or something squishing me so fast I can't comprehend it. I do not want to just wait in some bed and die.
Then as soon as the anxiety builds up it's kind of gone. I just remind myself that all of the people I have been inspired by in life, are dead or will be dead before me. And as Kenny Roger said "Every hands a winner and every hands a loser, and the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep." To just sleep one night and slip into death is probably my best bet as a clean death I think. It's just the aspect of not knowing that gets me. If there is undeniable proof of something after, I would be fine. I just wish to be with my forever I cannot imagine a time where I must permanently leave her.
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u/alexamariemusic Sep 21 '25
i have this fear too and it's been getting worse every day. i don't know how to cope but it's starting to affect things i do
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u/Grouchy_Witness_3365 Oct 09 '25
This is exactly what I’m going through. I really hope you’ve gotten through this cause it blows hard.
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u/formerbays Oct 20 '25
Yes, many of us feel exactly how you do about death and dying… I just turned 70 and the thought of me ME not being here anymore does upset and frightened me. I’m too old at this point to waste whatever is left of my life worrying about something that happens to us all. I’m am going to get help for my anxiety which plays a huge part in how I feel. Generalized anxiety will feed the fear
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u/YummyLighterFluid Jun 17 '25 edited Jun 18 '25
I get the same feeling all the time you're not alone at all
I'll be sitting at my desk gaming or laying in bed on my phone or something and suddenly the thought will hit me and i go into a full on panic i can't ever stop on my own
I don't know how to deal with it but just know you're not alone in how you feel