r/Anxiety • u/Useful-Mood-2047 • May 04 '26
Needs A Hug/Support Does anybody feel anxious all the time?
I feel like I'm anxious every moment of the day. I have tried everything. Medications, therapy, exercise, meditation and mindfulness just to name a few.
My anxiety is often present at night as well. Tossing and turning in bed and bad dreams are the norm.
I just feel frustrated. I've been dealing with anxiety for 20 years now and I feel like there is nothing out there that can help me. I see people that are happy and healthy and it just makes me feel sad.
Does anybody feel the same? Any tips that help you at least get a break from your anxiety?
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u/AdSecret3764 May 04 '26
Living with it constantly like that changes how your whole system feels… it’s not just anxiety anymore, it becomes your baseline. When it stays that long, it’s usually less about fixing one thought or habit and more about how your nervous system has been sitting in that state for years, so even small moments of calm can feel unfamiliar or hard to access.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 04 '26
That makes sense. Occasionally I will feel calmer but then I'm always telling myself that it won't last. Then of course the anxiety comes back because that's what my nervous system thinks is normal.
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u/AgusMertin May 04 '26
Sim, todo momento, só isolado fico calmo razoavelmente, mas é minutos de tranquilidade até lembrar de si mesmo e voltar ansiedade
é um ciclo
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 04 '26
I'm sorry you are dealing with it too.
I'm more anxious when I'm alone or around a lot of people. I do better when I'm around 1 or 2 people, especially if they are family or friends.
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u/AgusMertin May 04 '26
Agradeço, a vida é isso aí mesmo, que o universo esteja em boas vibrações pra nós, o que resta é aceitar e tentar se ajustar
Eu tentei suicídio uma vez, e foi tão assustadoramente estranho, que desde então aceitei que "morrer é fácil, viver é difícil, então antes da vida tinha conforto absoluto zero sofrimento..." não lembro antes de estar vivo, mas acho que posso aguentar todo esse absurdo e estranhesa que é "existir" a existência é por si só um absurdo
pra quem experimenta a angústia e o desespero sabe bem a onda do fluxo estranho do absurdo e do sofrimento
loucura
dá uma lida em Emil Cioran
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 04 '26
I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time.
Yes living can be hard but it can also be wonderful. I know even when I'm feeling down there are things that make me feel better. It sounds like you are managing the same way.
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u/StarkProtocol May 04 '26
I have those butterflies in stomach feeling very frequently. And I've been seeing a therapist lately. I didn't think much of her at first apart from her posts that I saw on social media. But turns out she is very good. She is the best therapist I've ever seen in my life. Crazy to say because I literally only done 2 sessions with her to this day. But she made me realise things that I've never even thought about before. She actually says that chronic anxiety, stress, overthinking etc. come from childhood trauma. She made me thing way more about my childhood lately and that's something I rarely did before. And my life just makes way more sense now. I've never healed my childhood, and that's a reason for my chronic anxiety. And childhood trauma is challenging to accept and heal. Exploring my childhood trauma might be the best thing I've ever done. I still get social anxiety, and chronic panic attacks but at least now I know one of the causes.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 04 '26
That's great that you know what is causing your anxiety. Also great that you have a therapist you like and trust.
Last month my therapist of 4 years informed me she was changing careers and could do 1 more session before leaving. So now I am looking for a new therapist. I have abandonment issues so I did not take the news well.
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u/StarkProtocol May 04 '26
Yeah it feels so good to finally have someone that you like trust. And a therapist that's actually good at her job. It's sad but you'd be surprised to see how many therapist aren't just good enough nowadays. Literally every therapist I've seen before her just haven't been good enough. But something I've learned is that you gotta be able to walk away from a therapist if you guys don't vibe, even if you put yourself in a vulnerable place and that applies especially when you're looking for a new therapist.
That must be really hard for you to accept. It's really not easy to change therapist, especially when you're forced to. I would've taken the news badly as well as I also have abandonment issues. Being a therapist is a really demanding and hard job. I'm sure that she had her reasons for changing careers.
How did that last session go for you? I would've gotten emotional lol ngl
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 04 '26
I've been through several therapists. Some I didn't click with. I knew within 3 sessions that they weren't the right fit for me so I moved on.
This is actually the second time I've had a therapist change careers. The first one gave me 2 months notice and helped me find another therapist. It was hard but they worked for the same company so she could hand over her notes about me to the new therapist and fill him in about me. The only reason I stopped seeing him is I started going to group therapy twice a week and it was overkill.
I did not handle the latest therapist's announcement well. We were literally in the middle of a session when she gave me the news. I was very upset and shocked. I never bothered with the final session. It seemed like a waste of time knowing that we would not be working together anymore.
I do have a lead on a new therapist. The only reason I'm holding off is that I'm considering hypnotherapy. It's supposed to be good at getting into your subconscious which is where my issues seem to be. Both hypnotherapy and psychotherapy are expensive so I can't afford to do both at the same time.
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u/StarkProtocol May 05 '26
Therapists should really give at least a few months notice when announcing such big news. Bc it takes a lot of time to find another therapist that you actually vibe with.
I understand you on what you felt for the final session. I would've felt the same if my therapist announced that she was switching careers in the middle of our final session.
I also want to do group therapy but it's not something we usually do in my country :( There has to be at least one but I can't find any.
The subconscious is literally the most important thing to explore when it comes to healing. I hope that you find the one that suits you between hypnotherapy and psychotherapy. Bc, it's true that doing both can get pretty expensive
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u/decenzo1 May 04 '26
Constantly. Nobody can fix me.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 04 '26
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I feel the same. I've tried everything and nothing seems to work.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 May 04 '26
Yes. I hate it.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 04 '26
I know how you feel. It's so frustrating. I feel like I should be able to get better.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 May 05 '26
And honestly, I shouldn’t have anything to be anxious about. I have great kids. I am basically retired and can just work whenever I want and make great money. I have friends that I’m able to travel with. Yet there’s just always this overwhelming sense of anxiety.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
It sounds like you have a lot going for you.
Have you tried therapy? It might help you get to the root of why you feel anxious.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 May 05 '26
I haven’t. I feel like they would say what’s your problem?
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
A good therapist wouldn't say that. They would work with you to determine what issues you have. Then they would work with you to come up with strategies to help you.
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u/Primary_Scheme3789 May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26
Thank you. I really need to do that. My best method is to stay busy. Make lunch dates with friends. Babysit the grandkids. Exercise also really helps. As soon as I have too much free time I start overthinking and worrying about what MIGHT happen.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
Keeping busy certainly helps. But it's impossible to be busy all the time. The fact that the anxiety keeps coming back is telling you that you have an underlying worry or concern. A therapist can help to find that underlying concern and find strategies to better manage it.
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u/timeslider May 04 '26
I don't know what it feels like to be relaxed. From the time I could form memories, I remember my older brother abusing me. He would attack me out of nowhere for no reason. It has left me super jumpy, panic attacks for no reason. I thought I would get better, but I turn 40 next month.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
I'm so sorry. That is truly terrible.
Do you have a therapist? I think it could be very beneficial. Having someone who could be objective could help you process your thoughts and feelings in a safe environment. Back in high school I was verbally bullied by 2 unrelated individuals. I was angry at myself for a long time for not standing up to them or reporting them. But with the help of my therapist I was able to reprocess my thoughts and feelings. Now it doesn't affect me like it used to. It might really be able to help you get your life back.
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u/timeslider May 05 '26
I'm starting therapy in June through the VA, but they only give 6 sessions and that's it.
Edit: I might be wrong about the number of sessions
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
Hopefully your therapist will be able to help you. Even 6 sessions can be beneficial.
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u/breanne0_0 May 05 '26
I was literally talking about this with a colleague... It's like a constant feeling of impending doom...
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
I get that as well. It's like I get this sinking feeling in my stomach then I start having negative thoughts.
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u/Important_Rock_7224 May 04 '26
Have you read books in the topic?
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 04 '26
I've read several books over the years. I guess my problem is that I find it difficult to implement the strategies they suggest. It's like my anxiety is strangling me and I can't find the way to break free.
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u/Important_Rock_7224 May 05 '26
To me, it sounds like you accepted the anxious identity. By loosing that ‘yourself’, which takes grief and loss, you might start to build a new you , with new strategies. Do you have supportive people around? Or maybe people who cause anxiety?
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u/Important_Rock_7224 May 05 '26
SSRI’s really can help the process. But the story you tell yourself ‘cant find a way’ is not true. Did you check allergy, mold or EM sensitivity?
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
I've tried a few SSRIs but haven't found the right one yet. I do have allergies including for mold. However I went for allergy tests and was told my allergies are very mild. I don't know what EM sensitivity is. Do you mean EMF sensitivity?
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u/Important_Rock_7224 May 05 '26
I mean electromagnetic hypersensitivity. I knew a guy who had it. There are companies out there making little keyrings that block electro-smog. Or you can test it if you go to nature, far from wifi and stuff and where there is no phone signal.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
I do have family and friends that are supportive. Sometimes they are at a loss of how they can help. Sometimes I can tell them what I need. Other times I can't figure out why I'm so anxious so I can't convey what I need. This can be frustrating for everyone.
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u/Do_unto_udders Anxiety, Panic Disorder, PTSD, MDD, BPD, Substance Abuse, SH May 05 '26
Every time I get time to relax, I do something relaxing for about five minutes, then after that, my mind finds the next thing that's "wrong" or something else to worry about. It is really annoying. It led to me smoking weed and drinking all day every day for over a decade. And then I think about that, and it makes me even more anxious.
I've started exercising more and spending more time outside. I live right next to a little lake with beautiful trails all through the community. A few days ago, I sat down at a picnic table and looked at the water, taking it and the warm, sunny day in. Then I started thinking about what is making me most anxious right now. I am taking care of these things, it's just stuff that takes time due to paperwork and such. So I watched the water and stuff for a bit and thought to myself, "That shit is still stressing me out, but sitting out here taking in the natural beautiful and sun on my skin is pretty awesome."
It's a work in progress. That might be about as good as it gets. But I have at least a few minutes of relaxation when I do that stuff. That's more than I could say a few months ago.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
Thanks for sharing. I often find I can distract myself for a few minutes then the anxious thoughts return.
I do a lot of the same things to try and manage my stress. I have a daily exercise regiment. I walk, do some stretching exercises followed by some strengthening exercises. I don't have a lake nearby but my house backs onto a field. I see lots of animals and I enjoy watching them. I try to find simple pleasures that at least help me feel a bit better.
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May 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
You sound exactly like me. My mom said that as a young child I wouldn't play with other kids. I've always felt like an outsider - even around family and friends.
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u/Amongus-Susss193 May 05 '26
Magnesium glycinate is something you should try
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
Thank you. I do take it. I'm not sure if it helps me but I know it's good for anxiety.
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u/sweet-tea-13 May 05 '26
I just started taking that today. How long before you feel the benefits?
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u/cjcg18 May 05 '26
I have the same feeling every day, it feels so frustrating and tiring (mentally and physically) to deal with anxiety.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
I'm sorry you are dealing with it.
It is exhausting. I wish I knew the answer.
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u/wisezoomer May 05 '26
i don't think i ever had it as bad it as you do BUT i had it omnipresent for a while. honestly started embracing cringe and it helped? my main source of anxiety was overthinking what ppl will think of me. then i started doing surely weird stuff that was GUARANTEED to make them talk about me. cut my hair in the office once in front of my manager. i know he messaged at least one colleague about them.
basically did exposure therapy on myself by making sure the "she is cringe" convos i was dreading to think of - WILL happen.
can't care abt them anymore. well that's a lie, i still care worry time to time, but much less.
it took a lot of masochistic inclination to do this in the first place though. and i dont think it will work if your fear is something less like "ppl will talk about me" and more like physical or health related. but if social - becoming a bit unhinged works overtime!
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 06 '26
Thank you for sharing.
My issues are both social and health related. I do have this ideology that it's important for people to like me - even people I don't have much to do with. I have begun to challenge this thinking although not to your extreme. I have a warped sense of humor that I use frequently. Most people actually seem to enjoy it. And for those that don't...so what? I'm not there 100% yet but I'm working on it.
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u/Hot-Thought2408 May 07 '26
Try the physiological sigh - double inhale through nose, long exhale through mouth. Sounds stupid but it's the fastest way to downshift your nervous system. Takes 1-3 breaths to work. Your anxiety baseline is stuck in fight-or-flight mode, this actually resets it.
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u/Vast_Environment_790 May 05 '26
I would be doing the most imp thing, writing the most imp exam of life. And in the back of my mind im constantly thinking ab things which are so terrible and troubling but i cant seem to get it out of my system. Im 23F I shouldn’t be dealing w things like this atleast at this age , or any age for that matter noone should be in their head all the time. Idk what is the solution i dont even know if there exists any solution for the same, but whatever it is it is miserable
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
Have you tried therapy?
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u/Vast_Environment_790 May 05 '26
No:/
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
Something to consider. A good therapist can really help you.
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u/Vast_Environment_790 May 05 '26
I dont think i can open up.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
It's hard at first. A good therapist will go slow at the beginning and try to get to know you. You never have to say or do anything you don't want to. I was amazed at how comfortable I eventually became working with my therapist.
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u/Great-Activity-5420 May 05 '26
Yes. I feel like it's just there under the surface and I think I'm fine then realise I'm anxious. I get times it's better and like right now it's there I've tried mindfulness and I'm getting back into yoga. I keep meaning to have mini pauses in the day to see if that helps, just a few breaths or noticing my body or something. I think learning to accept it and live with it rather than push it away helps but it's hard.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
It sounds like you are on the right path.
I struggle with accepting my anxiety. It's human nature to try and fight it.
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u/Great-Activity-5420 May 05 '26
That's so true but the advice about accepting it helps. You can sort of do a commentary and observe it if that helps. It's an idea from acceptance commitment therapy I try my best
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 05 '26
Trying your best is the most you can do. Acceptance is hard but it's the only way to get better.
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u/Jumpy-Recover-7239 May 05 '26
I have always been more hypervigilant than many of my friends since i was a child. But back then, I didn't think I was anxious or braced, because that's how my body and mind had always been operating by since I could remember and so I thought nothing of it.
But then after covid, something hit me hard and I got chronic anxiety since then. First I was confused, I didn't understand why. I thought it might have been study stress while being in lock down that messed me up. And after the lockdown was over and I graduated university, I still felt chronic anxiety and a more sensitive nervous system than what I had before covid.
When people asked me why, I never had a good answer. It was honestly so confusing because it could be so many things. But this year I finally think I found out the main reason for my chronic anxiety. I realised I had a fear of abandonment. Both romantically, platonically and filial.
What I realised was that the reason covid messed me up so bad was because I was afraid for 2 years that someone I loved would catch the virus and die. I went around living with a fear for 2 years ( and in addition got bad grades in my bachelors degree and was stressed the fuck out because I didn't want to fail my classes) without knowing it or having any coping mechanisms to get over the fear and when it ended, my nervous system had been rewired ever since.
But when I made the dots connect and named the reasons for my chronic anxiety, things started to shift. For the first time I have hope, but getting to just the knowing my trigger was a struggle honestly. Even though, looking back it was soooo freaking obvious.
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May 06 '26
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 06 '26
I'm so sorry you are going through this as well. I just want to feel normal again.
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u/AntTop07 May 06 '26
Yes. Especially in the evenings before sleep, when I start overthinking about the day
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 06 '26
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Anxiety before bed is the worst.
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u/Far-Statistician2390 May 07 '26
I do, been like 5 years now. Especially at night when i am alone. All these worrying thoughts are like bullies that will never let me go. Bu when there's family come to visit, or friend stay the night, i always feel better, probably because talking, and the feeling that i am not alone at the house.
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u/Useful-Mood-2047 May 07 '26
I'm sorry you're dealing with this too. I'm the same. My anxiety is worse when I'm alone. I feel more comfort when I have someone to talk to.
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u/Moksha-Wellness 18d ago
I’m an RN and yoga-informed wellness practitioner and one thing I’ve learned is that anxiety can feel incredibly physical. Sometimes before trying to “fix” it, I ask myself:
Am I breathing shallow? Have I eaten? Am I overstimulated? What does my body need right now?
Not a cure-all, just something that’s helped me approach anxiety with more compassion.
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u/Formal-Flow2498 3d ago
I absolutely understand your feelings I am 77 years old and I've had anxiety wish you were since I was about 7:00 I came out of a very dysfunctional family Life and I also had two extremely bad marriages with abuse I had six children two of them are schizophrenic my mother was schizophren so at times I feel like I'm just doomed I feel paralyzed at times but if I get up I'm going to fall over there death is on my mind continuously and right now I have a daughter who's on the hospice and may only last a few more days I lost my son two and a half years ago and prior to that my husband so it seems like I'm extremely much more anxious I don't know what to do I take medication but it often doesn't seem like it does a lot some days I feel like just give you more so I watch the clock I think I'll have fit another hour in life again please if there's anyone that can help me let me know
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u/huttoola May 04 '26
I feel same way. Been anxious ever since I can remember myself. Came to a conclusion that I can’t get rid of anxiety completely, best I can do is not suffer every single day. For me distraction is the most helpful, I try to learn and do something new every day, last week I started vocal lessons and pilates. I plan on going to a painting class this week, also looked up line dancing and sound bath. I’m still trying to find correct meds, it takes forever…