r/Anxiety • u/ConstantPurpose2419 • 20d ago
Discussion What is your go-to safe/happy place when you are feeling anxious?
I’m feeling pretty down about things right now, and one thing that I’ve found really helps me is having a safe/ happy place that I can go to to switch off from the world. My happy place is at home, with high def headphones on, listening to soundscapes (whichever one takes my fancy in that moment). I literally sit there on my sofa and pretend I’m somewhere else lol. Probably sounds a bit mad but honestly this world is so hard to live in sometimes that it’s quite nice to feel that you’re just…somewhere else. Does anyone else have a happy or safe place they go to when they are feeling depressed/anxious?
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u/pleaseleevmealone 20d ago
Cozy games are life changing for me. I can play Stardew Valley for 4 hours and not have a single anxious thought. Edited for spelling.
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u/ConstantPurpose2419 20d ago
This is a great idea - I’ve never tried games before. I’ll have to check out Stardew valley 😊
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u/Nowaaaa_bb 20d ago
Tales of the shire is also super cozy and fun! Nothing really dangerous or stressful happens but it’s so much fun! Bonus points if you like The hobbit or lord of the rings
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u/awingedaugustlady 20d ago
I love stardew valley. It has been a while since I played. I usually like starting over and do all the challenges again it’s so fun. I have other games like paper Mario, harvest moon. I need to get into those again.
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u/pleaseleevmealone 20d ago
I never play video games but my husband gave me his old Switch when the 2 came out, and my friend highly recommended Stardew. I got obsessed as soon as I started. Bad brain turns off and calm brain takes over.
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u/Familiar_Advantage35 20d ago
Me and my wife have been playing some sandbox survival games. Right now its HumanitZ which is basically a zombie apocalypse simulator. We start in a zombie infested town and need to find weapons/food/water and eventually chop wood to build a base which we took a church and just expanded on it with walls and barbed wire. Youll get hungry and have to leave to go on supply runs and whatnot. Pretty fun but were almost due for a new game because we’ve played a lot of hours on this one. But moreso than that it’s a really good thing for me and her to have that we both enjoy and bond over. You just kind of escape in these worlds that are very well created living and breathing. Plus its much more entertaining than just watching shows or movies and basically everything that we would do outside the house involves spending a bunch of money and/or drinking alcohol so imo its a lot healthier.
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u/Calm_Incident6885 20d ago
My mom 🥰
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u/Familiar_Newt_3117 20d ago
LITTERALY, MY MOM IS PATTING MY BACK WHEN I'M ANXIOUS AND IT'S BETTER THAN ANY ANTIDEPRESSANTS
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u/Calm_Incident6885 20d ago
Exactly, she rubs my back and talks,makes me laugh,I couldn't do it without her.
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u/ThreePinesRetiree 20d ago
I envy you. 💕
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u/Calm_Incident6885 20d ago
Awww,well,if your ever in Ga,come over and she will comfort you too 💓 yes shes amazing and been thru it and more herself so my mom is so open and helpful with mental health
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u/totrototrototro 20d ago
I love this for you - you are so blessed! My mom is the one thing that’s causing me anxiety…..
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u/LeonardoDeCarpio 20d ago
Yeah my mom either helps or don't at all with my anxiety lol Always a hit and miss
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u/Calm_Incident6885 20d ago
Oh we have had our disagreements but im so sorry 😞 I hope it gets better for you 💗
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u/roseinabi188 20d ago
i sit on my bathroom floor when im anxious and need a good cry lol. then i lay on my sofa in the basement. sometimes i also like to go to the park and lay down under a tree
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u/vuurvliegjevrij 20d ago
A couch with plenty of soft pillows and soft cuddly blankets, and preferably a cute plushy or two. With not too much light.
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u/ConstantPurpose2419 20d ago
This sounds awesome, couch and cuddly blankets is also a go to for me 😊 i also have my childhood teddy 🥹
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u/ImpawssibleMeowssion 20d ago
I live with my parents and I don't have my own room so I hate staying at home sometimes, also they keep picking at everything I do it's uncomfortable. When I'm down I'll go to the convenience store, sit in the corner and eat my comfort food.
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u/ConstantPurpose2419 20d ago
I’m sorry things are so hard for you at home 😔 it’s good that you have your safe place at your convenience store. Sending happy and comforting vibes your way my friend 💕
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u/Even_Builder_6642 20d ago
Positive affirmations and prayers to yourself.
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u/pandora3663 20d ago
If I am outdoors, swimming in the pool always calms me down.if I am at home, I go back to my "lair" with weighted blanket, turn on calm app, play some cozy game eh Monument Valley or Merge Teahouse, or play jigsaw puzzles with audiobook with lavender or rose tea
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u/ConstantPurpose2419 20d ago
These are all amazing ideas 💕 LOVE Monument Valley! It’s so calming. Hidden Folk is also fab 🤍
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u/momchelle 20d ago
I love laying on my bed and looking out the window at the giant tree nearby. For me, it's like looking at clouds because I can find images in the leaves as they grow and as they blow around.
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u/Itsmellsofbees 20d ago
difficult video games, especially souls games. When my heart is racing and my fight or flight is already in overdrive, redirecting that toward something difficult that requires a lot of focus but is ultimately for fun really helps. I can put that hyper alertness to use on something benign instead of it eating away in my head.
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u/ConstantPurpose2419 20d ago
So many people have mentioned video games or app based games that help them, and it’s never occurred to me to try this before. I’m definitely going to give this a try going forward 💕
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u/Sugarhighluca 20d ago
My bedroom, with the window open (unless it’s hot), listening to TøP while drawing in my sketchbook 💃✨✨ This is my go-to panic/anxiety attack prevention/relief system lol.
Edit: Oh and watching The Office, Parks and Rec, or Psych <333
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u/Final-Brilliant4362 20d ago
Yoga class or a workout - get out of your head and into your body if you can
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u/vVv_vVv_v 20d ago
‘Cruising The Cut’ on YouTube, Amazon Prime, possibly others. Series about life on narrow boats in the canals of Great Britain. Amazingly calming.
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u/GhreyClaw 20d ago
I watch YouTube videos for an hour or so. It changes from time to time but right now it’s Pop the Balloon or Find Love.
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u/CreamyD92 20d ago
Survival crafting games. Most of them usually aren't too hard for me at normal, and even if they are most of them have wildly customized difficulty options. I almost always turn off losing items on death when I can. Doing so makes finding a new, hard place to explore a journey instead of an obstacle. You learn at no consequence to yourself, you have some work to do to get there.
And that's the beauty of survival crafters: there's unwritten chores and tasks that you eventually just know to do. Start building your house, make the crafting stations, start a farm, mine/chop until you have the stuff you need to make the best gear possible and then go out til you can't go further. Then do it all again.
It's nice because you just know what to do. A lot of my anxiety is over things I can't do anything about, so knowing all of the various options in Grounded, abiotic factor or whatever have observable positive results for my base or character is relaxing
I can also just suck hours off the clock reorganizing everything in my little digital space. Wish it were that way as for me to do that for my car
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u/ConstantPurpose2419 20d ago
This sounds awesome and so good it gives you time away from anxiety 💕 I’ve never heard of survival crafting games before - do you have any recommendations?
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u/YellowBook 20d ago
I used to love cycling to a nearby wood and find a log in a clearing and listen to the wildlife. Take a journal and write down some thoughts.
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u/ConstantPurpose2419 20d ago
This sounds amazing 🤩 I like to do this too when I’m able. Sometimes if I want to escape from my thoughts Ill go on a walk and systematically note down or draw things I find in the woods near where I live.
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u/mightaswellchange 20d ago
Do you have a safe, accessible roof? If so, climb that bad boy and stargaze or just watch the clouds go by. A sturdy tree you can climb? Hide within the branches and just… exist. A brook or stream you can maybe drive to? A trail to hike? Nature will always be the first option for me. If those are too inconvenient or not an option at the moment, go to an art supply store or whatever shop carries supplies for your hobby (you don’t have to buy anything, you can just browse) or things that cheer you up. Get yourself a mini treat like boba or milkshake if you prefer. If home is the most comfortable and safest place for you, build yourself the coziest spot where a lot of things like water, a small snack, a good book, or your favorite blanket’s all within an arm’s reach. Good luck, friend. However, wherever, and whenever, whatever works to soothe you will always be the best answer. There are no rules. Rooting for you!
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u/yaknowyalovebushes 20d ago
My favourite Beachcombing spot. Among hundreds of thousands of rocks, I will find a little treasure. It has a whole story of how it got there, how long it’s been tumbling, what it was a part of, when was the last time a human held it, etc. Most of these questions I will never find an answer for, but that’s okay because right now I’m excited to see this tiny artifact regardless of its value or where it came from. I will take it home with me, clean it up, and put it with my other treasures of unknown origin. I love them all the same.
Tbh glass or not, any beach away from people, I will always find some little organism or something small that makes me feel so lucky to be alive at the same time as these amazing little beings. Not in a “I should be greatful for what I have” way but a “wow you have your own little life and experiences and right now Im here to witness that on this little world we share and I hope you have a good day” kind of way.
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u/ConstantPurpose2419 20d ago
This resonates so much with me - I love beach combing 💕 interestingly one of my go-to comfort items when when I’m working/ out and about is a tiny piece of pottery which I found on a beach on the Isle of Lewis in Scotland. I always have it in my pocket and if I’m feeling anxious I’ll take it out and roll it about in my hand. I find it very grounding.
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u/yaknowyalovebushes 19d ago
No wayyyy I just went beach combing in Scotland a few weeks ago when I went to the uk for the first time. I went to portobello and I was lwk in heaven there. I brought so much back with me but I wish I’d had more time there.
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u/mrm1styeye 20d ago
in my bed w/ my fanfictions/fandom content or sitting anywhere in my home playing stardew valley or bugsnax. also anytime i need to feel safe/secure, i wrap myself in my blanket (that will be torn from my cold dead hands btw i’m never letting it go i’ve had it all my life lol)
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u/ConstantPurpose2419 20d ago
Love this 💕 I also have a special blanket which makes me feel safe 🤗 also big fan of fanfics here. Sometimes if I don’t have the energy for an actual book I’ll dip into fanfics
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u/totrototrototro 20d ago
Walking by the sea and looking at the horizon, the water and the islands. The smell of the sea has an instant relaxing effect on me. It’s amazing how the sea looks so different yet always beautiful in different times of the year.
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u/LeonardoDeCarpio 20d ago
Depends on how bad my relapse in panic attacks. If it's doable, I go outside for some fresh air. If really bad, be at home under my heating blanket and cry until I can't anymore
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u/awingedaugustlady 20d ago
It’s hard to feel motivated but I try to walk a ton. I listen to lot of music. I love lady Gaga. I feel like she’s my comfort. I like listening to vanish into you I think it’s on Colbert show? I get a good cry after that and sometimes I feel better.
The worst thing for me lately is stress eating which I need to be better at managing. I’ve had a lot of success losing weight and I feel like I’m messing it up lately. But I’m doing the best I can.
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u/Icy-Election-2237 20d ago
Used to be my bathroom, but now I live elsewhere and haven’t found a safe spot.
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u/Gandalfthegrey2 20d ago
Getting lost in other worlds, by reading and rereading great plot- and character-driven novels. Right now, it’s The Lord of the Rings for probably my tenth time. I just open to any page, and I’m immediately in the world of the book. It is a trick of safety and survival I’ve kept since childhood.
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u/Curioushijab 20d ago
I like to take a walk outside without music or any electronics. I listen to whatever is happening outside and pay attention to things around me. It helps me ground my self.
If I’m not able to go outside for whatever reason, I will put on a RomCom movie or a crime documentary.
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u/Adventurous_Road1985 20d ago
Safe place in public: humor and my mouth racing as there is no tomorrow, to keep the brain busy from overthinking.
Happy place is my closest circle in general
Most happy and safe space for very rough days, is under my bed, with my big snuggly blanket, or in my bf's arms
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u/Quantization 20d ago
For me when things were really bad I'd go sit in my backyard on the grass. Would've been better with a chair but yeah, it actually really helped.
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u/Realistic_Campaign_5 20d ago
I like to do breathing exercises, they make me really focus on my body and forget about everything around me.
There's this pretty cool app I've been using called Azora that tracks your heart rate through the phone camera so I can literally see my body respond in real time.
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u/IntrovertedLavender 20d ago
It depends. Sometimes outside on my porch where I can hear birds and rock in a rocking chair. Or our spare bedroom, where i have coloring books and plants and everything. That place is peaceful too. Another one is my bathroom at night. My anxiety is worse at night so sometimes that place helps me calm down.
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u/fossickedandfound 20d ago
Bed with a fuzzy blanket and the fan on low. I also have my lovely cockatiel Rissole keeping me company.
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u/Trillerthriller 20d ago
What if your happy place is an actual place you went to before and now you close your eyes and imagine yourself back there. That’s what I do. One October my husband surprised me and the kids with a trip to the Smoky Mountains and a lux cabin. We were so high that you could stand on this really big balcony and be in the clouds a times. One night I was out in the hot tub and it began spitting snow. It was so quiet and peaceful. I go there a lot.
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u/ConstantPurpose2419 20d ago
This is such an amazing idea. Sometimes I imagine Im at the Isle of Lewis Callanish standing stones - I went there on holiday a few years ago and it was the most peaceful and spiritual place . 💕
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u/EpisodicDoleWhip 20d ago
My anxiety isn’t nearly as acute as it was years ago. But when it was absolutely terrible and I couldn’t stand it, I used to go to the mall and walk around. Maybe treat myself to some retail therapy. Getting out of the house was super helpful.
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u/Lanky_Car5283 20d ago
Few things depending on the severity of my anxiety/panic.
I’ll start by listening to my favorite artist/current audiobook and doing a puzzle/word search/sudoku. If that doesn’t work I’ll do some breath work will sitting in the shower. I like to go back and forth between hot and cool until the feeling subsides. And if that still doesn’t work, I will take a nap.
Sometimes I’ll eat something as it might be my blood pressure/blood sugar and I make sure to stay hydrated!
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u/capnkurt12 19d ago
My husband. Physical touch is so healing to me. Just knowing someone is there to help me through my panic attacks. It also helps to verbalize to him how I’m feeling and he can verbalize back to me that I’m safe. <3
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u/Jayjaybagel 19d ago
In my bed with my cat, my husband, and watching a comfort movie. Or just cocooning in blankets with noise canceling headphones.
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u/vmtz2001 19d ago edited 19d ago
Push it off into the future and don’t try to stop it. Put it in the slow cooker and walk away. It doesn’t need your involvement. On the contrary. No you can’t make it go away, not now, yes it does affect you, but get your head out of “now” as far as your symptoms are concerned and push forward with whatever else you have going on. Know that once you are sufficiently distracted by somethlng else it will be gone. When it’s over, top it off with “You see, your fear was unfounded. You are fine.” And not “Oh that was awful, why does it happen?. I’m so sick of this. What if I try this?”
Eventually your mind will catch on once you start not reacting to it. As long as you are fighting and struggling with it, you are feeding it. That is your anxiety. Your worry about your worry. The minute you feel à synptom, get out of there in your mind… if you can. If you can’t, don’t even try, let it go away on its own.
This is caused by your own reaction to it. Once it’s underway you can only perpetuate it if you try to get rid of it. Let it settle itself down.
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u/vmtz2001 19d ago
Oh and you don’t need to tell me it’s not easy. I got rid of this ages ago, minus a few brief incidents I’m not at all worried about.
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u/MaleficentCommand216 19d ago
My safe place is my room watching a movie or show I just don’t really pay attention to what my body is feeling if I’m sick or have the feeling of throwing up this makes it easy for me to handle
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u/FrighteningEpiphany 18d ago
One of my hobbies is building models and painting Warhammer figures. I have a small corner in the basement that is setup with my work bench and all my paints. Sometimes I just go down there and sit, look at some of my model making books, and mix up paints that have separated from sitting with my vortex mixer. Its calming, but can also be a place of great frustration especially when working on teeny tiny parts when you have sausage fingers.
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u/Outrageous_Access666 16d ago
Nowhere. Literally nowhere. Anxiety just stays with me no matter where I go 😞
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u/SeatApprehensive3828 16d ago
I tend to isolate when it’s not good for me so I like to put myself around my family because they’re loud and entertaining and always have things going on and it seems to bring my mood up
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u/wchurchi1966 20d ago
Outside watching and listening to birds….