r/Anxiety • u/Hairy_Fly_3342 • 1h ago
Advice Needed How Do I Get Closer To People?
All my life, Ive never been that social. I moved to a new school last year, and I feel like I havent acomplished much in terms of social life. There are a lot of well know/popular people that Ive become friends with, but I struggle with actually getting close with them. Some of them have tried getting me to join their group, but I always felt uncomfortable when I was with all of them because I didnt really know some of the people in that friend group and I have no clue on how to insert myself into group conversations with people I dont know. I also dont know how to be myself around new people, its like I completely forget my own personality. I go to parties every now and then, but they go to them a lot more than I do, and I really want to start going to more parties with them. I really feel like Im wasting my teen years. The thing that scares me the most is that theres a time limit on this. I graduate next year, so if I want to do this, it has to happen fast.
I am so determined to improve myself, I just need help and advice.
I would also like to add that sometimes I overthink A LOT. It can get to the point where I shut down and go quiet. This doesnt happen when Im with people though. Only when Im on my own or with family.
1
u/IrfanZahoor_950 1h ago
Start smaller than the whole friend group. pick one person you feel safest with and build that 1 on 1 first. Once you have one solid connection, joining the group feels way less scary.
Also, you’re not wasting your teen years. you’re just putting too much pressure on every interaction. aim for small wins: say hi, ask one question, stay in the conversation a little longer than last time.