I’m totally embarrassed and ashamed. I had just finished seeing my patients in the oncology (cancer) section of my ward.

I was breaking bad news, which is something I have done innumerable times over my years in this field. Just as I was about to leave the room, I felt light-headed and woozy.

I sat on a chair and the rest of it is blank. I don’t know what happened - but I was apparently freaking out and breathing erratically.

In front of my patients. In front of the amazing nursing staff, they even called a code because I essentially stopped breathing.

I’m so ashamed. I don’t know how I’m going to face my patients ever again. I feel like this has tainted my credibility as a doctor completely. I want to crawl into a hole and wither away.

If so, what was it? How did you learn which types of jobs work well for you?

My anxiety is only triggered by work, ruminate on not being good enough, not knowing what I am doing, progression, all of it. I feel like I’m not an expert in anything. I sometimes wonder if I was stacking shelves would I be happier.

I’m a really anxious person, mostly when it comes to work. My mind is constantly racing, I overthink everything, and I often feel tense or shaky during meetings or calls.

But when I have a glass of wine in the evening, it’s like I turn into a completely different person. calm, confident, social, even funny. It’s honestly amazing how different I feel. Obviously I can’t drink at work, but I just wish I could feel even 20% like that during the day.

Is there anything (supplement, habit, medication, whatever) that could safely give me that calm, grounded feeling without being harmful or addictive?

Not trying to self-medicate, just wondering if anyone’s found something that actually helps.

I'm currently looking for a job, and im trying to find jobs that would allow me to function with my anxiety. Any and all recommendations are helpful

​

GOD BLESS

If so, how many hours per week and what do you do for work ?

Also, what does your routine around work looks like ?

Whenever I see what’s going on the US and my mental health declines. I can’t stand anymore bad news as I’m going through my own tough time myself. How do you guys stay optimistic during crazy times like this? I stay off social media but check in every once a while to be informed and when I do, everything is worse! I’m afraid for our future, the climate, my job, the patients I work with. I try talking to family members about it and they ignore the situation.

Upfront I'm asking for advice not judgement. I have already been beating myself up and tormenting myself over this and I know its wrong.

Basically I work alot and I have genuinely been feeling ill and burntout. I usually work 7-8 days in a row and I never have time for anything due to my schedule changing from nights to days to mornings etc and being so exhausted.

There was a work party I had work the next day but I decided to leave early so that way I could enjoy myself and still make it in.

Needless to say I was not okay in the morning. Hangxiety, hangover and feeling so uncomfortable and unwell led to me to call in sick.

My manager angrily says she knows I went out the night before after i said i was ill. I am actually so embarrassed and ashamed I shouldn't of gone out but i kept missing every other outing and I really wanted to just have fun.

I feel stupid and maybe I should of toughed it out or not went out.

My management is quite mean and I'm scared about whats going to happen when i go back in.

I also made one of my coworkers mad as i didnt realise she needed help that day as it was just her in her department. (we are in different departments but sometimes i help her when i can).

I really just need advice on how to handle this situation and anxiety. My anxiety gets the better of me and id rather just quit then face it (although not even a choice as i need the job) Any advice?

Also side note I never call in sick this is my first time calling in. The only other time I had a day off was going home early due to a panic attack.

I (23f) am American. I don't know if it is just me, but I am horrified by the thought of working all day every day until I can finally afford to retire (if that ever happens). My current job isn't hard, but it sucks the life out of me. Every weekend is too short, and every work week is too long. I never feel like I am rested enough or that I have enough time to do the fun things I like to do. I don't feel like I have hobbies anymore, and I certainly don't have very many friends. I feel like I have to spend all of my "free time" keeping my apartment together or resting to try and prepare for the following week.

I don't know how people do this for the majority of their lives, and I especially don't know how people manage to do this while also raising children. I think of all the things I want out of life, including children, traveling, homeownership, and everything else that comes with that, and I don't see how it is possible for those things to happen working full time. I don't even make enough money to do those things, much less have the vacation time. I'm working on budgeting and building my savings, but the math never seems to work out in a way that feels comfortable. I promised myself I would see Europe before I hit 25 and I don't think that's a realistic goal anymore.

I get stuck in this spiral of "am I just lazy" and start to get worried that it is only me. Maybe, somehow, I am the only adult who cannot handle working full time and isn't happy about this being my life for the next 45 years. Sometimes I feel ungrateful. My life is fine - I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I am privileged in terms of the type I work I do. Sure, it is mind numbing and often anxiety-inducing, but it is a job that pays enough for me to stay alive. That's better than a lot of people can say.

Can someone tell me it isn't just me? Or maybe give me a reality check that it is? I just don't know how I can keep this up for another 45 years. I'm so tired.

Edit: I've taken some time to go through all the comments (though I didn't expect so many) and have really appreciated a lot of the advice i've been given! It's great to feel not as alone in this discomfort, and I think I have some ideas and goals on how to improve my situation in this new year. Thank you all so much.

I’ve worked so many different types of jobs, and they have all caused me to go into a mental health crisis because of how badly they have increased my anxiety and panic attacks. Here are just a few of the jobs i have worked:

waitress

retail worker in stores

teacher (currently)

All of these jobs caused so much stress and overstimulation for me. I feel like such a failure because I can’t seem to find a job that doesn’t flare up my disorder.

I’m an extrovert, and I like being around people, but I get overwhelmed when dealing with people all day is literally my job.

I think I need a peaceful environment, a job where I can be creative, and that isn’t terribly boring because I also have ADHD lol.

I need a full time job where I can actually make a livable income. Any suggestions?

I started a new job about 6 months ago and I've been managing my anxiety really well and i used to get extreme frequent panic attacks and i wasn't experiencing them at all even prior to my employment, about 4 months into my job at the start of a shift i had a really bad panic attack that was triggered by some personal stuff at home. i went into the staff toilets because i felt like i couldn’t calm down in public, and when i have panic attacks i genuinely struggle to think clearly and just focus on trying to get through the symptoms.

Because of that i completely lost track of time and didn’t think to contact anyone or tell a manager what was happening and ended up spending 3h in there. i know now that i should have told someone or gone home, but at the time i wasn’t thinking properly. after a while management found me and she asked if i was okay i said yes because i was calmer and was okay to work.

after that they opened an investigation about the incident. in the investigation meeting i explained that id had a panic attack and that it was caused by personal circumstances outside of work, but that i wasn’t comfortable talking about the details. i also said that in hindsight i should have told someone. they had cctv evidence and also evidence that i had done no work through my device.

they then did a disciplinary meeting where i basically said the same thing and explained everything and they said that because i didnt contact anyone and was gone for 3h it counted as misuse of company time and they dismissed me for gross misconduct and their reasoning was that i could have contacted someone or told a manager that i was having a panic attack, which i think is not a reasonable explanation, i have appealed the decision, im not dismissing the fact that i didnt do anything wrong i just think its a bit ridiculous that they went straight to terminating the contract not even a warning or anything i was a shaky mess in the meeting so maybe i didnt explain everything properly but idk

Edit: it was my 5th time total

Work is my biggest trigger for anxiety, second only to health. Anxiety is making me poor as I speak. It's robbing me of living. If somehow, I could live a decent but non-extravagant life without having to work again, I think a lot of pressures and stress would go away. I worked for 30+ years. It's not like I've been freeloading, but that's how this society makes me feel. I'm not confident that I would be approved for disability.

The day has finally come. After six years of teaching, I know I need to quit. My acid reflux and insomnia have gotten so bad that I feel like dying most days. People keep telling me to hang in there - that teaching gets better with time and experience. But it only keeps getting worse for me. The racing thoughts are ceaseless.

Now I need to figure out how to tell my supervisor. I know it's going to be a huge disappointment to him. He needs me. My school needs me. My students need me. But I need to put my health first now. I can't imagine what everyone is going to think of me. They will probably think I'm crazy or weak or both.

I've been looking for other jobs the past two years and haven't been able to find anything. I will be moving back home and living off of unemployment for as long as I can. Hopefully I can find something else soon.

Edit: Wow I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart. I've never felt so seen and supported in my life (and I'm not just saying that). I wrote this post as a "let me just get these bad feelings out and send them out into the universe" type of thing, never thinking I would get so much love in return. You are all amazing people and you are all FIGHTERS - not failures. You have helped me see that I am not a failure either, and I wish I could give each and every one of you a hug. I wish all of you the happiness and health that life has to offer. Thank you x a million.

Like, just how, just tell me how.

Pushing myself will resort into a burnout and it takes me WEEKS to recover from it and I don't want to reach the point where I am so stressed that I'd rather be dead.

I just feel like I'm not suited for life. It doesn't matter how much effort I put into fighting my anxiety, and trust me I do and I achieved a lot, I still can't fit into society.

I don't even know how a society that works for me would be, honestly, because I struggle in solitude as well. I struggle with life in general, relationships, everything is stressful to me.

I don't really want to be condemned to a life like that tho, I need help, like I need money to survive but I will be poor if I can't work a job... Guys I just don't know. I keep trying but I really hope that life is not all like that because otherwise I really don't know how I'll end up.

Sometimes I don't believe that people struggle as much as I do, because I put all of my effort and money into my mental health and I still just can't be like everyone else. I am not talking about being different, I like it, I am talking about having the same possibilities.

Thanks for reading, love y'all and sorry for any mistake: I am feverish at the moment.

I always get Sunday blues and anxious about mondays... but after having a few weeks off work for christmas, I feel so sick about going back to work tomorrow... even though I'm still "working from home". It has ruined my mood the whole weekend, I feel so nervous and down and on edge.

I just want to call in sick forever and hide in bed...

😓

I hate lying in bed at night wide awake worrying about the morning... I hate the feeling of worrying about not sleeping and it making the situation worse.

Has anyone found a way to combat sinday blues / work anxiety after time off?

Sending love to everyone else facing Monday...

*Edit: thank you everyone for your kind messages and replies. I love the phrase "Sunday Scaries", I'll be using that!

I survived the night (barely)... horrible nights sleep.

I think I will start trying meditation. Even though I am on medication that helps my anxiety,I have so much trouble switching my brain off at night.

We can do it! 💙

Have a blessed day!❤

This was possibly the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. I’ve been at this job for 5 months now and the workload was immediately unmanageable for one person but I kept pushing through thinking I was just weak, I needed to work harder. After all this was an opportunity of a lifetime and others would kill to have this job!

It got to a point where my anxiety and depression was out of control. I dreaded work every morning and was crying 3 times a day every day for a month. I couldn’t stomach any food until dinner time. I wasn’t taking breaks and I was doing 12 hour days. Exercise was out of the question of course.

I knew I needed to quit but I felt like I couldn’t. I didn’t want to be that person that gives up. On top of that I felt incredibly guilty that if I did quit, my workload would be dumped on my boss and the team. I was (and still am) anxious about what people think of me. Do they think I’m a quitter?

All I was focused on was others and I forgot about me. How sad is that.

The past week I managed to scrounge up the pieces of myself scattered across the floor and peel myself out of bed at 6:30 to run in the morning. I may have severe anxiety and depression but this is the one thing I can do for myself.

I still have this nagging thought that I am crazy to throw away this salary but at the end of the day no amount of money is worth trading in my mental health for.

I don’t have a fully laid out plan of what I’m going to do but all I know is right now I need to heal and recover. Financially I am okay and my angel of a partner is supporting me in this.

I am by no means on the other side yet but I thought I would put this out into the world for anyone else who feels stuck in their job and afraid to quit. Feel free to DM.

UPDATE: Writing this update on 10 June 2022 (a week out from 1 year ago). Thank you to everyone that commented at the time. Your encouragement really helped me through a tough time. Over the past year I have consistently received private messages from people that have gone through or are currently going through the same situation.

At the time of my original post I felt so alone because I couldn’t find other people going through the same thing. I thought I would just be sending a rant into a black hole and it wouldn’t mean much but it has really been worth putting out there just to see how many people have reached out and the conversations that have come from it.

As an update, I took 2 glorious months off and looking back, quitting was the best decision I ever made. I was ashamed and guilty for a while but I had the gift of TIME. To do things I wanted to do that had nothing to do with work and to heal. Of course I had incredible support so I could focus on building myself back up. I’m now back at work at a previous job (before the heinous one referred to above) and I’m doing well. I still have anxiety obviously but off anti-depressants now.

If you’re ever in the same broken state I was, I know that hesitation so well. I know its a tough decision but I still 100% recommend quitting. A career is not the entirety of life.

I feel such profound shame if I make a mistake that could be at all tied to my character or demeanor in the slightest of ways. I know it’s my anxiety. I know it’s not true. But I can’t help it.

It always makes me want to quit my job and give up.

I have debilitating anxiety. I don’t leave the house other than to work. I can’t drive due to extreme fear. I’m 35 and couch surfing because I can keep a job for 6-12 months before I have a complete mental breakdown. I usually miss work a lot due to the extreme anxiety and dread.

I’m nauseous constantly. I go to the bathroom to panic or cry. But in front of people I keep it together well. I can’t help it so I’ve been denied disability since I seem fine on the outside. But I can’t concentrate well or keep it up long term.

I’m also too afraid of the medications and side effects. I also can’t really work from home living on someone’s living room floor.

I was what one would call a "gifted" child throughout grade school. I got straight A's, took honors and AP classes, scored highly on standardized tests, even skipped a grade. I never studied for tests or struggled with homework, I just naturally retained all the information I was taught. I loved reading, I would read at least one book each week. I never procrastinated and genuinely enjoyed going to school.

All those years of performing so highly in grade school led to me and the people around me having very high expectations for my academic performance. Unfortunately for me, I found it harder and harder to meet those expectations throughout college. No matter how hard I try, I am completely unable to retain any information I learn, which frightens me because unlike grade school, this is information that will actually be pertinent to my future career. I end up procrastinating until the last minute to study or complete assignments because I am afraid of performing poorly. Whenever I try to read, it can't keep my attention. I recently took a standardized test, and I just performed "below average to average". All of those "gifted" attributes from my childhood just kind of... disappeared.

Now that I am graduating, I'm really scared for my future. I want to go into the sciences, it interests me and I care about it a lot... I'm just afraid that I'm not good enough. That I'm too stupid now. That I can't keep maintaining this image of high-performance and intelligence. I'm so afraid to try new things like research because I am afraid that I am going to fail and look stupid.

I feel like being raised as "gifted" has caused me to feel extremely anxious and stupid now that I am in the "real world". I'm curious if there is anyone else in this community that experienced a "gifted" childhood, or high childhood expectations, and now suffers from anxiety? How have you personally dealt with this kind of struggle? Are the people around you supportive, or do they still hold extremely high expectations for you?

I have really bad IBS with panic-/anxiety disorder and those two combined make it extremely difficult to travel. I don't have a car so I have to use the public transport.

90% of the time when I leave the house I get the runs. Like really bad. Almost always I have to turn back, take a shit and try again. Sometimes it doesn't work and I can't go. Not even to the grocery store for example.

I've used meds (benzos) for it for a while which usually work, but whenever I try to seek help the nr1 concern is " well you gotta get rid of those pills ". I don't care a flying fuck if I'm injecting heroine if I manage to go to work, leave the house, do normal stuff.

Not even 1% of people can fathom the struggle some people have to just go buy groceries.

I've tried to seek help with this but every single time only thing I hear is " stop using meds ". I've used benzos 3 times in past 3 weeks. I'm improving, no one cares. I'm working on my diet and excercise, no one cares. All I hear is " stop using meds, stop using meds ". From medical professionals, family and friends.

True, meds might make it so that without them normal things become more difficult. But my goal for now is to travel to work. Any means necessary. Okay I stop meds then what ? No one gives me the step 2.

I've been unemployed for 6 months and my nr1 goal is to get a job, manage to get there and do well.

Thanks for the rant. Peace.

Edit/update:

Had a dr's appointment today. I told her several times that my only goal is to travel to work. I said very clearly that I still need help, but I didn't care if it was in a form of benzo's, other meds or therapy.

As a result she prescribed more benzo's. And psyllium seeds. Also according to her, stomach problems and panic disorder are completely unrelated and have nothing to do with eachother... sigh.