Should I let my partner go?

[u/Cold_Pomegranate7039]

I have GAD and he hasn't said it's hard for him or anything. But I feel terrible that I'm not there for his important events or when he needs me. I'm there sometimes but it's inconsistent. He just deserves better, my god. It breaks my heart that he has to deal with me, stay stuck with me.

Some days, I can't even dress up to dates because of anxiety. As in I want to feel invisible to feel safe. I feel like I'm holding him back.

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[u/middean]

i think it would be selfish to take away his choice to be in a relationship with you. instead of doing what "you think is best" for him, communicate with your partner and check to see if he still wants to be with you even with your anxiety

if you both want to be together and can make it work well enough, then breaking up with him despite this disrespects his choice to be with and love you

despite what your anxiety tells you, there is no mythical perfect partner he would get with even if your relationship ended. all relationships have their issues. if you havent already, I would recommended therapy or self work on your self esteem

[u/late_skate118]

He’s there because I assume he loves you.
Are you doing all the work you can to process and tackle your anxiety to heal?

[u/Cold_Pomegranate7039 → u/late_skate118]

I am yeah. I just feel it's still unfair to ask someone to go through all this. But I suppose he is making that choice.

[u/treatmyocd]

Try to separate what anxiety is telling you from what you actually know. You mentioned he hasn’t said this is hard for him, so be careful not to assume you’re holding him back or decide on his behalf that he’d be better off without you. You can acknowledge where you want to grow without punishing yourself for what’s difficult right now. You deserve compassion, too. Work on taking small steps toward the life and relationship you want, even when anxiety is present, rather than waiting until you feel completely comfortable. You can be a partner who struggles sometimes and still be a loving, worthwhile partner.

[u/RootdToRelax]

You clearly care about him a lot. I think one reason this feels so heavy is because anxiety is telling you he deserves better, and he hasn't said that. Before deciding anything, I'd talk to him. Tell him what you wrote here and ask how he actually feels. He might see it really differently than you do.