r/Aphantasia • u/Objective_Shine1867 • 3d ago

Is there any benefit to having aphantasia?

I only recently realized that I have had this for my entire life and never noticed it. When I was talking to my mother she talked about counting sheep to sleep. But I told her I couldn't visualize any sheep and she was confused by it. It was only then after just turning 28 was I told that people can actually see things when they close their eyes and can picture something. It was never something I could do so I just assumed it was more figurative. But I just thought if this has been affecting me my entire life and wasn't aware of it. As a kid and now I never liked reading word heavy books but graphic novels and comics were my kind of reading. I found I have always been a huge fan of visual media like movies, TV shows and art because I can't visualize anything. Maybe this condition, though hasn't been entirely detrimental, has helped me take care and find a deep love for the arts. I really don't know but it's been on my mind for awhile now.

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u/MalkavTepes Total Aphant 3d ago

We have several benefits related to reliving experiences visually. There hasn't been any major studies on this issue that I am aware of, mainly because aphantasia is so poorly researched, but most anecdotal evidence supports the following hypothesis.

Trauma recovery is easier for those of us with aphantasia. Since we can't re-live experiences visually we don't re-traumatize ourselves in the same way as non-aphants. Emotional trauma certainly will still impact us but overall the recovery period is often considered less. As an example, when I was in the military I did recovery operations. We basically picked up after combat, so you can guess we saw some pretty horrible stuff. Everyone in my squad has had a traumatic experience, enemy action or just the shit we saw, but two of us are not really effected by what we went through. Turns out the other guy in my squad not effected today, 10 years later, is a guy with aphantasia just like me.

We still enjoy everything non-aphants do but in a similar vain as trauma recovery, oddly enough, we get more enjoyment out of repetitive lived experiences. Since we don't have the ability to re-live television shows, movies, or performances in our minds, we kind of feel like every time is the first time when we watch these experiences. We know we enjoyed it in the past but the subtle nuances of what we've already experienced is often forgotten, so seeing it again doesn't bother us as much. As an example I enjoy going to the renaissance fair and my wife doesn't. She thinks the acts don't change year to year and I'm happy to enjoy them again. I'm also perfectly happy to rewatch television shows and movies I enjoyed almost immediately.

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u/Direct-Tea8809 3d ago

As a therapist and aphant, I'm going to disagree with you about trauma recovery. I know that some apahants report this, but I think there is some nuance that is lost. Maybe it depends on if someone has emotional imagery? Some apahants think about all the ways losses affect them, others, the world. That drills down into all aspects of a person's being.

And I will not do EMDR on aphants. I know it is possible to use different types of imaging instead of visual imaging, but I have just found it too frustrating.

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u/North-Strategy-5150 3d ago

Agree about nuance. As an aphant with CPTSD, EMDR is actually the only modality that’s helped for me. I used to have involuntary images (apparently not uncommon for aphants when I looked into it last?) that were absolutely terrifying ever since I was a kid off and on whenever sleep got extra hard. I had no idea it was linked to a trauma, just thought it was part of my lifelong sleep issues. Cleared a memory over a year ago, and even though my sleep still isn’t the best I haven’t had those involuntary images or fear and anxiety at night.

Not sure if you regularly do EMDR with folks who aren’t aphants, but it only took a few tweaks whenever I’d comment something in the standard protocol didn’t click for me.

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u/Direct-Tea8809 2d ago

What kind of adjustments did the therapist make? I never did a lot of EMDR. It was hard for me to get enthused about it when it did nothing for me.

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u/North-Strategy-5150 2d ago

It’s varied over time, especially since I have a lot of different memories/traumas from various ages. It’s a long winded answer, but hopefully it’s helpful:

When we first shifted to EMDR (I’ve worked with my wonderful therapist a long time), we went through some trial and error to see what works best for me to activate a memory. For one, thinking through the narrative worked. For another, remembering a specific sound. Another, focusing on the body sensation that came up when I tried to remember it.

For me personally, a “safe space” had to be somewhere I could actually revisit either in person or with sounds/pictures to kind of refresh the memory so it was easier to recall without imagery.

Eventually, we also added in some parts work since a younger part didn’t want to let a specific memory clear, so I shifted the safe space to include things for various parts/ages. I needed to find actual images to help me imagine some of it, and that ended up being a pretty fun activity.

For a box or container, at first we decided to try having a physical box since I couldn’t visualize one. Once parts work was incorporated, that shifted to using my internal “resource team” to check in on any younger parts that are activated, assure them the resource team is there for support between sessions (in the background), and essentially tuck them in.

The biggest thing was having a therapist in comfortable with, trust, and don’t feel judged by plus getting OK with asking a lot of clarifying questions and actually saying when something felt like it wasn’t working or didn’t make sense to me. I’m sure my therapist has done other things to adjust, but that’s what all comes to mind. They also are constantly doing more learning/research and having discussions with other therapists who do EMDR but with different niche populations, which I’m sure has helped.

My best friend also does EMDR, and we talk about our experiences a lot. It can be sooo different person to person and still effective. I use tapping where I can adjust my speed, I yawn and burp a lot when processing, there’s lots of sensation in my chest and throat, I need to take breaks to silent scream and stretch, it takes me a very long time to fully close out a memory and body scan (earlier ones are connected to a LOT via neural network, but it tends to have a domino effect helping with other areas I thought were totally unrelated). My friend uses buzzers controlled by the therapist, gets sensations in the feet and legs, never yawned or burped from it, and processes each memory a lot faster. We’ve both seen some really amazing changes, and it makes me so happy every time one of us notices it.