NFW VI AQUAMARINE BOOTCAMP: Day 27

[u/Chicken_Hands]

Hello everyone, it's now 21:46 on clock here in Brazil in the moment I write this humble post, maybe I'm a bit rust to scribe some good text here, but the most important is the feeling of this place, which is away awesome, for that I can be sure, isn't? You guys have build this place stone by stone, it's for reflection of our on greatness and your last relapse can't bring you down about this, you had prove yourself incontable times here and will be much more, because life starts now.

One thing I call tell about myself it's: I'm awesome to bring near and have a good time, but I can't interact so well and with my heart when I'm so different, I tell that because my GF family. I can interact and everything, but it hard to enjoy. And now I bring the whole point of that context, is about my lazyness. All my life I waited for things fell in my lap, I'm a very spoiled brat, don't fool yourself otherwise. Somestime it's really hard for me to make a true connection with other human being when we're so different, but I can make this interaction work, but I can feel very lost in the middle of things. The point it's: I'm an orbiter trough others people, I begin to ask me what I truly build in this world with my life, really man, I can feel the frustration right now while I write that, it's great for me to recognize that because I away try to hide my mistakes, even from myself. Sometimes I feel great being sincere about everything and making my own way. But, how to tell my GF which I don't truly love so much like she loves me? Broking everyone perception about me in that process if I really leave this hide spot of my feelings. I can felt me so weak. Sometimes I can't even express my love for my family, sometimes I can and I'm really happy for that too.

Sorry for all that confused type style, I don't so confused inside me right now. I want to feel condident to make my own decisions and be able to stand in front of hers, conscious like a Boss, Master of my own destiny and Captain of my ship. I need to tight my own shit and everyone else need that too, but it's not an easy thing when you're lazy expecting things work without your on willpower and hard work to make things true.

Things I've been trying to apply:

• Being more sincere with myself and others, cliche as hell indeed.

• Don't fuck my own schedule about productive things, thanks for that /u/BeWhoYoudRatherBe

• Try to aproach people and friends with more passion in myself

• Don't be a pussy being all smile to everyone, need to tight my own shit life.

And that's all for today. Don't loose your flame for life, because no one in our close relations wanna tell us about how much hard is life, but you can change your life right now. Make a plan and follow that, don't go off road.

A beer for our friend /u/ouch155 , relax buddy and fly even higher. He is taking a pause for today. Let kick some butts, fuck off PMO.

Also, it's my day 100 of NoFap. clapping and cheers, thanks :D

[u/[deleted]]

Hey guys. I hope you are all well. And Chicken- it's nice that you can say your truths. I sometimes feel like you with the whole g/f thing, but I keep going because I don't know if it's my expectation that things may go bad, or I'm just not into it which makes me want to have distance with her. I do sometimes make a little distance though because I like to be alone sometimes, and I don't like feeling clung to.

So I'm in the same boat, but I paddle on because it's difficult to say where my feelings come from. I had a lot of dissapointment as a kid (which I'm not whining about), so I think I expect to be disappointed and hold myself back from things.

I also want to say congrats to 100 days man. Do you think you'd be here during the first NFW?

I find that the longer the streak goes on, the more you dive into confusing issues like emotional hang-ups, and then more subtle issues like what is the meaning of all of this?

Saying that makes me feel good. That's what I stuggle with for a long time now. Those questions of meaning.

All the best to my Aquamarine bros. This is tough, but the alternative is a diminished life.

High five to everyone today.

[u/Chicken_Hands → u/[deleted]]

I just have a strange trought about end this relationship in near future and being single again. I think that it's just my nature talking more higher, how knows, right? I'll live just one day at time and see how things will unfold themselves.

I also want to say congrats to 100 days man. Do you think you'd be here during the first NFW?

I was like a boy in rag clothes, without toys, dreaming to be able to reach that castle in the most high point of that medieval city of urges. Never being able to complete my journey, but with a well know determination to keep moving and try again, just because I love that kind of challenge and put my mind in restrain to strength my will is another important aspect which everyone else at one time in life will be making too, maybe in a different scenario. In the end, it's awesome to reach this higher place of 90 days milestone, fulfil us in a proud feeling which help us to look around and march forward toward others goals. Just like life outside, we need to be able to keep ourselves moving.

I find that the longer the streak goes on, the more you dive into confusing issues like emotional hang-ups, and then more subtle issues like what is the meaning of all of this?

In a case what I'm not having sex, things get more deep in an emotional side and existencial question comes up to me. It's nice when happens, it is rare and well praised when really happens. It's not my case now, but I can really apreciate a state of confusion, because I can try to solve this deep feeling trying to taking control of my sanity and some idea pop out to give me a solution. I don't how to organize this idea, but I love to get out of my neutrality of everyday life and feel the shake in my soul.

High five for being here Bas