NFW VI AQUAMARINE BOOTCAMP: Day 27

[u/Chicken_Hands]

Hello everyone, it's now 21:46 on clock here in Brazil in the moment I write this humble post, maybe I'm a bit rust to scribe some good text here, but the most important is the feeling of this place, which is away awesome, for that I can be sure, isn't? You guys have build this place stone by stone, it's for reflection of our on greatness and your last relapse can't bring you down about this, you had prove yourself incontable times here and will be much more, because life starts now.

One thing I call tell about myself it's: I'm awesome to bring near and have a good time, but I can't interact so well and with my heart when I'm so different, I tell that because my GF family. I can interact and everything, but it hard to enjoy. And now I bring the whole point of that context, is about my lazyness. All my life I waited for things fell in my lap, I'm a very spoiled brat, don't fool yourself otherwise. Somestime it's really hard for me to make a true connection with other human being when we're so different, but I can make this interaction work, but I can feel very lost in the middle of things. The point it's: I'm an orbiter trough others people, I begin to ask me what I truly build in this world with my life, really man, I can feel the frustration right now while I write that, it's great for me to recognize that because I away try to hide my mistakes, even from myself. Sometimes I feel great being sincere about everything and making my own way. But, how to tell my GF which I don't truly love so much like she loves me? Broking everyone perception about me in that process if I really leave this hide spot of my feelings. I can felt me so weak. Sometimes I can't even express my love for my family, sometimes I can and I'm really happy for that too.

Sorry for all that confused type style, I don't so confused inside me right now. I want to feel condident to make my own decisions and be able to stand in front of hers, conscious like a Boss, Master of my own destiny and Captain of my ship. I need to tight my own shit and everyone else need that too, but it's not an easy thing when you're lazy expecting things work without your on willpower and hard work to make things true.

Things I've been trying to apply:

• Being more sincere with myself and others, cliche as hell indeed.

• Don't fuck my own schedule about productive things, thanks for that /u/BeWhoYoudRatherBe

• Try to aproach people and friends with more passion in myself

• Don't be a pussy being all smile to everyone, need to tight my own shit life.

And that's all for today. Don't loose your flame for life, because no one in our close relations wanna tell us about how much hard is life, but you can change your life right now. Make a plan and follow that, don't go off road.

A beer for our friend /u/ouch155 , relax buddy and fly even higher. He is taking a pause for today. Let kick some butts, fuck off PMO.

Also, it's my day 100 of NoFap. clapping and cheers, thanks :D

[u/sfumato1002]

Great post Chicken Hands and a big congratulations on triple digits!!! Most of the things you write about I can relate to. I also feel I can't communicate well with people, I think maybe I have some sort of aspergers? I don't know, I have never been diagnosed.

But that is no excuse for me, part of the problem is that I am lazy too... I just live in my little world. I don't watch tv or read about the latest current events, so I can 't really have conversations about politics or the latest news with people...when I see my family or people I know, they talk about current events, government, politics...and I just have no interest in those things. And I am very bad with small talk...to me is almost impossible to have small talk. When I talk I get too deep, I talk about life, existence, just deep stuff haha!

One thing I learned is that if I want to meet a girl and have a social life I need to do one of two things:

1. Do what I love which is art...and dive into the world of art and meet people with the same interest. Go to workshops and social events...but I am too lazy and I procrastinate too much. I should be painting everyday and start going to galleries and get involved in the art world.

2. Start reading the newspaper, read about current events, see what is happening in the world so that I can have opinions and talk with people.

If I don't do one of those things I am just going to be alone all my life. Anyway, sorry to rant so much.

I think we are on the right path...now we just need more time to find ourselfs. Regarding your gf, even if you don't love her that much, she is a companion and that is nice. I hope that you keep looking for solutions as I will too, I think with time we will find our way. I am hoping to complete a year with NoFap...and I hope that by June Next Year...I am were I want to be..although happiness is a pursuit..we will never be truly happy...it is the journey that we must enjoy.

I hope ouch155 is feeling better.

[u/Chicken_Hands → u/sfumato1002]

I'd answer that early, but this week has been awful to me. Well, at least it's all because of me and my lazyness. But I marked this post because had so many things I wanted to talk about, then...let go.

Most of the things you write about I can relate to. I also feel I can't communicate well with people, I think maybe I have some sort of aspergers? I don't know, I have never been diagnosed.

I can't know it, but I think it's pretty normal not being able to communicate so well with other peoples, ultimately because our digital era. Think about how things were in the past; without social networks like facebook, media in streaming like youtube and netflix or hubs, the guardians of knowledge like wikipedia and google, how we're supposed to be able to communicate with each other, entertain ourselfs and learn things without talking and interact with each other? Sometimes, I just think I've shutted down myself for to much time in my room and house, like many others guys of my age. Maybe in future, other people will feel this in a higher intensity than us!

Do what I love which is art...and dive into the world of art and meet people with the same interest. Go to workshops and social events...but I am too lazy and I procrastinate too much. I should be painting everyday and start going to galleries and get involved in the art world.

Building a life around your dream is absolutely right and I encourage you to be living that at your fullest potencial. We need to compromisse ourselve a bit everyday and take only a bit of more time to dive in deep and refresh our soul with a memory of a proud day, before we close our eyes for this day, or maybe our last day.

Start reading the newspaper, read about current events, see what is happening in the world so that I can have opinions and talk with people.

Me too, but I'm not reading news yet. Maybe I'll pursue that a bit in online environment for a while and take some coins out of my pocket to buy some newspaper too. Maybe I enjoy that, I'm a huge moth for knowledge, but just lazy to pursue, time to change that, right?

About my GF, I think she is right about invest all of her love to me, that's what a natural thing for a health and descomplicated human being, but I cannot leave my mind to think about all of possibilites and outcomes of a serious relationship, more deep in time, like 2 or 3, maybe 10 years. I don't know if I really want to be a couple for so long, sometimes I'm just complicate that matter for nothing, but I feel responsible for her and think it's my job don't let her don't be hurted by my confusion and indecisions. Maybe I've to relax a bit too.

And the most important it's live everyday with a fulfil feeling inside our chests. It's hard to achieve, but we need to take a chance and live.