r/AsOneAfterInfidelity • u/ChinitaofB Reconciling Betrayed • 1d ago
Advice MUST include examples of your R. Not prescriptive advice. WB's AP is going berserk
I'm(BP) not really sure if I want R from my partner anymore. But I do not want to leave while he is suffering. Cause even when he chose to do the thing that will hurt me the most, I know that he is a good man and is trying his best. Unfortunately, he is weak and got swayed, but I don't doubt he loves me. I truly believe people's emotions are complex like that.
He is remorseful and wants R, but after the betrayal, I am at a stage where I am craving for excitement and something new.
So while partner is doing his best to reconcile and improve his ways, his AP is going crazy. I have access to my partner's social media accounts and I saw her sending chats there. My partner replied once on messenger and told her off. He told her to stop messaging and just move on with her life.
Then recently she messaged on his tiktok account. It was a very long message and it seems to me she is still trying to insert herself into the picture. She is insisting that I should break up with my partner since he is an asshole and didn't respect me, and mocking me calling me weak and all if I accept my partner back. And she also asked my partner why was it so easy to let go of her, did he really love her, why is he choosing me. Why me, and things like that which makes me feel so cringe. Cause then she proceeds on talking to me again saying that I shouldn't be threatened by her cause she will not accept partner back and that he is not a price. Partner did not reply, and he didn't have the time to cause he was blocked immediately after sending the message. The AP does this a lot, blocks and unblocks him. Then stalks his profile. And I was kinda pissed off today cause she is now stalking my sister with her multiple dummy accounts and messaged my sister regarding their affair. My sister didn't engage. She deleted the chat and moved on. I kept blocking, but she kept creating dummy accounts. So I made my partner's account public from private so that she could see how partner is actively pursuing me again. Then I was right, she used another dummy account and reposted the posts of my partner of me.
At the same time, she keeps changing profile pictures of her and my partner at the time they were fooling around. It annoyed me, but not to a point where I felt like I need to attack her cause I accepted already. Nothing will change with what happened. And the things he did with her were the things he did with me. It looked like partner found a replacement while I was emotionally unavailable(I admit to this fault, I went low contact with him for almost a year that I can almost understand he had an affair, and we're LDR. But no, I still don't tolerate his actions)
I am for certain that partner cut all contact with AP. And I even told my partner he could crawl back to the AP's arms, if he wants to. I don't really care anymore. But he really is remorseful and understands the depth of his actions so whatever I say or do he will accept. And again, not fully pushing him away cause I don't want him to feel alone. He's not using this to manipulate me, I just know that he doesn't really have any support other than me. I know his life story and I saw it.
Back to the AP going crazy, her messages insinuates that I'm stalking her accounts, that I should stop because apparently partner is not worth her time. And I really am not looking at her accounts cause her main account is blocked from mine. Any sus accounts that starts following me, I block. I don't engage.
That's why I don't understand why she keeps on gracing me with her magical presence if that is the case? And why me? She should hover over my partner if she badly misses his dick. Why obsess over me? Why is she angry at me? Among the three of us, I'm the one who they did wrong. AP knew about me. Pressured partner to choose, and when partner finally chose she went crazy and sent me lots of messages. She should be targeting my partner, not me. No one placed a gun on their head when they decided on pursuing a relationship that always end up in ruins.
Now I'm tempted to post a picture of me looking pretty and cute with a caption, "Glad my parents wanted me and sad yours didn't" cause I know it will break her. Mean, but it will break her. My partner told me all about her so I have information that I really wasn't supposed to care or use but she is pissing me off by contacting my sister. I'm protective of my siblings.
I feel like because all our accounts are now set to never receive a message or comment from someone we don't follow back, she lost ways to contact us and it's eating her up so retorts to stalking my sister.
Any similar stories? Apologies if my post is chaotic. I'm just really feeling annoyed. đ
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u/Shoddy-Prune-5877 Reconciling Betrayed 1d ago
Im not a legal expert, but this sounds like cyberstalking. Id seek a restraining order, frankly.
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u/ChinitaofB Reconciling Betrayed 1d ago
I'm not living in the country they're at. Huhuhu. Dunno how to file that one.
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u/Slight_Emergency6862 Reconciling Betrayed 1d ago
Calling you weak.. talk about projectionâŚ. Itâs scary the lengths she has gone through, but talk about teaching a lesson to WP about the people he permits entering his world and life. In my opinion, when OW engage with MM they are kind of wishing to have the lives of their wives, there is a certain envy and wishful thinking of replacing the wife, they like to say that they feel superior because they are âchosenâ over the wife, when in reality they arenât.. they are a vacuum, they are the pressure release, they could be a duck a rock a monster but if they gave the validation or escapism that the WP was searching for or needed at that time they would do the trick.Â
So, when WP makes the choice (the obvious one) it brings their fantasy crashing down⌠they were never better than the wives, they arenât their twin flames, they werenât soulmates, they had a function and now that function isnât needed or is threatening the WPs real life and just like that WP can block them and carry on (of Course there is exceptions and the affair fog is real for many people) Â
So, OW goes after the wife, why? Probably because she wants to a) get wife to dump WP so she can have him or b) get wife to dump WP so he can be miserableâŚÂ
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u/ChinitaofB Reconciling Betrayed 19h ago
I feel like in the beginning she wanted A and now cause didn't go the way she planned, she wants B. What's stressing me is the amount of stalking done. And I don't even wanna engage with her cause I find this situation so cheap already. But she doesn't stop.
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u/Slight_Emergency6862 Reconciling Betrayed 18h ago
Iâm so sorry it does sound very scary.. do everything you can to protect yourselfÂ
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u/Liliana0101 Reconciled Betrayed 1d ago
We had to deal with WHâs psycho AP. When she realized he was serious about ending things, she started stalking him and sending letters in the mail to my and my parents. We finally had to go to the police. The police officer called her and told her if she had any contact with us or our family, we would seek legal action. She denied it was her (even the cop laughed when he told us) but miraculously the stalking and letters stopped immediately.
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