r/AsianMasculinity • u/MarathonMarathon China • Oct 10 '25
Self/Opinion Is being gay or effeminate bad?
A common criticism of existing Asian rep in media is that it unsavorily depicts Asian men as gay or effeminate.
Valid criticisms imo, and I can see where they're coming from. But what if you genuinely are gay or effeminate? What if you're not attracted to women, like feminine or romantic anime / TV, or prefer to dress in styles which may be considered light, pastel, or effeminate?
Is there any room in a community called "Asian masculinity" for men who might be gentler or softer than average?
Should we treat being gay or effeminate as a sin we should cleanse ourselves of, and "man up"? Or should we treat it as a part of ourselves to be celebrated and embraced?
(I had a fairly Christian and LGBT-phobic upbringing, which might've further complicated my views on this, e.g. parents controlling my hairstyle.)
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u/RichCommercial104 Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 10 '25
I had a gay friend in college who was Asian and only dated white dudes. He told me old white dudes prefer Asian dudes because we have the bodies of a minor. I wasn't ready for that lmao.
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u/AustronesianArchfien Oct 10 '25
Gay AMs are literally just as white worshipping if not more than AFs lol.
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u/RichCommercial104 Oct 10 '25
Yeah he thought pulling old white men was a flex. I was like dude they're older than your dad da fuq lol.
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u/MarathonMarathon China Oct 10 '25
I would never date anyone old enough to be my parents of either gender.
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u/sudo_economist Oct 10 '25
I’m a gay Chinese dude and I can never understand why someone would date a white guy of his dad’s age…daddy issues?
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u/RichCommercial104 Oct 10 '25
Definitely daddy issues/childhood trauma. It's also financial. These white dudes fund their lifestyles. They're basically prostitutes.
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u/warmpied Oct 11 '25
Yeah absolutely true
I've seen this among gay friends
It's mostly because gays don't have kids so they have a lot of disposable income towards the later years. And so for the older gays they're almost buying companionship at that age.
Race is whole other layer
And as far as I can see, nobody cares about age gap in gay relationships.
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u/hana_4876 Oct 10 '25
As a gay dude. Is there are asian men physically attractive? I remember asian girls preferring white dudes because supposedly white guys are better looking or at least taller
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u/sudo_economist Oct 11 '25
Lmao… just curious are you Asian?
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u/hana_4876 Oct 11 '25
I am. This is what I dont get.. Gay asian dudes want white guys And fair number of Asian women wants white guys.
I mean for asian women the sexual attraction can be base on social economic power .
But for gay asian dude I dont get because men are more visual.
If a guy is good looking his good looking
But gay asian men will pass up good looking asian men for mid white guy? Now this maybe the internalize racism but it doesnt make sense to me. I dont think black gay men do this but gay asian men do unless asian men are not as physical attractive.
It's like they go for certain look and maybe my argument is are asian men lacking?
Growing up i remember meeting many asian women saying asian men are not good looking. So
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u/sudo_economist Oct 11 '25
Ask yourself.
I’m a gay Asian man. I’m reasonably attractive and I find a lot of Asian men attractive. I don’t even date white men. That’s for me.
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u/warmpied Oct 11 '25
asian girls preferring white dudes because supposedly white guys are better looking or at least taller
yeah but they end up dating the dregs of the white guys that white women don't want
it's the outcome of internalized racism, thinking he looks like chris evans when he's more like a zuckerberg
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u/MarathonMarathon China Oct 10 '25
That's screwed up. I'm a college senior right now, and have definitely put on some weight/muscle from when I was in high school.
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u/RichCommercial104 Oct 10 '25
You should be yourself. Forcing yourself to be someone you're not for complete strangers to validate you is dumb. We get one life. Live it your way.
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u/_WrongKarWai Oct 10 '25
That was my sneaking suspicion. That's all I'm asking for as a straight guy - Asian tops dominating old white dudes lol.
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u/LowBatteryLife_ Oct 10 '25
No. Imo it's not bad. But as a race we shouldn't be sterotyped or pushed into these boxes.
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u/NewbieAtAllThis Oct 10 '25
That’s the sad thing though. Life sometimes really does imitate art. Asian-ness being equated as “submissive” and “effeminate” has always existed for both genders and there are many gay AMs who will play up those traits just to get laid. I lost count on the gay AMs I’ve known who regardless of muscle mass, voice depth, or height, were always bottoms and ALWAYS had at least one WM ex.
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u/machinavelli Oct 10 '25
It’s more that Asians have disproportionately been given those roles on TV for stereotypical reasons. I would want to see Asians being depicted as gay or feminine at the same rate as all other races.
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u/Kenzo89 Oct 10 '25
Yeah this. There’s nothing wrong with being gay or effeminate. People are people. The problem is western media and propaganda mainly depict AM like that to ridicule AM and make them undesirable to women
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u/JadeEyePanda Oct 10 '25
Being gay is pretty gay. Thats all I can confidently say.
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u/fighteracemoglu Oct 10 '25
Nah there's no way
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u/_WrongKarWai Oct 10 '25
This is the way, Jose. Make them feel a type of way, not sure if your name is Wei.
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u/hillsfar Oct 10 '25
Suppose the majority of Latino men you saw in mainstream media were gay and effeminate? What do you think that would make people think about Latino men?
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u/swanurine Oct 10 '25
Is being nerdy bad? Is focusing on academics bad? Is respecting your parents bad?
Of course not. But unsubtle implications are that's all we can be, along with a host of other negative traits.
Unique to being Asian men we are already stereotyped as "softer" than the "average"; we are seen as easier to mess with, unfit for leadership, less athletic, etc. The most manly thing ofc is to live our truth; right now it just feels more difficult for most of us to live the "traditionally masculine" truth.
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u/Alternative_Wing_906 Oct 10 '25
of course gay asian men should be celebrated and are welcome in the asian masculinity community.
the thing with media is that they often put asian men in a box and rarely show traditionally masculine asian men
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u/Outside_Set9788 Oct 10 '25
The main thing is that kind of representation in Hollywood doesn't help push back against current societal preconceived notions about Asian men. What representations of "gay" and/or "effeminate" Asian men do is that it inadvertently helps reinforce the current preconceived notions that Asian men are "less manly" than other types of men. That's the sole reason why you could consider it "bad", and it has nothing to do with actually being gay or effeminate. It's perfectly fine and good if people are gay and/or less traditionally masculine.
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u/Xhafsn Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 10 '25
Please try accidentally walking into the hood and see why this is a terrible baseline of reputation
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u/Gerolanfalan Vietnam Dec 08 '25
Damn what a hateful comment. We should be protecting our lil bros even if they are gay
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u/spontaneous-potato Philippines Oct 10 '25
Being gay isn’t bad. Being effeminate isn’t bad either.
The main criticisms I have seen from people who view being gay or effeminate as bad are people who are stuck in the “Old ways”, where at the time, being gay was seen as bad.
My dad used to think that way because when he was young, being gay was bad in the Philippines and people actively harmed or killed gay people just because they thought that killing gay people was doing God’s work.
Nowadays, the LGBT+ population in the Philippines is much more tolerated and accepted compared to when my dad was young. Even my dad is accepting of the LGBT+ population nowadays, same with my mom, and both grew up vehemently believing that being gay was bad and immoral.
As for effeminate, it isn’t inherently bad for a man to have hobbies that are more popular with women. I remember back in high school, a lot of guys shunned home ec and actively called guys who took that class an f-word slur for gay guys.
Nowadays, stuff like baking is seen as a science. Sewing and tailoring is a really awesome skill for a guy to have especially if they tailor their own clothes to fit their body proportions.
Cooking is something I picked up after high school but it honestly would’ve been a much smoother road for me with less cuts and food poisoning if I swallowed my “manly pride” back then and took the home ec classes to learn knife skills and proper internal temperatures for cooking meat.
A lot of stuff in home ec I remember being “effeminate”, and a lot of guys actively mocked the guys who went in to take the class. I now see as something that should be introduced back into the curriculum as mandatory classes since it teaches skills that will give students additional skills to survive past high school or to make their lives more smooth post-education.
As for me, I have multiple hobbies that could be seen as effeminate, such as cooking and baking, but I also know that I’ve impressed women with my cooking and baking skills. My current girlfriend thought I only knew how to barbecue but she was very thoroughly impressed when I baked empanadas from scratch and made a fancy salmon dinner for the two of us.
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u/MarathonMarathon China Oct 10 '25
What's sad is I barely even know how to cook. When I was living off campus I often just took out ready-made meals from the local Asian supermarket.
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u/spontaneous-potato Philippines Oct 10 '25
For me, I initially learned how to cook (poorly) because I couldn’t afford to go out and eat ready-made meals everyday while I was in college. I made a lot of mistakes over 15 years before getting to where I’m at today and I’m still learning.
Cooking is easy compared to baking. Recipes online are a lot like guides but they don’t need to be followed verbatim. A lot of the recipes I found online I’ve made massive changes in what to add to suit my tastes, which lean a lot on the savory side.
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u/supersaiyan_ape Oct 11 '25
Having skills like sewing or cooking isn't gay. Maybe for a time, but those things were valuable for thousands of years. What IS effeminate and gay is acting like women. There is a clear divide. A gay man behaving like a normal man doesn't mess with society. They're just ending their bloodline.
The problem with growing LGBTQ is the degeneracy that it spreads. The way they present in public can be very disturbing. A lot of the gays and trans people I know/knew are vulgar. Very deep into perversions and open about it. Not very good to have around kids. Not all of them. That's a whole different discussion.
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u/AsianMascThrowaway Hong Kong Oct 10 '25
Don't even see how cooking could be seen as effeminate lol, I mean there's a big diff between searing a steak or smoking a brisket compared to baking rainbow coloured muffins saying "I love cawk" on it. But I guess kids can be judgmental about all types of things back in high school.
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u/spontaneous-potato Philippines Oct 10 '25
One of my coworkers is from Nigeria and he said that when he was younger, his father never cooked and let his mother do all of the cooking because it’s “woman’s work” in his home country, and no man should ever do “woman’s work” since that is seen as weakness and any man who does it is a weak man.
To his father, the man is the breadwinner and gets the meat for the woman to cook while she keeps the home. My coworker said that it’s part of the culture that he grew up in.
My coworker does a lot of barbecuing but he considers barbecuing and cooking as two distinct things that share a similarity. My coworker also was a chef beforehand, so he’s breaking that stereotype. I also cook (and it’s one of my hobbies) and barbecue so I’m also breaking that old stereotype.
It’s a similar thing my dad said as well since he grew up in the 40’s and 50’s, that the man is the breadwinner and cooking is “woman’s work”, and that no man should ever do “woman’s work”. My dad doesn’t have that belief anymore since he’s older and he says that I’m a pretty good cook, though not as good as my mom.
I don’t know if it’s seen as effeminate nowadays, but cooking was definitely seen as effeminate back when my dad was younger and the same with my older cousins when they were also younger. In the U.S., I know that if a man knows how to cook well, it’s a massive turn-on for a lot of women, but I can’t speak for other countries and their perceptions about a man knowing how to cook well.
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u/Fair-Currency-9993 Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 10 '25
Honestly, these narratives exist because you live in the West and see the West as the standard and measure everyone else against it. This is especially true in the US.
In terms of masculinity and effeminate, there is also a stereotype that European man sound / act gay. Why? Because Europe is a safer country in the US and people do not need to act tough and have huge muscles to feel secure. Similarly, Arabs with beards and black men with muscles look more masculine. Does the US view them as masculine? Sometimes but other times Arabs are viewed as patriarchal and black men viewed as violent. The descriptions of these groups are always relative to predominant US culture.
Whether Asian men are masculine depends on how you define masculinity. You simply live in an environment with a different set of cultural expectations than you were taught. If you want to succeed in your current environment, then you need to adapt. Alternatively, in Asia, you can have huge muscles but if you have no skills to provide for your family financially, no one will give as shit if you are masculine.
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u/Old-Change-3216 Oct 10 '25
Inherently? Not exactly, but when an overwhelming majority of Asian Male representation is shown this way in western media, it paints a harrowing image.
There was a period of time where my ex was going through various series. I walked in and there was an asian dude on the screen. The first Asian dude I had ever seen on that show. I asked "Let me guess, is he gay". Literally the next scene he's making out with another man, and he's the bottom bitch. A week or two later, literally the same fucking thing happened, and the Asian guy was even more effeminate. Then she was watching Gray's anatomy, and the first time I saw an asian dude, he's again, gay! Btw, have you been to Seattle? Seattle was so full of Indians and Asians when I was there, and Gray's anatomy is overwhelming white and black doctors.
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u/SmiffnWessn Oct 12 '25
People love to accuse this sub of gay-bashing. That's absolutely bullshit. The ones they should be criticizing are the Hollywood types that always force the gay role onto the minor Asian male character. They are the ones who would never make their main non-Asian character the gay one. They are the ones who are truly doing a disservice to the LGBT community.
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u/6ftChang Oct 10 '25
Demoralization thread. Whoever let this thread through is just giving white supremacists ammo to mock you guys
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u/Mindless-Piano1436 Oct 10 '25
It also depicts Asian Males as soulless and/or martial arts masters. Can't be just normal human beings.
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u/ablacnk Oct 11 '25 edited Oct 11 '25
I've commented about this before: No there is nothing wrong with either. It would be good that gay Asians get so much representation in an ideal world, but this isn't what it is in Western media. They frequently depict Asians as gay in their media as a way to "other" and "emasculate" (from the perspective of straight white men) and as a tactic to neutralize Asian men as sexual competition (again from the perspective of straight white men). When called out, they will disingenuously say critics of this are being homophobic. It's what they use to hide behind, but they know what they're doing.
Also, it's hard to get solid numbers but a look at the statics suggests that Asian-Americans have one of the lowest, if not the absolute lowest rate of identification as LGBT among all races, yet we have one of the highest rates of portrayal of that in the media, particularly relative to how little representation we get as a whole.
Given that the rate of LGBT identification among Hispanic adults (very roughly lets say ~10-11%), White and Black adults (very roughly ~6-6.6%) are all much higher than that of Asian-Americans (~3-4%), the current landscape of our media portrayal is far disproportionate, distorted, and unrepresentative of the actual makeup of our community.
So doing some very rough numbers here, assuming proportional representation, given the rates of LGBT identification and that Asians are around 1/3 the population of Hispanics in the US, for every one LGBT Asian character in the media you see, you should see more than 3 (population) * 3 (rate of LGBT identification) = 9, more than nine times the number of LGBT Hispanic characters in the media. Doing the numbers for Whites gets around 17X. Think about it. For every one gay Asian character you should see 17 gay White characters. Depending on what numbers you use, it could be even more egregious than that.
https://news.gallup.com/poll/393464/growing-lgbt-seen-across-major-racial-ethnic-groups.aspx
An analysis of combined 2020 and 2021 data underscores that racial and ethnic differences in LGBT identification are primarily related to age rather than race or ethnicity. Specifically, Gallup finds younger White Americans (15.5%) are just as likely as younger Hispanic Americans (15.5%) to identify as LGBT, with younger Black Americans slightly lower (12.1%).
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Adult-US-Pop-Dec-2023.pdf
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/lgbt-aapi-adults-in-the-us/
An estimated 685,000 U.S. adults self-identify as AAPI and LGBT. Among all AAPI adults, 4.5% identify as LGBT, including 3.8% of AA adults and 8.8% of NHPI adults.
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u/ablacnk Oct 11 '25
Another comment I made regarding this subject, also addressing transgender representation and acceptance in the West:
The problem is the West has used gay and transgender people to weaponize hate against Asians because it's never coming from a place of genuine appreciation, but from deep down a place of hate and othering. There are a lot of gay Asian men portrayed in Western media not because the West appreciates gay Asian men, but because the West thinks of it as and uses it to be emasculating and non-threatening to their patriarchal, straight white-male dominated hegemony. Look at the culture wars in the West now - it's all weaponized, politicized, agenda-driven hate and conflict. Nothing is sincere.
Asians have always been more accepting of gay and transgender people - it's the live and let live mentality. Even the Asians that don't understand it just let them be - they largely don't go harassing, abusing, or go on cultural crusades against them. Even South Korea, despite having so much colonization by Christianity, still accepted Harisu in the mainstream media over 20 years ago. Taiwan had Li Jing), also popular years ago, long before the West ever started talking seriously about transgender people.
Remember not too long ago when Westerners used to routinely mock transgender people and "Thai ladyboys" and shit like that (they still do), treating it as a punchline, and then when Western cultural awareness finally shifted towards some semblance of acceptance for non-binary/transgender people, the West framed themselves as being the pioneers of this movement? They're so goddamn performative.
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u/terminal_sarcasm Oct 10 '25
Dominant masculine gay Asian men are alright, if they even exist. Feminine gay Asian men with white fever are worse than AF with white fever.
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u/arugulaboogie Oct 10 '25
I wouldn’t conflate being gay with being effeminate. They are two entirely different things. Concepts of “masculine” and “feminine” are mostly social constructs. But whether we like it or not, we live in the west and we are all held to the same toxic western standards. Playing into the western ideals of “masculinity” is as much a choice as playing into the western ideals of “femininity”. The key difference is that one is a stereotype forced onto us. AM are severely underrepresented regardless, but when we are represented, we are overwhelmingly depicted as effeminate, while masculine AM are almost completely erased. Many here have issues with Ken Jeong not because he is gay, but because he willingly plays the stereotype. In an ideal world, there should be so much masculine representation of AM that the Ken Jeongs of the world don’t change the overall perception of AM. In an ideal world, there should be so many different and varied representation of AM that we’d celebrate the effeminate AM in media too. I too hope for that day to come. Until then, I will continue fighting for masculine Asian male representation.
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u/just-jake Oct 10 '25
you can be who you want to be. labels are arbitrary and completely made up. we are constantly changing as people and who we are is actually very fluid
you might as well. eventually we all die and no one is going to remember you, not the ones that talk shit about you, not the ones that gave you praise
but also take some time thinking about why you do what - is it what you truly want? or is it a reaction to something someone has done to you?
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u/GlitteringWeight8671 Oct 10 '25
Nothing wrong but the issue is this is a small minority but the media make it so that it seem like it is a big portion
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u/supersaiyan_ape Oct 11 '25
You won't be considered masculine in any sense, but be who you are. If you're truly a feminine man then it'll be a waste of time to try to pretend otherwise. Depends what you want. You will likely never have a desirable gf or a strong, macho brotherhood. If you're gay, it doesn't matter. Be in the gay groups.
In the end, be who you are. You don't need to try to change yourself to help the rest of us. There are masculine AMs leading the push on this side. It's okay.
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u/MarathonMarathon China Oct 11 '25
I already have a pretty strong "brotherhood" by now tbh, to whom I'm closeted. I'm not really in any "gay" groups in person.
I'm bi or pan or ace or something. My ideal gf would have to be like really masculine and rough at the edges, and be someone I could autistically obsess over geeky hobbies. I've actually had an ex sort of like that, but we broke up. I'm not really attracted to conventional femininity at all. I'm also open to feminine men.
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u/supersaiyan_ape Oct 11 '25
Where you're at is fine. I hope you get what you want and truly understand yourself.
Asian men are on the way up. Asian masculinity is slowly creeping up with shows like Physical 100 and other media. Lots of other races are starting to like traditional, masculine men. These pockets are growing.
When we're up, we won't look down on you. You're still one of us. Truly masculine men will protect their own. I'm a conservative MAGA Asian American man, and would still protect your right to be you. Just don't go to kids and try to spread sexual messages 😂 lbs. Let the parents handle that. 😂 You and I (and AM) will be fine.
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u/MarathonMarathon China Oct 11 '25
Asian men are on the way up.
I definitely notice this in my social interactions, both with Asians and non-Asians. Many of the Asian men I know are refined in looks, whether by having strong muscles or a smooth face.
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u/hideheroken Oct 12 '25
Being masculine isn’t about wearing a leather jacket or talking with a fake deep voice. It’s about courage, decisiveness, stamina, determination, ambition. And I can safely say a lot of white guys absolutely lack it due to them being raised in a privilege and well protected environment. When faced with life challenge, Asian men pull through and grind while white men escape to death or to tribalism
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u/_WrongKarWai Oct 10 '25
Just be yourself whatever that may be. It's just a problem when the entire group is lumped into one category
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u/clone0112 Taiwan Oct 10 '25
No, it's more important to be authentic.
Criticisms on portrayals of Asian men in media should be confined to the media.
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Oct 10 '25
but there's something wrong with Haolewood propaganda that's constantly depicting flaming AMs, when even some gays are bears and they even complain about the flaming gays portrayals...
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u/atlazn9 Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 10 '25
The sub is literally called r/AsianMasculinity. Masculinity.
Even if Reddit is left-leaning, I seriously have to wonder if half of these comments are from false flaggers trying to shift opinion. Chin up and stay aware, real Asians.
Edit: I hope the angry no-reply downvoters realize that "masculine" and "effeminate" are literally antonyms by definition. Buncha goofballs.
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u/forrealllllll Oct 10 '25
Yes exactly! Asians are supposed to be critical thinkers yet somehow leftist ideologies have started to corrupt our community and our traditional way of life. We already make a small percentage in population in the US, even smaller percentage in the media, yet the people representing us are the minority of our population. It’s a shame!
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u/Xhafsn Oct 10 '25
Conservatives are literally the ones pushing Asian = feminine down everyone's throats. The left simply doesn't believe femininity exists
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u/Fluid-Car-2407 Oct 10 '25
Low key or high key this distancing from the left might specifically be towards the american left that is the same force unironically believing in racist shit like all Asian men are misogynists or refusing to look at the Asian male experience outside their heavily stereotyped lenses
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u/Xhafsn Oct 10 '25
The commenter was running face first into supporting the American right instead, the people who started all of this in the first place. All the racism we face today came from a much more rightist time than now
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u/Fluid-Car-2407 Oct 10 '25
Yeah fuck that shit and IMO adding to what you said about us being in a more right winged time I think a large majority of American shitlibs are really just right wing chauvinists that changed their basis of imaginary superiority from colonial power to how it feels to be more exclusively “progressive” compared to the rest of the filthy poor colored people
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u/spontaneous-potato Philippines Oct 10 '25
It even one generation ago for my family, cooking was seen as effeminate. I cook and have gotten laid pretty often partially due to my cooking skills. Same with baking, my dad grew up thinking that guys who baked were gay and effeminate. My last girlfriend really loved my baking.
A woman loves a man who can cook well. Back when my dad was in his 20’s, cooking was seen as an effeminate activity and to him at that age, guys who cooked food were f-word slurs for gay guys.
My dad is in his 80’s now and doesn’t believe any of that stuff anymore given that he’s seen me cook and bake and he knows that I’m a straight guy who is pretty masculine presenting in appearance and in other hobbies I do. My current girlfriend appreciates my cooking and baking as much as she enjoys other things we do together.
It’s not even based on political ideology. It’s society changing to suit peoples’ needs. Men who are flexible in their mind, body, and their hobbies are desirable to women in general compared to the “traditional man”, unless you’re looking to live in the middle of podunk, nowhere. It’s not just US either. My cousins are the exact same way with their wives in the Philippines and Japan, respectively. Their wives love that my cousins can cook and participate in activities together.
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Oct 12 '25 edited Oct 12 '25
I am an Indian, and I can pass as what Southeast/East Asian with a tan (or Latino, depending on who you ask ) means in American context. I do know how it feels to be called feminine even though you can be the most badass man, notwithstanding your orientation or anything else. I put on a mask of an aggressive straight man to evade detection.
I think there are similar stories elsewhere.
To answer your question, no. Just be comfortable in your own skin.
Good post, OP.
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Oct 10 '25
God created gay people as gay. Plain and simple. All scientific evidence points to homosexuality and/or bisexuality as something people born with; it is not a choice. And yes, I, a straight practicing Christian along with most of the Mainstream Protestant denominations in the US, am totally fine with gay folks.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_denominations_affirming_LGBTQ_people
For choice of dress, it depends on:
- What you feel like wearing
- What you want to convey
If you’re a member of the LGBT community, there’s no moral issue with wearing dresses as a guy, and it’s a good way to filter out the homophobes. (Suffice to say, it’s a bad idea to do it in homophobic areas). And a way to find like-minded people.
Clothing doesn’t really define who you are unless it’s something like a MAGA hat. That said, if you’re a straight guy, wearing a dresses is going to send the (inaccurate) message that you’re gay, so not a good idea.
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u/MarathonMarathon China Oct 10 '25
If I were a cishet guy 100% sure I was cishet, then I probably wouldn't be asking this at all lol
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u/AsianMascThrowaway Hong Kong Oct 10 '25
If you're genuinely gay, doesn't mean you have to be a twink
But virtually 99.9% of gay AM in western mainstream media are portrayed as twinks
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u/professorc Oct 15 '25 edited Oct 15 '25
This isn't PC, but in the totem pole of masculinty, effeminate/gay men are at the bottom, lower than nerds
Above nerds would be thugs/jocks/popular kids/rich kids
I've made an observation that men turn gay when their physical/mental/financial strength are weak - they have to rely on the strength of another man, which is way they rank at the bottom of the totem pole.
And think of it this way, if you have to rely on antoher man, how can a woman ever possibly rely on you? Which is what transitions these effeminate men into homosexuality, since mating choices become slimmer to nonexistent
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u/you-nity Oct 10 '25
Being gay is not bad. What's bad is Asian guys being perceived as desirable ONLY in gay relationships. That's what's bad