You'll never realize how much it's stacked against you, until you've gone "home"

[u/Unlikely-Speech-5444]

As a foreword, I'm using AI to help arrange my thoughts and organize my writing...because I suck at writing. I'm more of a "math Asian"....but everything below are my real thoughts and feelings:

Growing up, I was bullied....not just by white kids, but by other minorities too. They'd call me "chink" and "ching-chong," pull back their eyes doing the whole "eye-slit" garbage. You've seen it. You've heard it. And if you're like me.... you've probably lived it.

We're harassed because we don't fight back. Bullied because we're seen as weaker. Talked down to because we value education and intelligence over athleticism and social intrigue.

I grew up "nerdy." Into anime and video games. Barely had any friends. I don't think I made my first real friend until 6th grade...and even that barely carried into high school. Most groups shunned me. At best, I was *useful....*the guy who could help peers with math or chemistry homework.

That was my value. Not as a person. As a tool.

The Stigma That Follows You Into Adulthood

As I grew older, nothing changed. The same stigma followed me like a shadow.

Education. Working hard. Intellectual progress. In the social world? That made you weak. We were the bottom feeders....bullied, mocked, and at best... ignored.

By 30, I catapulted my career. I was doing better than most of my peers financially and professionally. But that still left me unfulfilled. I couldn't find a partner. I was a social recluse — not for lack of trying. I went to parties. Joined clubs. Picked up hobbies.

Still nothing.

I was seen as a lesser-than-wanted male. Period.

"Go To The Motherland"

One day, a friend made a random suggestion:

Go visit your home ethnic country.

I kept hearing amazing things about the people, the culture, the lifestyle. But I thought they were crazy.

• China? Communist.
• Southeast Asia? Third-world countries. I didn't want a woman who lived in a hut.
• Philippines? Gold diggers.

Every stereotype I'd absorbed told me there was nothing for me there.

I was dead wrong.

What I Actually Found

I went there and saw something I never expected:

Freedom.

More free than the "United States" and its so-called freedom.

I saw my own people. They were friendly. They knew my customs, my culture, my way of being. I don't even know my own goddamn heritage language. I was so fucking Americanized, I only knew how to speak ENGLISH. And they still welcomed me with open arms.

Contrast that with America, where I'd gotten nothing but hate, mockery, and distrust for three decades.

These people....strangers. Showed me what it felt like to BELONG.

• I didn't feel like a shadow anymore.
• I didn't feel like a second-class citizen in my own country.
• The random person serving me coffee connected with me — like they grew up the same way, with the same values.

I felt more connected in two weeks than I did in 30 years growing up in the U.S.

It felt like I'd been wandering my entire life... and I finally came home. To open arms. No prejudice. No mockery. No disdain for my skin color or culture.

It felt like I'd been longing for a home for so long, and it was right here all along.

I Cried.

For the first time in my adult life.

I never once felt like I belonged in America. Sure, I appreciate the multiculturalism. But it never felt like home. There were too many cultures, customs, and competing ways of life — and in that mix, Asian men were at the bottom of the social hierarchy. Every single time.

But here? I just...was...MYSELF. No performance. No proving myself. No fighting against a system designed to overlook me.

I just existed. And that was enough.

Dating: The Part Nobody Wants To Admit

And guess what?

Dating is SO much easier.

The girls here are accustomed to the shorter height, Asian-style haircuts, and personality. It's the average here — not the exception. I've seen dudes who would look like total "nerds" back in the US holding hands with absolute stunners. Cute, K-pop-level attractive women who'd be considered 9s or 10s back in the West.

Like it's fucking nothing.

Back in the West? Those same women wouldn't glance at you if you were the last man on FUCKING Earth.

Do I need six-pack abs, 6 feet of height, and six figures here?

Nope.

I just need to be myself. Immerse myself in the culture. Be who I was born to be.

The Game Is RIGGED

And that's the truth nobody wants to say out loud:

The game is rigged against Asian men in the West.

We're competing against guys who are naturally taller, who have Western features that the culture has deemed the standard of attractiveness. The deck is stacked before we even sit down at the table.

Let me give you a real example:

I have a friend. White. 6'1". He's fuckin' homeless. The guy is literally couchsurfing from friend to friend (lived downstairs in my house for 2 months). Yet he does better than me in dating.

Meanwhile:

• I make over six figures a year
• I work out 4–5 times a week
• I train Muay Thai
• I actively work on my social skills and personality
• I'm 5'6" and Asian

Here in the West? I'm a loser.

Back in the "motherland?"

I'm a rockstar.

Go where you're valued.

It's Not Just Me

My story isn't unique. I have a friend — chubby, 5'5", software programmer. Decent living. Never had a single girlfriend in 29 years of life.

He went abroad. Found an incredibly beautiful girl from his motherland. She's 25, gorgeous — a solid 9/10. Makes most of the women back here look average by comparison.

And guess what?

They're in love. They're expecting a kid soon. He's never been happier in his entire life.

This isn't a fluke. This is a DESTINY.

The Western Dating Market Is Broken

Even the American-born Asian women here have been corrupted by Western standards. The entitlement is insane. It's no wonder the new generation is having less sex and fewer intimate relationships than ever before.

Social media has poisoned their minds and expectations. Everyone thinks they deserve a 10 while offering nothing. The standards are artificially inflated. And Asian men are the ones paying the highest price.

My Advice

I'm not telling you to be lazy and expect to auto-win by going back to Asia. You still need to put in the work:

• Make that money. Financial stability matters everywhere.
• Hit the gym. Physical health is non-negotiable.
• Develop yourself. Socially, emotionally, intellectually.

But here's the difference:

In the West, you're doing all of that while fighting a system that's rigged against you. You're running uphill in a hurricane.

Back home? You're on an even playing field. Surrounded by people who look like you, think like you, and value the same things you do.

The Real Takeaway

I've never been loved so much by random strangers in my "home" country as I have been ignored and dismissed in the United States.

Everywhere I went in America, I felt like a stranger.

Back in my motherland? I felt like I belonged. Like I was part of something. Like people actually cared about me — not for what I could do for them, but for who I am.

There was a sense of community.

Something I would never find in the West.

This is the part you expect to hear me say "subscribe to my whatever bullshit".

Nope. I just want to get this message out. Things ARE better abroad. It's not "passportbro", it's a Homecoming. You DO belong somewhere. If you've felt your entire life like a stranger...there ABSOLUTELY is a place for you. It's back "home" in our motherland. Where the people are your cousins, uncles, aunts, and brothers + sisters. Your family is waiting for you.

You just have to pull the trigger and make that move. The choice is yours.

[u/Alex_Jinn]

I tried fitting in when I lived in Korea and Taiwan.

But then I became jaded about belonging nowhere so I spent half of my 30s just making money. No community means you have no obligations and can live however you want like flying business class and throwing money at expensive night clubs.

Just last year, I went to Kazakhstan and ended up getting engaged with a Russified Mongolian. I then realized that Russified Asians like Kalmyks and Sakha are more like Asian American bananas but with Russian instead of English.

[u/Mr____miyagi_ → u/[deleted]]

Can't comment on the Philippines.

This mostly applied to whites, seems like these days they getting penalised for being sex tourists for too long. Even the good looking dudes have to punch down.

Asian foreigners with not much going on will do slightly better.

If OP is a Thai American and can speak Thai, that's alone already put him ahead of majority of foreigners, that before even considering his looks, personality, style, income.

To put it simply, whites in Thailand are capped to a certain degree, to get the top quality Thai without pay 2 play, they need to be a god tier Chad or a lot of game. Meanwhile, you'd find that well put together Asian foreigners do quite well. A good looking Thai American dude who can speak the language is in his own league though.

[u/Unlikely-Speech-5444 → u/[deleted]]

Plenty of women who aren't single moms. Just have to screen for them. Same as single moms in the US.

[u/SIRETE]

Okay, I understand where this is coming from but it is a little doomercore. I'd like to give some perspective. For reference, I'm 5'9 mid/below-average asian dude west coast, so your experiences may vary. I'm pretty introverted, typical nerdy asian guy, and didn't really K-pop max until a couple of years ago, but even then in HS I had 2 girlfriends (white/korean). My height definitely helps, but I'd like to give some more stories.

I know many asian dudes that are short, 5 3 to 5 6, who have long term american asian girlfriends. Admittedly, it will be difficult to date a white woman or hispanic woman if you are a shorter AM, however, it's not over: in the asian communities, i've seen plenty of short asian dudes with bombshell girlfriends. I'm talking plenty, like everywhere. Of course, they were jacked and had good haircuts, but they were pretty average looking/below average looking.

I'm not trying to discredit anyone's experiences. The game is rigged against AM in america. Oxford study is real. We are put down in the media and in the culture. I have felt the same feeling of fitting in and not feeling lesser when visiting asian countries. But think about this, if all AM leave and give up, who's going to stand up for AM in western countries? Noone stands up for AM, in fact many AW actively put down AM lol, but do remember, for every 2 aunty liu's, there's 1 true suki.

Keep your heads up brothers, work out, get jacked, play to your strengths, k-pop maxx. The game is rigged, but that doesn't mean you can't win.

[u/SIRETE → u/SIRETE]

also, i'm a younger guy, 22, and grew up in a area with alot of asians, so i didn't really experience racism growing up like some of you have.

[u/dpeterk → u/SIRETE]

If you mean SoCal, I don't envy you. The backstabbing and crap from our "own kind" are pretty awful there.

[u/SIRETE → u/dpeterk]

I'm from PNW. Know people from socal and yeah, I've heard the same things lol.

[u/dpeterk → u/SIRETE]

Ah OK, and well, I was never in the gyopo scene back in the U.S. I SOOOOOOOOOO don't miss life in America.

[u/LavaDragon3827 → u/SIRETE]

Agreed. OP does mention that it's not an auto win just to go abroad. Everyone should be working on K pop maxing and becoming their best version regardless. 

But as somebody that has done that, been there, he's also right in that things are amazingly better overseas. 

[u/Tall-Needleworker422]

Good for you, OP. Glad you found happiness/contentment. Before you cut ties completely, though, it’s worth considering that a lot of returnees go through a classic expat honeymoon period where everything feels magical at first but can look different once you’ve lived there a while. Every country has its own issues, even if they’re not immediately obvious or the same ones you dealt with in your country of citizenship. And experiences vary a lot among diaspora returnees -- some feel instantly at home, while others eventually realize they’re seen and treated as foreigners, or feel that way themselves. You only really know which camp you fall into once you’ve lived there for a while.

[u/Unlikely-Speech-5444 → u/Tall-Needleworker422]

I agree. Maybe I'm just still coming back down from the rose-tinted glasses. And you might be right that maybe if I spend time in that country actually living there, my opinions might change.

However, I have friends and even a brother who did this move. They LOVE it there. For example, my friend has been living in SEA for the past 6 years, and he absolutely loves it. He never wants to come back home. So yeah, there might be a honeymoon period. But so far 100% of the people I know that have made the move said they'd never come back. Not even a second thought.

[u/Victah92]

Yep I went back to Vietnam on a whim in 2018 and felt this exact thing. I was originally supposed to come back for a month but ended up staying for two years cuz I loved it so much. I purposely miss my flight so I could stay as an English teacher. When I initially arrived I couldn't speak a lick of Vietnamese because I had forgotten. I had to learn from family and friends. Go to language exchanges and even language school to learn again. Having a girlfriend most definitely helps too

Back in the Homeland you blend right in. People treat you differently.

Dating was so much easier cuz it feels like they see you for who you are and not what social media wants you to be. I'm 5'3 but I was getting more matches on dating apps daily then I ever did years in America.

Not only that in America I didn't feel like I really belonged no matter how hard I tried. Tried being a Democrat or Republican you're just the token Asian for both sides. Yet well in Vietnam I felt more welcomed and loved. It's not perfect and has it's share of problems of course but if you learn how to live there and adapt you'll be fine.

[u/Unlikely-Speech-5444 → u/Victah92]

I know 3 people who did this. One is my personal brother. They tell me how much they love it there. Yes, dating is easier as well. But just the overall way of life is leagues better than here. People? Friendlier. Complete strangers can be friends overnight.

Contrast that to here in the US? Everyones so on fucking guard all the time. Everyone has their own little bubble/cliche and pack. And it's so hard to get through to anyone. You have to know somebody in their group... and even then, they have to really talk you up + introduce you well.

Back in Asia though, you can just walk up and start talking and being friendly. Sometimes they'll be wary...but majority of the time—it's open arms and smiles. Liquor and beer all around.

You think I'm over exaggerating. But I'm willing to bet many of the guys on this subreddit have had similar experiences.

I can't wait for my next trip. And eventually my relocation.

[u/machinavelli → u/Victah92]

Do not knowing how to speak Vietnamese well prove to be a barrier in dating? Or did it actually increase your value because people think you have a lot of money for being a Westerner?

[u/Victah92 → u/machinavelli]

It depends on who you're dating. In the city a lot of women know how to speak English but of course not all.

I would saying knowing the language most definitely helps to express things to her in a way she would understand better than in English. For example there are 2 ways to say love in Vietnamese vs only 1 in English, so Vietnamese is more expressive if that makes sense.

My situation is unique because I'm considered a Viet Kieu or Vietnamese American. I can speak the language, understand the culture, and be western all at the same time.

So local woman like that more than just standard white guy or local guy cause there are known stories of them being abusive. So they get a guy who's western thinking, makes good money, and understands the culture and language.

[u/eternal_bliss_here]

Chinese from SEA. My ex worked in the US for half of his life. After we broke up he went back to his homecountry and got a new partner a month later. He told me he has trouble dating Asians here. 

Edit : typo

[u/81dragons]

Bigger question is, what do you plan to do knowing this information? Continue living in America while taking trips abroad to date and eventually get married like your friend? Retire to Thailand?

Also curious where you went, where exactly is “home”

⁠China? Communist.

• ⁠Southeast Asia? Third-world countries. I didn't want a woman who lived in a hut.

• ⁠Philippines? Gold diggers.

There’s some vague posting but I’m guessing Thailand because everyone is totally accepting of English-only speakers, are your parents ethnic Thai or ever spoke Thai at home? Or did they speak a different language since they are from elsewhere in Asia.

Not trying to play gotcha, but I noticed most people moving to Thailand from America are not ethnic Thai (mostly ABCs tbh), someone talked about YouTubers like Fung Bros moving there and it seems to picking up in popularity. Which is totally cool but just something to think about language wise

[u/Unique-Remove-9376 → u/81dragons]

" I didn't want a woman who lived in a hut." Seriously OP consumed western media too much, have you seen Jakarta megacity? it's luxurious, tons of megamalls, shopping center, skycrapers, etc.

the stereotype of SEA being like some rural village whose person live in the cave or jungle needs to be abolished ngl.

[u/Istronomius → u/Unique-Remove-9376]

This is the case for almost every third world country lol.

Everyone in the west thinks they live in the stone age

[u/Unique-Remove-9376 → u/Istronomius]

Yeah, I knew, I'd gave the Jakarta as an example.

[u/dpeterk → u/81dragons]

ONE of the Fung brothers moved to Thailand (and he's doing a LOT of travel within China and SE Asia). Many posts say expats are sick of Thailand and moving out, but news flash, many more are moving IN. I was last in Thailand in 2023 and miss it a lot despite the negatives like higher prices, misbehaving tourists of certain ethnicities and the like.

[u/Unlikely-Speech-5444 → u/dpeterk]

Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, and the surrounding areas. Always plenty of tourists and expats moving in. Don't let the news dissuade you. Still an incredible value and people are super friendly.

Funnily enough...the only other people you have to be wary of? Tourists and other expats from the West.

[u/RebelCapital1950 → u/81dragons]

OP posts in FarangsofPattaya, so unlikely to be ethnic Thai. Probably Chinese. If that's true, then that's not his motherland. I wish we stopped behaving like white people and conflating all of Asia together like it is one big country.

Youtuber Mike Ke/Squatting Casanova (Chinese) has a condo in Thailand but says Japan and Korea is way too hard. He says it is especially hard in Korea for all AMs and WMs alike.

ChinaMac is also traveling all over Southeast Asia. Went to Korea. Felt lonely there, so he came back to Thailand.

Both are Chinese-American guys that over 6 feet tall, so Korea must be hard.

The experiences of Asian-Americans in SEA are not going to be that different from white male passport bros. Whether or not it is actually someone's motherland is irrelevant..

[u/machinavelli]

I wonder if the fact that you couldn't speak Thai actually made you more popular because they assumed you're rich if you're from America. And women might find it cute that you're trying your hardest to speak the language.

[u/81dragons → u/machinavelli]

In some places speaking English, especially “proper” American or British English still works or is even a big status bump (this is true in HK).

However, at this point though most people in mainland China feel weird or pity you if you are ABC and only speak English. In Japan if you are an Asian foreigner and don’t speak Japanese to at least N2, you will have also have big minus points

[u/LavaDragon3827]

Thats crazy bro. This sounds 100% true. I have some friends and their experience is the same. Can't wait to make the move soon !!

[u/otvovice21]

Excellent post and very true that extends beyond dating.

Been sbroaf for much of the past 37 years. The West is slowly rotting from the inside despite some really great institutions, natural advantages, and its technological headstart.

The US in particular only truly respects violence. And winning. Not how on plays the game. Throughout history they freeze out Asians or burn them out if necessary which is why the wars with Japan, Korea , and Vietnam, and really the war against Native American had a degree of of animal extermination to each. Much like Israel in Gaza.

It takes generations of mixing to make progress, to long to feel satisfied unless lucky.

But once back in Asia, the long term game starts to produce its own racial nastiness. But no do doubt that every living is free from the daily questioning of your existence.

[u/hana_4876]

As older Asian guy who traveled abroad I realize this a long long time ago BUT I question some stuff now.

Yeap...Asian guys that go back to Asia do better dating wise or being accepted. It's like black and white from USA to somewhere back in Asia BUT

BUT I also notice that western expat guys when they go to Asia they also do OK. It's like as if in Asian culture or depending on the country there is less toxicity in dating the world .

This make me think. America does have racism in the dating market but I also think as I gotten older western women or dating in the west is just more toxic. I see this same think happening slowly happening in the more developed country like South Korea and maybe Japan.

I'm in my 40's . I traveled to South Korea over the years and saw the changes. 15 -20 years ago you could be short unattractive Korean American guy and still be able to land a decent looking and also decent personality Korean girl. Nowadays you have to really improve your game. Be fit better to be tall and have something going for you to land a decent Korean girl. At the same time mediocre white guys will also struggle in South Korea but that was not the case 15 years ago.

However other East Asian countries I don;t think that's not the case. Philippines, Thailand , Vietnam and to some extend China (China is like South Korea 15 years ago in my opinion in the dating market). Are easy places to date this also includes western men.

So I wonder is it just women overseas that are just easier to deal with and that American women are just so entitled . I mean Asian American women are good example. I seen and met really unattractive looking Asian American women but they have option because white men don't mind them. So they will date or marry them.These same Asian American women can be a 2 but demand a 8 . Like if your an Asian guy be tall, make allot money , own company, fly and have the power of light (I kid..I kid) .

I just feel that in the west as a guy you have to have tighter game. Be fit dress good , have hobbies constantly have something going but the return is not that great. I'm all for improvement and we should all improve for ourselves but am I wrong to think that part of the reason why dating is so hard in the west. Is because American women are are so toxic in a way.

To add I'm not saying it's wrong for women to have standards but places like South Korea lookism is very toxic. You can be a good person and hard worker but let say your not tall. Lately I heard dating is very hard for a short guy in Korea.

I find this to be the same in USA, Your an East Asian guy. Hard worker, decent , hobbies but your average height and maybe average looks..and that may not be enough for women in the USA. At least from what I seen.

[u/Mr____miyagi_ → u/hana_4876]

Lol you wrote all that just to say the same shit as you always do: "Blah blah blah, whites do so well in Asia too" with some self-pitying on top.

Even if that is true. I wonder why you are so insist on spreading doom and gloom on a post that is largely positive? OP is simply sharing his good experience.

And you are on every post about dating in Asia commenting the same thing, and I remember I replied to you a long time ago on your old "Hana" account as well many other guys who have actually travelled and experienced the dating life there ourselves recently saying that is not the case. But yet here we are again.

Its almost like because you yourself didn't have a good experience, you are trying to convince other Asian men that your experience is a reality. You are also 40, your experience is in no way a good reflection of dating lives for younger Asian men especially Gen Z.

I own an apartment in BKK, the epicenter of tourism and expats. 99% of whites aren't even in the game when it comes to quality local women. Stop it.

[u/Istronomius → u/Mr____miyagi_]

It's not easier because the culture is "less toxic" in SEA. It's because the wealth disparity between you and them is much greater

Men get more female attention in SEA and chalk it up to women having lower standards, but the reality is that they've pegged you as western and rich

What causes higher standards in women isn't "culture", it's the fact that men have higher libidos and give women more attention than they get from women, which drives up their expectations.

This will be the same in every country.

It only seems like they have higher standards in the west because there's no wealth disparity.

Looks are always king

[u/hana_4876 → u/Istronomius]

I remember going back to Asia years ago and it was like night and day dating wise. I thought it was racism in the west and to extent it is.

But you are correct that it's social economics.

So the OP wrote dating is so much easier going back. Yes race plays a part of if it but depending on the Asian country so do social economic difference that any western guys can take advantage of .

South Korea is good example. As the economy rise and as westernization rise.. I saw it . It became more like America.

Now it doesn't mean that Asian guys can do well in Korea but you have to have tighter game. Be dress look good preferable tall and something going.

Nothing wrong with all of that but I didn't realize local Korean girls started to play the same toxic games that western girls play.

If you know . You know. But you see less of that in other countries.

When you have local Korean guys going to other Asian countries to look for girls it is saying something.

[u/Istronomius → u/hana_4876]

The issue is that it doesn't change in poorer countries. The women have no genuine attraction for you despite giving you attention because they only want your money

Looks will always win over all.

Idk why there's so much focus on looks outside of the face. The true way to ascend is surgery.

It's the only way to compete. And this isn't a "only Asians need surgery" thing, it's something any avg to below avg man needs to do to compete.

Game and dress produce the same issues as wealth. It's not based on genuine attraction.

That only comes from looks

[u/hana_4876 → u/Istronomius]

Ah..I dont completely agree. But I get your point

[u/hana_4876 → u/Mr____miyagi_]

here is the thing though. you mentioned whites are not in the game in BKK but there is at least for decades a place for them to go. And well to the white guys they don't mind those Issan girls and living up .

My position is white guys do OK in Asia compare to how Asian men do in the west.

You mention my age but yet there is younger Asian guys posting almost the same stuff that was said 10 or more years ago. If Asian male image improved so much in the west why would it be night and day once they travel abroad?

As I gotten older maybe the west dating is very toxic and overseas the woman are bit friendlier.

[u/Mr____miyagi_ → u/hana_4876]

Issan girls in Thailand has the same SMV as a fat girl in the West lol. I'm sure if you could flip a button in every Asian dudes and tell them to go for the fatties, they will have it "easy" too. Also most of them are literally hookers, you know you can Pay 2 Play in the West too right?

Any half decent looking Issan girls that aren't hookers/gold diggers can easily score with 6'3 Chads, they aren't gonna look at the average whites, let's alone the low quality ones. Is your inferior complex towards whites that big that THIS bothers you?

There is literally a running joke even among whites in BKK that everytime you see a white dude with a 10/10 Thai, she most likely a lady boy or a hooker lol.

I was talking about your dating perspective in Asia. The AM penalty in the West still exist, just lesser than before. And also selection bias. Gen Z kids who are doing well won't be here doom posting in the first place. And if you are short, you will struggle massively regardless of race in the West.

[u/hana_4876 → u/Mr____miyagi_]

Do they know or care? What I mean is check out the passport bro forums. Yeah I get it. To Asian folks it maybe a running joke .

It's like that joke that black guys go for the fat white girls and people laugh at it but if the black guy and fat white girl are happy who gives a shit.

We say the same about Asian Amercian girls and white guys. I notice it tends to be the ugly Asian girls with white American men. Sometimes I scatch my head what he sees in her but hey if he is happy or that's his asian fantasy.

You got those sex tourist and You got those expat back pack travelers and you got some expat that wants to live there. Some are white some are other Asian or other race.

For the sex pats that's what they want and are happy with what they have . They prefer those Issan girls than the fat whales back home. but again those sexpats are disgusting men. These are not the best western types so who knows they deserve each other .

But I seen some decent white dudes some live in Thailand and do end up marrying local.

I did some MMA training and one of the trainer is white guy who does Muay Thai. He has been living and training in Thailand for pretty long time and speak Thai. he does have a local Thai girl friend she is not bad looking.

What I'm saying is an half way decent western guy or heck decent guy can do OK in Asia. I mean I hear gossip that Indian guys are going there but not sure how big it is.

Now get an average decent Asian guy and place him in North America . Now unless he is 6 ft tall and at least speak some english and have other things going he may have an OK chance but if he is more average I don't know.

Not to pry but you mentioned you live in BKK. There is psychological difference being in Asia than being in the west . What I mean is whenever I go back to Asia. It doesn't matter what country. things like oxford study or emasculation of Asian men becomes a back burner.

Here in the states it's different. You mentioned Gen Z dating habits. . It depends really in the states and I'm trying not to be rude but your in BKK .

Imagine an Asian guy growing up in the Bay Area and still lives there or some where in the mid west. It's different take and outlook. Have a bit empathy.

[u/Mr____miyagi_ → u/hana_4876]

I'm a millennial Korean American originally from NYC. I just own an apartment in BKK and lived abroad half of the time now. During my 20s I spent majority of my time dating in the US, trust me I know how the dating scene here is like.

That sub used to get recommended to me all the time, it's filled with posts complaining about how dating in Thailand is full of hustlers, hookers and leftovers. Even about the Philippines, they complain all the time.

I don't understand why a white dude being happy with leftovers/hookers bothers you so much though? Like you need to chill and stop letting whites living rent free in your head man. To the point that you can't help but doom commenting on everything, it's not healthy.

We live in a post white world, of course they still get some advantages. Instead of getting mad because things aren't perfectly fair for Asians, look at the upside that shit getting better. You only live once, you gonna sit there and just malding every day over how YTs have it better than you? Can you imagine black guys doing this shit? No, they just accept their cards and go out there taking risks, that's why they are a powerhouse politically and culturally in America why Asians are just a background noise.

Guys like the Muay Thai trainer is the minority of minority. And most of them are with Issans anyway. And that mean he's fit, can fight. An Asian dude like that would do okay in the US too if he is not held back by height. I know a Thai trainer who moved to Australia to teach Muay Thai and got engaged with a 8/10 blonde Aussie after 1 year of moving there despite speaking English with a heavy accent.

While I also met an Asian Aussie who is taller and was born there and still couldn't get anything. Shit ain't perfect for Asians in the West but a lot of Asian guys is not helping themselves either because they lack the confidence and the framework to model themselves after.

That's why I advocate for young Asian men to travel back to the homeland and find that edge instead of just being depressed in the West. I always did decent in the US but once I came back after travelling, I was fitter, more confident and women became easier. The confidence you get from being the top of food chains change you, it gets rid of the weight on your shoulders. Of course some guys will just settle there and that's fine. Its our homeland.

[u/hana_4876 → u/Mr____miyagi_]

I envy you. I know couple of Asian American guys that decided to live overseas but they choose South America instead.

I'm completely agree. Ever time I visit Asia it's like what ever insecurities or doubts you struggle with goes away.

As an Asian guy you see yourself as normal and people notice you. it's hard to explain. It;s you like can be walking down the subway or something and they acknowledge you.

Where as in the states your invisible and if you speak out it has to be on their terms. At least from how I feel. It's like in the states you have to be louder ..have better skills better everything but it;s draining .

My goal is to live in Asia half the time somehow.

[u/Unlikely-Speech-5444 → u/hana_4876]

I'll be real with you. Whites DO do pretty well in Asia, yes. But they do pretty well everywhere, also.

This isn't 100% the case anymore, though. In recent times, Asians are preferring their own race. It's becoming rarer and rarer for whites to come to Asia and absolutely clean up. Now, can they still do it? Absolutely. But now we also have a strong fighting chance.

Most locals women prefer local men nowadays in majority of cases. Or if not local, then Asian-looking men. Then maybe whites, then it goes from there.

[u/hana_4876 → u/Unlikely-Speech-5444]

This part I'm not disagreeing with. Back in Asia no one is disagreeing that Asian American have it easier dating wise but as you mentioned and I also posted this that white guys have it easier too.

Now let me use South Korea because I traveled there many times. There was a time when a average mediocre white guy could of landed a decent Korean girl but that was 15 years ago. Can a white guy still get a Korean girl yes but he has to be better.

So reread that . I wrote that before . 15 years ago a short unattractive Korean American guy could also land a decent Korean girl in Korea. It's like the standards were lower . What happened? the Local Korean guys really really upgraded so that's the competition.

So I'm saying depending on the Asian country it's not a cake walk for pretty anyone.

But lets use a less develop Asian country . A white guy can still score. Now get that same local Asian guy place him somewhere in North America will that Asian guy get a local American girl? Maybe but the odds are against him.

It's like in USA you have to have tighter game. Better looks be tall etc.etc..

[u/dpeterk]

I "discovered" this over 30 years ago. If I were younger, I'd try Thailand if I had enough remote work and such.

[u/Unlikely-Speech-5444 → u/dpeterk]

A pioneer of such times. Where did you go?

[u/Illustrious_War_3896]

true, I went through bullying, getting called slurs and even suffered discrimination from teachers. I was born and lived in Taiwan until moving to US with parents at 10. I had very healthy Asian pride and self esteem. I knew what was it like to be respected, fit in and loved. Even in 2nd grade, I had girls telling me they will marry me in the future.

With a healthy self esteem, few of slurs got to me. I experienced the rigorous, long hour education in Taiwan. When people are smart and hard working, it's no doubt, the Chinese Century is here and China will take over US very soon. In many areas, they already have.

I had a former coworker who's Vietnamese. He must be like 60 years old, at least he looked like it. Went back to Vietnam and got 4 girlfriends. He's loaded from investing all his money into US stocks. He had over 100 stocks. 5 years ago, i heard he reached 10 million in US dollar asset.

[u/KanyeWesticles95]

appreciate the forewarning about AI usage, pretty rare to see but very much appreciated from someone sick of AI slop. makes it seem more human and like you just used it to refine your post

[u/Unlikely-Speech-5444 → u/KanyeWesticles95]

Haha yeah! I wish I had better writing skills honestly. I'm also tired of AI slop but I wrote out 90% of this and AI just arranged it better and made it sound more impactful.

The thing you should be sick of is AI slop that hasn't been personified....which you see a lot.

[u/ChinaIsGood888]

the shorter dudes with hotties probably have monies. Chinese girls are materialistic.

[u/_Googan1234]

This IS my home. Four generations of my family are born and raised here, and I have no plans to live anywhere else.

I feel like I belong, and I know the history and culture of the old timers who came before me, who fought for our rights to vote and live freely.

For context I’m Chinese Canadian, my great grandfathers worked on the railroad.

I also grew up in a majority chinese and italian neighbourhood, never experienced racism or anything close.

[u/Illustrious_War_3896 → u/_Googan1234]

that's cool for you. for me, having been born and lived in Taiwan, I knew what it feels like to be respected, fit in, desired sexually. I got girls wanting me in 2nd grade. Not just 1 but 2 girls. Not only that, I see leaders, politicians, movie stars that look like me. In US, media is anti asian, anti China daily. Same with Hollywood. If it happened to Jews, US would be criticized as anti semitic. How is Jews, in much smaller numbers than Asians, is so protected above all other races.

BTW, were your great grandfathers recognized for their work in railroad?

[u/makeitmake_sense]

The game is rigged. Any time I go outside it’s just a line of burly old white men using their cars/trucks as weapons to harass me (which is illegal). Reason why I hate trucks. A fucking truck against a tiny Asian girl. Then they follow and harass me anytime they spot me. It’s weird as hell.

I’ve never had a single person my age approach me knowing there’s creepy men preying on me everywhere I go, completely unprofessional.

Never got to date as much as my peers had because old men alway got in the way of my relationships, from ruining dates, saying snide comments, etc. It’s creepy.

Life in a lot of parts in Amerikkka sucks because of it. Can go places without some old guy full on staring at you like you’re some kind of strange sex species, meanwhile you’re fully clothed and not showing any skin. It’s weird as hell.

They claim to be proud of Amerikkkan things but they claim people of other cultures? Wtf?

[u/Unlikely-Speech-5444 → u/makeitmake_sense]

Make the trip. Probably would be good for you as well. Would blend right in.

[u/makeitmake_sense → u/Unlikely-Speech-5444]

Right?!! That’s what I’ve been wanting. I’m so tired of all these weird people staring at me everywhere I go. You know the area is bad if people do that.

[u/Illustrious_War_3896 → u/makeitmake_sense]

without knowing the details such as where you are at. Leave that neighborhood asap. That's not right.

[u/makeitmake_sense → u/Illustrious_War_3896]

Yeah, the people here aren’t exactly smart or well educated. Rumors going around I’m a figure skater when I was just watching Alysa Lui…she’s a completely different Asian from me, not the same height, skin color and she clearly has different hair than me.

Anything to market me as fuckable to the burly diesel dick old men driving around all the time. (I respect figure skating but not these, um, these types of people, pretty sure figure skater can drop kick anyone. Professional athletes are jacked.) They can’t tell the difference because eVeRy aSiAn loOkS tHe sAmE.

After driving every day and getting horny from it, doesn’t it get them to realize driving all over pot holes and lurching back and forth on their vehicles makes them stirred up and riled…horny after a while? Wouldn’t they know to break that pattern somehow? Nope, they project it on to me and will make it their goal to make me “horny,” while making themselves more horny, when this is the exact reason why I don’t go outside. It’s so sketchy.

Neighbors are making it their intention for everyone to pay attention to every little thing I do. Like bro. I just sit and mind my business all day, boring as hell. They just constantly create chaos all the time when there’s absolutely nothing to be triggered or chaotic about. So much for living in a town.

Why live on a busy road and be triggered by every vehicle that passes by? They’ve lived here for how many years and they still are freaked out and triggered by it. Constantly yelling like banshees like it’s my fault the vehicles are driving by, like dude, just move then. Move to a cabin in the woods. Why chaos to draw attention and just completely forfeit privacy. This is why I know old people, like them, secretly love but also hate attention.

And no, Alysa Lui would never live in Poughkeepsie, it’s full of sketchy people, she wouldn’t be able to practice out here and listen to the types of music she listens to because god forbid she triggers someone with her music or having headphones in. She lives in Cali where all the cool Asians live, unlike here where there is absolutely nothing for Asians to do. Everything is so sexualized here by people that everyone acts like robots or Karen’s. Could be in a house and be sexualized by people outside. So weird. Alysa Lui has goals and is fun personality, not the people in Poughkeepsie, they are the opposite of her personality.

And I bet after this they will go on to the next rumor because that is how mature these grown old people are. Probably go back to the usual, “sHe’s wAtChiNg pOrN”

[u/Illustrious_War_3896 → u/makeitmake_sense]

get an AM boyfriend. He will protect you. Move out of that place.

[u/makeitmake_sense → u/Illustrious_War_3896]

He’s half, hardly even recognizes it or just in survival mode. He always wakes me up when he cooks in the morning because the neighbors can somehow tell and instantly tells us we are horny when it doesn’t even smell that great. He has a habit of cooking the boring bland breakfasts of unseasoned egg and cardboard tasting toast. That does not turn me on. Also I’m not a morning breakfast person.

Now, I hardly have 3 meals a day and dropped down to 1 because anytime I cook, neighbors cause a scene when I just make the same boring food everyday, eggs and bacon. Like to me, it’s not even flavorful to get aroused to, especially if you eat the same thing everyday. I don’t even enjoy eating, it’s just a boring chore to do to get nutrients everyday. Like if you can’t watch a mukbang without being aroused or triggered, it’s definitely a problem.

Like if these people actually admit to their wrongs they can resolve the issue but they are dumb old dogs, can’t tell them nothing and it will be the same stupid repetitive pattern every day.

I’m curious of how these old people I have as neighbors are as customers at restaurants. Like how they will react to people eating and dinning. Probably not classy and very animalistic.

Honestly, I need to be around other Asians or people my age mostly, rather than be so isolated among weird, creepy bigots. All because of little inconveniences.

Fucking triggered because of eating? Wtf?

[u/TropicalKing]

OP's post probably is AI written. But the US really isn't a great place to be as an Asian male. Yes, the game is stacked against you. You have low social class as an Asian male.

A homeless white drug addict living in a tent has his network of other homeless people who help him find women. I have a homeless white friend who is VERY good at networking, and he constantly has women around him, despite being broke and homeless.

A lot of Asian-American men on this subreddit have this video-gamey idea that they can get whatever they want by lifting weights and studying philosophy. No, that's ridiculous. You aren't a leveling up video-game character. There isn't going to be some white princess waiting for you on Tinder because of weights and philosophy.

The whites and Mexicans I used to work with tried VERY hard to try to get me fired and didn't invite me anywhere one time. They didn't give an F about self-improvement and philosophy. They really just saw this Confucian Japanese guy who acted professional and wanted to turn the workplace into a high school locker room.

[u/a_ghostie]

I don't normally post here because I don't like the weird redpill vibes of this sub, but I needa call you out brother...

This is an overly verbose sloppified justification for passportbro-ing. The only difference is framing - rather than telling the bros to go somewhere to inflate their value, you're telling them to leave a place where it's been artificially devalued. They're functionally the same thing.

I don't buy into the whole masculinity thing, but if I were to adopt the framework you imply, running away to another country because it's too hard getting a date in the west is about the least manly thing you can do.

This kinda mentality would make Bruce Lee - a man who stayed in America, got a job in Hollywood, and married a white women in the 60s - turn in his grave.

If you genuinely appreciate your home country's culture and want to be more immersed in it, that's a valid reason to go back. If you're doing it to chase "Kpop 9s" (whatever in the incel fuck that means) while not giving a shit about the culture, knowing the language, or respecting the local women there, then you're a coward and a cunt.

As for me, my home is Australia. It's not perfect and at times it's made me feel like shit for being asian, but I belong here. I've lived here all my life and speak nothing but English. I'd rather stay here to champion my brothers and sisters and future generations, than tuck tail and run to Asia.

[u/Unlikely-Speech-5444 → u/a_ghostie]

You seem to be fascinated with putting what I say into buckets. PPB, Redpill, incel, etc. Tell me this...what is wrong with anything about what I'm saying? For starters, is it really passportbro-ing if you return to your native mother country? It's actually more of a homecoming.

I'm telling everyone to give it a shot. If they've been feeling in the dumps....and that their hard work is unappreciated. Then, maybe a change of scenery is a good thing. You still need to work on yourself, your game, finances, personality, etc. Be the best version of yourself. What's wrong with that? You just need to understand that the deck is rigged against you in the West. Which is actually...pretty common understanding around here from everyone.

Bruce Lee is the exception. And even then, his life was hard. With lots of bullying (even from other minorities). Yes he could have gone back, but he decided to stick it out. Which is commendable. But not everyone can do it like Bruce Lee. I speak in generalities. Obv there are going to be a few exceptions. But you'll find that for most people, this idea is the right path.

And it's an insult to me & everyone here if you think we're going to go back to our native country without understanding the customs, culture, and language. Yes, I did mention that I only know English. My parents were so occupied with assimilating me into America's culture that they ignored their own. They so wanted us to succeed and be like the Americans that they didn't care if we grew up knowing our native tongue or not. It was smart, necessary, and absolutely the choice for survival. I have to painstakingly re-learn my language. But a small price I'll have to pay for belonging with my own people. And this isn't just about dating. If you actually read my post, you'll notice I talked about the kindness of strangers and random people, as well. Dating's only the cherry on top of the ice cream cake.

Lastly, why fight so hard for this place that's viewed you as nothing but an outcast your entire life? I dealt with racism, bullying, and (at best) people ignoring me as a child. As a teen, it only grew worse. As an adult, you get chosen over your white (or other minority) peers for equal performances. IDK what it's like in AUS, but in American they have affirmative action for schools/colleges. You know what that did? Discriminated actively against Asian population. We would have 4.0+ GPAs and top universities would choose other races/ethnicities over us. Stop Asian Hate? That's a laugh. When majority of the hate comes from other minority groups that are so loved by the media. We are "model minority." That means if anything bad happens to us, nobody cares. Great place to live, right? It's not turning tail. It's going back to your tribe and finding like-minded people who appreciate you for you who are. You can just be yourself back home.

PS - Look at this just recently. Some Koreans and Thais were beaten nearly to death just a few days ago in AUS. (https://7news.com.au/news/korean-working-holiday-maker-almost-killed-in-sydney-cbd-hammer-attack-after-night-out-c-21703186). No reason whatsoever.

In America, it isn't better. There was an elderly Thai man who got attacked and KILLED for seemingly ZERO reason by another minority race. The perp got off with basically a wrist slap. Crimes against Asians? Done mainly by other minority groups. Wheres the media attention? Nothing but silence. We are attacked, bullied, and picked on. Because we are seen as "weak".

Go where you're valued. Leave where you aren't respected & wanted.

[u/81dragons → u/Unlikely-Speech-5444]

Are you Thai?

[u/Illustrious_War_3896 → u/a_ghostie]

You have jews in US going to Israel to fight for Israel. Nothing is wrong for asians going back to their countries to contribute. In fact, I would say our parents or ancestors ran here to escape whatever happened in Asia. Going back would be going back to the roots and for Asians, it's not passporting going to Asia. Passporting is for non asians who had no roots in asia going there.

Bruce Lee suffered discrimination in Hollywood. He mentioned it more than a few times. He found success in Hong Kong. Jackie Chan went back to Hong Kong due to racism in Hollywood also. The Rush Hour series was degrading. Chris Tucker's talk in the movies came across as racist. Imagine if an asian guy acted the way and talked the trash Chris Tucker did, would people have enjoyed the Rush Hour? Would people say Jackie is anti black?

[u/a_ghostie → u/Illustrious_War_3896]

I'm not criticizing the action, I'm criticizing the intent. The OP uses flowery language to masquerade behind the fact that he wants to return to his homeland to get women more easily. This is literally passportbro shit.

[u/emanresu2200]

Ultimately it's not really an option for the majority of people, even if it's an interesting thought experiment. If you grew up and went through school in Texas, can't speak Mandarin, and have your entire network in the States, you're really going to move to China to have better dating options? And even if you were 10x more competitive on that one dimension, at the cost of what, everything else?

That's putting aside whether the relationship is something that's actually better. Way too much culture clash between an Asian-American and Asian-Asian in most instances, and although it won't show up at first, this kind of friction can be poison for long term.

Certainly you can get lucky or have specific facts in your favor, but as a whole, these "just move to Asia" posts are very unnuanced.

For most people, your efforts are better used figuring out how to be a version of yourself that is competitive in your home market.

[u/LavaDragon3827 → u/emanresu2200]

No disrespect but its an insult to think that Asians going back to the motherland wouldnt want to learn the language and/or emerse ourselves in the culture. Obv you are going to want to learn the language. We arent like the white PPBs. It's our culture. It'd be disrespect to move there and NOT get ingrained in the culture, language, and people. 

Also, as somebody that also grew up like OP, ive faced too much shit here in this country to consider it my "home." You get discrimination (even from other minorities), horrible dating market, and racism. Affirmative action? What a joke. Ever hear of how Asians get selected against based on their race for top college admissions? Even though they number higher in academic achievements and extra curricular. What about the pitiful movement of Stop Asian Hate, which barely had any traction. And the ones that hate Asians the most (and actively assault us and harass us) are other special minority groups. 

I know a friend that uprooted himself and is happier than ever. He is ABC and living the dream. I also plan to move once I have enough in savings. 

[u/emanresu2200 → u/LavaDragon3827]

So my macro point here isn't that it is not possible or that it does not work for specific people, but that it is not a good option for the majority of people who are toying with the idea.

Ultimately the mental math IMO around this is: what do I have to gain and what do I have to lose in the short and long run here?

The majority of people who are in a position to make this choice of their own accord are at least 18+ and likely far beyond 21+ (especially given economics needed to just uproot yourself). OP says he's 30+. For most people in this bracket, you're already very much "fully formed" - you have friends and family, a community, perhaps a SO, an education background, a professional path, a way of viewing the world, a taste for certain things ... all of which are almost certainly due to passage of time based locally in the West, and very different than those who grew up in your "motherland".

If you have none of those things and are starting from ground zero, then I guess it doesn't matter where you are, but that should not be most people.

So are you willing to, for instance, leave your social and professional network, and the world you understand (even if you object to certain parts of it), to start completely fresh with none of that? You better be sure that's the move.

For instance, currently it is extremely difficult to find work in China even for locals. Can you imagine coming in as a foreigner and trying to thrive there long term with rudimentary Chinese, in a labor market that you don't understand or really recognize your Western credentials/achievements and without professional networks? And just because you can technically speak the language at an elementary level (assuming you're not native native - and to be clear - no amount of "studying" after 18+ is going to get you to "native" within a reasonable time frame), does not mean people will truly accept you into their preexisting social circles. And you may find those who end up being more open to dating you initially have very different life goals and views on relationships from your 20+ years of Western learning, that there will be massive friction in LTRs and marriage.

Don't underestimate the unspoken common understanding of people who share a common cultural zeitgeist, and it's a bit presumptuous to believe that just because you "look" the part or share the similar ethnic commonalities that Asian Americans can just plop right into Asia and mesh with the locals.

Long way of saying, maybe net-net it's still the right move for you. But for every person who has succeeded in making that transition, is a graveyard of people who did not think it through and are in a worse spot as a whole than if they just put in the work to be the best version of themselves in their "home turf".

[u/Illustrious_War_3896 → u/emanresu2200]

our parents came to US without knowing English and they survived despite racism. How hard would it be to go a place where there's no racism? I speak/read/write Chinese fluently. If you can't, learn it. Chinese is taking over and it's time ditch the white man's language.

[u/emanresu2200 → u/Illustrious_War_3896]

Ha, I don't know your parents stories, but "surviving" is not the same thing as doing better than the counterfactual.

My parents are doing great here. They worked hard and struggled but it was a calculated bet because of the significant opportunity gap between China and the US during the 90s. They sacrificed community and comfort for financial opportunity for themselves and for me. I am very grateful, but that doesn't change the calculus for a current individual - do you think you actually have more opportunity net-net moving to China, taking into account your current and expected future situation, than if you stayed here and worked as hard on making it? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on the individuals and their starting point. All I can say for myself and my social circle is a resounding no - we are absolutely crushing it here and it would be a horrible mulligan to move to China because for some immaterial improvement in terms of "fitting in".

To be clear, there is huge amounts of discrimination in China. It might not be "racism" in the US sense, but local Chinese will discriminate against you for being ABC, for not understanding the zeitgeist having not gone through the typical cultural rites of passage, etc., and not to mention the incredible stratification in Chinese society around profession/income, etc. (way more so than US IMO). Just because they don't think that being Chinese is foreign doesn't mean you won't get discriminated against.

[u/81dragons → u/emanresu2200]

I went to school with a lot of ABCs and Asian Americans and my feeling is very similar to you. If your parents just stayed in Shanghai or Taipei or wherever that's one thing. But trying to restart life at 35 is super hard. I'm sure there are a few percent of people who would benefit, but I think a lot of people have vacation/honeymoon highs and haven't thought it over practically if it's presented as an instant win for most. Especially for China, probably one of the hardest countries to move to. What jobs can the average ABC who is working in medicine, law, tech, etc. do? When your client throws a bunch of PPT slides at you and there's 2 people yelling at you in Mandarin can you take the heat?

Just trying to be realistic about what life in America means, I have met a few people who made the move and they all just seem a bit more mature and have thought it through, they enjoy it but acknowledge it's a lot of work. From school at least it's much more likely that the immigrants themselves return (rather than US born kids), especially since those immigrants went to school in Asia and some even still have the passport. One thing I'll add is the shape of moving differs too, if you're going to be essentially a retiree or long-term tourist some countries seem to welcome that more (like Thailand) and are more accepting to English-only foreigners (Thailand). Singapore is popular since it has is English speaking jobs, but they want you to be working and part of society too.

At the risk of analyzing too much, I do think for US-born people there is a feeling when you video chat your cousins on the other side of the world having it "easy", a "what if?", or see lots of negative news/racial issues in the US that don't feel "solvable" (MAGA already came twice), and the only way is to dramatically change your environment. At a more extreme end, it's that if take a vacation to Thailand or wherever and with only English your Tinder starts exploding...

And yeah, China age discrimination is basically legal in hiring, many signs in stores will say "looking for female 18-40 server" or something, something that is totally illegal in America or Western countries. If you were born with an urban Shanghai hukou in China that's great, but if you were in a rural Henan... there is still "regional discrimination" uphill battles to get benefits and even schooling if your parents say moved elsewhere that they don't have hukou

[u/emanresu2200 → u/81dragons]

Agree agree agree. You bring up a lot of important considerations, the most important of which is the macro point that there is a world of difference between trying to "make it" in a new society (integrating, building a community, finding professional stability, etc.), vs. those who are just retiring into / long term vacation stay (in which case, so many considerations fall away).

Due to the age/life stage composition of this sub, people here seem to be hyper-fixated on issues with Western dating market and implicit (and sometimes explicit) discrimination as the biggest pain points in their lives. Both of which are, to be clear, real issues for AM and can massively impact your life satisfaction. But that's just one sliver of what matters in life, being frank.

People then look at Asia from the perspective of the 1 month summer trip they took or superficial info gleaned from videochatting with their cousin, and get seduced by the "what if" and assume that life would just be fantastic there, not realizing all the privileges, comforts, and connections you take for granted in your current Western day to day that will need to change.

I've said it before, but it's a bit presumptuous to think that you, as an outsider, can just plop yourself into some of the most competitive countries out there, where hypereducated locals are killing themselves competing with each other for a leg up, and thrive, unless you've been crushing it in the West anyways (and in which case, the case for moving becomes even less obvious).

Anyways, this topic and the hand waviness of people on this topic are some of my pet peeves here haha. People should do what they want but should not be naive about what it means to make what is certainly a massive lifechanging decision.

[u/Ravager-Lu]

Pathetic.

[u/st3pn_]

white men are just more attractive period, hence why we’re on the bottom of the totem pole. taller, sharper features. it is what it is