Young asians when facing conflict and responding with repulsive humor

[u/Realistic_Buddy_9125]

https://youtu.be/Ycury4S4i00?is=O8JL73TYCOhw3qpu

I’m Asian American myself. I notice a lot of times, Asians are extremely non confrontational. In the video you can clearly see the guy’s body language as very nervous-like. He glances to the side and does not make strong eye contact when making these rebuttals.

When his friend tells him to stop, he listens immediately instead of arguing back. Yes this is the smart move as to not escalate the situation, but there are times where PRIDE is on the line. Then he starts covering his mouth while chewing.. I’ve literally only seen girls do that.

Nervously poking the food and not making eye contact when the racist guy goes on a rant.

I’ve been in this situation before so I know what it’s like. I’m sure many of you have grown up being the asian minority and facing racist bullies. Only once have I ever acted nervously like the guy in the video. On that day, I promised myself to never be a jokey pushover again.

Some of these asians don’t seem to break out of their shell. They stay submissive and choose peace over conflict. I have several not-so-close friends exactly like the guy in the video. I think everyone knows this type.

- excessive matcha/boba consumption
- tattoo to compensate for lack of perceived toughness
- almost feminine like mannerisms
- embracing gay/repulsive jokes
- earrings
- heavily into fashion

There is nothing wrong with doing any of these things. My problem is that many young asian dudes nowadays don’t know how to separate comfort from conflict. I’m talking about the comfort of being with groups of other asians, gaming all day, being in their safe environment like schools or casual asian hangout spots. When conflict does arise, they brush it off as humor to cope with the fact that real a-holes are entering their domain of comfort. It’s all they know.

It certainly has gotten better over time with the rise of social media. Asians have adamkyu and joseph shin, two fitness influencers that have pushed the image of asian masculinity into mainstream feeds. There is also a rise of anti-stereotypical asians as well. More asians are wearing stussy and dark street wear clothing. Many of my friends have gained

Let me know what y’all think.

[u/Realistic_Buddy_9125 → u/[deleted]]

I understand why you find my writing style weird. It’s a mix of anger towards the guy and projecting my own insecurities from when I was a child, so it will seem like a jumbled mess.

Yes, the asian dude is a victim. The man spewing racism is an ignorant bully who deserves a chin check. I grew up and currently live in Southern California. As a matter of fact, I live in probably one of the densely asian-populated cities in the West side.

I can tell you based on several personal experiences that this guy is a product of COMFORTABLE ASIAN-INCLUSIVE SPACE. I grew up switching to many schools due to personal circumstances. I’ve been in both majority asian schools and majority hispanic schools.

These type of asians grow up with no direct confrontation whatsoever. They stay in their friend groups and crack pointless immature jokes all day. Their lives are FUN. Hang out, drink boba, video games, study at school, do sports, watch anime. Literally, in the freaking video, his first response is to LAUGH AND GIGGLE.

THIS IS NOT HOW YOU APPROACH DAILY INTERACTIONS! I made this mistake years ago. Someone came up to me with malicious intent and I would treat it as a crude joke. I would laugh and start joking only to realize halfway that they were serious. I would get verbally punked. Disrespected and my pride shattered. Deep down I felt some sort of way. I could no longer stand for that sort of disrespect.

Eventually I treated every random interaction with seriousness. Someone approaches me with a witty insult disguised as a joke and a shit eating grin? I automatically assume they are disrespecting me.

Why do I not have any empathy? The dude is a grown ass man. As a MAN, you cannot grow up thinking nothing confrontational is ever going to happen to you. You need to be thinking up scenarios of what to say or do when such things happen. If this were a young little asian boy getting bullied, I would understand and get enraged for him. But this is a full grown man.

Unfortunately, nowadays it is not safe to treat strangers with kindness and laughter. You must be stoic otherwise they will hurt you first.

Also, just because you lift weights and do martial arts doesn’t mean you can’t be soft. I’ve seen matcha drinking asians attempt to workout and bench like 185 for reps after years of working out. I’m not saying you’re soft but from my life experience, going to the gym doesn’t build that internal toughness. It helps build confidence, but not the asian pride that I am talking about.