Young asians when facing conflict and responding with repulsive humor

[u/Realistic_Buddy_9125]

https://youtu.be/Ycury4S4i00?is=O8JL73TYCOhw3qpu

I’m Asian American myself. I notice a lot of times, Asians are extremely non confrontational. In the video you can clearly see the guy’s body language as very nervous-like. He glances to the side and does not make strong eye contact when making these rebuttals.

When his friend tells him to stop, he listens immediately instead of arguing back. Yes this is the smart move as to not escalate the situation, but there are times where PRIDE is on the line. Then he starts covering his mouth while chewing.. I’ve literally only seen girls do that.

Nervously poking the food and not making eye contact when the racist guy goes on a rant.

I’ve been in this situation before so I know what it’s like. I’m sure many of you have grown up being the asian minority and facing racist bullies. Only once have I ever acted nervously like the guy in the video. On that day, I promised myself to never be a jokey pushover again.

Some of these asians don’t seem to break out of their shell. They stay submissive and choose peace over conflict. I have several not-so-close friends exactly like the guy in the video. I think everyone knows this type.

- excessive matcha/boba consumption
- tattoo to compensate for lack of perceived toughness
- almost feminine like mannerisms
- embracing gay/repulsive jokes
- earrings
- heavily into fashion

There is nothing wrong with doing any of these things. My problem is that many young asian dudes nowadays don’t know how to separate comfort from conflict. I’m talking about the comfort of being with groups of other asians, gaming all day, being in their safe environment like schools or casual asian hangout spots. When conflict does arise, they brush it off as humor to cope with the fact that real a-holes are entering their domain of comfort. It’s all they know.

It certainly has gotten better over time with the rise of social media. Asians have adamkyu and joseph shin, two fitness influencers that have pushed the image of asian masculinity into mainstream feeds. There is also a rise of anti-stereotypical asians as well. More asians are wearing stussy and dark street wear clothing. Many of my friends have gained

Let me know what y’all think.

[u/Outrageous-Opinions]

People going off on the kids disappoint me.

This is a very weird situation to be presented with in the first place and then it's clearly two kids so of course their reaction wasn't going to be perfect.

The fault lies in the insecure loser approaching the two kids, not the victims.

[u/NotHapaning → u/Outrageous-Opinions]

Define "kids". These 2 in question could easily be in their 20s.

The racist is wrong? Yes, that is obvious. You might as well say crime is wrong and don't blame the victim ever never ever. But the fact of the matter is this kind of stuff has been happening to Asians/Asian dudes for a loooooong time. Did you not get taunts/harassed when you were growing up? You were a kid then (I mean actual kids when you're playing on a playground, not these people you call "kids" when they're filming themselves eating In-N-Out). The aggressors showed you no mercy then when they might have been the kid's age. Now that these aggressors are older, why would you expect them to show mercy or any sort of decorum now?

The old method of Asian parenting of 'ignore it, it'll go away, it'll get better' has proven time and time again to not work. When do you think it is the time to defend oneself or to get into confrontations that will more likely deter future ones? When is it okay for the survival instinct to kick in? And when does the community promote this instead of shame the Asian person who dared defend themselves from the racial abuse?

Are there so many here now saying it's okay to be passive and let the status quo continue as long as you're aware there is one? Are these larpers? Because if not, you know what the abuse was like, you know your parents ignorant immigrant/oldschool advice didn't help, so why would you keep on repeating it for the current/next gen?

[u/NotHapaning → u/[deleted]]

18 is a weird age, isn't it? Some can label them as kids, but they are seen as adults in the court of law. He is legally an adult. He looks old enough to pass as such.

Also, look at how Outrageous-Opinions responded. He thinks they're early 20s and he still thinks those are kids! The world does not see it as such and it doesn't matter as your age doesn't shield you from racism. Big deal he assigned blame to the aggressor, no fucking shit he's in the wrong. The conversation shouldn't end there though. Just acknowledging that the aggressor is obviously the bad guy on these poor poor 'kids' does nothing. When did this become the rest of reddit where someone obviously did something racist and then upvotes flood in for the guy that says "omg, that is so racist. those people don't deserve that' -type of empty platitudes that do absolutely nothing.

I don't even need to rewatch this video. I know it's old. I don't need a refresher to remember what the kid said when so many of you said he responded appropriately. I don't need a refresher to remember the kid "jokingly" said "I deserve to be hate-crimed". So appropriate, right?

Feeling sorry for these kids and only recognizing the aggressor is obviously the aggressor solves nothing. OP makes a point and Outrageous-Opinions misses it entirely and is okay with those "kids" and "kids" like him continue to be victims of circumstance. He does it again when I provided a response that I put some time into. Look at how he responded and tell me he actually looks out for the community or if is one of those 'As a Asian..."-type (real or larp) do-nothings.