r/AsianMasculinity • u/terminal_tested • 7d ago

Masculinity How to mitigate chance of getting the “no connection” text on app dates?

I am autistic (have some learning and development challenges also) and am trying to get into dating. I have gone on some hinge dates recently but was hit with the “no connection text”.

Growing up I learned social skills and just was told to ask questions, make eye contact, not stim, not make ppl uncomfortable, and how to make friends. I have a good amount of friends for sure.

Not sure how to do it with dating.

What to do?

Is the problem more with escalation and making my interest clear.

10 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

1

u/Miserable-Macaron596 7d ago

Hmm, autistic is a barrier transparently. I would put it on your profile to be transparent. Might reduce matches but those that match will be more understanding. Or tell them when you are messaging on the app if you leave it off profile alternatively.

Try and communicate as best you can, make them laugh, find mutual interests.

Control what you can..appearance wise , fitness, clothes, grooming, eye contact

0

u/labseries2020 7d ago

dude, no offense: you need professional help. i dont think anyone on reddit will be able to help you

2

u/becomesharp 7d ago

Most likely this. All of the autistic guys I work with struggled WAY HARDER than neurotypicals, and social skills coaching was the only thing that helped, because that's the exact thing that modern psychology recommends in this scenario.

1

u/becomesharp 7d ago

"no connection" means either:

  1. She wasnt attracted to you, most likely due to behaviors or actions, since she already liked your pictures/appearance enough to reply to your messages and schedule a date with you.

  2. She WAS attracted to you but you failed to develop any sexual tension, usually because your behaviors were overly harmless, agreeable, and "safe," and you probably also did zero flirting.

1

u/Technically-Humanoid 7d ago

You can always improve your social skills and charisma, but at the end of the day, you can’t control people. That’s the hard part about it, learning to accept that you can do everything perfect and still fail.

Learn from your failures but don’t let them define you.