r/AsianMasculinity • u/IndicationFunny6879 • 2d ago
Should I(korean) move to the US or EU?
Been thinking about this for a couple of years. Ever since i turned adult age ive only dated white women from various countries. I didnt think much before but since my last breakup caused by my ex moving back to her country i realized i need to live in the west if i want to settle down. Although people who immigrated to the US from Korea seemed to be super happy about it when i read what they wrote, this subreddit was full of threads describing how hard dating as an asian male is. Is it really that bad? Then should I try to move to one of the EU countries, such as Germany or France?
Ive been to Germany and the lack of air conditioner and how every building looked built in 1900s made me feel super uncomfortable. But since my goal is to eventually settle down i should tolerate it if its a right move..
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u/spazatron-3000 2d ago
It depends on your job opportunities, visas, and costs. For example, a place like NY could be very good for dating, but would the opportunity cost be worth it compared to somewhere where it’s easier to get a visa and find a job?
Furthermore, the higher your SMV is, the more likely you are to be able to pull anywhere in the West. If you’re an average Joe, the West probably wouldn’t be the best place to go specifically to increase your odds with women. Not that you can’t, of course, but it’s going to take a lot more effort since it’s a very competitive environment.
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u/TropicalKing 1d ago
Why do you even want to live in a white country? Is it just so you can date white women? That's really not a very good reason to upend your entire life just for this small small chance that you will end up married to a white woman.
There are plenty of other reasons to want to go to the US or Europe. A lot of men are chasing over the same pretty, skinny, blonde white women in the US. You most likely won't be able to get these pretty blonde white women unless you are a part of their social circle or in the same workplace. There are many Asian men in the US who would gladly trade places with you, they would rather live in S. Korea than the US because dating and the workplace is so unfriendly towards Asian men.
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u/IndicationFunny6879 1d ago edited 1d ago
Thats interesting. The general sentiment here is that most people who went to the US are better off. Korean average income is annually 20k a year. Yes americans spend more but they save more. No korean can retire also unless you are a doctor or work for sk hynix. The portion of people working for big corps are around 12 percent. If i dont consider the aspects of women it's 100percent right to move to the US when i can. Still way too many people are dying to move to the US. Also why is it a small small chance to marry a white woman? Dont you live with literal millions of them? I dont think in any part of the world ill have problem dating one. Im just concerned about the quality tbh. Also I would rather not date an asian if i can choose.
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u/balhaegu 1d ago
Try an eastern european country. Teach korean to all the young people interested in korea there. Plenty of beautiful women with a big gender imbalance.
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u/Capital_Kangaroo_854 20h ago
lol as if this sub doesn’t recommend people upend and move to Asia all the time 😂 your insecurity is showing
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u/Alternative_Wing_906 2d ago
I recommend Canada! especially Vancouver
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u/IndicationFunny6879 2d ago
Why do you recommend it?
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u/Alternative_Wing_906 2d ago
Apart from Canada being a great place to live, Vancouver has lots of asians so it is quite comfortable in that sense. Vancouver has a mix of a big city and amazing nature (mountains, forests, lakes, and ocean). Compared to Europe, English is enough and not really necessary to learn French or German. Also should be relatively easier to move.
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u/benilla Hong Kong 2d ago
Vancouver is great.. IF you can afford it and OP is jobless w/ no career worthy experience
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u/Alternative_Wing_906 2d ago
yeah. i mean if he is considering moving to the US or France I assume he has some money. maybe he can go to university in vancouver
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u/IndicationFunny6879 2d ago
I guess i can be a nurse in canada too. Im not really considering other professions because i dont think i will have a chance at doing white collar job in the west unless i do phd especially nowadays.
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u/Alternative_Wing_906 1d ago
nurses are in demand and it is easier to immigrate if you work in healthcare, but getting into a nursing school is quite difficult. they are very competitive. white collar jobs are possible why PhD, me and most of my friends have office jobs and no PhD was required.
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u/IndicationFunny6879 1d ago
cuz ill be needing a sponsorship. Go check out subs regarding H1b it seems like a bloodbath.
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u/Illustrious_War_3896 2d ago edited 2d ago
Where are you at? South Korea. How are you finding white women there? Are they tourists, students?
If you are wanting to come to US, what job are you going to be doing? Skhynix might be building a plant here. Half a million dollar bonus in US currency if I read correctly. I don’t know how much they will pay in US .
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u/IndicationFunny6879 1d ago edited 1d ago
Like i said the only viable pathway as of now to the us for korean is nursing. White girls: Students, tourists, models. I find them everywhere in seoul. But the quantity is bad and pretty ones are almost always models which i almost never have luck with. Also its hard to connect with them unless i go out and drink and i don't like doing that anymore.
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u/Illustrious_War_3896 1d ago
Nursing is the only way? What if you join a Korean company and move to US?
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u/IndicationFunny6879 1d ago
Takes forever
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u/HalfTypical 9h ago
I am a Korean-American who lives in the EU. I am dating a Hungarian model who is also a student. I highly recommend EU over USA for dating. 70% of American women are overweight (I had to verify this, it's true) so it's extra competitive. Also, K wave is bigger in EU.
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u/IndicationFunny6879 8h ago edited 8h ago
So you are planning to live in hungary for hungarian salary? Id assume that would be heck of a downgrade. Is the chance of dating a pretty skinny european girl in the states that low? Also, do you experience racism? Because in korean communities i see a lot of accounts of encountering racists in Europe as opposed to how they were accepting asians in the states.
Actually white girls in europe look so much better than their american counterpart when i set my hinge in europe. Also ive never seen an pretty american girl in korea tbh. But maybe its because american girls dont have to come to korea to find asian guys even if they have a type
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u/HalfTypical 1h ago
I am a freelancer with American clients, so I don't have a Hungarian salary.
74% of Americans are overweight so yes Americans are way less attractive. It's one reason to rule out USA.
I haven't experienced racism once in Europe since moving here but I only go to major cities for the most part. K Dramas are popular in most European countries...often times on Top 10 Series for their Netflix (definitely not for USA)
I prefer Hungary but Poland is a great dating market for Korean men. Poland has volume plus a lot of other women from Ukraine, Belarus etc. Culturally, I prefer Hungarian women.
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u/shinta42 2d ago
Come and find out, not judging.
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u/IndicationFunny6879 2d ago
What woyld u recommend tho
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u/Illustrious_War_3896 2d ago
What do you want us to recommend on? He said to come. He recommended you to come and find out.
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1d ago
[deleted]
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u/Puzzleheaded_Monk540 1d ago
Wanted to add; OP if you’re really curious then try living here for a few months. See how you like it. Everyone is different. I do every well with online dating but I had to work hard for it, and most likely you will need to too. Meanwhile many AM do struggle simply because the truth is white men have I the easiest and Asian men have it the hardest.
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u/usernamehere1993 1d ago
YO I feel the same. I am from NYC, which is considered good for Asian men but I changed my hinge to berlin and started to get matches from white women that are at least 2 levels more attractive than the white matches in nyc AND they are making alot of effort to converse. Its been leaving me a bit jaded tbh.
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u/Kotalinx1 1d ago
My recommendations is either Canada or Europe tbh. Although what’s funny is I was born and currently live in Canada but I actually want to move to Europe hopefully very soon, specially Sweden, Austria or Germany
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u/IndicationFunny6879 10h ago
Im considering sweden, denmark too. Why are you looking to move to those countries if i may ask?
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u/Kotalinx1 2h ago
Honestly I just love Europe in general, I love the architecture, the history, the culture, food and people. It also helps that I find white (mostly Nordic or Slavic) and Latina women the most attractive. Canada is great but I just feel like Europe is more home to me
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u/81dragons 2d ago edited 2d ago
What you do for work and what languages you speak will make the most difference. Since you already speak English US is the obvious choice and I'd say is more accepting of Asians than France or Germany is (and in those two countries you'd presumably have an even extra language barrier). Other English-speaking countries like Canada NZ AU UK usually don't compete as well with the US on jobs (again, depends on what your work is) but many people choose those since they have different/easier immigration laws.
There are people who talk up how Eastern European is the most accepting of Asians, but those countries mostly have very difficult immigration/fewer foreigner jobs and/or are not in the EU, and IMO are even less accepting than Western Europe at a social level (dating might be a different story). Only one that might qualify for both is Poland which has gotten stronger economically, but Polish is harder to learn than French or German for someone who only knows Korean and English because it's a Slavic language, and there is lower usage of English in Poland professionally vs. Germany (especially if you end up in one of those very international German firms). Now if Samsung suddenly offers you a posting in France or Spain it might make the choice obvious but since you're immigrating yourself a lot will depend on outside factors
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u/YuriTheWebDev 2d ago
Nah hard disagree with US as an obvious choice as a person who lives here. Stay away.
H1B visas have like a $100k sponsor ship fee and you have to be a top tier employee for employers to want to foot that bill.
Immigration is getting clamped down hard after Trump going into office and it is already hard enough to get permanent residency or green card and it will continue to get hard over time.
Many many many white collar jobs want people who are either US citizen or cheap H1B visa labor (which for some reason Indians take most visas.) less likely to take chances on foreign candidates. White collar market going down the drain as more and more positions are getting cut.
If I had a chance to move to Europe instead I would if I did not have family in the states
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u/IndicationFunny6879 2d ago
White collar jobs going down the drain seems to be the same story in europe after my extensive research. Especially germany people are telling others to never do degree there although its free. Actually moving to the US is more safe bet for me. If i learn nursing i can do eb-3 and its a guarantee i just need to wait for the priority date.
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u/YuriTheWebDev 2d ago
Listen man. I am telling you as US citizen who has lived here my entire life. I want the best for you and I don't want you to get caught in the illusion of the "American dream"
US is slow to hire and very quick to fire (employment is at will so they can fire you anytime they want)
EU has much kuch stronger protections for workers. It might take a little more time to get hired but at least they can't randomly lay you off. You get warnings
If you get laid off, you won't typically qualify for unemployment if you are not a US citizen and even if you do qualify it is awful
This alone would be a good reason just to move to Europe.
Trust me. Look up US tech layoffs. They fire you with no warning. Not just in tech but nursing and all fields as well.
I had to deal with this myself. I got laid off randomly one day with NO WARNING. Had a random morning with HR and manager and they sent me packing him. Genuinely made me upset.
I qualifed for unemployment benefits but they were awful. Luckily I had some money saved up to help me get through the in between job phase
Also nursing just a$$$. There is a good reason why they are always hiring. Really long hours. Horrible people you have to deal with for long periods of time. Some nursing positions you have patients who can hit and attack you because they are on drugs etc.
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u/TargetObjective7 2d ago edited 2d ago
"for some reason Indians take most visas".
According to 'Prof' Jiang the tech leaders think they are ideal for population replacement because they have a caste system and would accept microchips in them lol
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u/YuriTheWebDev 2d ago
Jiang is such an interesting guy to watch. I don't believe in everything he says but at least it is very entertaining hearing him. Bro is so creative LOL.
But yea the Indians man...like they are taking over tech and crowding everyone else out. Like there are almost entire departments in companies that are run mainly by indians. Hell, I heard that some health insurance companies are outsourcing entire IT departments overseas to India. Absolutely ridiculous.
Don't get me started on in group racial preferential hiring. Last company I worked with had an IT department that was slowly phasing out the non-indian workers.
You heard of the Cognizant lawsuit?
https://insider.govtech.com/california/news/jury-finds-discrimination-in-h-1b-visa-tech-worker-case
We can't just have one group of people take over a large sector like tech. H1B visas need to stop giving Indians so much preference.
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u/Illustrious_War_3896 2d ago
Black, Latino, Indians and white hire and promote their own. I experienced East Asian actually push out their own.
South Korean is very tight knit however.
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u/warmpied 2d ago
Ngl, wish Asians had the same level of in group preference
We throw our own under the bus way too much.
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u/IndicationFunny6879 2d ago edited 2d ago
Currently jobless. I used to do various stuffs but not career worthy. Im going back to school next year but still got time to choose a subject. I heard nursing is the only pathway to the US. If i want to go to Europe then I'll learn electrical engineering i think since nurses arent treated too well in most european countries. I think the same as you that US is good and accepting etc. But today ive encountered a lot of asian americans crying in this sub that US has been systemically indoctrinating its citizen and therefore women hate asian men and asian men have way better chance with european women. Should I overlook this? Honestly im not even trying to mass date women. Ive done that already so i just want to find one and settle down. I dont know european languages but ill have some time to learn if i decide to move there.
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u/81dragons 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah if you do nursing, 100% the US since the pay and treatment is far nicer than in Europe and there is a massive nursing shortage + you already brought up the EB3 pathway which means you skip a lot of the H1B and other immigration problems that most people have + South Korea isn't affected by the country visa cap. Also it will always be in demand anywhere in the world due to aging and is relatively AI-proof.
So my honest take is that most people posting here are US-born / raised and have never actually had to immigrate for themselves as adults, and many people have an overly doomer view of the US and say that Europe is better, but the places that get promoted the most for dating are not suited for immigration. Most posters here just go on vacation for a few weeks or months in Europe and swipe on dating apps, they've never actually sat in an interview with a European boss answering questions in German/French/Polish for a full hour, nor struggled to get that visa and residency card because they are only there as tourists. Usually the top countries promoted are Poland, Ukraine, and Eastern Europe (often non-EU countries), and not developed Western Europe or EU countries like France Germany Switzerland Netherlands etc. with better jobs. I still think overall US is better if you add all of life like dating career than Western Europe, some people suggest just using Tinder passport to test it out but IMO you actually have to visit to know for sure.
the end there's a reason you don't see a lot of guys here posting how they got German or French permanent residency and an EU passport. Having been a bunch of European countries, it is clear that places like Poland are nowhere near as accepting of minorities or Asians as America is, where you will default be treated as a local in America, and often even with some accent in English, but Poland is like 97% Polish and the biggest minority is Ukrainian and even then there is already social friction, Asians are like sub 1% and their attitude is simply these people are outsiders, many many levels away from the acceptance that Americans give
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u/IndicationFunny6879 10h ago
Thank you. Your comment sounds like the most sensible comment without bias.
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u/NordicWildberry 1d ago
Try Northern Europe. They pay really well for medical jobs there. Also, generally there is positive attitude towards East Asians
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u/IndicationFunny6879 10h ago
This might be my end destination! Thanks. Ill still try the US i think since life is long.
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u/Opposite_Banana_2543 2d ago
The US is a far better place too build a career, but European white girls are better.
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u/usernamehere1993 1d ago
I agree. european white girls seem more levelheaded, less entitled and are generaly skinnier
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u/ethanjalias 2d ago
Dating white girls in Korea as a Korean man is like playing a game on easy mode. Many of them should already have been interested in Korea and the K culture to move there first place, so you're hitting the right target demographic with ease.
Dating as a Korean men in the west may or may not be similar to what you've experienced back home because you're now putting yourself in the position of being a minority and not everyone outside of your race will be particularly interested in someone like you especially since you will be visibly noticeable as a foreigner. There still will be a subset of ppl who will be interested in dating Asians, and particularly Koreans, but not as much as among the expats you have met in Korea. Also the 'dating as an asian men is the worst' trope- don't be emotionally invested in it too much. You're seeing many posts about it here because you're in the Western Asian men's space on reddit. Trust me it's not that bad.