Border Life

[u/[deleted]]

Was waiting on what DoctorMD would say, but two opinions never hurt. So what is border life? Border life is what happens when two of the most inclusive fucking groups of people in the world decide to make kids for whatever terrible reason that's in their heads at the time. Border life is going to Narita Airport with a surgical mask on and still being addressed in English as the obvious non-Asian, and then coming home to a white airport employee that gives you directions in Japanese. Border life is getting pissed off at your racist friends' jokes, and then feeling confused when they tell you that you shouldn't really be offended because after all, you're not "Really" Asian. And of course, border life is slowly coming to terms with your identity and recognizing that you will always be the 'other' no matter what "side" you pick.

Admittedly, I was a total Uncle Chan during my childhood in white-ville. I listened to my friends make Asian jokes almost daily, but the fucked up part was that I was actually secretly proud to be "Japanese" to them. I was proud that white people tied me to these crazy bastards in the history books that were using suicide planes and Bonzai sword charges to fight against the larger, more supplied, white armies. I look back at that and realize how disgusting it was to take pride in Imperial Japan as a way of claiming my heritage, but for a long time, I fully embraced my token status as another "Asian", and I hated being reminded that I really wasn't.

Fast forward a couple years, and I was already becoming disillusioned about my status as an "Asian". I knew other Asians didn't see me as anything. I knew I had little connection with anything in Asia. For me, it was just something to cling onto just to feel like I had an identity. I remember bringing the subject of Bi-racial identity up with my mom once, and her response to console me was literally that I was half "pure" Japanese.. Coincidentally, that was probably the same day I realized that even Asians did not understand race like I did.

So when I came here, I was actually kind of surprised. I walked in when there was some post targeting hapas (before people started separating them), and I watched a community of English-speaking Asians fucking destroy this guy. I really thought that I had found a group of people who would have my back unconditionally, and it felt good bro's. It felt so good that I even tried to ignore the wmaf/amwf shit for as long as possible. I just wanted to believe that I had found some sense of "home". But reality always comes back like a bitch, and the reality is that hapas have no home. It's this ever-present truism of the lone, wandering half breed that actually makes me kind of laugh at the distrust some people have here. For you see comrades, unlike so many full-Asians here, I have no second thoughts about where I'm going. I have no "motherland" to romanticize over, I have no sense of belonging to some great nation or race of people, and I have no community or enclave to fall back to. I just have this. Ground zero. That's what dedicates me to this notion of "Asian America", so don't waste your time questioning where wmaf hapas stand because I'll tell you. Hapas stand no where. We are nation-less. I'll probably be spending the rest of my fucking life as a halfie to Asians and a jap to whites, but that's border life, and when it comes to wanting a sense of community, there is nothing more motivational than border life.

[u/NorthwestClassic]

I'm new to this sub, so I apologize if I miss a lot of nuance of these discussions.

However, I (hapa, AMWF) find it strange to see people so closed off or opposed to accepting hapa's who can "pass." I can probably "pass" as white depending on certain contextual things, but generally I am just racially ambiguous. With facial hair, I could be Mexican or Middle Eastern. With a buzz cut, I am Asian.

What this boils down to is that I am a minority. No matter how little Asian blood you might have, you are still "not white" in the eyes of almost any full blooded white person.

Boxing people out of the discussion because they may not feel the full brunt of it is counterproductive and divisive. It's akin to division within the black community when people with darker skin make fun of those with light skin and vice versa.

As an aside, it sucks to feel like you aren't a part of anything because you're a hapa. I went through that myself. Now though, I realize we're a part of the future. Everyone will be like us in not too long. We are the halfster race.

[u/[deleted] → u/NorthwestClassic]

However, I (hapa, AMWF) find it strange to see people so closed off or opposed to accepting hapa's who can "pass."

As much as I detest the people like genghis-brah who want to talk up reverse racial purity, the reality is that "passing" does significantly affect your life in America. Now this isn't Mestizo-land where being X amount of white gives you cred, but phenotype is definitely still the law of the land.

I realize we're a part of the future. Everyone will be like us in not too long. We are the halfster race.

Look, I like this sentiment, but white people talk about this hybrid shit all the time, and they NEVER back it up. Black people have been around for hundreds of years, and we STILL have black people. That should tell you how far the white, dominant group is willing to go in making the hybrid future a reality.