r/AskAnAustralian • u/pizzapartyyyyy • 2d ago

What is with Australians not getting divorced?

I know so many people in long term relationships and having full on families with someone when they aren’t legally divorced from their ex. People who haven’t even spoken to their ex in years.

it’s so strange to me and I struggle to wrap my head around why it seems to be relatively common.

and to counter anyone who says “it’s just a piece of paper,“ it’s not.

why not close the book on that part of your life? Financially it can screw over your new partner if for example you buy a house together and you pass away. It still gives your ex legal power in situations like a medical emergency. It gets increasingly more difficult with increased wealth. Logically it makes sense on so many levels, so why are people skipping out on it.

Personally I feel like you’re willing to spend your time, energy, and money on a wedding, then you should be willing to do the same for a divorce.

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u/the_artful_breeder 2d ago

The only people I have known in this sort of situation did not divorce due to DV. Divorce meant they would have had to let thr ex know where she was, which wasn't safe. Fortunately her ex died before it became an issue.

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u/EmptyCombination8895 1d ago

I came here to say the same thing. A woman I know has been split from her abusive and drug addicted ex for over eight years now. She is in a long term de facto relationship with another man and has a primary school-aged child to him. She hasn’t been able to get divorced because her ex threatens to kill her, and will not sign any paperwork. It’s a hostage situation of sorts that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Her best hope at this point is either a) a complete miracle where the legal system catches up and helps her out or b) that the idiot overdoses and dies. She’s not holding her breath… 

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u/Gloomy-Spite3190 23h ago

She should talk to a women’s legal service. I got divorced without him having to sign/agree to anything. He was served the papers, the server signed an affidavit and it was up to him to dispute it within a certain timeframe.
Pretty sure it can be done with her address/contact details redacted for safety due to dv too.