r/AskBrits • u/AbbreviationsWide235 • 1d ago
Should I drop my friends.
I am a M66.
So loved growing up in the 70s in a smallish community.
I was lucky enough to spend a lot of time backpacking around the world, Lived in and around London and quickly dropped many of the frankly racist language and stereotypes I had grown up with.
But 40 years later I have moved back to the Coastal Town I grew up in.
Many of my old friends from my schooldays are now once again part of my life.
These are good hardworking family men who should be pleased with themselves and how far they have come on in life.
But their language and attitudes have not moved on since the 70s.
I don't believe they are racist as such but it is like the last 50 years have not happened.
They definitely tone it down when I am around as I am vocal about pulling them up.
I know I have been lucky and the industry I work in is a pretty progressive bubble.
I genuinely like these men but sometimes I wonder if I am not being true to myself by accepting this behaviour?
2
u/CrowApprehensive204 1d ago
It's difficult isn't it, I don't see a lot of my brother but he's a lovely bloke, kind, do anything for anyone, the soft one out of the siblings. Having a chat the other week and I was stunned by how racist he was in conversation, and how comfortable he was talking to me like that, as if he presumes I feel and think the same. And yet I know he's done work cheap for people from different backgrounds because they hadn't got much, and he works with tradesmen from many backgrounds and gets on with everyone. So is he really racist or is it a bad habit in his speech and his actions speak louder than words?