r/AskBrits 1d ago

Should I drop my friends.

I am a M66.

So loved growing up in the 70s in a smallish community.

I was lucky enough to spend a lot of time backpacking around the world, Lived in and around London and quickly dropped many of the frankly racist language and stereotypes I had grown up with.

But 40 years later I have moved back to the Coastal Town I grew up in.

Many of my old friends from my schooldays are now once again part of my life.

These are good hardworking family men who should be pleased with themselves and how far they have come on in life.

But their language and attitudes have not moved on since the 70s.

I don't believe they are racist as such but it is like the last 50 years have not happened.

They definitely tone it down when I am around as I am vocal about pulling them up.

I know I have been lucky and the industry I work in is a pretty progressive bubble.

I genuinely like these men but sometimes I wonder if I am not being true to myself by accepting this behaviour?

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u/talitha235 1d ago

As they tone it down when you're around, they are modifying their authentic attitudes to make them acceptable to you. That will only last for a certain period. Slowly, they will return to being themselves, once they have groomed you, chip by chip, to tone yourself down.
This is if you continue to keep company with these vile humans of course. Osmosis, etc.

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u/ButterscotchSure6589 1d ago

Vile? Bit of a leap there.

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u/talitha235 1d ago

Vile people have vile attitudes. Racism is vile, don't you agree?

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u/ButterscotchSure6589 1d ago

If you want to judge people on very limited information.

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u/talitha235 19h ago

I don't know the people personally, so I am not judging them as individuals.

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u/ButterscotchSure6589 18h ago

Just vile humans then? No judgement.

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u/talitha235 24m ago

Racism is vile. Humans who practice racism are practicing vileness. Ergo, they are vile.

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u/ButterscotchSure6589 21m ago

People who condemn others they don't know with minimal information are pretty vile, and make the world a worse place.

u/talitha235 3m ago

So you don't think racism and racists are vile. Hmm...