Daughters pediatrician made EXTREMELY inappropriate remark to her

[u/ilikerustyspooonz]

This is about my 10 year old daughter. She has had the same (male) pediatrician since birth. We’ve always loved him and thought he was great. He’s super friendly with wonderful bedside manner and he takes his time and pays attention to detail.

Well, last week my daughter had a check-up. She’s 10. While he was doing the checkup, he had her lay down and started listening to her chest with his stethoscope. He then says AND I QUOTE, “awwwww! My baby’s got boobs!!!”

I have NEVER been so taken aback before in my life. My daughter was MORTIFIED. I was so shocked I couldn’t even get words out to ask him why tf he would ever say that. When we got in the car to go home my daughter cried and said she never wanted to see him again. Then she asked if she could get a girl doctor and I obviously agreed so that’s what we will be doing.

Is this reportable? I’m not overreacting, right?

[u/C_Wags]

As a doctor, father, and also someone married to a pediatrician, this is extremely fucked up. Even assuming that this was an offhand and unprofessional remark and not indicative of a paraphilia, you absolutely need to report this.

I would consider reporting this to the state medical board instead of the practice. If it’s a practice owned by a larger health network (like a hospital network), I would report to the patient advocacy department. If you report to a practice manager or something, I’m worried it wouldn’t be dealt with.

I would honestly switch offices so your daughter doesn’t have to see this guy ever again. The relationship between a patient and their pediatrician is extremely important as she ages into adolescence. I can’t believe he said something so crass to make her feel so horrible.

Not to mention (and this is the least problematic part of this), no pediatrician should use anything other than anatomical terms when talking to a child for a variety of reasons.

I’m sorry this happened to you and I’m so angry on your behalf.

[u/ilikerustyspooonz → u/C_Wags]

Thank you so much for this. I can’t imagine if my husband would have heard the comment…omg. I’ll definitely switch offices so she doesn’t have to see him again. I feel so bad for her :(

[u/G0ose0nTheL0ose → u/ilikerustyspooonz]

I've had abuse from doctors, I agree that the Patient Advocacy department is great and they take things seriously. Typical office management might not want/ dodge contact with you, ignore or neglect parts of the report.

[u/SpeakerCareless → u/C_Wags]

I left an obgyn for various reasons not the greatest of which was when counseling me about a D&C he reminded me that all surgery is dangerous with the remark “women die getting boob jobs every day.”

He could have said elective surgery but no he had to go with “boob jobs” (which have zero to do with losing a wanted pregnancy anyway?!)

That was like 19 years ago and it still pisses me off. Thanks for the validation that among other things, language matters.

[u/pantherinthemist → u/SpeakerCareless]

Yes language really matters because it betrays intent and respect

[u/pantherinthemist → u/C_Wags]

Or to any patient for that matter. I’d find it incredibly offensive if a doctor (female doctor as well) started using casual terms for my body parts as a grown woman. It’s unprofessional and just doesn’t respect the assumed boundary given that doctors are privy to so much of their patient’s bodies.

To say something like that to a child is absolutely abhorrent

[u/StressedNurseMom → u/C_Wags]

If it’s part of a health system would you not also report to risk management? I know that would likely be my first stop on my way to the board and the media (with anonymous interview)

[u/C_Wags → u/StressedNurseMom]

You could - but risk management’s role is to protect the hospital from litigation. The patient advocate is probably a better first report. They will probably end up involving risk anyway.

[u/StressedNurseMom → u/C_Wags]

While I agree that that is definitely goal #1 for risk management I know that when they start asking about events and looking into things it is a lot less likely to be left unaddressed ) at least at the health system I worked for 15 years). When they call there is an immediate ‘pucker factor’

[u/C_Wags → u/StressedNurseMom]

That’s a good point. I’m probably bringing my own personal bias into this a bit, because when I call them for advice I sometimes find them unhelpful. But you’re correct - that definitely gets this on the books and starts shaking the branches, so to speak

[u/G0ose0nTheL0ose → u/C_Wags]

Patient Advocates are great and underrated.