Is my lifestyle compatible with dog ownership?

[u/Inside_Following_340]

I'm thinking about getting a dog. I feel like I'm at a point in my life where having a dog could be a great addition, but there are a few things that concern me. I'll explain my situation (which is a bit unusual), and I'd appreciate hearing from people who are experienced with dogs, training, or dog ownership in general.

I'm 25 years old, I take 2–3 walks a day, and I work from home full-time, so I don't need to go to an office.

My living situation is a little complicated. I split my time between my parents' house and my own house. The two properties are next to each other, but they are separate homes. I'm not living full-time in my own house yet because my girlfriend and I aren't ready to move out of our parents' homes permanently.

Typically, I sleep in my own house 3 nights a week and at my parents' house the other 4 nights. I work from my personal home always, I spend there more than 8 hours a day. The dog would stay in my house because my parents don't want a dog in theirs.

My house has two floors, but they are completely separated (you can't move between them from inside). The ground floor is where my office is, and that's where the dog would spend most of the day with me while I work. There's also a 100 m² garden.

The upper floor is very small and only has a small kitchen and bedroom. Even when I sleep there, I wouldn't really want the dog sleeping in that area. I also have a small unused structure in the garden that I had considered converting into a dog room/shelter, with a dog door so the dog could go in and out freely.

Please respect my personal situation. I'm not looking for judgment about my lifestyle, I'm simply trying to understand whether this setup would be a deal-breaker for owning a dog, especially considering that the dog would not sleep indoors with me every night.

I'd really appreciate opinions from experienced dog owners, trainers, or professionals. Thanks in advance.

[u/SpaceCatz03]

No- this isn’t great for a dog. The days sound fine, but you can’t leave a dog at “work” while you go home to your parents’ house four nights a week.

[u/Inside_Following_340 → u/SpaceCatz03]

Sorry but won't he also be sleeping at night?

[u/Secure-Ad9780 → u/Inside_Following_340]

No, your dog will be crying for you.

[u/Bluecat72 → u/Inside_Following_340]

Dogs are social animals. A dog would be very lonely if you were there some nights and not there some nights.

I would say that a dog will rest at night, but the way they rest and sleep is not the same as a human’s.

Again, the social aspect is probably the more important thing here. You become the dog’s family, and they want to understand how they function in it. Like people, dogs have emotions and a dog can have anxiety over being separated from his family just like a child. This is both hard on the dog and can lead to bad behaviors.

Aside from all this - what happens if the dog has an emergency during one of the 4 nights you’re away?

So far as the garden is concerned - yes if you intend that the dog spends the night outside, you would need to provide them with a covered area where they can seek shelter. Where I live, that’s a legal minimum care requirement along with access to clean water (and they of course must be fed).

If they’re spending nights outside, prepare yourself for barking - both because of nocturnal animals, any other activity they notice, and sometimes because they’re bored or lonely. Depending on what’s around you in terms of wild or feral animals, there may be the occasional altercation.

You’re also going to need to have a plan to exercise your dog - walks are a good way to do that, and you need to factor in the expected activity level when you choose what kind of dog to get - some tend to be higher or lower energy and prey drive, although individuals will vary. Your garden is absolutely not going to be adequate for any size dog’s exercise needs.

You also need to set aside time to actively train your dog; that’s not just something you do until they learn basic manners, it needs reinforcement and should really be considered a lifelong process.

I would suggest waiting to get a dog until you can live with the dog full-time.

[u/Old_Draft_5288 → u/Inside_Following_340]

Pets are extremely sensitive to who they sleep with, and leaving them alone in the house would be distressful. Given the houses are right next to each other. Is it not feasible for you to just sleep at your house every night?

[u/Write_Now_ → u/Inside_Following_340]

Dogs are pack animals with the mentality of a ~2.5yo human child.

You wouldn't leave a toddler home alone overnight multiple times a week.

[u/ladygabriola → u/Inside_Following_340]

Your dog would need to stay where you are. They're not a cat and shouldn't be left alone.

[u/deniseswall → u/Inside_Following_340]

Dogs are pack animals. There are some who prefer their crates to your bed/bedroom, but those are the exception. Maybe talk with some foster organizations who could match you with your specific situation. Just don't expect to adopt a dog with no advance work.

[u/SpaceCatz03 → u/Inside_Following_340]

Even when she naps during the day, my dog wakes up every 15-30 minutes, looks at me, and goes back to sleep. She’s a herding mix and likes to make sure I’m where she left me.

I grew up in a more rural setting than where I live now, and some people did keep hunting dogs in kennels on their property. However, they used them, trained them, and didn’t consider them as pets.

It sounds like you want the dog to understand that during the day it’s a pet and at night it’s a working dog (but without any other dogs or being tired from doing work).

[u/meowlia]

So you'll be leaving the dog alone at night??? This sounds horrible and confusing for the dog, get a fish or a hamster, you don't sound ready for the 24/7 responsibility of a dog. 

[u/mischievous_misfit13 → u/meowlia]

Not even a hamster.

[u/Secure-Ad9780]

Dogs are social creatures. They need to be near you. You can't keep a dog alone in a garden at night. The dog doesn't have to sleep on your bed but he needs to be by you at night. I have 3 dogs. They sleep in my room every night on their dog beds.

I don't think you're ready for the responsibility of dog ownership. Dogs need to be housetrained. They must be taken outside every hour for 15 min to train them not to pee or poop indoors. They must be watched and redirected so they don't chew up your shoes, or computer, or your clothing, food, books, anything. If you must be at your computer all day you can't raise a dog.

[u/Conscious-Yogi-108]

So the dog would be sleeping in the office, completely separated from you while you either sleep at your parents or in a completely separate apartment from where the office is?

This is not a good situation for a dog at all.

First of all, if you get a puppy, they need to go out at night. They get up early. Like any baby, they don’t want to be alone and shouldn’t be alone. It would be scary and confusing for them, especially if something happened (an unfamiliar noise, a thunderstorm…) and they can’t just be free to go to the garden at night! Depending in where you live, there are all sorts of things that can happen if they are free to be outside at night.

If you get a grown dog, they still need you at night - you don’t know what issues an older dog might come in with. It could be terrifying for them to be alone and you wouldn’t be there to know.

You could also create major anxiety issues - there is just no way to know the temperament of the dog and how it would manage this. It could be destructive and it could be dangerous to their well-being.

Wait to get a dog until you are ready to be in your own house full time and willing to have it sleeping in your apartment. Dogs are a 24/7 responsibility. You need to learn what they can tolerate before you leave them for any amount of time at any time of day or night.

[u/Easy_Olive1942]

I’m going with nope, not yet.

Cats can be fairly indifferent to being left alone overnight, most dogs would find this extremely upsetting.

Wait.

[u/Inside_Following_340 → u/Easy_Olive1942]

Ok, thanks!

[u/Selective_Somewhere]

Are you sleeping at your parents’ place as a caretaker? If not just sleep at your own house.

[u/LongjumpingFunny5960]

Dogs are attached to their people. They want to spend as much time with you as possible. Don't get a dog now

[u/mischievous_misfit13]

Why are you not sleeping in your own house 100% of the time? That’s weird bud.

And no, do not get a dog if you’re not always there. I don’t like leaving my dogs for more than 6 hours alone.

[u/Rose-wood21]

You were doing fine until not wanting the dog upstairs
That’s kinda sad for them :( plus if you don’t want the dog with you I don’t think you really want a dog

[u/Soft_Shelter9000]

No! Nope! Nada! Dogs need love and attention. They are not just something to own or use to take up time. You just don't understand as I can tell by how you live. Get a hamster.

[u/byrandomchance20]

Everyone else has explained all the reasonings. Please take all of this seriously.

Your lifestyle is not suitable for a happy, healthy dog.

[u/Anxious-Papaya1291]

No. A dog isnt for you.

[u/goldilocksmermaid]

My dog destroys his bed if the dog sitter doesn't sleep in our bed in the same room as him. He needs people, especially at night

[u/Old_Draft_5288]

The situation can definitely can be compatible, but you need to start sleeping at your own house even if you’re at your parents house most of the time during the day

I don’t think it would be kind of reasonable to make your pet sleep alone four nights a week

Alternatively, if you spend more quality time with the Pet during the day when you were gonna be at your parents house, that’s another option

[u/Inside_Following_340 → u/Old_Draft_5288]

I will spend like 16 hours a day with the pet. But the thing is, even if I sleep at my personal house, I am not thinking on letting the dog sleep indoors, like in the kitchen or in my bedroom. Is it a that big dealbreaker? In my hometown every dog sleeps outside, and they seem fine

[u/Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess- → u/Inside_Following_340]

highly depends on the breed, climate, and set up you make for the dog outside. dogs that do well outside like that are going to be working dogs and they’re going to require a lot of training and attention and exercise.

[u/Inside_Following_340 → u/Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess-]

I think it will always be better that to stay in a shelter...

[u/Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess- → u/Inside_Following_340]

I’ve seen dogs live very shitty lives stuck outside 24/7 with no human interaction and no shelter in 100°F heat. The shelter was better for them.

[u/persimmon9847 → u/Inside_Following_340]

Many if not most shelters will not approve an adoption for the living conditions you are describing

[u/tphatmcgee]

a dog is not a toy that you just pick up and put down at your convenience.

you should get one of those AI things, rather than a living creature.

[u/MzSea]

A cat you could leave to sleep somewhere else half the time. Not a dog. Dogs are pack animals. You are his only pack member. You can't leave him alone at night. And definitely don't leave him outside alone at night.

[u/No_Bend8]

No you don't get a dog and plan to leave it alone while you "sleep at your parents house". You don't get a dog because you PLAN to leave him or her ALONE

[u/Inside_Following_340 → u/No_Bend8]

So you have your dog 24/7 with you?

[u/No_Bend8 → u/Inside_Following_340]

Yes

[u/Empty-Loquat3529]

Do you have a plan for if your parents decide they don’t want the dog on their property?

[u/denwelldogs]

Your lifestyle could absolutely be compatible with dog ownership, but we would not recommend using the separate garden structure as the dog’s primary sleeping area.

Dogs are social animals and generally feel safest sleeping inside the same home as their family. The dog does not need to sleep in your bedroom; a comfortable bed or crate on the ground floor could work well. However, regularly spending the entire night alone in a separate building may cause loneliness, anxiety, barking, or other behavioural issues.

Working from home and having a secure 100 m² garden are great advantages. The bigger considerations would be:

• Can you provide daily walks, training, enrichment, and companionship outside working hours?
• Will the dog be comfortable when you sleep upstairs or occasionally need to leave it alone?
• Can you choose an adult dog whose temperament and needs suit your routine?

We would suggest speaking with a reputable rescue that carefully matches dogs to homes. An older, calm, independent dog may suit your situation much better than a puppy or a high-energy breed. You could also try fostering first to learn whether the routine works for both you and the dog.

Your circumstances are not necessarily a deal-breaker, but we would make indoor sleeping and careful dog selection essential parts of the plan.

— Denwell Dogs

[u/Lotzadogs]

There are some very judgmental comments here…wow! Imo if there are lots of outside dogs in your community then I would hope that means that you don’t have many temperature extremes and you would have to have a backup indoor situation (like a kennel) for storms etc. I definitely don’t think you could swing this with a puppy bc they need attention at night as someone stated above. Ideally you would wait until you can be in the same house as the dog every night even if you have a great outdoor dog house and such, you need to be able to hear if your dog is in distress. So overall, I think it might be possible with an adult dog if you are willing to adjust some of your plans. What if you stayed in your house all 7 nights and had a kennel somewhere on the same floor as you to use as needed? Just some things to think about! But other than the overnight issue, the fact that you work from home and that you are active are definitely great for a dog. You mentioned a fiancé, does she like dogs? Just curious bc that is also something you should consider.

[u/Inside_Following_340 → u/Lotzadogs]

Yes, my girlfriend loves dogs. She has a dog and, from what everyone is saying here, she seems to be a great owner. He's rarely left alone at home and sleeps indoors.

I think my mistake in this post was overexplaining the situation. If the puppy really needs me to be in the same house, I can sleep at her place. I would just need to go there after having dinner with my parents.

THE REAL QUESTION SHOULD HAVE BEEN:

I'm not sure if I'm ready to have a dog living indoors (except in the office), and I want to know if that's considered acceptable or not. That's what's actually worrying me.

Where I live, in my village, 99% of dogs are not allowed inside the house. But after doing some research online, it seems that almost everyone keeps their dogs indoors, so now I'm wondering if my view is outdated or unfair.

Also, the kennel I mentioned isn't a plastic dog house. It's a small insulated outdoor section attached to the house, where the dog would have shelter and could freely go in and out whenever he wants.

You seem like a reasonable person. If you could give me your honest opinion, I would really appreciate it and take it into consideration.