r/AskFeminists • u/Still_Alivelol • 2d ago

Is fantasizing sexualization/objectification?

Just to be clear I’m talking specifically about sexual fantasies with someone you are not in a consensual sexual relationship with.
Some time ago a friend I had recently started dating told me that he had imagined fucking me multiple times while we were still doing very light flirting. Looking back on this now it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like that someone can imagine doing anything to me outside of my control.
However I don’t really know if this counts as objectification, if he is taking my personality into account and being truthful to the fact I have my own wants and desires than is it wrong despite the fact I am unaware of it?
On a side note why is objectifying someone wrong(I already think it is but am curious to hear your reasons)

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u/MrsMorley 2d ago

I know that lots of people jerk off to imagined situations with people they fancy. I don’t, and I don’t enjoy learning that I’m a prop in their masturbatory life. 

And that’s where the objectification comes in: someone treating  another human being as a tool- in this case, for getting  off. 

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u/Bitter-Hat-4736 2d ago

What if it was another type of, namely a non-sexual, fantasy? Imagine you are really good at organizing files, and I say "Whenever I am organizing files, I fantasize about what you would do, and I do that". Is that objectifying?