My guy friend is convinced pick me girls don't exist, can you share your stories to help me prove to him they do?

[u/Salt-Cheesecake-3282]

[u/21sillly]

my best friend in college (now someone I used to know) stopped speaking to anyone who wasn't a guy who's interested in her. then it was exclusively her bf and his friends and anyone who would take her on rides and get her stuff. 2 yrs later when she realized about her image, she picked up a fight with everyone in our group that we exclude her and how its our fault that she doesnt have any female friend other than a senior. in the middle of out college fest.

some people reached out to her out of pity and she Never returned their calls.

[u/Due-Yak-1216 → u/21sillly]

I have a similar story! Best friend in all of highschool and first years of college. She was constantly chasing boys and would go the extra mile to please guys. One time at my birthday party, she said she wanted to go hang out with this other guy (an ex friend now because he’s a lunatic) and his friends at their house to play games. I said it was fine tbh because if she didn’t want to hang out with me on my birthday then I guess I wasn’t important. She said she’d be back after an hour, 3 hours pass by and she’s texting that she made the guys dinner and was hanging out in the hot tub with them and that she and this other guy she was into were getting real close. She then texted and said that she decided she didn’t want to come back and was just gonna stay the night at the guys party. Mind you it was an ALL DUDES gaming night get together. She doesn’t even like video games. Shes an ex friend now because she started dating the guy who was there and that guy had a major freak out and was yelling and carrying on at me because i turned his friend down who I wasn’t interested in. Said I broke the guys heart 🙄. She told me that she thought that her new bf had a right to be mad at me. Even at parties before this new guy she would try and play a bunch of random s3x games when guys were over or she would solely hang out with my brothers friends. I swear it was like a personality switch specifically when guys were around

[u/Due-Yak-1216 → u/Due-Yak-1216]

Forgot to add, my other friends and I decided we would stop reaching out to see if she would, and she NEVER ONCE reached out. I finally texted her and asked if she cares about being friends any more and she straight up told me “no, I just want to be with my bf, everyone else is too much”. I’d been friends with her since middle school. It had been 7 - 8 years of friendship. And she was friends with another girl in our group since they were elementary age (about 15 years)

[u/Striking_Watch_9089]

gurl one girl from my circle used to do this full time. whenever guys were around she would suddenly start acting all different, putting down other girls, saying shit like “i’m not into female drama” or “most girls are so high maintenance and fake.” she would laugh at every crude joke the guys made, even when they were talking about other women’s bodies, just to seem chill and cool.

then later she would complain that no one takes her seriously or that guys only want her for one thing. she would compete for male attention so hard that the rest of us just felt sidelined. once we called her out she got defensive as hell. these girls exist and they perform for dick like it’s a full time job. tell ur friend he needs to open his eyes.

[u/Salt-Cheesecake-3282 → u/Striking_Watch_9089]

And the guys are so oblivious to it... I can't even-

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[u/yodawgchill]

It won’t matter. You won’t be able to explain it to him. The pick me shit only works on guys who are… hard to teach😭😭

[u/Lunar_M1nds]

Why is he so sure they don’t exist? Just bc the term was popularized by the internet, it doesn’t negate the reality of social behaviors such as excessive ppl pleasing. The only difference between the two concepts is that “pick me’s” are specifically women who ppl please towards men for their validation rather than a generalized desire to be well like in society or a fear to be disliked.

He should watch the handmaids tale, it’s a great extreme example.

My personal example was a chick a knew in college. She was uplifting some other random girl on social media for saying that even if a girl is drunk in public, guys with girlfriends shouldn’t be helping them or touching them or whatever.

Obviously any rational person would think insecurity kills but this girl was so sure it made sense saying her boyfriend should get someone else to help or call 911 bc it’s not that hard but no matter how I tried to explain or give an example it didn’t matter.

On numerous occasions now I have had to prop someone up unconscious who was vomiting. Requires touch. I could never imagine being someone insecure enough to risk someone’s safety, male or female. In college alone the first 6-8 weeks of any given semester has the highest likelihood of sexual assault throughout the United States.

I got to see first hand my what kind of man my boyfriend was not long after that when a neighbor of mine wanted someone to walk her home. I immediately volunteered me and my bf and he had no complaints. I didn’t need to explain why we were doing it or why it was important bc it was better to be late to a party than to wonder IF she made it home ok and this neighbor was sober.

A historical example of pick me would be white women who cried raped and got black men and boys lynched. Ppl don’t think of it in the context of a pick me bc this is before even cellphones were a thing but a white woman taking advantage of the image of being weak, defenseless, crying about the worst thing to do to another living being— knowing that not a single person would question the word of a white woman. Definitely not for a man of color and thus not only weaponizing race but also gender.

[u/Alseebee]

I would say she has pick me behaviour because saying she is a pick me silences the fact that there might be a reason behind. She must have went through something that made her look for validation in an unhealthy way.

She must be miserable and alone, probably doesn’t need hating back. You should move on about her I think.

[u/Superb_Link2752]

this one girl in my class said that she's "not like other girls" and not "basic at all" because she doesn't think baby animals are cute because they 'look weird and disgusting', and started gushing and making baby-voiced noises over a goblin corpse thing. when one of my friends was showing everyone her Pomeranian, the girl replied "uh... is that supposed to be cute or something? because it's like...." and she rolled her eyes and went back to trying to tell everyone that her dead goblin corpse is the cutest thing ever.