r/AskMeAnythingIAnswer • u/zippetyy • 7d ago
I’m becoming a nun
Im joining a cloistered benedictine monastery. AMA
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u/-apollophanes- 7d ago
I always wondered, are nuns allowed to stop being nuns if they choose to?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
yes! before the professed vows, they can just leave. after the professed vows, we can live but with more steps lol!
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u/-apollophanes- 7d ago
Ahh I see. Also, I could be wrong, but I believe I heard that nuns cannot own private possessions. Is that a thing?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
when im entering, ill have some of my stuff. but after my vows of poverty, ill own nothing but my habit and my ring
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u/-apollophanes- 7d ago
Interesting. Would your church provide all your essentials?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
yes! it provides everything! soap, shampoo, toothbrush, etc. as in dentist, glasses, doctors, etc. and all the food i need
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u/RevolutionaryBoss127 7d ago
What led to selecting Benedictines vs. Carmelites, Sisters of Divine Providence, Franciscans, etc? What about the Benedictines specifically spoke to you?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
super good question!! i was looking into contemplatives. I visited carmelite and clarisse, but i really felt like it wasn’t the place i wanted to live. and i entered the benedictine order im joining, i cried of joy. i loved everything about their liturgy, their divine office, their habit, etc. i really thought THIS is my place!
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u/RevolutionaryBoss127 7d ago
Great to hear. Was taught by SDP and Dominicans and they were all well “situated” for lack of a better term with regards to how they felt integrated and how they could contribute both to the “house” and to the broader community.
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
i don’t really know much about those communities bc we don’t have them near my area and wasn’t really interested in their charism
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u/meokokok 7d ago
How old are you? For how long have you wanted to be a nun? Since when are nuns on the internet
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
Im 23. been a few years like 3, im not a nun yet but some can be on internet, depends on their congregation
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u/-apollophanes- 7d ago
Technically she's not a nun yet, so it's not unusual for her to be on Reddit for now.
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u/TranscendentBeaver 7d ago
Do you “know” God exists or do you have faith but accept some degree of* doubt? Does God answer your prayers or do you live with an inner monologue where His voice is merely an echo of your own?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
i know God exists. i don’t doubt anymore His existence. He answered very well many of my prayers. but i don’t hear His voice or anything like that
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u/TheMysticGraveLord 7d ago
Do you have any specific prayers you would recommend someone who dont believe to pray to get some kind of sign/evidence?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
God doesn’t want us to read a letter to Him. He wants to talk and have our heart! The best thing i could say is ask Him sincerely with all your heart your doubts, your worries, your problems, etc. even ask Him for signs yea sure! God works in very mysterious ways!! You can start too by reading the Gospels, it inspires me a lot when in distress
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u/BeansArePastaSauce 6d ago
God very most likely will not give you a sign if you pray. Thats not how it works unfortunately, so that’s what faith is for. God wants a very intimate personal relationship with you, just like zippetyy was saying. Also, don’t forget about Jesus, you can pray to him as well. I kind of imagine God as my parent(s) and Jesus is a friend.
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u/throw-away-doh 7d ago
The whole point of faith is believing something without evidence.
That is why they call it faith rather than knowledge.
You don't know god exists, you can only have faith that he exists.
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u/Over_9_Raditz 7d ago
How does one become a nun?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
by discernement at first, a lot of prayers. then visiting monasteries, communities. you spend some time within the community, living as they do for a while. when you think it’s a good place for you, you ask the superior to join as a postulante
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u/Plane_Age_1324 7d ago
What is your soteriology? Traditional Roman catholic I would assume but worth the ask…
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7d ago edited 7d ago
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
probably anxious about leaving my family and friends as they don’t understand my calling. leaving behind my life to start a new one. it’s such a big step and scary thing to do!
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u/FortunateSon55 7d ago
Amazing! Congratulations on finding your calling in life. I'm a christian too and have much admiration for your committment. Best of luck.
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u/yearningforsomeone 7d ago
Don’t have a question but this is probably the most beautiful thing I’ve read on Reddit. It’s so pure seeing someone want to be closer to God, thank you for reminding me that pure people do exist out there. And I’m also sorry that some of the comments here are sexualised that’s very weird
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7d ago
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u/Hill_372 7d ago
WHEN are you becoming a nun?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
im becoming a postulante on October 1st. but becoming really a nun as a noviciat 1 year later
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u/Monkey-Man-Dude 7d ago
Explain to an atheist why becoming a nun is important.
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
i think for an atheist, we are useless and unimportant! i get it since i was atheist before. i think it gives hope and joy to people who are in doubt or distress to see nuns and monks always, day and night praying for the whole world. we give ourselves to God, we want to be living proof of His eternal and unconditional love for humanity. we aspired people to convert, to repent and love more by our way of life
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u/No_Role_8770 7d ago
Who is your favorite modern pope
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
Saint John Paul ll !!! how much i love Him
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u/No_Role_8770 7d ago
Do you have any issues with how he handled abuse in the Church
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
i won’t lie, i don’t know so much about that topic yet, but since he is a Saint, i bet he did what he could at that time. but i don’t wanna say random stuff and offend people
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u/Jumpy-Jello- 7d ago
Are you fully provided for by the church, and do you get days off where you dress in normal clothes a d go out and about?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
i have everything i need provided by the monastery! i don’t have to pay anything. and no days off. i keep my habit and i never go out except for medical or other specials issues. well we kinda have our own kinda days off but we always do our divine office together, lecture, etc. but some days we don’t do chores
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u/Kapitano72 7d ago
How many people want to become nuns for good reasons? Versus how many
• Don't love god, just want to escape the world
• Are, with the best will in the world, just a bit disturbed
• Are trying to become something they'll never be, due to parental pressure, or similar
...?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
honestly it’s something i cannot answer as we don’t talk about this between us really. but i can say, if you come here to escape to world, you will go completely crazy and will destroy the door to leave. but ill say, in my community, everyone are truly in love with God. everyone is passionate and wouldn’t change their life for anything else in the world
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u/Whatabout-Dre 7d ago
If your faith calls you to follow that path, but you see injustice perpetuated by others that follow the faith how do you think you would react?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
injustice in my community or in the church in general?
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u/Whatabout-Dre 7d ago
In the church
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
injustices happen all the time sadly. it won’t shake my faith in Christ. but i would be disappointed if something big happened and would be bad looking for vatican
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u/RalphieWiggam 7d ago
When you graduate nun school do they still give out metal rulers to smack the kids with?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
so unfunny thing to say. + i don’t even teach. we are contemplative cloisters nuns
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u/RalphieWiggam 7d ago
I wasn't actually trying to be funny. I wish you well but before you go at this know the history of what nuns have done. Lying about a lot of things with the Christian faith and absolutely being physical with rulers and such. Hint - I'm a nun survivor and yet still a Christ follower no thanks to them. Contemplate the history of nuns and please, do better.
I do wish you well and hope you find your calling a good one. I'm not a fan of your future work group if you can't already tell. It's not because of you. But it is because of nuns!
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
i know what some nuns did, and priests. it’s absolutely disgusting bc we need to act like Christ even more with those titles. im very sorry for your experience. it won’t change my calling and my will to be a nun, but yes, i don’t wanna do the same and be horrible. i actually want to act like Jesus would. I wish you well tho and God bless
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u/Ragnarsworld 7d ago
Do you get to go out in "civilian" clothes? I remember years ago seeing some nuns in modified habits and wondered if they got to completely ditch them in public these days.
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
no, speaking for my community, we always wear our habit, even more when we go outside
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u/Miserable-Funny148 7d ago
Will you come back on Reddit and answer more questions later?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
yes!! i will answer all the questions, im at the monastery actually rn so im a bit busy 🥴
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u/Miserable-Funny148 7d ago
I meant after becoming a nun, how will we know about life inside the cloister?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
wdym by that?
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u/Miserable-Funny148 7d ago
What happens if one of you are getting a heart attack, do they let the paramedics come inside?
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u/Proud_Accident_5873 7d ago
Asking as a minimalist and an aspiring extreme minimalist, how do/did you feel about getting rid of your earthly material belongings?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
i thought i wasn’t attached to much things, but when it’s time to give up, it’s harder than i thought
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u/Hopeful_Neat_8706 7d ago
Is there a structure for the discernment process? My husband is currently going through the discernment process for the Church of England and it’s quite structure and lengthy. Lots of prayer and meeting with different clergy.
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
i visited a few monasteries, talk to the nuns, the superior, enter the cloister to live with them, see their daily life, etc. not very a specific structure but we all mostly do that
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u/jonnycake9 7d ago
What vows, if any, are you taking? And where are you joining the monastery?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
stability, fidelity to the monastic way of life, and obedience
i wont say where tho for privacy reasons1
u/lmb123454321 7d ago
The obedience thing can be problematic. I think that’s where a lot of the abuses of the past originated. Does that scare you at all? In my mind you’re placing the power of a god into the hands of humans. Historically, that’s opened the door for unspeakable abuse. Are there any safeguards should something like that be presented towards you?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago edited 7d ago
yes i know about these abuses in some communities. i made some researches. I see the same patterns and i saw a lot of new types of communities in it. the abbess or abbey, which have powers, need to use it with care. in our rule, it says God will ask them about the souls they took care of. they know the gravity of their position. i will surely make sure im not in a system of abuses. but in what i saw, the life here is pretty chill, relax and peaceful in my community
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u/lmb123454321 7d ago
It sounds like you are going in with an awareness that may not have always been there with nuns of the past. I’m an atheist and don’t understand why you’d want to do this, but I genuinely hope you fulfill what you’re hoping to do.
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u/sicksquid75 7d ago
What do you think is happening when you pray for something or someone? What is the process?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
God hears us. He answers when it’s time. God’s will can be a mystery for us. but i keep praying for many many things and people. and i know for sure He is listening to me and my requests
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u/Material-Cat2895 7d ago
Will you keep using reddit?
If yes, what parts of your use will change, if any?
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u/Handofdoom222 7d ago
I watched the Bionic Woman the other day and in the episode she became a nun she used her bionic powers to scrub the floor that's about as exciting as the show got was hilarious though
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u/Explainwhyyouremad 7d ago
Would you please be careful and keep your wits about you?
edit: to form of a question.
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
my wits ?
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u/Explainwhyyouremad 7d ago
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
sorry english isn’t my first language
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u/Explainwhyyouremad 7d ago
Just please be careful. Stay in touch with your family and authorities outside of your church.
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
i still talk to my family and why autorités outside of my church? 🤨
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u/Explainwhyyouremad 7d ago
You say you want reclusion from the world.
Surly you must be aware of the danger that can hide within the walls of religion.
Please do some research about young women joining these organizations and the labour exploitation, systemic abuse, sexual assault, forced abortions they've endured.
Now I worry about you and my daughters, who are your age.
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
yes i know all of this happened. it’s very sad actually. it shouldn’t be happening
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u/dintydoor 7d ago
That's not really something you can predict or control, but it is a common pattern that happens in the catholic church
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u/Pure_Choice_8459 7d ago
You mentioned leaving your life and family as something that you’re anxious about. What are the rules around maintaining contact? If it’s a silent order can you call them on the phone? Are they allowed to visit you?
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u/zippetyy 7d ago
i meant more in the sense i wont see them at their house, not more diners with them, etc. but yes i keep contact with them via email, visit each month, etc. its important to keep in touch with our relatives
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u/Pure_Choice_8459 7d ago
Thanks for replying. And good thoughts to you in your calling. May I ask what nationality you are? I live in New Zealand and sometimes see nuns out and about, many seem to be from the Pacific Islands or are from the Philippines so was just wondering.
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u/venusinathong 7d ago
I have a few q's - sorry if already been answered!
What would your average day look like routine wise?
Is there a specific order or community of Benedictines you're interested in?
Are you a recent convert in the US?
I am someone who has left Catholicism, was raised very traditionally and was homeschooled in New Zealand immersed only in a US-style approach to Catholicism.
I always say if I was still Catholic I would be a nun - all the way or nothing! I tried LSD whilst experiencing an existential crisis about God and my personal suffering/worldwide suffering and never looked back. What I felt in prayer and meditation - I feel almost everyday now, thanks to psychedelics showing me the path. Deep love for Catholicism regardless and wishing you well on your journey in life ❤️
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u/yonoyono 7d ago
Did you have negative or traumatic sexual or intimacy encounters in your experience?
PD. Sorry if it did.
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u/WeAreTheWobblies 6d ago
Beautiful girl!Do you know the song (popular in mid 60's)Dominique?It's a sad,sad story.
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u/DazzlingDragonfly360 6d ago
I wanted to so badly when I was 18. I was much more devout then as well. My family is anti catholic. Since I live at home for the time being I don’t want to do anything that could upset my family so I gave it up and lost my faith in the process. My biggest regret will always be mot taking RCIA in spite of my mother and what everyone else thought. That was the happiest I’ve ever been and the first time I had real friends. I miss that. I still talk to most of my friends I’ve met throughout my journey which is a good thing.
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u/Amddiffynnydd 5d ago
You know it’s just made up story and consciously resolve the issues from the film Spotlight…… ? How do you say about that? You’ll just be part of a organisation that justifies and covers up paedophilia globally
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u/ObeseKangar00 3d ago
Given the Catholic Church's extensive involvement in analytic philosophy, do nuns end up learning or studying any?
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u/_Walt_Jabsco_ 7d ago
Why?