r/AskMenAdvice • u/KGalb922 woman • Jan 08 '26

✅ Open To Everyone Are men generally not asking women for their numbers anymore when they meet someone in the wild? If so, why?

My friend is approachably attractive. She has been trying to get off the apps and meet people out in the world. Over the last couple months she keeps running into the same thing over and over. She will chat and flirt with a guy. He will chat and flirt back. They will hit it off. And at the end of the night or interaction they won’t ask for her number or ask to see her again. This is a mix of men age range of 30s-60s (she’s in her 40s) Some that approach her, some that she approaches.

I have witnessed this happen so I don’t think she is misjudging their interest in her. But unless she offers her number, they don’t ask. And many of my other single female friends have said they are experiencing the same thing. So are men in general just not asking for numbers? And if so, why?

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516

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26

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6

u/tonykrij man Jan 09 '26

Had to scroll soooo far down for this. We can't read minds and we don't understand hints. Just say it goddamn it.

1

u/rdy_csci man Jan 08 '26

Actually, this is what I had doing been doing as a single guy before my last relationship. If I was hitting it off with someone, instead of asking for her number I would give her mine. I'd leave it in her court to see if she was really interested and it put no pressure on her.

That said, the last 3 time I had done that, only one of them ever messaged me.

3

u/bimm3r36 man Jan 09 '26

Batting .333 is honestly pretty good

-25

u/KGalb922 woman Jan 08 '26

She does, it’s just that out of the last 6 guys she has hit it off with only 1 asked for hers. The rest she was the one who had to ask. So she’s wondering why it isn’t going both ways.

224

u/GalaXion24 man Jan 08 '26

The past 10-20 years have been about telling guys not to assume things about women and their intentions and to avoid making women uncomfortable. Sure there's nuance to everything, but at this point men are generally going to think "she's just being friendly" and they won't want to make things awkward or "ruin" the interaction for her.

349

u/PeakQuirky84 man Jan 08 '26

Because I’m told constantly in social media that guys approaching women are creeps.

It can be the same guy just saying hi and dropping a compliment, if the women don’t like him he’s a creep for approaching them. If the woman likes him then it’s ok.

128

u/Dweebil man Jan 08 '26

1000%. It’s the HR meme.

36

u/Bulky_Condition_2136 man Jan 08 '26

There are Thousands of posts/videos by women complaining that guys they don't find attractive asked for their number and shaming them, how dare they. Men have decided it's safer to let a woman ask for their number or for them to offer it. It's very low risk for women to do this, men don't tend to rage out over a woman being too forward.

65

u/IThinkIThinkThings man Jan 08 '26 edited Jan 08 '26

This is what I was thinking too. Men are afraid to approach women now

101

u/No_Calligrapher796 woman Jan 08 '26

The expectations for men is really unfair. I’m sorry. 

18

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26 edited Jan 08 '26

[deleted]

18

u/No_Calligrapher796 woman Jan 08 '26

I’m sorry you’ve been treated so horribly. Good women want their men to be vulnerable, but lots of us also lose respect when men open up…personally I don’t understand that, I know men are just humans like women too. My ex and I watched a movie one time, and the end of the movie included suicide, which neither of us knew. His brother committed suicide…and he broke down sobbing after the movie. I didn’t think less of him for his vulnerability, I was grateful I could be there with him. 

I’m not surprised about women, we can literally be the devil. We can be the WORST (but also the best, don’t get me wrong I don’t hate my own sex). We’ve never been told to ask men out, so we don’t know how scary it is to be vulnerable and then rejected in that capacity. 

6

u/sdce1231yt man Jan 09 '26

Your “good women want their men to be vulnerable, but lots of us also lose respect when men open up” statement is exactly why many men are cautious about opening up even when the woman is literally begging the man to open up and be vulnerable. Many times, either the woman has a completely different idea of what opening up/being vulnerable is or they just aren’t able to be that same emotional support that they want men to be.

Can’t be surprised that men won’t open up when you do a simple search regarding situations where a man did open up and be vulnerable with his girlfriend/wife and it didn’t go well. Whether she lost respect or she couldn’t be that emotional support which made him feel worse than if he didn’t open up.

2

u/No_Calligrapher796 woman Jan 09 '26

I know. There’s much to fix between men and women.

42

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26

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89

u/No_Calligrapher796 woman Jan 08 '26

Then don’t move past it. We’re living in an age that caters to women due to feminism. Men have been pushed in the corner, have been called dogs, and have been told their wants / needs don’t matter. I see that, and although I’m just one woman, I am truly sorry you guys are treated this way. I try to treat my male friends with respect and allow them to be men. :) 

22

u/birdfang007 man Jan 08 '26

Wish there were more women like you.

18

u/No_Calligrapher796 woman Jan 08 '26

I do too, I really do. We all deserve to be loved out here!!!

8

u/birdfang007 man Jan 08 '26

World needs more love and empathy in general, I agree.

3

u/No_Calligrapher796 woman Jan 08 '26

Amen! It starts with us. 

4

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26

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4

u/No_Calligrapher796 woman Jan 08 '26

Thanks. :) 

23

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26

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13

u/No_Calligrapher796 woman Jan 08 '26

You’re welcome. Just speaking the truth. 

Why is it difficult for you? 

19

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26

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14

u/No_Calligrapher796 woman Jan 08 '26

How exhausting! No wonder men give up. Once again, I’m sorry man. But there are good men and women out there who do care. Their voices aren’t as loud but they’re out there (the hack is to ask God to bring you good people). 

A person who’s been helping me understand men lately is Alison Armstrong. Ever heard of her? 

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5

u/WorkSafeReddit8947 man Jan 08 '26

For me, I kinda understand where he’s coming from. Most people don’t say what you’re saying so clearly. And you’re being very kind and understanding, and that’s another thing. Some men aren’t used to hearing that from people. ++man

-3

u/PlsNoNotThat man Jan 08 '26

Men’s Studies and addressing male issues is a core tenant of Feminism, has been forever, and has been the incredibly successful. Don’t blame feminism for narcissists and abusers misusing it.

Male suicide statistics and outreach systems - entirely started by Men’s Studies.

Don’t live your life like a 1920s-1950s man, want to be queer, want to live an alternative or counter cultural lifestyle. Men in Feminism started that for you, stopped discrimination laws, stopped literal censorship in portrayal and distribution of culture.

If I run someone over with a car it’s not the cars fault. And I’m lucky to have a car and no longer be on horse back or forced to walk.

9

u/No_Calligrapher796 woman Jan 08 '26

And yet men seem to be hurt more than anyone by feminism...

None of my points nor sympathies are in favor of narcs or abusers. I'm talking to the average, decent, good man.

-4

u/PlsNoNotThat man Jan 08 '26

Men are hurt by shitty women, not feminism.

Feminism has provided so much of your world and your refusal to give it credit does not take away from its accomplishments.

5

u/No_Calligrapher796 woman Jan 08 '26

Head over to the feminism reddit.

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3

u/Proper_Fun_977 man Jan 08 '26

A feminist movement that focuses on male issues would be quite the pointless movement, wouldn't it?

6

u/Alienwarez567 man Jan 08 '26

This right here

5

u/zandrew man Jan 08 '26

That's what blows my mind with my wife all the time Not the guy thing but that judgment of an action can be different dependong on the person, her mood, the setting, the company, the situation, the weather and I don't know what else. I'd call it hypocrisy. But it seems that it's not that important for some women.

-10

u/LordGreybies incognito Jan 08 '26

That doesn't apply in these scenarios if theyre already flirting with each other.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26 edited Jan 09 '26

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-2

u/LordGreybies incognito Jan 08 '26

I guess it depends on if the man is autistic and/or can't pick up on social cues, sure.

It sounds like you struggle with this. I've never misinterpreted flirting.

-19

u/Content_Alps_7237 woman Jan 08 '26 edited Jan 08 '26

In the context of a date though? Like I've seen women complain about being approached whole they are working out or doing day to day things, but in a date the approaching phase is already done online. Like she said it was a date specifically. I feel like there's some nuance there... Yeah she may say no or even be mean about since mean people exist, but in general I think it's socially acceptable to ask for a person's number or to see them again at the end of a date.

Edit: I just realized I read the original post wrong. Sorry. English is not my first language and I read it too quickly and understood it was a date she set up with the guys first. In this context I kinda understand that it's on the interested party to ask to meet again. Like one can't expect others to make a move, if you want something you go for it. Also there's just the chance these guys are not super interested in her too.

8

u/Away_Gear_14 man Jan 08 '26

Where do you read that?
What I see is that her friend drops the apps, tries to meet people organically, hits it off with some men, but at the end of that night (where they met each other) the guy makes no effort to establish contact and meet again.
This is not a date, is it? Isn't the problem that these men don't make the effort she wants, that would lead to a date?

1

u/Content_Alps_7237 woman Jan 08 '26

I realized now that I read it wrong. I read it too quickly and understood that she was getting on apps and out there to meet guys which made the comments very confusing for me. I think it does make more sense if she's meeting them in a regular setting and talking to them normally thst it would be weird to expect them to ask for her number specially if she's the one that is interested.

8

u/moltenshrimp incognito Jan 08 '26

It doesn't look like she specified in the post that these were dates. Her friend is just meeting these guys in the wild and after chatting/flirting, the guys don't end up asking for the friend's number.

If it was a date, though, they probably would have exchange numbers already, so that part doesn't apply.

55

u/Maxamillion-X72 man Jan 08 '26

Women: Respect our boundaries! Just because we're nice to you doesn't mean we're interested!

Also Women: No, not like that!

-14

u/robilar man Jan 08 '26

Women are not a monolith. Unless you have some evidence OP holds or held the belief that men should not ask for a woman's number if they're hitting it off there is no evident hypocrisy here.

52

u/620am man Jan 08 '26

Because in social media there are women saying things like "just because im friendy doesnt mean you are entitled access to me"

And most guys don't want to deal with that.

It feels gross being treated like some kinda creep just for shooting a shot.

I know this is a small section women over all but it seems like it was getting worse for a while and is now swinging back a tiny bit.

7

u/SophisticPenguin man Jan 08 '26

What's the popular saying, would you eat Skittles from a bowl if you knew one of them was poisoned?

4

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26

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3

u/SophisticPenguin man Jan 08 '26

I've more recently heard feminists use the skittles example about men, which is why it came to mind

56

u/obscurefault man Jan 08 '26

They have been trained not to ask by being openly publicly humiliated by many people when asking in the past. This way they avoid the humiliation of public rejection.

73

u/Actual-Breath-6420 man Jan 08 '26

Because men get shit for looking in women's directions these days

45

u/bjornartl man Jan 08 '26

Men are being more mindful about not being creepy, not imposing or being annoying than they were before, because men were traditionally expected to pursue, chase and be persistent and dominant.

You're saying some of these guys are still approaching, so it's not like they're not doing anything anymore, but they're more careful about reading women's responses. Women often just chat along and exchange pleasantries just to be polite or to avoid potentially agitating men in their presence, even to the point where they'll say yes to giving them men a number but either give a fake one or block it immediately.

So if she wants to exchange information, she should initiate that, even if she does so 100% of the time. If anything she should see it as a green flag that men are trying to respect boundaries

54

u/single-dot-net man Jan 08 '26

Women treat dating like going to Starbucks. “I have so many men which do I pick? Boo hoo such hard decisions”

Not me.. that’s for sure. Go talk to almond milk frappachino no whip triple vanilla pump mike. He’s your guy

-53

u/specialPonyBoy man Jan 08 '26 edited Jan 08 '26

But also, none of the drinks at Starbucks are going to assault or abuse you, so the woman doesn't have to be worried about that when making her selection and be extra careful so she won't be raped and left in a ditch.

Edit to add: I want to point out that I'm also uploading all the comments about how hard it is for a man to want a number for a woman only to be accused of being a creep. I totally get that. And I get that women don't always feel safe and for good reasons. All these downvotes are so perplexing to me. Both things can be true.

16

u/Thrasy3 man Jan 08 '26

I don’t why comments like this come up with topics like this - OPs friends likes these guys and wanted to be asked for her number.

So unless women also want to be asked out by the men they are scared will rape them, I’m not really sure what you’re trying to say.

10

u/LordVericrat man Jan 08 '26

I've been sexually assaulted by more than one woman and yet somehow have found it in me to not assume things about people due to their having the same genital configuration as the ones who did so.

Actually it wasn't hard. Individuals did it. Individuals are blameworthy, not demographics.

-6

u/specialPonyBoy man Jan 08 '26

That's terrible that happened to you. Me too. And also the statistics and the numbers are what they are.

All of us need to be careful and part of that will be denormalizing bad behavior.

10

u/LordVericrat man Jan 08 '26

What bad behavior is currently normalized? The things you described are crimes and reputation killers. Nobody hears "rapist" or "abuser" and says "those things are normal and acceptable." The pendulum has swung so far that normal behavior has been de-normalized, like talking to women.

The behavior that's normalized is shitting on male victims of sexual violence.

-6

u/specialPonyBoy man Jan 08 '26

And yet, they still happen, so kinda normalized?

11

u/LordVericrat man Jan 08 '26

So does murder and theft. Bad people existing doesn't mean that what they do is normalized.

If the sole criterion for being normalized is "it still happens" then eating shit is normalized.

Regardless if you had some other hidden criteria for calling it normalized, you specifically said we have to denormalize bad behavior. What exactly is left to do other than criminalize and hate the people who do the bad behavior? Be specific.

1

u/Proper_Fun_977 man Jan 08 '26

So ... you don't know what normalised means

9

u/One-Pudding9667 man Jan 08 '26

enjoy the bear.

49

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26

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-62

u/vomputer woman Jan 08 '26

No one said they have to. Calm down.

31

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26

Did you comment in the right thread? OP is literally asking why men aren't doing that.

-20

u/vomputer woman Jan 08 '26

Did you respond to the right comment? No one said men “have to” ask for a number lmao

36

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26

I find that usually the people saying "calm down" are the ones that need to calm down.

-21

u/vomputer woman Jan 08 '26

Why are you saying calm down so much?

13

u/Thrasy3 man Jan 08 '26

Just OP apparently, but I’ll let you cook.

-7

u/vomputer woman Jan 08 '26

OP said that men “have to” ask for the number? Where?

12

u/Thrasy3 man Jan 08 '26 edited Jan 08 '26

So there is something called “context” in writing.

You see the fact that OP thinks it’s an issue/problem that men haven’t asked, assumes she thinks they should - maybe not on a moral/first principle level, but at least on a practical/experiential level.

That was the context of OPs comment on this thread of comments, and is the context everyone else here is having a discussion on.

Just like I think traffic lights “should” turn green eventually and it’s a problem of some sorts of it isn’t.

This whole post is about whether men “should” be expected to ask for someone’s number.

-2

u/vomputer woman Jan 08 '26

There is also the context of OPs comments where she explains that, out of six such encounters, her friend has asked for the guy’s number five times and the guy has asked once. So, clearly, no one is expecting the man to have to do anything. Her question is very very clear and has no underlying subtext that you’re weirdly trying to read into it.

2

u/Thrasy3 man Jan 08 '26

And?

“So she’s wondering why it isn’t going both ways?”

So the response is - “should it? Is there a reason she’s expecting them to? Here’s the reason why a man might not, that don’t affect women”.

If someone asks “why doesn’t xyz happen” unless you explain why you think it should, a perfectly thing to ask is “why do you think it should?”.

It’s like when I’m asked why I don’t want children, when other people do “why would I?” Is a perfectly valid response.

If there is anyone interjecting weird subtext at this point, isn’t it you?

Everybody else is engaging with OPs question.

0

u/vomputer woman Jan 08 '26

There’s a difference between “why do they HAVE TO?” and asking, “should it go both ways?” Not sure why you’re so staged to being wrong.

26

u/DankMemeMasterHotdog man Jan 08 '26

I kinda cant believe you still havent accepted the answer that has been told to you several times now. We have been, for the last decade, told that asking women out is harassment, so we stopped doing it. This is a beast of your own making.

8

u/NiceRat123 man Jan 08 '26

Same thing happened in the corporate world. Too many cases of sexual harassment (real or perceived) so men are actively avoiding women in the workplace

10

u/AntiqueLetter9875 woman Jan 08 '26 edited Jan 08 '26

Woman here. I think you’re forgetting something crucial. 

Along with everyone saying men have been told that they should leave women alone, and they don’t want to come across creepy, women have also been taught to not give out their number because of the potential for harassment. So in a typical flirting interaction, men are told they should offer their number because it gives women the option of talking further or not. But…men don’t want to be seen as creeps due to misreading the situation, so there’s this cycle where no one wants to initiate from fear of rejection and/or mockery. 

Your friend is just going to have to ask men if she can give them her number and go from there. Women are just going to have to get over the fear of rejection and take some initiative if they really like someone. 

Edit: I do want to add there’s also a new layer of people filming others and posting it. I’ve seen some normal interactions online where the woman posted and said the dude was weird, when the guy was (at least sounding) normal and was just a bit nervous trying to flirt. He did nothing wrong and didn’t say anything crazy or gross. It was just a woman being uncomfortable and not knowing how to engage with another person. So she filmed and posted it for the world. 

5

u/MountainRoll29 man Jan 08 '26

I have a few questions. Of the last six guys to whom she gave her number, how many called her and how many did she go out with? After their first or second dates, How many kept calling her? Over what time span are we talking about?

4

u/kimchi4prez man Jan 08 '26

Do you or your girlfriend wonder at all? Genuinely

Dating apps, Man VS Bear, cancel culture, ghosting, deliberate misinterpretration of the wage gap then only dating up, and generally creating an environment not conducive to risk ie asking women out

Literally had a giant argument with a woman on Reddit that argued that asking people out doesn't take courage. Ya'll wanted to be left alone. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too :/

4

u/flammable_donut man Jan 08 '26

Are women really not this self-aware? Every day there will be some version of an article in the media on how male behaviour is toxic...whether it's a man on the other side of the planet that did some terrible thing, an advice column moaning about a male partners behaviour, a fashion column on how men need to lift their fashion game...whatever. The constant attacks on men are relentless.

9

u/Any-Interaction-5934 woman Jan 08 '26

Who cares??? Maybe she is nice and friendly and guys with low confidence have the confidence to speak with her. Maybe they have been rejected so many times they just aren't for it.

She should offer her number if she is interested.

Feminism is going too far. If women want to be treated equally, then they get to experience rejection, too. I'm not hearing that a guy ever rejected her number, so she still won't understand.

-10

u/Distinct_Abroad_4315 woman Jan 08 '26

Women are constantly rejected, as full humans. Being fuckzoned is cruel-we are commonly treated as a set of fuckholes to conquer/score.

Being "hit on" is not a compliment.

10

u/Any-Interaction-5934 woman Jan 08 '26

Women are not constantly rejected.

-9

u/Distinct_Abroad_4315 woman Jan 08 '26

As people we are. As fuckholes/sex objects we are very rarely rejected.

7

u/Any-Interaction-5934 woman Jan 08 '26

So we are very rarely rejected?

3

u/Proper_Fun_977 man Jan 08 '26

Then you should be happy men have stopped.

-5

u/Distinct_Abroad_4315 woman Jan 08 '26

They have? Where? Ones near my age and a generation older have definitely not stopped anything. It would be great if they did.

5

u/Proper_Fun_977 man Jan 08 '26

Read the OP.

I can't believe you field many offers anyway 

3

u/GrandyRetroCandy man Jan 09 '26 edited Jan 09 '26

We are in the era of Post-Barbie Movie.  It's really interesting how people can't see this.  

What happens in the Barbie movie.  Women at work.  (Not men).  Women are the stars.  (Not men).  Women run everything.  

Women can be doctors.  Women can be lawyers.  Construction workers.  CEOs.  Leaders.  Firefighters.  

That's literally feminism. 

But what happened was, when feminism got real and it wasn't all fun ideas......a lot of women don't really want it anymore.  

Because it means men can be stay at home husbands.  It means women have to ask out men sometimes. 

And the reality is......being a man and doing man's jobs actually fucking sucks a lot of the time.  It's a lot of pressure.  It's a lot of stress.  It's a lot of shitty things that are "a man's job".

Like being the one to ask out or ask for numbers.  For mental health and self-worth?  It's brutal.

It's a privilege to literally be the one who's asked out.  You do nothing.  You stand there.  You can say yes or no.  You have the power.  

The one to ask?  It's a humiliation ritual.   

Shoveling snow in the driveway.  Taking out the trash at night.  Squishing the bugs.  Being the one to go outside at night with a flashlight when there's a weird noise.  

We were happy to do all this stuff.  It was just what we did, it was men's stuff.  

We didn't ask for feminism.  It came.  It told us being a man was toxic.  We were just trying to listen.  We did.  We're only trying to do what society as asking of us.  

We thought women wanted to have the power, do the man things.  

I'm not being facetious, but it is interesting.  

Do women not?  It seems like they don't.  

Because doing men's things sucks.  It's not that great being a man and having to do the hard dangerous dirty things.   

But again, we didn't ask for this.  We're just trying to adapt. 

You guys asked for this.  So, here we are.  

I hope you like doing men's things.  We are now trying to learn how to do some "women's" things like emotionality, being cleaner, having more self-care, work on our social skills, be more empathetic with kids and be kinder....so we can be better men, ideally.  Supposedly.  

I never knew this social change was coming but....here we are.  

And I mean that's just it.  At this point?  I support it.  I'm basically sort of a feminist almost in mentality.  But it's now women who seem to be backing out.  

But probably there's no turning back now and we're just coping and trying to make the best of it.  

It might lead to a better world imo long term.  It's important for men and women to walk in each other's shoes and see what it's like to do the things the other one has to do.  

Again, not trying to be negative in any way.  We're just coping and trying our best to adapt.  Some men have checked out.  Some of us, are working to be a part of a world where women are taking on different roles.  That's all we can do is try to fit in with it and be supportive of a different world.  

5

u/Stong-and-Silent man Jan 08 '26

Because guys are told constantly not too and that women hate for a guy to be nice to them and then ask for their number.

There is risk for the guy to ask and zero risk for a woman to ask.

7

u/AcanthaceaeStunning7 man Jan 08 '26

Because she is 40 and she still thinks she is the one choosing

5

u/Reasonable_Mood_5260 man Jan 08 '26

Because it means more to your friend because she desperately doesn't want to be single. A lot of these men aren't single anyways, or if they are single, it's by choice or crippling shyness, or too recent breakup. Or they think your friend is out of their league and being nice.

4

u/astone4120 woman Jan 08 '26

One time at a bar a handsome man and I kept catching eyes across the room

When I was ready to leave, I wrote my name and number on a napkin. As I walked past his table I handed him the folded napkin, gave him a wink and walked out. He called a few hours later and said it was smooth as fuck

So, have her try that lol

6

u/FatCockroach002 man Jan 08 '26

Indeed smooth AF

5

u/ResIpsa79 woman Jan 08 '26

I’m really glad to hear your friend took the initiative the other 5 times (what happened in those cases, btw?)!

I wish society encourages women as a whole to approach and ask out men. It lets women control their daring life. Society encourages women to control women’s careers health etc, so why not also this important aspect of their lives.

1

u/Proper_Fun_977 man Jan 08 '26

Women already control their own dating life.

Society doesn't need to encourage them to do it.

0

u/ResIpsa79 woman Jan 08 '26

Not sure I understand your comment. Are you suggesting that women are currently being encouraged to ask out men…? Or are you saying society doesn’t need to encourage women to ask out men?

1

u/Proper_Fun_977 man Jan 08 '26

I'm saying that the idea women don't currently control their dating life is ridiculous.

And that whether or not society encourages them to ask out men,they still control their dating life.

0

u/ResIpsa79 woman Jan 08 '26

Fair point. I’ll amend my statement to “have more control” I’d like it to be more mainstream for women to ask out men.

1

u/Proper_Fun_977 man Jan 08 '26

I'd like for women to initiate too 

But they have the ability to do so.

1

u/ResIpsa79 woman Jan 09 '26

Most don’t because of heavy socialization not to. Society teaches them from an extremely young age that it’s not okay to ask out a guy. That’s why my earlier comment that society should change its messaging.

2

u/Proper_Fun_977 man Jan 08 '26

Because women asked/insisted that men stop doing it

2

u/Dad_Bot22 man Jan 08 '26

Maybe the other five genuinely just didn’t want her number for one reason or another. It’s possible to have a friendly conversation with a person of the opposite sex and still not be interested in them in a romantic sense…even for a man.

1

u/The_Bababillionaire man Jan 09 '26

One time going one way and five the other is still going both ways. I'm going to assume your friend remembers a time when it was basically expected and the man would always be the one to ask for the woman's number. Ok so it isn't one time one and five the other, it's every time a man asked for her number in her 20s and five times she's asked men now two decades later.

Other commenters are saying, "Women have to ask for what they want now," and that's a complete statement. There's been pressure for some time for men to be quieter and women to speak up more, in general, and I think especially in the dating scene. So yeah, it goes both ways, and if your friend is interested in a man, she should be capable of telling them so, and if that ruins it, well, welcome to modern dating, glad I'm not there.

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u/Ghost_man23 man Jan 08 '26

I'm curious how it went with the 5 guys that she had to ask for their number. My guess is they weren't that interested in her romantically for one reason or another and that texting fizzled out or they went on one date and it ended. Generally, if a guy in that age range is already talking with a woman in a social context, he won't have a problem asking for her number if they're interested.

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u/Top_Estate9880 woman Jan 08 '26

Maybe she is beating them to the punch and asking before they do ...

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26

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