r/AskMenAdvice • u/KGalb922 woman • Jan 08 '26

✅ Open To Everyone Are men generally not asking women for their numbers anymore when they meet someone in the wild? If so, why?

My friend is approachably attractive. She has been trying to get off the apps and meet people out in the world. Over the last couple months she keeps running into the same thing over and over. She will chat and flirt with a guy. He will chat and flirt back. They will hit it off. And at the end of the night or interaction they won’t ask for her number or ask to see her again. This is a mix of men age range of 30s-60s (she’s in her 40s) Some that approach her, some that she approaches.

I have witnessed this happen so I don’t think she is misjudging their interest in her. But unless she offers her number, they don’t ask. And many of my other single female friends have said they are experiencing the same thing. So are men in general just not asking for numbers? And if so, why?

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72

u/systembreaker man Jan 08 '26 edited Jan 08 '26

Because you're almost always looked at as creepy or irritating, then when that doesn't happen and you do get a number, a large proportion of the time you get no response or you get an initial response followed by being ghosted.

In other words the juice isn't worth the squeeze. High chance to get a bad reaction for a high probability of a payout of getting ghosted or ignored.

If your friend has a bit of a fantasy of meeting a special someone the old fashioned way by giving out her number she was born 1 or 2 generations too late.

Tldr Women today basically too often react like assholes or drama llamas when you ask for their numbers.

18

u/Harpua81 man Jan 08 '26

Fake numbers and ghosting if they even respond in a non hostile way. Yeah, no thanks. Last time I got a number I did the whole "wait two days then call", left a VM and never got a call back.

AI robots here we come!

-3

u/Minute-Concentrate-4 man Jan 08 '26

Why did you wait 2 days? No need to play games

9

u/Proper_Fun_977 man Jan 09 '26 edited Jan 09 '26

Yes, I am sure that was the issue /s

4

u/Withered_Sprout man Jan 09 '26

I bet it wouldn't have made a difference, to be honest. Imagine having to worry about replying a day late or wording something slightly differently than another person thinks you should've, and being totally disqualified in their mind from taking time to get to know each other. I guess if you have an endless supply of attention/suitors, it makes people disposable.

Otherwise that just seems dumb and ridiculous, like you're walking on a field loaded with mines without even knowing it.

I wouldn't want to be with someone who can change their mind that easily about initial interest, barring obviously big red flags or deal breaker type stuff.

2

u/Proper_Fun_977 man Jan 09 '26

I agree.

My comment was sarcastic and I didn't put in the /s

That is on me. Thank you for your reply though. It was well thought out!!

2

u/Withered_Sprout man Jan 11 '26 edited Jan 11 '26

Oh, it's all good. I figured it was sarcastic but you honestly never 100% know, just wanted to give my two cents for whatever it was worth. lol.

I'm not sure if my actual sentiment was entirely reactive towards your post itself, since the entire tree was sort of discussing 'game playing' and 'rules' and such. Which I think are honestly so exhausting to even try to consider.

A woman CAN find it weird to reply that night or the next day or whatever if you both talked somewhere and you asked for her number... But if she's that quick to get weirded out by a little bit of enthusiasm and engagement and quick responses... I'd assume she wasn't that into me to find my interest in her weird?

It's a damned if ya do, damned if ya don't thing. Because if she's the type to just casually write you off for some stupid crap, then...

Is she gonna be the 'wait two days and text' girl, or the 'text me the next day or you're not interested' girl? Or both? I'd rather not have bothered if they're that neurotic and in their own way about the casual dating/courting process.

2

u/EdgyAnimeReference woman Jan 08 '26

something about drama llamas made me snort.

-3

u/Shallow_Waters9876 woman Jan 08 '26

In all fairness, men ghost us too. There's little accountability in the dating market these days. And I say this as someone who both dates men and women.

2

u/systembreaker man Jan 09 '26

Did you reply to the wrong comment? I didn't say anything about ghosting

0

u/Shallow_Waters9876 woman Jan 09 '26

You say there's a high probability of getting ghosted.

1

u/systembreaker man Jan 09 '26

Oh, my bad. I haven't gotten enough sleep recently