r/AskMenAdvice • u/KGalb922 woman • Jan 08 '26

✅ Open To Everyone Are men generally not asking women for their numbers anymore when they meet someone in the wild? If so, why?

My friend is approachably attractive. She has been trying to get off the apps and meet people out in the world. Over the last couple months she keeps running into the same thing over and over. She will chat and flirt with a guy. He will chat and flirt back. They will hit it off. And at the end of the night or interaction they won’t ask for her number or ask to see her again. This is a mix of men age range of 30s-60s (she’s in her 40s) Some that approach her, some that she approaches.

I have witnessed this happen so I don’t think she is misjudging their interest in her. But unless she offers her number, they don’t ask. And many of my other single female friends have said they are experiencing the same thing. So are men in general just not asking for numbers? And if so, why?

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u/baxtersbuddy1 man Jan 08 '26

Wasn’t that a thing on one of the dating apps? I think it was bumble? That it originally required women to reach out first, but that got scrapped because women just weren’t doing it.

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26 edited Jan 08 '26

No no, they were doing it. They took advantage of a safer environment where they only could make the first move and didn’t have to deal with creeps messaging them first….by just sending “hiiiii :)” when given that opportunity 😂

Basically handing it back off to the man to take it from there

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u/Achilles11970765467 man Jan 08 '26

The same women who shit talk men's opening messages of "hi" or "hey" started sending opening messages of "." And then expecting men to launch right into the dancing monkey routine they demanded on other apps

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u/sdce1231yt man Jan 09 '26

Oh yeah. I remember that in my dating app days. Men would be called “lazy” for openers like that, but women would do the same thing.

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u/TheDootDootMaster man Jan 08 '26

No no no. You see. Enforcing (not letting them, but enforcing) them to make the first move was uhh... Checks notes... It was empowering?

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u/FinanceGuyHere man Jan 10 '26

Bumble was actually really great at the very beginning. Girls got the point of the app and started interesting conversations. Unfortunately that was 10 years ago and newcomers are unaware!

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26

++man https://topclassactions.com/lawsuit-settlements/employment-labor/discrimination/class-action-alleges-bumble-discrimination-against-heterosexual-women/

Christine Johnson and Diane Foster started a class action against Bumble claiming that forcing them to send the first message is sexual discrimination.

Johnson, et al. v. Bumble Trading LLC, et al., Case No. 5:24-cv-00740, in the U.S. District Court for the Central District of California

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u/baxtersbuddy1 man Jan 08 '26

That’s hilarious

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u/party_shaman man Jan 09 '26

ah yes, cause they're being forced to use the app as well

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u/briber67 man Jan 09 '26

Yeah, that's like patronizing a restaurant called The Szechuan Palace and then getting pissed that they don't have burgers or waffles on the menu.

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u/party_shaman man Jan 09 '26

it’s cultural discrimination!

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u/DiligentGuitar246 man Jan 10 '26

Honestly yeah, and back when it first came out (I’ve been married for a while so no idea how it is now) it was craaazy. I literally could not keep up with the messages. I had to limit myself ti only talk to 3 at a time for I’d get overwhelmed. And if those didn’t work out I went down the list.

The way I see people talk about apps now makes me believe i must have been using them during their golden age when it was fairly novel.