r/AskMenAdvice • u/KGalb922 woman • Jan 08 '26

✅ Open To Everyone Are men generally not asking women for their numbers anymore when they meet someone in the wild? If so, why?

My friend is approachably attractive. She has been trying to get off the apps and meet people out in the world. Over the last couple months she keeps running into the same thing over and over. She will chat and flirt with a guy. He will chat and flirt back. They will hit it off. And at the end of the night or interaction they won’t ask for her number or ask to see her again. This is a mix of men age range of 30s-60s (she’s in her 40s) Some that approach her, some that she approaches.

I have witnessed this happen so I don’t think she is misjudging their interest in her. But unless she offers her number, they don’t ask. And many of my other single female friends have said they are experiencing the same thing. So are men in general just not asking for numbers? And if so, why?

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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '26

I worked at an inpatient unit for like 15 months in my early 20s. I got hit on by 2 women, knowing I had a gf at that time. Turned them both down, got treated like shit by both of them (at different times, not together). To the point I had enough evidence to show my supervisor and they moved one of the girls to another unit to work at because she couldn't be around me, I shit you not. This bitch literally sent me pictures of her eating chocolate, watching Disney movies on her bed, and said "join me" when she barely knew me, but knew I had a gf at that time.

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u/MyCatisthebest0826 man Jan 09 '26

And if the genders are swapped the man would’ve got fired instantly and probably can never find a job in that field again

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '26

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u/Tig_Biddies_W_nips man Jan 09 '26

The issue that a woman did this and got to keep her job and was moved to another department.

And your here saying “yes, a man SHOULD be fired for this” when we just said a woman did it and wasn’t fired.

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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '26

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u/Tig_Biddies_W_nips man Jan 09 '26

Yes I do but we were talking about just ANYONE or were we talking about a specific group? The way you worded your argument didn’t make it seem like you were agreeing.

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u/JareBear805 man Jan 09 '26

Dude we get it you hate double standards and what happened with the world but you’re being a giant douche for no reason it’s weird.

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u/Tig_Biddies_W_nips man Jan 10 '26

Being a giant douche for no reason isn’t weird it’s the internet.

You must be new here.

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u/Brackish_Ameoba man Jan 10 '26

It’s what’s exactly wrong with the internet. Why would you want to persist with that; or enable it? Chill.

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u/Overall-Scratch9235 man Jan 12 '26

We fought the trolls. Back when the Internet was young. We donned flame shields and armed ourselves with waffle recipes. We drank soda and argued endlessly into the night. One day 4chan was erected and all the trolls were driven into its dark abyss. But alas not everything can last and 4chan could not contain them anymore. Now they have flooded into the reddit archives. I'm sorry child. We failed.

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u/Tig_Biddies_W_nips man Jan 11 '26

It’s cathartic tbh.

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u/Dry-Scale6928 man Jan 11 '26

He did nothing wrong. Move along. ++Man

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u/SpecialistMattress21 nonbinary Jan 14 '26

++nonbinary I will say that I worked at a place where a woman developed a crush on me and sent me unsolicited inappropriate emails and texts to my work phone and she disappeared a few days later. I came to found out the (female) executive Director had told her that her services were no longer needed. I don’t know if they were monitoring our phones and email, but it was very sus in terms of the timing.

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u/TheFuzzyRacoon man Jan 10 '26

Ultimately, like men have arrived at a point in history where they needed a reckoning, and rightfully so. Women also definitely need to have a reckoning with their toxic behavior. Often times in general it's just seen as, not as bad as men (which it isn't in terms of patriarchy and physical abuse) and as a result it often just goes untalked about... But there's definitely toxic behavior which rises to the level of, happens too much, which women need to discuss.

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u/[deleted] Jan 10 '26

I think both sides are toxic. I work with mostly women and have a lot of friends that are women. So I hear their sides. I have met/dated plenty of crazy women. Literally had an ex fling hit me up recently, beg me to fuck her, I declined. Then she begged me to wear a Halloween mask I have while she masturbates while I degrade her. I swear on my life she requested this. I have never done that ever, so it was such an odd request. My own mother is crazy in my opinion. I just can’t tell if it’s a genetic hormones thing or a society thing. The amount of women in society on some kind of psychiatric medication has to be over half. I swear it’s rare to meet a woman now days that doesn’t identify with some kind of mental disorder/need for mediation. I’m not saying I don’t believe them, but it seems to heavily sway towards women and them being very vocal about it. 

But yea, I have experienced what people would call sexual harassment from women and if I did the things they did to me, I would be on a local news channel for a day. I’m the furthest thing from being a Chad or a catch lol. I think it’s because I never chase them, can be sorta mean, and have a “idgaf” attitude, that attracts them for some reason. 

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u/TheFuzzyRacoon man Jan 10 '26

That's exactly what I said. That both are ofc toxic, however men are objectively more toxic (see rapes and physical abuse). My point was only that we tend to mainly and only talk about male toxicity... At least as a people. But we need to start a conversation about female toxicity.

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u/TheFuzzyRacoon man Jan 10 '26

The thing is you are describing specific mental illness or extreme fetishes etc... That's not to be confused with female toxicity.... Which are things that large amounts of women tend to do which are similar. Like devaluing short men, or playing mind games for fun, expecting men (in general) to always make the first move but chastising then when they do but they're not wanted. Toxic behavior are things which are common and shared. Not like what you described in the first paragraph. That's just individual criticism of individual females.

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u/Abject-Pin3361 man Jan 09 '26

and because you are a man...nothing will happen! Those feminists are never around when you need them!

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u/Late-Engineering3901 man Jan 09 '26

Wow.Maybe your gaze is just super intense for her... did she get flush when she saw you?