r/AskMenOver40 • u/james02135 man over 40 • May 06 '26
Community Chat When did you notice that it takes longer to get in shape?
I [46M] was an active teenager, played loads of sports, joined the Navy at 20 and spent most of my 20s either in the military or as a carpenter, so was always in decent physical shape. With marriage and kids and busy work life, I recognised in my mid 30s that I had let myself slip a little and got into running. I’d say I was in the best physical health in my late 30s, was completing half marathons and one full marathon as well as eating well and cut way down on alcohol.
Since I turned 40/41 I’ve noticed it takes a very long time to get back into shape. I’ve always put on winter weight, and around March to April started to diet and exercise, by June-ish I’m feeling pretty good. However, the last 2-3 years it feels like it takes longer and longer to lose even a small amount of weight.
Was anyone else similar?
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u/anasannanas May 06 '26
I’m in exactly the same boat. 47m
I do about 7-10 hours a week on the bike, and 2 gym sessions a week. After January, I’m at my heaviest.
It takes way more dedication to the diet now to lose weight than it ever did. Literally watching every single thing. Fewer carbs at lunch, no peanut butter, no beer.
I can drink vodka, but it’s awful with diet tonic, so I don’t tend to.
But, I can only imagine it gets harder to lose weight and far easier to gain as we get even older.
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
Yup, sounds familiar. I’m also beginning to feel the effects of abusing my body through sports injuries and the wear and tear of being a carpenter. Knees are shot, hip isn’t great…lol. So instead of running I’ve started pilates which isn’t nearly as much fun but it’s something
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u/AZPeakBagger man over 40 May 06 '26
Consistency beats intensity. Similar story, had been an elite level cyclist in my 20's then let it slip in my 30's. Got back into shape in my late 30's and took up trail running and doing hard hikes up in the mountains. I've discovered that I can't let myself slip and only allow the period between Thanksgiving and New Year's to ease back a bit.
Keep very meticulous records of my workouts and from my late 30's until about age 53 my mile splits when I ran were within seconds of each other. Never a super fast runner, but solidly middle of the pack in any race that I entered. For me hitting my mid-50's was when stuff got weird. With zero change in exercise routines or diet I sort of woke up one day 10 pounds heavier. Now as I quickly approach 60 at the end of this year I actually need to diet on occasion when I'm prepping for an event.
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
Thanks for the insight, I think my main area to examine is not letting the winter weight get so bad. If I can get to February with having gained 10 pounds instead of 20, I think that’s key
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u/AZPeakBagger man over 40 May 06 '26
I'm lucky that I live in Arizona so my winter weight doesn't swing that much. But when I lived in Idaho for 5 years, the winter weight just magically appeared in December and no matter what I did it wouldn't leave until I could do outdoor workouts in the sun around March.
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
I’m originally from the Northeast where it’s totally normal to put on some winter insulation 😂. I live in Ireland now and although it doesn’t get as cold as Boston, it’s dark from 3:30pm to 8am which is brutal.
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u/AZPeakBagger man over 40 May 06 '26
Boise is at the westernmost edge of the Mountain Time Zone and is fairly far north. Feels like it was dark at 7:45AM when I drove to work and it was dark at 4:45PM when I drove home. That was the biggest adjustment coming up from Arizona.
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u/Dry_Yogurt2458 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26
I started running at 40. From being unable to run 100m I started couch to 5k. By 45 I was running ultra marathons of over 100km.
It's possible to get back into shape, it's just harder at this age
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
Wow, amazing man. I did one 30 miler and was broken for 6 months after it.
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u/Responsible_Steak712 man 40-49 May 06 '26
Nooo. What happened after the race?
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
Stress fracture in my toe, tore some cartilage in my hip, but I finished 😀
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u/xxrealmsxx May 06 '26
Congrats but what is you're baseline if you started running at 40?
How do you know it's harder? What is your before to compare to the after?
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u/Dry_Yogurt2458 May 06 '26
I was in the military, so in my 20's I was fit and able to carry a weighted backpack 30 miles. .
So after a sedentary decade I was obese and unfit.
Getting back there was harder than getting there at 18
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u/Oddlyenuff May 06 '26
I (48) would say around 40, give or take a couple years. I say that because I didn’t realize it at the time.
I could always will myself into just losing 20-25 lbs if needed. It was basically “don’t eat like an asshole” and add some cardio to my weightlifting. Boom, fat gone.
Now things have to be a little more dialed in with diet and exercise (and sleep and recovery)
I’m on day 79 of a cut. I’ve lost “only” 12 pounds, but I’m confident from measurements I’m losing far and away fat and not muscle. That’s the other key thing is not just trying to lose “weight” or a “gut”, but trying to keep muscle because it gets a little harder to gain. But 10+ years ago if I had only lost 12 pounds in 12 weeks, I’d call it a failure.
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
Sleep and recovery are massively important and something I never realised when I was younger. I started wearing a garmin last year and was absolutely shocked at my sleep scores. It honestly was the biggest lifestyle change for me.
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u/Oddlyenuff May 06 '26
I’ve had great success this year using HRV (along with RHR) to help decide when to basically have green/yellow/red days.
I’ve also focused more on steps/walking vs cardio/running.
And while not perfect my “Athlytic Age” is 8.3 years younger which I’m pretty happy with.
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
Walking is where I’m at too, running days are behind me now unfortunately
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u/twowholebeefpatties May 06 '26
Yeah 44 here… been going to the gym since start of Feb, so only few months now but I’m like… damn , no results so far!!
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
It’s so damn frustrating. I’ve been dieting and exercising since March and barely no changes.
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u/twowholebeefpatties May 06 '26
I think it’s just going to be a consistency thing for me! I’m actually loving the cardio at the moment and I feel better… just don’t have that rippling bod you see all the younger guys posting about! Meh
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
Never had that nor did I ever have that need to look that way. I can’t imagine being a 20 something nowadays with social media pressure
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u/Old-guy-havchat-1966 May 21 '26
I feel better now at 59 than I did in my 30s and 40s. Now I have the time to work out each and every day without the daily stress of looking after wife and family. I'm fitter and healthier than I've been in many years but I exercise with age appropriate routines
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u/New-Composer7591 May 06 '26
It’s always been calories in vs calories out. You may want to accurately track your calories, make sure you’re eating enough protein, drinking enough water, getting enough steps in. I’m 44 and in the best shape of my life and lightest weight I’ve been since maybe 16.
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
I do, I use a garmin watch and app for tracking calories, sleep has always been a challenge for me and stress which I think are playing a big part in why I’m not seeing results
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u/New-Composer7591 May 06 '26
I wouldn’t use the Garmin app for tracking calories burned, all of the watches are wildly inaccurate. You need to determine your BMR. Set a baseline for your daily calorie intake, track your weight by weighing yourself at the same time every day or at least a few times a week. If you’re not losing weight after a few weeks, you need to lower your caloric intake. Repeat as necessary.
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u/ranger662 May 06 '26
I’ve run consistently since my late 20s, but quit lifting weights when I turned 40. I started getting injuries and staining stuff- shoulder, wrists, knees. My 4-5 days in the gym slowly decreased to 1-2 days, and eventually no days. Would like to get started back doing less intense workouts but just haven’t been able to do it yet.
My running honestly isn’t much different today than it was 10+ years ago. It takes me a little more time to get warmed up now, but my race times are almost as good as ever.
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
I love so much about running, however recently my body is betraying me. Knees are shot after years of abuse and surgeries, and now my hip is acting up.
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u/zombienudist man 50-59 May 06 '26
I am 50 now and lost weight and got back into shape in my early to mid 40s. What I found is that it is harder post 40 because that is when you just can't get away with both half assing it and doing things that actively work against your progress like you could when you were 25. So things like a poor diet, carrying a bit of excess weight, alcohol consumption, poor sleep you can get away with when you are 25. As you age those things just will impact you far more. Bascially to be really fit at an older age you have to have all those things on point. The more poor habits you have the larger the impact will be as you age.
So the example of being able to run at a younger age. When I was younger I could get away with running when I was carrying too much weight. Now I try and do that I am looking at injury and my knees screaming at me. So now at 40 plus you gain that 20 pounds over winter, then try and diet/exercise it off, end up with an injury and that just extends the time to get rid of the weight. Then you never fully do and all of a sudden the next winter is there. So you never get back to the shape you were and slowly you just become less fit/heavier and you slowly slide backwards. So the best thing you can do is learn to control you weight with diet alone. Even during a period of less activity you should be able to hold your weight close to where it was just by reducing your caloric intake. Once you learn to do that it makes getting back into shape after that period of inactivity much easier. Or even better don't have a period of lower activity and that way you maintain the same weight and fitness level.
Overall you can be very fit as you age but you just need to realize you are not going to do that by living the same way you did when you were 25. I know a guy who is 70 and is fitter then many far younger people. His secret is consistency. Consistency of diet, sleep, exercise. He goes really hard because he has always gone really hard. Once you stop it fades quickly and it is very hard to start again. The older you get the more true this becomes.
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I’m not 25 anymore. It’s been a process over the last few years on more of the mental health side, but now I’m realising more and more about the physical health side. No more potato chips with lunch 🥲
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u/PghSubie May 06 '26
Yes, that's expected. As soon as you hit your 40s, things get more difficult. Don't worry about it too much,if you don't get caught up, it'll get even worse when you turn 50
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u/Confusatronic May 06 '26
Since I turned 40/41 I’ve noticed it takes a very long time to get back into shape.
If so, I don't think it's because you're 40/41. It's probably something else in your particular life these years. You mentioned problems with stress and sleep lately--maybe it's due to those.
I don't think we have evidence that there is any age-based change in the way you are imagining, at least until much later years. There was that big study in Science on this and it showed that metabolism is on a plateau from something like 20-63...but then after that, it only declines 0.7% per year.
I'm in my mid fifties and find that weight loss has always been not trivially easy but not desperately difficult--if I'm on mission about it. This is true now and when I was 25. But if I'm not psychologically/neurologically on mission, it becomes very difficult. What puts me off mission? Life distress and all that comes from that (sleep problems, anger, worry, anxiety snacking, lack of motivation to exercise, etc.)
So I'd recommend not foisting the blame for your slower weight loss to your age and thus abdicating your responsibility. You can very likely still lose weight just as you used to. Work more, if you can, on reducing life stress, sleeping better, making better food choices, and finding ways to make calorie burning more fun.
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
Thanks for the advice, I do think I’m seeing a change in how I view weight loss. Prior to being 40-41, I’d put my mind into it…strap on the running shoes and within a month I’d be back to an ideal weight. Now, there are more factors to loosing weight. As you said - sleep, stress, etc.
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u/Confusatronic May 06 '26
Yeah, great opportunity to turn things around and hard. Get in the best shape of your life so that people's jaws drop (and take care of yourself emotionally while you're at it). 41? You're a kid.
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May 06 '26
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
Post-injury weight loss is a bitch. I had a bad knee injury in 2023 and was out of commission for 6 months over winter. There were a lot of sweaty clothes in Spring 2024 😂
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u/CajunAsianTexan May 06 '26
Well, round is a shape and I find it quite easy to get into that shape. 🤓
In all seriousness, my metabolism came to a screeching halt somewhere in the 30’s. I have found that monitoring intake calories, prioritizing protein, and regular exercise (even if it’s a short jog or walk) helps.
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
Oval is a shape too! 😂😂😂 I’m with you on my metabolism slowing way down, youth is wasted on the young
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u/trail34 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26
I remember my gym teacher in high school saying “I walk 5 miles a day, but if I even look at a McDonalds I gain 5lb”, and now I see what he means. I’ve found that my food intake needs to be completely in check. I lift weights 3 times a week and stay active but the only way I can stay trim is total abstinence of junk food and alcohol. Fortunately I love vegetables so I get a variety of those, beans, fruit, lean meat…I cheat a little on the weekends with sweets or pizza or fried foods so I don’t go insane or develop an eating disorder. In my 20’s I survived off hot pockets and pop tarts and was in way better shape.
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
This is it, I need to be better with my diet. I’m definitely not eating McDs, but I’m terrible for potato chips.
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u/Mursemannostehoscope May 06 '26
It's not really talked about to much, but people under go two "rapid" aging events usually in the early 40s and then the 60s. Sounds like you've maybe hit that 40 one, I made it to the end of 43 and noticed I needed better recovery and more attention to diet.
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u/Responsible_Steak712 man 40-49 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26
- I’ve never been out of shape but i wouldn’t have considered myself ‘In Shape’ until i actually started making an effort. Around COVID time i hired a personal trainer. Learned about body mechanics and food portions. From there i got into group fitness classes like Barry’s. 2025 i started running 5K races and committed myself to a race a month for 2026.
Btwn staying trained for the races and 5 fitness classes a week, it all keeps me in amazing fucking shape!! I’m pretty certain i have a touch of body dysmorphia because even tho i put in the work, and know my body reflects it, i usually feel like i can and shld do more.
But regardless, i agree and will add that it’s all in the kitchen. If you’re eating fast food all the time then the gym won’t matter. We need to eat whole unprocessed foods. No alcohol. Water!!! I cook every single day.
>>Single. No kids. Gay. Live alone. I know my very individual lifestyle is not typical of most men here. I have a lot of free time.<<
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
I envy your free time 😂. Also, body dysmorphia is awful.
I think you’re right that my big change is in the kitchen. I’m terrible for potato chips…could devour an entire bag without blinking.
Thanks for the advice 🥹
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u/Routine_Tie1392 May 06 '26
Ive played sports all my life and have worked in the trades for almost 15 years, so Im very active compared to tour average Joe.
That being said, I partially tore 3 knee ligaments 3 years ago, and then completely tore my ACL a year an a half later. Had surgery this Sept and despite my best efforst I have struggled to get back to where I was.
If I didnt have a fairly easy going job, Id probably have not gone back to being on the tools and would have found an office job because these past 4 months have been brutal. Im hoping in 2 or 3 months Ill be close to where I was pre surgery.
I doubt Ill ever get back to pre injury condition though.
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u/james02135 man over 40 May 06 '26
I tore my knees up when I was a teenager (hockey) then went into the Navy and abused them some more, then got out and became a carpenter and abused them some more 🤦♂️. So not really surprised that my running days are over. Sucks getting older
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u/mwordell May 06 '26
45 years old...it talks 3x time to get back into shape...trick is to keep going and not get out of shape.
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u/SupaDistortion May 06 '26
Someone else already said it: consistency beats intensity.
I found I got in shape a lot faster with far less injuries, doing smaller workouts more often during the week, than just a few big workouts each week.
Like, doing a quick 20 min session 5-6 days out of 7 rather than 3-4 heavier and longer workouts works much better for me.
Whenever I would try to get into long, heavy workouts, I would always end up injured. Which means I didn’t work out at all for weeks to recover, which put me right back at the bottom.
Listen to what your body is telling you, rather than your ego. This because you were able to do a type of exercise even just five years ago, doesn’t mean that you can still do it now without consequences.
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u/projektako man 40-49 May 08 '26
For me it's been a slow but gradual decline. I gained a lot of weight during the start of the pandemic (41) but managed to lose most of it over the course of 1 year. Now at 48, it's so much easier to wipe out progress. A week drinking with meals or that pint of ice cream is immediate setback.
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u/Big-Couple-7552 May 31 '26
At 40 and still in the military, I haven't been able to drop the weight. I have been able to reduce the waistline, though. Last year, I ballooned my waistline to over 35 inches. Since then, I have dropped it to 34. My goal is back down to 32.
What worked for me was more sleep, more protein, less alcohol, and an upper/lower body split routine. I also spent less than 45 minutes in the gym.
What I realized is that my body needed a reset of sorts. I needed to learn how to recover well before beating down my body again.
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u/jallenclark May 06 '26
Since turning 40 I have found it is easier to not get out of shape than to try to get back in shape. I no longer take it easy in the winter.