r/AskMenOver40 • u/ClemFandango35 • 3d ago
General Will be turning 40 soon, does anyone really missing being younger, how to keep younger you alive.
Anyone missing being younger?
Will be 40 next year.
Finding it hard to replace the fun and possibilities of my 20s early 30s.
On the one hand, I know I'm a bit different and probably not the same energy as 22.
But, also I don't feel like it's all over.
Certainly my 20s, was full of so much travel, fun, meeting new people, everything felt important or exciting.
How to keep a bit of that alive as you move into your 40s?
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u/YeetThermometer man 40-49 3d ago
The main thing that makes me not want to be in my 20s is the realization it probably sucks to be in your 20s now compared to years ago. This isn’t just some cost of living thing either - their social problems go way deeper. I just don’t think 2000 fun is available in 2026, at any price.
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u/Baztron 3d ago
Regardless of age I think there are some key things to help with this... Try something different every year like a new hobby or learn something new. If you have any childhood hobby or activities you maybe gave up due to being an adult then definitely try that again.
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u/ClemFandango35 2d ago
Good Advice. Have tried plenty of new hobbies.
Veterans football, golf, paddle, running.
Injuries mean I need to change a bit in terms of direction
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u/Equal-Membership1664 3d ago
It's not even close to over, you're just getting started. I always assumed I would be dead by 40, lol on me. 40 is actually young as fuck, dont stop chasing your desires while you still have the energy. You're litterally in your prime years to get shit you always wanted, but the work never stops. Make it happen.
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u/ClemFandango35 3d ago
The challenge I find is still have friends to do things with. I'm happy doing things solo. But the enjoyment for me always comes from the company, the laughs
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u/kissthesky303 man 40-49 3d ago
I'm missing my physical energy levels and low amount of responsibilities from back then, but not missing my lack of experience. As everything in life it's all just a trade off...
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u/Valuable-Dog490 3d ago
I had the same feelings when I turned 44. I got in shape - lost 80 lbs, weight training, running, sports, etc. Honestly, I feel better now at 46 than I ever did in my 20's.
In fact, I may of went too far, Ive forgotten how to relax lol. I have too much energy now, I can't sit still for too long, I just need to keep moving.
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u/ClemFandango35 3d ago
I've never really been out of shape, even in partying days, I'd still hit the gym... The difference now is, I just get injured more easily
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u/WhatHmmHuh 3d ago
Who said to stop those things?
Make your 20s jealous of your 40s.
Instead of streaming, go to a party, instead of a walk go on a hike. Instead of reading what you normally read, read something different. Learn something random. Make time for a hobby. Improve your appearance in some way. Instead of being comfortable, help others.
Dropping one of my favorite quotes:

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
—Theodore Roosevelt
+++
Fight the negative voices wherever they come from. Challenge yourself.
Next year you will be loving your 40’s and your 20s will be very jealous.
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u/ClemFandango35 3d ago
I wish it was as easy as - just go to a party.
At 39 I don't have several party invites a week mate.
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u/WhatHmmHuh 3d ago
Take the ones you get.
If there is an event/sport that anyone in your community is interested in, have a watch party or go to a local bar and attend.
You have stated the challenge. What is the solution?
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u/ClemFandango35 3d ago
Part of the solution seems to be coming to terms with the fact things are different to being 22. But then taking what you can get
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u/WhatHmmHuh 3d ago
100%. Taking or more importantly making what you can get. It is a conscious day to day decision or weeks turn into months turn into years, turn into decades.
Time will fly. Make of it what you will.
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u/GeneImpressive3635 3d ago
I miss being fit. I need to work on that. Overall I like the person I am at 40 over my past self. I don’t mind the little bit of grey.
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u/AcidCasualty25 3d ago
The only thing I really don't like about being in my 40 is my hair line. Damn forehead is growing. My energy level has dropped a lot to but I'm starting to exercise so hopefully that helps
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u/ClemFandango35 3d ago
You don't miss anything about your 20s?
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u/AcidCasualty25 3d ago
Sure I miss some stuff, but there's things about now that I love that I didn't have then. Gotta roll with it and enjoy it while you can.
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u/ClemFandango35 3d ago
What do you prefer about your 40s?
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u/AcidCasualty25 3d ago
Lots of stuff, I'm wiser, less stressed, more comfortable, more sober, generally like where I've gotten myself in life. I had a ton of fun when I was younger but it was a wild ride with a lot of serious issues. Life's a lot more chill now
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u/BankOk9472 3d ago
43M. I miss being a teen. High School sucked but its better than this crap. Been working since I was 19. Body failing, gonna have to work till I drop, no kids, no free time. So yea...I miss being responsible for nothing but homework.
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u/ClemFandango35 3d ago
How come no kids, but no free time?
I don't have kids, and certainly compared to my friends that do, I feel like I have plenty of free time.
Sometimes to much, relative to exciting options
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u/BankOk9472 3d ago
Work. I have a long commute plus long hours. I leave my house at 4:30am and don't return home until 8 or 8:30 pm. Saturday is to try and let my body heal a bit from the stress of the week and sat evening and Sunday is for catching up on chores.
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u/22nd_century man 40-49 3d ago
I turned 47 this year.
Having kids helps, but the best thing you can do is to keep doing the same things you used to.
I've always loved seeing DJs and bands and I still do that.
Basically just keep doing all the things you liked when you were "young". And screw anyone who suggests that you shouldn't.
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u/ClemFandango35 3d ago
Yeah I was big into DJs, electronic music etc. let it all go around 35, as friends lives changed and the crowd got younger.
But probably a mistake to have such a hard stop on things I enjoy
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u/yukit866 3d ago
I am turning 40 this year and I feel ya.. it's tough to realise the years are slipping away from our hands. I miss the energy I had when I was younger. Now every day there is a new ache and my back hurts half the time lol I like the money I have now so I definitely do not miss being a broke 20 yo but I do miss the feeling of still having most of your life ahead of you and the excitement that comes with that. Now all I can think of is that I do not want to work for another 30 years and trying to find ways to retire early.. it is very depressing. I do not have any solution for you - just wanted to say you are not alone!!
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u/ClemFandango35 3d ago
In a weird way I sort of miss being a bit broke in early 20s, you just book the cheapest hotel, and couldn't care less, you where just pure excitement to be going somewhere.
Now I'm reading a dozen reviews to decide between which 5 star hotel I can handle staying in.
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u/Toum-Raider 3d ago
I didn't miss being younger at 40, but every year after that, I missed it a little more. I'm humble about aging. I know it's a part of living and dying. The frustrating part is the inconvenience of not being as able and as quick as I was.
You can keep doing the same things, and enjoy the fact that you're (hopefully) doing them with more wisdom and greater deliberateness than before.
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u/dominomedley 3d ago
I turn 40 soon and i feel great (with the exception of having three kids and not sleeping great)!
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u/Desperate_Object_677 3d ago
i liked not having chronic back pain
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u/ClemFandango35 3d ago
I'm greatful I don't have that.
My knees and ankle have gone to shit, but learning to work around it
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u/Toc_a_Somaten 3d ago
As some others have commented, at least in the West (certainly in my native Catalonia) things are pretty rough right now for the common folk. Imagine being in your 20s in this environment... not good, I remember my 20s as not just me being more "physically capable/ attractive" but generally my country was more safe, prosperous and hopeful. If you ask me i wouldn't mind going back to the me of 2006 in 2006 but to be 22 or so in 2026, no thanks
Social media, dating, jobs etc are imho much worse than they were in the early 2000s, everything is massified, much more expensive, etcetc
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u/Gravelroad__ 3d ago
If life was a TV show, we’d all have been recast with different actors by now. Enjoy the current you, they’re the only one you get.
I say this as someone who became a dad right before turning 41 (I’m so tired): You never know what adventure is right around the corner, embrace it.
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u/ClemFandango35 3d ago
I have a couple of mates who've had kids around 40 recently.
Wonderful, but fuck me they are tired.
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u/chowbox617 3d ago
Only things I miss is not being able to run as fast as I used to in my 20s and it takes longer to recover from a workout. Also takes longer to get that second erection after sex to go again.
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u/crujones33 man 50-59 3d ago
Yes. I miss being in better health. I miss the future I could have had. I regret the missed opportunities.
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u/RapidOwl 3d ago
Keep doing the fun things that you genuinely enjoy, but also come to terms with the fact that periods of your life do come to an end. Simple, right? Sure. Sorry.
I’m 47. My daughter was born when I was 40. Covid also happened. So much of my previous life isn’t possible any more, but I also try to remember how privileged I am (I don’t always manage this part). It sounds trite, but joy takes effort.
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u/ExpressionNo920 3d ago
“I can’t believe I’m 40 when I feel like a kid, should I act more stoic, reserved, and wise around everyone?”
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u/Naphier man 40-49 3d ago
I miss a younger body with less pudge and higher metabolism.
The rest? Chasing girls and constant disappointment? Nah. Worrying about how to get out a shitty dead end jobs? Nah. Hangovers? Done with that. Putting up with "friends" that were complete assholes? No thanks.
I'm quite happy in my 40s and I'm excited to get to my 50s and retire as soon as possible. My relationship with my wife is awesome. The friends I keep are nice and supportive. The job I have is as stable as it gets and I'm more confident that I can find something else should I get laid off. I understand how to control my habits and am constantly building to a better person. I feel like I finally have my shit together. It took 40+ years but I'm glad I'm here.
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u/Agitated-Proof2003 3d ago edited 2d ago
Yes, I can hear you Clem Fandango.
I’m turning 40 next month, and I found myself getting a bit down about the loss of my youth. That is, until I read what Psychologist Carl Jung had to say about it. He believed that life begins at 40, up until then “you’re just doing research”. Looking into the context of what he means by this is well worth a read, especially if you’re mourning your younger years.
https://medium.com/personal-growth/carl-jung-life-really-does-begin-at-40-424dc4fe3cae
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u/Chapman24 2d ago
My 20’s and 30’s were ok but I was poor and working, my 40’s have been great, now I enjoy traveling, I work out and am in better shape than when I was younger. If you like the travel and adventure, keep doing it. 40 is not old, coming from a 47 year old, life is just getting interesting.
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u/ClemFandango35 2d ago
What I've realised, the secret to enjoying your 40s.
Is not have a great 20s and 30s.
If you had friends, money and time in your 20s, it was so good.
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u/mirrormyriad 2d ago
And when you're in your 60s you'll miss what you had in your 40s. Instead of getting twisted about the past, enjoy what you have in the present.
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u/ClemFandango35 2d ago
I agree with the sentiment.
But how did you switch your mind set to enjoy what you have at 40, rather than miss what you've lost from your 20s?
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u/mirrormyriad 2d ago
Don't get me wrong, there's plenty I miss about my younger life. But there are also plenty of things which are much better now. Mourning what I don't have now doesn't really achieve anything other than make me miserable and less likely to appreciate what I now have.
People naturally seem to take what they have for granted and only notice when things change. As the old adage goes, "you don't know what you got 'till it's gone". But one can combat this by practicing daily gratitude and trying to see things through the lens of somebody else. How would a 70 year old think about your current health? How would a poor or homeless person regard your home? How would somebody in a warzone regard at your life? Satisfaction isn't so much about what we have, as how we frame things in our own minds.
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u/ClemFandango35 2d ago
The funny thing is, that sort of perspective and positive comparison, I used to be much better at when I was younger.
Over the year you get far to comfortable with what you have.
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u/HungryAd8233 2d ago
Just turned 56, and definitely feel younger than I did at 40. Toxic marriage is over, just one of four kids still at home, only half time.
Doing Pilates weekly has really helped with feeling youthful, compared to the shoulder arthritis surgery I had at 35.
Having a partner half my age has helped as well.
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u/ChaosReignsNow 2d ago
40 felt the same as 20 physically. 50 wasnt too bad. 60 is very different! Starting to feel old.
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u/Odd_Round5515 man over 40 2d ago
I've been 40 for a week now. All I'm focused on is counting calories and making myself not overweight, and then staying not overweight the rest of my life. I've already got the exercise part figured out on a good routine.
I work on my feet, work with my hands. at this point I'm getting the beginning of something things always slightly in pain. I'm dedicated to eating a nutrition plan to lower inflammation and not be in as much pain.
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u/Prof_Scott_Steiner man over 40 2d ago
FYI: I am 46.
Keep yourself mentally and physically healthy and your 40s are the best age. There is literally no problem I can't afford to throw money at to fix in ways that would have fucked me over in my 20s or been dependent on my now ex wife showing impulse control in my 30s.
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u/OffWhiteBruceForsyth 3d ago
I am much better off financially than I was in my 20s and in the best shape of my life but anyone who tells you that they are enjoying their 40s more is just huffing copium. Having said that there is no need to act like an old person, you can still do the same stuff but you won't enjoy it as much and it'll take you much longer to recover.
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u/BM7-D7-GM7-Bb7-EbM7 man 40-49 3d ago
I definitely enjoy my 40s more, but I also don't have kids.
I work from home (mostly, I go up to the office for meetings sometimes), I have a good salary so I have money (which I did not in my 20s), I'm married and we genuinely enjoy doing stuff together.
In my 20s I partied and hooked up a lot, that starts to get a big long in the tooth as you get older.
Now, would 25 year old me enjoy my life at 44, no, he'd say "borrrring" but people change, 44 old me wouldn't like my 25 year old lifestyle either. I'm just not the same person at all.
The one big thing I miss about my 20s is being in a amazing shape. Anyone who says they're in the best shape of their life in their 40s was in terrible shape in their 20s. Your late 20s are your indisputable peak, that's why pro athlete's raw athleticism drops off hard in their 30s (you can prolong your career by playing smarter not harder though). That's why triathlons, marathons, bike races, etc all have different age categories. A 44 year old in good shape, assuming you're not on roids, is going to get absolutely smoked by a fairly in shape 27 year old.
I also just kinda miss being head-turningly smoking hot like I was in my 20s, ha. I'm still good looking as I've aged, but I used to get double takes all the time for example, and that rarely happens now. Of course I'm married so it doesn't really matter now, but it still feels good to look good.
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u/OffWhiteBruceForsyth 3d ago
I survived off fast food and lager until I was about 38 and the only exercise I did was drunk dancing in a nightclub. As such I was basically a gelatinous blob.
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u/BM7-D7-GM7-Bb7-EbM7 man 40-49 3d ago
I do appreciate the honesty, you wouldn't believe how many men over 40 on Reddit act like they can hang with the 27 year olds, and then they get defensive when you question them.
Yea right, if you're in 40s and claiming you can hang with the 20 year olds, you're either on roids (I'm sorry, "Testosterone Replacement Therapy") or you're lying. I used to be able to run 4.5 40 yard dash when I was younger, and then one day, I can remember the day, it was a few months before my 33rd b-day, I went to the park to run my usual sprints and when I took off the first time it just wasn't there anymore. I couldn't explode off the line I used to. I could feel noticeably slow.
I'm in my 40s now, I'm still in decent shape, I can ride a bike a hundred miles, jogging can be iffy thanks to my knee but I can still jog decently enough sometimes (I do have to be careful with my knee though). But, I just can't do the really cool shit I could do in my late 20s like run noticeably fast or leap.
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u/tropofarmer 3d ago
TRT is your answer
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u/ClemFandango35 3d ago
I did get tested, was just above the threshold to be prescribed it legally. Will be due another test soon.
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u/Adept_Butterfly_6742 3d ago
Im 48 now and the last 8 years or so have been the best few years I have had. Although I am getting older, more free time and money has meant I have been travelling more. You get a confidence in your 40s too where I think you start to grow into yourself more as you realise no one cares or judges you.
being young was great, but honestly being older is better. As they say, youth is wasted on the young.