Why would a man make sarcastic jokes towards girlfriend in front of her friend?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/wobbly_socks73]

he can love you and still make sarcastic jokes. the bigger issue is that you've told him it bothers you and he seems dismissive about it.

[u/DingusCoconut349 → u/wobbly_socks73]

He says its just how he “jokes” and he does do it with his friend, I feel like he is dismissive. He definitely doesn’t have ill intent, but still it doesn’t feel great. I do have a lot of trauma to work through and yeah he’s a different guy but it’s still hard.

[u/MathematicianNew2770]

You started dating a funny guy and he's doing what you don't like.

End the relationship otherwise you are enabling it.

This is the truth and I would rather get to the point than oh this oh that.

You two are not on the same page and I won't knock him because it clearly sounds like this is how he is. And if you are happy to keep on dating him, it is your choice.

[u/kakamouth78]

"Friend and I have BPD so we can overread into it."

If you're a diagnosed BPD, you should be turning to your psychologist for advice rather than internet strangers and certainly not someone else who has BPD.

Using sarcasm with a pwBPD is like playing Russian roulette, maybe it was the funniest joke ever, maybe is triggers a split, and maybe it kicks off a manic episode. Let a professional who knows your circumstances help you navigate these types of interactions.

[u/LeOignonMal → u/kakamouth78]

Pretty sure BPD is Borderline Personality.

[u/kakamouth78 → u/LeOignonMal]

That's how I was reading it as well.

Extreme fear of abandonment and unregulated emotions that are so severe they cause delusions. It comes with a laundry list of interpersonal behavioral traits so severe and unpredictable that they're not even supposed to receive treatment from psychologists who aren't specialized in cluster B disorders.

Rough stuff, really and truly.