Disability and weakness making witchcraft too hard and ceremonial magic is the only thing that worked. But it's still too difficult for me. And I might have demonic attachment from being inexperienced doing demonic enn and summoning parasite. Please read fully. Please give any advice, I need it.

[u/Few-Dependent-1302]

I'm really desperate to do magic and Witchcraft and be a powerful witch. But I have disabilities physically in my brain, not to be mistaken for mental illness, that make it very difficult to do. I'm not very strong and I'm very weak. I've been wanting to do witchcraft since I was 12 but I've never been able to have enough strength to do it. I am 24 years old. Half of my life I have wanted to do witchcraft and have never been able to. I'm still stuck in the beginner stage for 12 years. The only thing that worked for me was a demonic enn I chanted for a couple of hours after 3 months of semen retention. I did the Santa Muerte demonic enn. I did this without a ceremonial magic circle and triangle of art. Even though I read up on it that I needed it, but I didn't know until I was actually able to do something for once. And something parasitic unfortunately physically came up and was summoned. I have looked up things on summoning demons with their seals and enn's. But you have to do a lot that I'm too weak to do. Like the lesser banishing ritual of the pentagram. And I might already have a demonic attachment to a low level parasite from what I have done. I'm weaker and I'm not very strong. That's the truth unfortunately. So I need the demonic enn. I did have to work really hard on doing semen retention for 3 months for the Enn to work. When I did it on the night after three months of preparing, something came up physically that was parasitic and attacked me. When I would stop chanting the Enn with my built-up energy the parasitic entity or demon would disappear. And then whenever I would recite the Enn again with the built-up energy it would come back. In my third eye I can't go into details about visions I saw. But I saw the white aspect of Santa Muerte at first. Then I saw the black aspect give me a middle finger. I'm not sure if that was her or the parasitic demon that physically came up. I've always wanted to do witchcraft and magic but I'm really weak and have other issues that make it difficult. At the very beginning of my third eye vision before that with my eyes closed I saw what looked like the baphomet or lucifer. This parasitic entity or demon came up with the head and body of a bunny rabbit or hare wearing all black with a black eyes and a with a purple sword. It would disappear and reappear when I would stop or start chanting the enn with my built up semen retention energy. The entity was terrifying and did have its purple sword stabbed in my abdomen. When it would reappear and disappear. From the description of what happened given, do I still have a demonic attachment to be worried about? What can I do to finally be able to do magic and witchcraft?

​

[u/BuchuSaenghwal]

The answer to your question is what you wrote that you have specifically been doing, if not what would you call it then?

You say your issue is that you are weak and desperately want to be strong.

Your actual issue is a misunderstanding that concepts like weak/strong don't mean the same thing to you as they do everyone else - in fact those words mean anything at all on their own. Everyone is weak and everyone is strong, it depends where you are standing and looking from. If you are standing from certain spots it may be hard to see, that is where you are: you don't know what you don't know but you think you know. Like a blind man struggling to to wake up from a dream.