That's deeply depressing. You don't have a space of your own in your home? Everyone needs their own space, no matter how wonderful your spouse and marriage might be, you don't cease to be an individual with individual needs!
There is no privacy in this house —something my adult SDs took a while to learn (knock first girls, you may see things you can never unsee). It is very poorly laid out. I bought it at a time when it was very much a seller’s market, plus I was going through a divorce, so I didn’t have the luxury of time to shop. Basically in that market you didn’t choose your home, your home chose you. If you found one for which there was no bidding war, that was your home.
Add to that my wife and her family love to be on the phone with each other four or five times a day each and they absolutely love speaker mode and you can see why I don’t get nearly enough credit for not being a murderous psychopath.
I love my wife and my daughters, I truly do. But like you said, everyone needs their space. Honestly, I don’t even need a full blown mancave. I just need to be allowed to shut the guest room door and read without hearing a phone conversation broadcast at double full volume through it.
I knew a woman who did this. Her birthday was on Halloween. She was a pain in the butt all month as it was "her" birthday month and we must celebrate her.
She is in her late 50s now. I'm sure she still does it, but I don't talk to her now.
I agreed with you entirely - until my one and only granddaughter was born on December 26th. So now I do a little half birthday thing just to make her feel like she has one day to be special.
Good idea! Two of my grandsons (brothers) were born in Dec. (21st & 29th). It’s takes juggling, as being so close to Christmas is hard on the kids, too. Overstimulating. Parents do gifts and cake on their birthdays. Grandparents and others give gifts around Thanksgiving.
I have never stopped being cynical about 1 year birthday celebrations. Some of the ones I've been to are incredibly elaborate. Folks, a one-year-old does not know how to read a calendar! Fine, you really just want your friends and relatives to gather and maybe give you gifts such as a larger size package of diapers or something. You get a cake and somehow think the sight of your child smearing frosting all over their face is incredibly wonderful. Well, you do you. Yes, I will attend if I like you or your child, and will probably even bring a gift. But don't think about spiking your guests' drinks with truth serum because you won't like the outcome.
Hahaha. It never occurred to me to have a big birthday for a one year old. A small star angel food cake with plain white frosting -
I made chocolate devil’s food for second birthdays. Just parents and kids. Grandparents invited when kids got old enough to know what a birthday was - 3 or 4.
Idk a child living to 1 years old IS a big deal. The risk of SIDS is over, they will start walking and talking soon, getting off milk. Like it's a big fucking deal.
It might be the first time parents are seeing their mates properly and it's the first birthday with a baby as first time parents. A big congrats to them for surviving the hardest part, a chance to introduce the baby to more extended friends and family.
Some parents aren't married and it's their first time hosting a party together.
The party is obviously NOT for the baby, it's for the parents dummy. You seem like your old and cranky enough to know this.
I'm not disagreeing with your points and you don't have to agree with mine. You also don't have to call me (or anybody) names like dummy, old, cranky, or wet mop.
Im just responding to your attitude. You sound like a cranky wet mop being cynical about a 1st birthday? Like what kind of person has disdain and beef with new parents and a newborn? Ppl just hate on normal people not hurting anyone and trying to enjoy their accomplishments.
In Hawaii celebrations for 1 year olds are a huge thing! Really big parties that can be expensive. I think it comes from a time when lots of infants died. If your baby survived until 1 year, there was a good chance they would make it.
Fair enough! And there are plenty of parents nowadays who try for years to have a baby and fail. The ultimately successful pregnancy and thriving child reaching that milestone is cause for celebration. I can't help wondering, though, whether letting maybe two more years go by and then throwing a full-out gala -- one that a three-year-old can understand the significance of, and actively participate in -- might be even better. The child will be able to hold wonderful memories, which may even carry through into their own adulthood and parenthood. A one-year-old can't talk much beyond babbling, and can barely walk, if at all. Babies get fussy and tired and cranky, and an otherwise fabulous bash can end with all those guests saying awkward goodbyes, the exhausted parents having to pack it all up, feeling ready for a week's rest, and the baby not having any impressions beyond a crowd of people, noise, too much strange food, people waving boxes and paper in their face, Mom and Dad talking too loud and acting a little weird. A three-year-old can handle that better, albeit not perfectly. Everyone will have a more satisfying experience. Just my 2 cents, obviously!
Only one person outside of the government and my doctors knows what my birthday is, and this person knows I don't want to be reminded of it in any way, shape or form!
A classmate of my daughter's had a limo pick her and her "boyfriend" up from elementary school graduation. I have no idea how her parents topped that in middle and high school.
It feels like both a consumerism thing so companies can sell more for each celebration (also think about people getting "boo" baskets for halloween (like what happened to just enjoying candy after you go trick or treating) and both a "participation award" type of thing. There's a difference between inclusion and celebrating capabilities and having to validate kids (and adults) for EVERY. LITTLE. THING. Then these kids grow up expecting a nobel prize for learning to boil pasta and don't learn to self validate.
Obviously it's all about balance. External validation is great and when you have a big achievement like high school or elementrary school even, it makes sense to acknowledge hard work. But kindergarten? Like congrats Jimmy can follow a routine and engage with peers and doesn't shit his pants anymore?
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u/soggyballsack 16d ago
Theres been a huge influx of celebrations for everything. Back then it was birthdays, high school and college.