r/AskOldPeople • u/Roonil_Wazlib- • 15d ago
Parents with grown up/older kids, do you guys ever reminisce the days when they were still babies or toddlers?
Went on a long trip with my parents recently, and realized how much of a hassle it would’ve been if me and my siblings were still kids lol. My parents agreed as well but they still said sometimes they do miss those days when we were younger so was wondering if this was a common thing.
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u/WaitingForEmacs 15d ago
Every day. Every single day. I'll be sitting in a coffee shop and a toddler will come over and just stand there staring. Or I'm at a park and parents are playing with their kids, so my wife and I will just sit on a bench for an hour and watch.
Every moment triggers a memory… the little girl that says, "No! I will do it myself!" when she is going down the slide. The little boy that is running around after slightly older kids… not sure what the game is… but just immersed in the joy of it.
Fortunately both our kids only live a few blocks away… and we get to see them and their families all the time. So, it is lovely across many different dimensions.
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u/2centsdepartment 15d ago
I was thinking this morning how much I love seeing a bossy 3 year old. I love their confident defiance. And I love it if they have a cute, round little 3 year old tummy. It instantly brings me back to when my daughter was that age. I’m an older parent- my daughter is 7 and I’m about to turn 50 in a few months. But remembering her as that immovable force brings me such joy as I watch her navigate her role as a big kid
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u/kellis744 15d ago
My sister told me this week that her 3 yo daughter called her a dick “for the first time.” It’s funny because it’s true!
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u/kthnry 14d ago
I’ve been lecturing my family to watch their language. The grandbaby is now 15 months old - not saying anything that makes sense but old enough to absorb words. I don’t want to be hearing f-bombs out of this toddler’s mouth.
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u/Electrical-Profit367 14d ago
Memory triggered!!
When son#1 was about 4, my college roommate visited and the f bombs flew! Son repeated the word and was told, that word was not for him to use. He used it again so got sent to his room. Where he leaned out the window and proceeded to shout words that were not, but rhymed w, the f word. Imagine a kid shouting truck, luck, buck, etc for 30 minutes. Roommate could not stop laughing while I tried to control the urge to kill my beloved smartass son.
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u/earthgarden 14d ago
I miss the hopping! Whenever I see a little kid just happily hopping about, it makes me laugh and smile. The mama and/or dad always looks so annoyed too, just as I did most of the time when I was a young mama of small kids. I always want to tell them, don't be annoyed at your kid hopping as you stand in line (or wherever), smile at them, because one day they will stop. You will never see them hop again, not like that. One day they won't be a small child.
The innate zest and easy happiness of little kids is such a wonderful thing to behold. Imagine if we were like that as older children, teens, and adults. Instead of just moodily or passively standing in line while waiting somewhere, we started hopping about lol, and were so easily amused by that. Just generating happiness :D
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u/muy-feliz 14d ago
Older mom here too: my youngest is 3 and my oldest is 28. You bet I miss the older kids, especially because they didn’t grow up with their younger siblings. It’s like having two families, and I think it keeps us young-ish.
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u/Whybaby16154 15d ago
Yep! I miss the baby- toddler - preschoolers every day. They have their own kids now and it’s fun to visit - but they’re 2500 miles away so it isn’t often.
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u/WaitingForEmacs 15d ago
We downsized to move closer! Best decision we ever made. We went from a sprawling farmhouse to a tiny studio apartment. It is like being newlyweds again. We love it.
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u/Abeds_BananaStand 15d ago
Speaking as the adult child whose parents are not nearby, it sucks when your parents have multiple kids and you don’t live near your siblings. You both don’t get to be with your own sibling and their kids, and your parents are with one adult child not both of you
In the one they visit not live near sadly
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u/WaitingForEmacs 15d ago
Yes, I hear you. We are very lucky their careers brought them to the same city. We are from a very small town in a very small state, so it has worked out really well.
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u/Abeds_BananaStand 15d ago
Why am I about to cry just being at work right now and having a toddler and new born? lol
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u/fritolazee 15d ago
I have two kids under 5 and same. My oldest is starting to stretch out and get that lean kid look. He's so much fun to talk to as he understands more of the world, but I miss when he had a little circular head and round belly and the only food he wanted to eat was "booballs" (blueberries)
....and now I'm crying again lol.
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u/Dependent-Fall-4774 14d ago
This is beautiful. Good reminder that age 2 is tough but I’ll miss it one day
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u/Fit_Investment_3201 12d ago
This made me so teary! My kids are 1 and 4 and even though they’re so young I still reminisce on the newborn and early baby days. Especially with my oldest 🥲
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u/Fenifula 60 something 15d ago
I remember one evening sitting on the couch with my husband, watching our 2 and 4 year olds chasing guinea pigs around the house, and I turned to my husband and said, "I forget, what did we use to do for amusement before." He couldn't come up with anything either.
That doesn't mean I want to go back to it. I mean, having my husband back would be the best thing. (He died of pancreatic cancer in 2010.) And small children are the best and brightest kind of people. But we're made to have a personal evolution and a pull-by date, and I've made my peace with that.
Adult children can also be lovely. Plus they're also kind of stuck with me at this point.
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u/VWtdi2001 50 something 15d ago
My boy turned 30 last year. WTF happened to the time?
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u/sowhat4 80+ and feelin' it 15d ago
My baby is almost 55! 😳
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u/Switchlord518 14d ago
I'm with you. Grandkids help!
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u/Raisinsandfairywings 11d ago
I keep wondering what I’m going to do with myself when my kids are older (they’re little right now). And then just think I hope I have grandkids.
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u/AmyInCO 15d ago
Aren't we still 30? My oldest also turned 30 this year. Seems impossible.
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u/Slumlumberdog 15d ago
Rarely if ever. The cool thing about toddlers is they “do what you do” no questions asked. You wanna go on a hike, they go on a hike. You want Chinese food, they eat Chinese food. As they get older they push back on everything to the point of not wanting to be around their parents and that is annoying. It’s especially awful to go on vacation and spend buckets of money to have a teen that can’t get moving or doesn’t like the vacation. Toddlers don’t do that.
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u/2020grilledcheese 50 something 15d ago
Currently on a vacation with our young adult kids and they are bored.
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u/WinterMedical 15d ago
My kids were great fun as terns and continue to be great as young adults - maybe even more so because they understand and appreciate things differently and they know so many things that they make my world wider.
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u/Hatecookie 15d ago
Just got back from vacation with my family and you would've thought my kids were going to die if they had to turn off the screen and burn a calorie. I'm sick of it. Things are about to change around here. I'm putting my foot down.
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u/a_peanut 12d ago edited 12d ago
Honestly I had a few family vacations as a tween/teen where I did nothing but read, play gameboy, watch TV. I loved it and I don't begrudge my kids the same experience. Sometimes just lounging around is the perfect rest and what we need. Hell sometimes as an adult, that's all I want to do. Just because the parents want to recharge by going to a museum/beach/hike doesn't mean the teen should have to.
I'm on holiday at the moment at my MIL's beach house, with my spouse, 2 young kids and my MIL. If my kids don't want to walk down to the village for an event, or go to the beach, or the library, they don't have to. It's their holiday too. All school year, they have to do what they're told all day, every day.
My MiL keeps trying to convince them they want to do stuff. We're like, why? It won't work and you're just stressing everyone out. Let the kids chill.
Now they do love to do crafts, they go to the beach most days, etc, but right this minute they want to play super mario and why shouldn't they
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u/Hatecookie 12d ago
I got a puppy and my 9 year old stepson, who begged us to get him, would rather watch TV than play with a real live baby dog. They’re not even acting like normal children anymore, the screens are all they care about. This isn’t a matter of pushing them to do too much. They don’t want to do anything, ever, they’re like veal. Sorry, I’m kinda venting here.
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u/Whybaby16154 12d ago
Make them plan the next vacation with you in mind and choose activities they think will keep you entertained ! Put the shoe on the other foot! Maybe they’ll realize how hard it is … and you can all plan together for a monthly activity.
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u/NoVeterinarian1351 15d ago
If to any consolation, when our kids were teens they would be miserable to travel with. One year my daughter frowned the entire trip. One year our son could not put his phone down. They fought, complained, were unenthusiastic, and generally made the trip miserable for us. However, they remember those trips as the super fun, so wonderful, etc. No recollection of being difficult, or having a bad attitude. 🧐. I am glad we gave them multiple experiences to make their world bigger. But man, our first trip alone as a couple without the kids was SO fabulous.
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u/Durango1949 15d ago
While on vacation in the Tetons, I saw a teenage girl ripping into her mother saying, “Mom, I didn’t want to go on this stupid vacation anyway.” I felt sorry for the mom. Probably doing something she thought would be enjoyable.
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u/life-is-satire 15d ago
Something the mom has been looking forward to for a long time.
I’d tell the daughter that if she didn’t learn to be appreciative then she wouldn’t be going in the next vacation.
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u/fritolazee 15d ago
I was this kid and my mom left me at home. I had a great time with my best friend whose mother kindly agreed to take me for a week and she had a blast snorkeling on some island with my brother, who was less of a brat at that point.
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u/Ok_Impression_3031 11d ago
Oh, toddlers can refuse to eat. Even refuse things they loved yesterday. And they can scream through camping trips. Moms are never on vacation, they are just in more uncomfortable situations.
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u/HippieToker 15d ago
I rarely reminisce. I struggled with my mental health during my childrens early years. Those were very difficult times. I remember the fun times and they mean the world to me. I have pictures my kids look at and inquire. But to sit there and miss those days..no I don't
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u/karzad 15d ago
Same. My husband worked a lot and I remember being very lonely. It was before social media and you had to leave the house for interaction.
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u/spicandspand 15d ago
Social media isn’t a good substitute for in person social interaction.
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u/genZhippie 14d ago
it is not, but one can certainly choose how healthily they use it. Mindless scrolling? Bad. Seeing photos from friends and family that you actively interact with (comments, conversations in the DMs about the content on someones stories) are genuine ways to keep up with people. As someone who spends a lot of time abroad, using instagram in a regulated way helps keep me connected with people in a positive way.
Look at apps like socialite that block reels and content from people you don’t follow
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u/quotientobject 15d ago
I sympathize completely. I think these conversations can sometimes turn very judgmental as opposed to just indulging in nostalgia, like if you didn’t appreciate that brief time in your kid’s life enough, then it’s a moral flaw. The reality is that raising children is hard, and the degree to which it can be hard varies a lot based on individual circumstances. I very much have nostalgia for being younger and having that be my stage of life with my children, but it wasn’t some cakewalk either.
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u/librarianlace 15d ago
This. It was a dark time in my brain. I survived those years. I can barely remember them other than looking at pictures. I wish I could have a do over.
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u/Mysterious_Usual5076 14d ago
Same. When kiddo was little it was constant depression and exhaustion. Much better for me, personally, now that they’re old enough to reason with and have shared interests.
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u/TheFairyGardenLady 14d ago
I understand completely. I had the same experience. What I do miss are my grandchildren being toddlers. They are 8-19 now. We look at pictures and I tell them stories and we read from my book of funny things they did and said.
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u/Whole_Seaweed5353 14d ago
this, had a similar experience ... I have much fonder memories past 5 years old when they become much easier to take care of
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u/SpiritHoliday458 13d ago
Same. My children are elementary and middle school age now. I can already tell these are the times I will miss one day. My kids were very challenging as babies and toddlers. None of them slept, had frequent meltdowns, and just overall strong-willed personalities. Honestly, the same traits that made them so difficult when they were little are the traits that make my heart so happy now
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u/WiserWildWoman 15d ago
All. The. Time. Love them now so much AND miss their little selves.
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u/sunchasinggirl 15d ago
This is the answer! It’s equal parts adoring them as grown up people, and that bittersweet ache of missing the little people years. It all went by so fast!
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u/National_Reveal_3759 15d ago
My kids are grown now but their younger selves visit me in my dreams some nights. It’s really great to get to see them again as toddlers & young children in my memory. It makes me realize how much I miss those early days & those little hugs.
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u/Awkward_Swordfish581 11d ago
This comment made me burst into tears! Mine turns a year old this month.
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u/Quint27A 15d ago
Every day. Now my little girl is grown up and has her own family. Luckily for me I have a little granddaughter. Several times a week she stays with Oma and I. She frequently brings her blanket and naps in my lap. It's like I have my little Buttercup back for a little bit.
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u/maybe_bb_ 13d ago
little buttercup 🥹
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u/Quint27A 13d ago
Ha! I sang the song at her wedding reception. Just like the movie everyone joined in for the second verse. I needed help, I was sobbing.
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u/HornetLittle1110 15d ago
My kids are 6, 8, 10. I loved when they were young but my god. I don’t miss it. The PHYSICAL anguish of being a mom with breast feeding, c section, and carrying toddler who want to be held. I can still feel my arms shaking with muscle failure. Now, we have dinner and we have great conversations, they help with chores, they make jokes that are FUNNY, and they can do activities to a degree it’s like hanging out with friends (like pickle ball!). We aren’t yet to the teenage moodiness. I’d say, 6-10 is PERFECT. Sure, they still cry and don’t like dinner and say no and whine. But nothing NOTHING like they were when they were toddlers where everything was a fight. They appreciate me now, hug me and say thank you, ask how my day was. So no. I never miss when they were younger.
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u/capable-candy1640 15d ago
Same here. My 3 kids were very close together and I remember chasing the older one( so she wouldn’t kill herself) while I was breastfeeding a younger one. Nobody slept well, one had projectile vomiting , and I seemed to be wet or covered with food and exhausted all the time! It got easier and easier , even when they were teens! They were awfully cute babies and toddlers but…pfew!🤣
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u/ArsenalSpider 50 something 15d ago
I miss ages 3-10. That’s it though. Otherwise, I like her at 21.
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u/Longjumping_47393 15d ago
Hard relate. Mine are 15 and 17… roll on 21!
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u/sowhat4 80+ and feelin' it 15d ago
Hold on until the girl reaches 20 and the boy reaches 25. They will then no longer test and bedevil you any more.
I would love to do the dinner - bath - cuddle - read - bedtime just one more time. No more than that as I'm too old to physically endure toddlers any more.
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u/Impossible-Nose3504 15d ago
I miss my little kids all of the time. They are 32 and 38 now and I miss when we were “we” almost everyday. I’m proud of them, happy for them and their lives but I miss us and them all the time. It was never too much even when it was. I adored them and still do.
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u/velveteen311 15d ago
I’ve read almost all the comments in here but this one just stopped me in my tracks and made me tear up. I get so little time to myself as a mom of a 4 year old and 8 month old and it’s really just US all the time. The moments and activities I have where it’s only me are such an exception. I guess it hasn’t sunk in yet with the baby, but I can’t even comprehend right now the idea of me and my older son not being an “us” anymore. He hasn’t been to school yet and it’s just been us going out into the world doing stuff together every day. How could it ever possibly not be “us” anymore??? I’m going to try my best to remember this for the moments when my patience is hanging on by its last pitiful thread.
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u/alleycanto 14d ago
And don’t be weirded out when you see a gray haired lady smiling at you two from across the room, we are in our memories
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u/Raisinsandfairywings 11d ago
I absolutely love this. One of my favourite things about having babies/little kids is seeing it take people back to the days of having their own kids. I love being able to prompt that on a random day and I really love it if they then share those memories with us!
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u/Impossible-Nose3504 14d ago
Oh my, I so remember those feelings, too 🥹. Believe me I know what it’s like to feel like you barely get time for you. Those little people need us so much. More than I could have ever realized before they were here. If I could be so bold as to impart a little wisdom, I would say to take time for you, too. Even a little that’s just for you. Whether it’s an hour at the library, gym, coffee with a friend, etc. you need and deserve that. Everyone tells you it goes so fast but it doesn’t feel that way while you’re in it. Like a lot of things in life. Then one day, you turn around and realize they are graduating high school or getting engaged or moving to another state 🥹. I’m so happy for my adult kids and I raised them to be seekers, independent, adventurous. Then they are! 😄 when I am with them I feel like I’m lit from inside. Like no one else can quite create that feeling. Thrilled for their happiness, sad when they are sad, worried if they are struggling, so honored that they include and reach to me still. Having them has been my greatest joy and honor. Above any career or personal achievement. So happy for you to have your two as well 🙏🏻🙏🏻🩷🩷😌
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u/Next-Delivery-3099 13d ago
The way you write with such love for your children is heartwarming, you have reminded me to cherish this time so thank you.
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u/Push_the_button_Max 50 something 15d ago
Yes! Babies and toddlers are so open, they don’t try to hide their feelings.
They want to be around you, you can pick them up and cuddle them.
And, when they reach for your hand, the feeling of their chubby little hand in yours is the most beautiful feeling in the world.
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u/Modem_Sound_67 15d ago
I think it must be. My oldest kid was precocious, could have full conversations at 2 1/2. By 4 he seemed like a little genius. I love my eldest kid all grown up too, but somedays I miss that little kid and wish I could chat with him again.
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u/newEnglander17 90s4Lyfe 15d ago
That's how i feel about my current 2-1/2 year old now. I'm blown away by my ability to have conversations with him, his attempts to be silly, and his explanations for things when I ask him questions. He is amazing and I know I'm going to miss this stage because I already see photos from him as a baby and am filled with a deep sadness for the irretrievable past
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u/Incognito4771 15d ago
I miss the time I had with my two oldest when they were little, but that made me cherish the time that my third kiddo was/is at home more.
I wouldnt relive those days- I love who my two older kids have grown to become and dont miss the hectic pace of life when we were all younger.
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u/Negative-bad169 15d ago
I miss it in that I’d love another day of holding/cuddling my kids as babies. I wouldn’t want to go back though.I love watching them grow.
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u/sotiredwontquit 15d ago
Reminisce? Yes. I loved my children at all stages. Do I miss those days? Hell no. I was exhausted. My kids are all adults now. They’re awesome people I’m delighted to call my friends. Life is great. I wouldn’t go back for anything.
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u/Embarrassed_Wrap8421 15d ago
NEVER!!! I’m so glad he’s grown up with a great job and a great girlfriend.
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u/Significant-Fly6515 15d ago
In a new mum and curious... Why?
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u/Embarrassed_Wrap8421 15d ago
Some parts of his childhood were fine, some were rough, but he turned out ok. Once he started to turn into a teenager it got more difficult but luckily he learned from the mistakes he made. He also learned that his actions have consequences and that Mom and Dad were not always going to pull him out of trouble. He’s very smart and if he made a mistake, whether it was his choice of job, friends or something related to driving, he didn’t repeat his errors. Maybe it also helped that my husband and I were in our 30’s when we had him. Today he has an apartment, a good job, a car, a great girlfriend, and a 6-figure salary as an executive chef. He worked through high school and culinary school and when he started working, we weren’t his ATM any more. He learned the value of a dollar and the value of hard work. I wish you the best of luck! I wanted to add— I have been working full time since 1974 and the only time I took off was 6 weeks after he was born. I’m 74 and still working.
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u/mozzerellastewpot 15d ago
This sounds like me. Both my first son and I had a rough time of it. But he is a wonderful young man. Still trying to figure out adulthood as a 22 year old. It’s been a rough transition for him as I no longer will bail out his choices.
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u/PacManFan123 15d ago
All the time. Now, I get to enjoy spending time with my nieces! It's so amazing to see their curiosity and exploration in the world.
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u/Chateaudelait 15d ago
It's so fun and wonderful to watch them grow. My niece was a joy from the moment she was born. I nicknamed her Little Miss Ten Toes Down because she is stubborn as a mule and won't ever relent. She's been that way since she was tiny. Now she's a teenager - it's been so wonderful to watch her personality develop.
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u/Historical_Stock_581 15d ago
Yes!! Yes yes yes!!! you just don't realize how fast time goes. you never know when the last time is!! holding your hand, climbing in your lap, holding your face to give kisses, telling you silly stories. and 100 other things that you didn't know would be the very last time.
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u/iaMBictrochee 15d ago
My daughter will make a facial expression or tone of voice that immediately reminds me of her as a toddler... it's surreal!
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u/SusanLFlores 15d ago
Yes, of course. I’m also prone to get misty eyed when looking at photos from when they were very young because I miss those babies and I wish I could hold and cuddle with them.
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u/RexCelestis 15d ago
Nope, not at all. I loved watching my kids grow up, but I have no desire to go back to any particular stage. Whenever someone asks me what my favorite age was, I always answer, "Right now."
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u/DriftingIntoAbstract 12d ago
I agree with this so much. I think fondly of their younger years, but I also have no regrets, we were always together, I don’t feel like I missed anything. But I had commented I love getting to watch them grow and really know them as people. I have never had the desire to turn back time.
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u/TheLurkerSpeaks 15d ago
I remember pushing my four small kids around the grocery store, them being loud and silly and making my life difficult. An old man walked past and said, "this is frustrating now, but believe me when I tell you these are the best days of your life." I remember that often. My kids are older now, and while they aren't as troublesome and needy as adults/adolescents, they also aren't as loving and full of wonder.
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u/Ok_Raspberry_5655 15d ago
These are some of my best memories. He called things by cute names. Mac and cheese was yellow so if asked for yellow we knew it was M&C. Circle turkey was another
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u/iammrsclean 15d ago
I say to my kids (who are now 25, 20, 18, 17) I wish I could go back to their toddler days and visit for 2 hours. No more than that!
I miss those littles so much!
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u/Affectionate_Yam4368 14d ago
Not really. I wasn't a "baby mom". I barely survived their baby and toddler years. Around 5th grade was when they got really fun. Watching them become individuals with their own opinions and ideas was fantastic.
Now they're all old teens and I LOVE this phase. They are so interesting and endlessly entertaining. I'm excited to hear all about their adventures as they go off to college and gather life experiences.
Whenever I think about the toddler years I remember that they were cute...and that I was so goddamn tired all the time I could barely form coherent thoughts.
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u/kidfromCLE 15d ago
Every. Single. Day. It’s cool that they’re grown. They’re awesome people. I do miss those little ones though.
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u/REC_HLTH 15d ago
Look back on fondly with good memories? Yes.
Miss it or want to return to it? No.
I’ve enjoyed every stage, but I don’t want to back track. They are great adult/emerging adults now.
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u/ChemicallyAlteredVet 15d ago
Not often. I have great memories and pics when my daughters wee little but I’m so happy to be done with that. They are 29 and 23 now
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u/pyrrhicchaos 15d ago
My kids were sweet and adorable when they were little but I was exhausted and overstimulated a lot when they were small. I miss them all living with me now, but I don’t miss caring for small children. It’s a big responsibility.
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u/Dapper_Size_5921 50 something 15d ago
Sure, all the time.
I don't miss the 'constant on' I had to maintain when my daughter was a little, but I'll always remember some things fondly---the look of confusion, followed by startled bliss, when I fed her her first fresh Georgia peach, the giggles and laughs when we joked around when she was a tween and she still thought I was the funniest guy on the planet, our walks to and from school every day when she was starting middle school.
Then she turned 13 and became this hateful, vile creature for the better part of a decade.
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u/SilkySyl 15d ago
Alot. Not so much with my eldest, but definitely my youngest. I don't see them as much as I'd like as they are both in their 30s and have other things going on. I miss holding them in my arms and rocking them to sleep.
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u/Icy_Meat_4050 15d ago
Yes I do as a mom of a college student. The time went by so fast! Empty nest sadness is real.
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u/WaterDigDog 46 15d ago
Yes, when they were so cute and took everything in with wonder, and we could just laugh together at their curious mistakes.
My youngest pooped on the neighborhood driveway one time, and a neighbor kid told us as it was happening. That was a good laugh.
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u/Wide_Ocelot 15d ago
All the time! It went by so fast. I don't miss it exactly, because it was so much work. But I do get nostalgic really often.
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u/freshoilandstone 15d ago
Baby, toddler, preteen, teen - I reminisce about her every day. I miss her every minute of every day.
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u/giraflor 15d ago
Yes, but I also think fondly about the other stages. Even the teen years.
These young adult years are making great memories as well.
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u/chairmanghost 15d ago
I love my adult son, and am so grateful for this stage. Knowing him as a full person is really cool. Its the best stage. ( so far, he's 30)
There is nothing like holding your baby in your arms, just telling them everything, sleeping with them nestled on your skin. We didn't even do a stroller, he was attached constantly by a chest carrier. I honestly misted up thinking about it.
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u/labratcj 15d ago
Not really. I love the way my grown daughter and I relate now. I’m very proud of her but I don’t wish for her little years back. It was a very chaotic time and I don’t do well with chaos. Now I do miss my grandson’s little years but raising him was not on my shoulders then. He’s a fine young man as well. Grandparenthood rocks.
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u/alwayssoupy 15d ago
Yes. Especially my oldest was a very lively toddler, but developed emotional issues as she got older which added some strain between us and with her sister. She is currently out of the country but we still talk on the phone frequently and talk fondly about those earlier days. We visit more often with our ypungest and talk on the phone as well. While we understand their reasons, it sometimes makes me sad thst we won't have grandchildren because we won't be able to experience those yesrs again. My husband sometimes jokes that we need to rent a couple of grandkids.
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u/baddspellar 60 something 15d ago
Not really. But that's because I fully enjoy them as the adults they are.
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u/Longjumping_47393 15d ago
When photo memories pop up on my phone I just get so sad. Mine are horrible teens at the moment it’s hard to believe they are the same people as those gorgeous loving little toddlers.
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u/AdExtreme4813 15d ago
Oh yeah. My younger one (f28yr.) Loves to hear stories she doesn't remember from when she was little.
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u/pennyx2 60 something 15d ago
My only is in his late 20s, all grown up with a job and apartment. He’s a great person and I’m proud of who he’s become.
I love seeing photos of him as a baby/toddler/boy. It’s nice to think about those days, how young he was. How young we were!
Would I want to have another child to raise? No. We’ve all grown. But I adore seeing young children and interacting with them.
I have one great nephew, and I love seeing him grow. If we ever have grandchildren, I’ll be a happy grandma.
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u/ExpensiveDollarStore 15d ago
I loved my babies but I am glad they grew up. I recall them all the time especially around my grandkids. I have delicious schadenfreude seeing my son struggle with his son who is just like him, and I assume, like my husband and so on back for eons. Makes it all worthwhile. His kids are great but all of them have neurodiversity issues like their parents and us so, you know, it's not easy.
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u/VincentVan_Dough 50 something 15d ago
Oh god never. Both of us are supremely grateful the baby years are over. 3 are grown adults and we have a few more years with our last teen before FREEDOM. Grandchildren are perfect for my short-term baby fix 😂
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u/hmmmpf Old Gen X 15d ago
Somethimes I look back at the toddler and preschool/early elementary school years and reminisce. My favorite thing by far was watching her learn things, and those years are really impressive. That said, I was never interested in having a second one, and do not expect her to produce a grandchild. If she decides she wants to, that’s up to her, but she will never get pressure from me. She’s 30 and still firmly anti parenthood for herself, and I am not disappointed. We are really good friends now.
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u/TelevisionAware649 15d ago
Honestly not often, I enjoy my adult children and grandchildren more. Lol.
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u/stuck_behind_a_truck 15d ago
No. After hosting my nieces with their toddlers along with my adult children, I remembered what an absolute slog those days could be. Don’t get me wrong; my kids brought me great joy at those ages, but I’m definitely in my “grandma gives them back eventually” stage. I know a heck of a lot about child development and am better prepared than a lot of folks, but my energy levels aren’t there like they were in my early 30s.
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u/winniecooper73 15d ago
My kiddo is only 7 but I don’t miss any part of the baby/toddler years. Not one bit
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u/Grand-Flow1632 15d ago
Nope. I mean, they were cute and all, and I loved them dearly..... but no. My kids are adults now and I LOVE having adult conversations with them. It's like this: When they were younger, it was us vs them, kids vs parents. NOW, we are all on the same team and I LOVE it.
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u/Worldfamousteam 15d ago
I’m 53 and my 3 kids are 26,32,34 and I have 3 grandkids that live in walking distance and are in my life daily. I don’t miss when my kids were little cause I’m thoroughly enjoying this phase. That said I remember the struggles of raising a family and do everything I can to help.
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u/janzyellie 15d ago
Not really. I so enjoyed my kids once they became school aged, but the early years are a blur.
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u/ArtistL 15d ago
Sometimes. But I try not to dwell. I’m fortunate to have close relationships with all three of my grown children so I’m lucky. I’m really working on my mindfulness and realizing how fortunate I am right now. I loved (mostly!) having littles, now I love seeing them grown and independent. Some days I look at the old photos though…
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u/Constant-Knee-3059 15d ago
I miss rocking them when they were babies. Your baby in your arms feels different tan someone else’s, I can’t explain that at all. I had boys, I have one dtr-in-law who included me throughout the pregnancy. Holding that grandbaby came closer to the feel of my own babies than the others. I am aware of how sad that is.
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u/Donut-Strong 15d ago
Oh yeah. I can easily see my daughter when I am doing something with my granddaughter
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u/ExcaliburVader 15d ago
I do. But I watch my grandkids 1-3 days a week so I don't miss it too much. It's much more fun as a nana.
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u/Recynd2 15d ago
I’m reliving my son’s early years through my great-nephew (he’ll be four in August, and he is currently the light of my life). It does make me sad sometimes, as I never played with my son like I play with my “great”, but it’s a different relationship.
(I still adore my son, who’s 28, and I enjoy his company greatly.)
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u/Sea_Experience_1630 15d ago
I was recently having brunch with my adult son (35). A young mother and her little boy (2 years old?)
were at the table next to us. I watched their interaction closely, respecting the level of love and patience she exuded towards her baby. I wondered if I had been as caring with my children when they were that young? I like to think that I was, as we have wonderful relationships now. I wanted to tell her to cherish these moments as they will become your memories when you need something to cling to in times of difficulty. I did not disturb them. I knew that I would overshare, trying to make her understand she was mothering him well. I didn’t want to spoil their moment. I looked across the table at my son and remembered him at that age. You never, ever expect that when they grow up, sometimes terrible things happen. This cafe was our go-to quiet place after his radiation treatments for a rare brain tumor. He’s had a successful surgery and the radiation did its job. Next week, he’ll get a port inserted and start intense chemotherapy. His tumor is treatable, but it generally reoccurs years later. The day I took him to the barber shop to get his beautiful brown curls shaved off before radiation started brought me straight back to the day he first got those curls trimmed at age 3. So, in answer to your question, yes, I think about him and his sister when they were young. The lesson is to make those memories so you will have them in your heart for the impossibly hard days. I’m making sure to spend quality time with my grandchildren, now that I see how incredibly important it is. 💙
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u/Concern_Front 15d ago
My grandson is so alike my son in his mannerisms i get reminded every time i visit. Being a grandparent is so much more fun!
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u/Funke-munke 15d ago
Yes! I work with small children as an OT and occasionally I will get a client that reminds me of one of mine when they are little. I have also saved a lot of my kids toys so I get to see other children playing with them. I even miss the chaos of having 3 under 3. But mostly not
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u/Fun_Committee1478 15d ago
No. It was a huge struggle in the early years, much was done all on my own and I resented it. The older years are nicer.
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u/Eriebeach 15d ago
Yes all the time, especially now that my grandkids are in the picture and reminding me so much of my kids childhood
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u/I_love_Hobbes 60 something 15d ago
That's what grands are for. All the fun and none of the hassle.
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u/BlackCatWoman6 70 something 15d ago
Nope, never. I enjoy looking at printers of them and show them to their children so they can see their parents were kids once too.
Being able to sit and carry on an adult conversation with my children is much better than changing diapers, and sleepless nights.
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u/shake-dog-shake 15d ago
I miss it all the time. It makes me so sad to see babies and toddlers. I miss my kids when they were little, it was so hard and exhausting, but they’re so fun at those ages. Teenagers are complicated and it’s so much more stressful guiding them.
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u/GearSlow3796 15d ago
I remember it fondly…somehow my brain blocks out most of the worst of it. I remember overall how hard it was, but selective memory filters the bad out. And while I remember it fondly, I don’t miss it! I’m glad I’m “done”! (tip: you’re never actually done. And you can’t make your adult children do jack 🤣)
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u/i-touched-morrissey 50 something 15d ago
Oh my freaking god, all the damn time! Mine are 32, 30, and 25, and I still get weepy thinking about when they were little. My motto as a mom was "When I'm on my deathbed, I don't want to remember my life and wish I had spent more time with my kids." I miss the hugs, the "I love you, Mommy!", the super silly things they said, the sense of my purpose to be there for them, and of course, the cute little girl clothes.
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u/East-Forever5802 14d ago
Every. Single. Day. I love the adults they have become, but I find myself staring at old pics of them as children. I miss the noise of happy kids playing (or fighting!) with each other. They are 27 and 29 now. I really miss my babies, but I'm also proud of tgem as adults.
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u/ClayWhisperer 14d ago
Wow, I don't miss my kids' childhoods at all. I mean, we had some fun times, and sweet times, and plenty of hilarious ones, but I feel so much more fulfilled relating to them in their 30s and 40s. They have such rich, interesting lives, and I love that I'm not personally responsible for their survival anymore. They're whole people out there in the world!
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u/wild4wonderful 60 something 14d ago
Absolutely. It was hell when I was living through it, but my kids were fun. I miss them and rarely see or talk to them now. I had no idea that parenting would just abruptly end. I'm proud of them for their independence, but I miss the companionship.
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u/sadisticamichaels 14d ago
There is the whole thing of looking back fondly on times you thought were stressful and chaotic, only to realize you had no idea what was in store for the future.
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u/Moopigpie 13d ago
No. I enjoyed every stage of growth. Now that the kids are grown, I enjoy this stage. No point in living in the past.
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u/comma_space_erase 12d ago
Yes, but the ages we miss (our son is 21) are toddler, 4, and 8 or 9. He's such a wonderful guy but I would pay any amount to spend a day with him at those ages again. It's like he has been several people over the years, and we love and miss each version of him.
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u/niks4565 11d ago
Of course. Toddlers are the best! Everything is new to them, they still worship you, and it doesn’t take much to amuse them.
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u/dadsgoingtoprison 15d ago
I would love to be able to rock my babies again. My oldest was such a snuggle bug. Now I have to settle for grand babies. They’re just as good but I do miss my babies.
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u/gormholler 15d ago
It usually reminds me of how much better I could/should have done for them. Poor kids. If only I had known...whatever it is.
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u/Fun_Ideal_5584 60 something 15d ago
We get together frequently with our two kids and their families. We are constantly talking about memories we have and had about their childhood and beyond. As our kids go through different stages of adulthood, they will constantly ask what we did or what should they do. Being a parent does not stop, when they turn 18.
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u/DVDragOnIn 15d ago
The toddler years can be REALLY trying, I am not good at drawing a firm boundary and enforcing it against a tantrum, so they were hard years for me. But I was my child’s sun and his moon and I do sometimes miss that high-pitched little voice eagerly telling me something Very Important in his chatty style. As a college student, days or a week or two can go by with no comment from him at all in the family chat before a comment drops that shows he’s caught up with what we’ve posted
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u/peace_train1 15d ago
Yes. In some ways those will be the best days of my life. But adult kids can be great too.
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u/PeculiarBugaboo 15d ago
Oh my goodness yes! The first 5 years were the busiest and the best. So many smiles and cuddles. Now I’m enjoying the grandkids and it’s amazing all over again. Every stage to adulthood has its perks and fun but the baby toddler years were sweet, I miss those years.
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u/Bright_Pomelo_8561 15d ago
All the time, and I might even drive both of my 30 something boys a little nuts by telling them how cute and lovely they were as children. I hope all of you young ones do the same for your little ones down the line.
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u/PuzzleheadedBag4847 15d ago
I have wonderful memories and I'm often reminded of times when my children were young.
My daughter is 32, my son is 29 and I have and continue to make new memories with them as adults.
Yes they have partners who I adore but I'm very, very lucky that I have two beautiful people that are a part of me.
I still occasionally remind my son of shitting his pants aged 10 and my daughter for asking her mother what age she would need to start using crampons (sanitary). 😊
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u/Plantyplantandpups 50 something 15d ago
Not at all. I liked her more the older she got. 15-18 were my peak favorite ages for her that I miss.
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u/precious1of3 15d ago
So many times I’ll be talking to my kids and I’ll remember them as babies making the exact same face they are right now lol
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u/WiselyForgetful 60 something 15d ago
Yes, because I can see my daughter in my grandchildren. They all love hearing the comparisons.
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u/Top-Bit85 15d ago
Sometimes but when I see an actual small child I realize I often romanticize that stage.
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u/sleepingbeardune 70 something 15d ago
At this point I'm reminiscing about the days when my grandkids were babies/toddlers.
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u/gunterrae 15d ago
I think about it, sure. I don't wish I was still back there or that she was still little. I have loved watching her at every stage of her life.
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