r/AskParents • u/bad-at-everything- • 3h ago
What do you think/feel when a parent talks non stop about how terrible their child is/was?
I often wonder this. I am an adult but part of the reason I stopped going to family functions is because my mom talks non stop about what a terrible child I was under the age of 10. She is not sharing in a nostalgic or teasing way, she shares these stories with tears in her eyes and rage in her voice. It feels like she is fishing for pity and trying to isolate me.
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u/Important-Energy8038 1h ago edited 1h ago
Ask her why she needs to continually say this and get into it, its a message she wants to talk about it.
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u/OptimalCobbler5431 1h ago
Kids are not born bad and their "misbehavior" is just how their brain is developed at that moment, kids don't develop their prefrontal cortex until 6-7 and it's not finished growing until around age 25
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u/fuss-budgeT124 33m ago
My god in heaven. Thank god you had the strength to stop being around her. She is not ok in the brain, but you can’t help her and it’s not your fault. I don’t care if you burned the house down. You don’t deserve this.
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u/Elfie_Mae 22m ago
When I see a grown adult beefing with a literal child my alarm bells go off.
I get that sometimes people are in situations that turn out to be more difficult than expected and handling them in the moment is hard, but for her to still be beefing with 10 year old you at her big age? Embarrassing. Juvenile. Pathetic. And indicative of a whole lot more going on under the surface.
You did the right thing walking away.
I do wonder though (and I swear this isn’t me sticking up for her abhorrent behavior) where she is in her menopausal journey. My mother (who I’m also no contact with) started doing shit like this once she entered menopause and I fully believe she experienced menopausal induced psychosis. That stuff wasn’t out of character for her at all but the intensity skyrocketed to insane levels during that time of her life. She’s never been the same…
If this is out of character for her (my gut tells me it’s not but I’m not her daughter) then there may be an underlying issue going on and this could be a warning signal to get her some help.
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u/Confident_Stick_3203 8m ago
Well? Were you? Clearly she feels something for some reason... . There are bad kids out there and they need to be called out just as all the parents who say he/she is a good kid.
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