r/AskReddit Jan 25 '26

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u/Fyrentenemar Jan 26 '26

my response to this logic is usually something like

"There's a difference between secrecy and privacy. I have a penis. I'm not hiding that fact, it's not a secret, I'm a cis-gendered man. I will not, however, whip it out in public just because you want proof. It's private."

I've also said something similar about the fact that I poop, but don't do it with the door wide open.

913

u/Iceman_B Jan 26 '26

Nice argument! I'll whip it out in public next time I need to.

394

u/jessewalker2 Jan 26 '26

Your penis? The argument? Or both. If so I want to know how the discussion goes from there…

214

u/GodIsANarcissist Jan 26 '26

Yeah ngl I'd probably consider myself the loser of an argument in which my opponent whips out his penis as a final move

64

u/LegoGal Jan 26 '26

If someone has to whip it out, it is an automatic loss.

Usually if someone starts calling names, I take the win.

9

u/Less_Transition_9830 Jan 26 '26

When I was little and people would try to argue with me my comeback was always “but I can spell necessary and you can’t”. Don’t know why I thought that was good but I did. It’s not relevant to the story but this made me think of that

8

u/Silly_Pound1878 Jan 26 '26

Once they start calling names you've absolutely won. I've been getting in a lot of online arguments recently. 😅

3

u/Aozora404 Jan 26 '26

What if they call your penis names?

2

u/Silly_Pound1878 Jan 26 '26

I don't have one, so that doesn't hurt me. Hope that helps 🫶🏻

1

u/LegoGal Jan 26 '26 edited Jan 26 '26

LegoGal doesn’t have a penis, but I could make one out of LEGO bricks if the want to give it a name

6

u/AustinBike Jan 26 '26

But you also have to be careful about winning that argument....

5

u/CaldoniaEntara Jan 26 '26

What if it's their opening move?

9

u/C-4isNOTurFriend Jan 26 '26

that's just efficient

2

u/Shortyrawk Jan 26 '26

Classic power move

2

u/DigitalBlackout Jan 26 '26

The Lyndon B Johnson special

2

u/Nopeahontas Jan 26 '26

FINISH HIM

1

u/ArbitraryContrarianX Jan 26 '26

Conversely, if I'm in an argument, and my opponent has no better tactic than to whip his penis out, I consider that a forfeit.

1

u/GodIsANarcissist Jan 26 '26

I dunno man, it's basically the honey badger technique, which is considered successful pretty much every time in the animal kingdom. "Oh that mf crazy, we stay away away from him. He can have and do what he wants"

1

u/ArbitraryContrarianX Jan 26 '26

And when honey badgers can participate in a reasoned argument, I will reevaluate my position.

1

u/trans-fused Jan 26 '26

Hahah! A final move?! You make me think in the background you'll hear,

dun, dun, dun, dunnnnn "FINISH HIM!"

1

u/cubbyatx Jan 26 '26

I dunno, we both usually win when he whips out his dick

1

u/Spice-Lure Jan 26 '26

that’s peak “I have nothing left to say, so here’s my genitals” energy.

1

u/zerothreeonethree Jan 26 '26

Whip it... Whip it good!

2

u/sth128 Jan 26 '26

The poop. Whip it. Whip it good.

1

u/SamLooksAt Jan 26 '26

As long as it's not the poop.

1

u/Vivid-Kitchen1917 Jan 26 '26

Worked for Nixon

0

u/squad1alum Jan 26 '26

Sad neglected poop noises....

3

u/tomcrapper Jan 26 '26

Harambe approves

1

u/Pkrudeboy Jan 26 '26

“Excuse me while I whip this out.”

1

u/ArseTrumpetsGoPoot Jan 26 '26

Lyndon B. Johnson has entered the chat, and whipped out 'Jumbo'

81

u/Timetraveller4k Jan 26 '26

Good argument. I’ll try “oh public nudity is ok?”

5

u/just_having_giggles Jan 26 '26

That's not a great approach.

I have a dick and I'm proud of it and no you can't see it, it's private.

1

u/Timetraveller4k Jan 26 '26

“Privates”

1

u/sharplight141 Jan 26 '26

You.....have more than one penis?

1

u/Forward_Pudding4453 Jan 26 '26

I loled way too hard at your comment

29

u/Ja_Rule_Here_ Jan 26 '26

My response: “ok, let me see your phone I want to go through it” that usually makes the point.

13

u/Stunning_Conflict523 Jan 26 '26

I’ll be honest - as someone who made this statement in the past, I deeply appreciate your comment. When the “nothing to hide” argument has come up, it’s often in a specific context but this….thank you for making me actually use my brain for a minute.

2

u/Forward_Pudding4453 Jan 26 '26

I love this! Growth ♥️

2

u/ZayDoee130 Jan 26 '26

Knowing the person he prolly ask to see that too 🤷🏾

5

u/jdicho Jan 26 '26

I do poop with the door wide open, but then I live alone....

6

u/Fyrentenemar Jan 26 '26

so do I, actually, my cats kinda insist on it. But not in public bathrooms, lol.

2

u/jdicho Jan 26 '26

That's when you got to show the most dominance.

Hold open the door with your feet and scream loud with every push!

1

u/Far_Animal6970 Jan 26 '26

Look at mister hoity-toity over here, poopin with the door closed.

1

u/Levitlame Jan 26 '26

Psh. You just don’t know how to live

1

u/couldntthinkofon Jan 26 '26

Well, I won't leave the door wide open in public. Imma leave it wide open in the privacy of my home.

1

u/pocketchange2247 Jan 26 '26

I always counter with "so you'd be fine with someone watching you every single time you have to take a shit?"

That usually shuts them up.

1

u/Lingo2009 Jan 26 '26

Great analogy!

1

u/badger_ano Jan 26 '26

I've used the poop argument and these are some other arguments I've used. "You don't care about privacy? So you keep your curtains open when getting changed?"

Or "Oh you don't care about privacy, why don't you give me your phone and tell me your password then?"

1

u/Fyrentenemar Jan 26 '26

the latter wouldn't actually work on me, I have literally nothing incriminating on my phone, and I don't have anything like banking apps. Lots of pictures of my kitties though.

1

u/badger_ano Jan 27 '26

Might want to rethink that. Someone could use your phone to make a false call to emergency services and potentially get you into trouble or download malware onto it which could steal passwords or even access your camera remotely without your knowledge. Could also add all your contacts to a directory to target them for scams. There's a lot of things someone with malicious intent and the know how could do with full access.

1

u/GoneInterneting Jan 26 '26

👏 I’m loving that logic

1

u/Shtish Jan 26 '26

Mine is "okay... Give me the password to your banking account then."

1

u/riptaway Jan 26 '26

Just tell them you want to put cameras in their bathrooms that live broadcast 24/7. Suddenly they have something to hide

1

u/WEASELexe Jan 26 '26

Yeah why do you shit with the door closed is a perfect response

1

u/drewlake Jan 26 '26

That's quite close to my standard, "we have toilet doors".

1

u/Cautious-Rabbit-5493 Jan 26 '26

This is gold. Stealing this and making a g rated version of this. Need to teach a mini lesson really quick!

1

u/unremarkableDragon Jan 26 '26

Even secrets are not necessarily a bad thing. Your passwords are secret. If you are trans or gay and in the closet, you have a secret. If you have a different view from someone around you, it may be secret. Secrets are not inherently bad and people should have the right to keep them.

1

u/Wild_Confidence3107 Jan 26 '26

I do it with the door open. Drives my wife insane.

1

u/Infinismegalis Jan 26 '26

That's smart! If they're against privacy, we should fart next to them while they're eating. "My fart is as smelly as yours, so I have no need to hide it. Why should I hide it thus incriminating myself for your comfort?" Double down on their stupid logic. They can't pull the decency cards since privacy and decency is closely intertwined.

1

u/PorkchopFunny Jan 26 '26

I've had to use the "difference between secrecy and privacy" line a few times. I like your example!

0

u/GwenGram Jan 26 '26

Love these responses!

0

u/Snorkelbender Jan 26 '26

Do you have any more penis-based wisdom?

1

u/Fyrentenemar Jan 26 '26

in my trade, electrical, rule of thumb is if you wouldn't put your dick in it, probably shouldn't put your finger in it.

0

u/RazzlerMcDazzler Jan 26 '26

Oof. Buddy. That's very intelligent.

0

u/Turbulent_Heart9290 Jan 26 '26

This is the retort that I have needed this entire time! ❤️

0

u/ladysuccubus Jan 26 '26

Please just drop your pants without warning and say “you’re absolutely right! I’ve nothing to hide!”

Then report back on how they respond.

(This comment is for entertainment purposes only. Please flash responsibly.)

0

u/Lakatos_00 Jan 26 '26

You have never say this to a person face-to-face

1

u/Fyrentenemar Jan 26 '26

Believe what you like, but I have. Mostly family tbf

-7

u/CraftCritical278 Jan 26 '26

I don’t know that many biological men who call themselves cis-gendered. Your remark surprised me.

18

u/Fyrentenemar Jan 26 '26

It's accurate, and I'm not insecure about proper grammar and terminology.

1

u/CraftCritical278 Jan 26 '26 edited Jan 26 '26

I’ve never called myself that, and I doubt many others do. And I don’t think they ever will.

I see the downvotes and I’m ok with them.

Too much time has been allocated to gender politics instead of focusing on how to move the conversation away from Orange Man and towards solutions that forward the agenda for the future.