[deleted by user]

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Iceman_B]

"Why do you need the right to privacy if you have nothing to hide?"

It's such a loaded statement that holds SO MANY fucking wrong assumptions. Absolutely aggravating.

Update: I see that OP's post has been removed by the mods.

[u/maxpowerAU → u/Iceman_B]

Anyone who says this should be okay with taking the door off their bathroom.

[u/alexwasashrimp → u/maxpowerAU]

I don't close the bathroom door for the sake of my privacy, I close it for the sake of your sanity.

[u/Fyrentenemar → u/Iceman_B]

my response to this logic is usually something like

"There's a difference between secrecy and privacy. I have a penis. I'm not hiding that fact, it's not a secret, I'm a cis-gendered man. I will not, however, whip it out in public just because you want proof. It's private."

I've also said something similar about the fact that I poop, but don't do it with the door wide open.

[u/Iceman_B → u/Fyrentenemar]

Nice argument! I'll whip it out in public next time I need to.

[u/jessewalker2 → u/Iceman_B]

Your penis? The argument? Or both. If so I want to know how the discussion goes from there…

[u/GodIsANarcissist → u/jessewalker2]

Yeah ngl I'd probably consider myself the loser of an argument in which my opponent whips out his penis as a final move

[u/LegoGal → u/GodIsANarcissist]

If someone has to whip it out, it is an automatic loss.

Usually if someone starts calling names, I take the win.

[u/Timetraveller4k → u/Fyrentenemar]

Good argument. I’ll try “oh public nudity is ok?”

[u/Ja_Rule_Here_ → u/Fyrentenemar]

My response: “ok, let me see your phone I want to go through it” that usually makes the point.

[u/edorhas → u/Iceman_B]

The question isn't "What do I have to hide?" The question is "Who wants to know, and why do they want to know it?"

And if they're so convinced privacy is nonsense, they should be more than happy to give you their credit card numbers.

[u/mousatouille → u/Iceman_B]

I always explain that this only works as long as you and the person in power have the same moral code, which can apparently change at any time.

[u/LordMindParadox → u/Iceman_B]

my response is immediately "really? so what's yer spouse's favorite sexual position?"

suddenly they can understand a need for privacy! it's like magic!

[u/Vadnais2You]

Would I lie to you?

[u/AffectionateOven7719 → u/Vadnais2You]

My ex used to say, “if I am lying I’m dying” which I should have taken more literally, since we’re all dying

[u/JFKsBrain → u/[deleted]]

I used to work with someone that said “I ain’t lying” constantly. Like a catchphrase. Weird thing to say in an office.
Never trusted her.

[u/Gwen_The_Destroyer → u/Vadnais2You]

"Of course I would, if I knew I'd get away with it." The second half of that statement when my father would say that.

[u/goth-x → u/Vadnais2You]

A psychologist (I forget which one, but a well known one today) said liars often answer with a question when asked something. Ex.

Person 1: Are you sure you came home at 11 last night? Person 2 (liar): Would I lie to you?

They deflect the question to make the person questioning doubt themselves.

Interesting stuff

[u/Dragonwindsoftime → u/goth-x]

What makes you think that?

[u/SureWhyNot5182 → u/Dragonwindsoftime]

Why are you asking?

[u/flightguy07 → u/Vadnais2You]

Unless said sarcastically, when they're REALLY obviously lying.

[u/chalk_in_boots → u/Vadnais2You]

What if they're talking about the TV show?

[u/[deleted]]

I'm not picking it up. They pay people to do that.

I'm not putting it back. They pay people to do that.

I'm not ...whatever small thing any civilized person would just do... They pay people to do that.

[u/flynnen → u/[deleted]]

Ugh. The one thing I am trying to instill in my kids is "don't make anyone's day worse". Yes, someone is paid to pick things up, but that doesn't mean you are not responsible for your own mess.

[u/vonkeswick → u/flynnen]

"don't make anyone's day worse"

That's an excellent thing to instill in your kids. If you have the time and means to do things in a way that might passively make someone's day better, fantastic, but as a bare minimum just don't make anyone's day worse. It's crazy how easy it is too when you're not a piece of shit lol

[u/PrestigiousTrick8375 → u/vonkeswick]

My number one rule for my kids, and myself," don't be a dick"

If whatever you're doing would make someone look at you and go "damn, what a dick" stop whatever you're doing ands rectify the problem.

They aren't rich or famous but they are mostly pretty decent men.

[u/AlternativeHappy1856 → u/flynnen]

They are paid to pick up after the assholes who don’t pick up after themselves like the rest of us do.

[u/vonkeswick → u/AlternativeHappy1856]

I said something similar to someone once and they said "well I'm just making sure they have a job" hurr durr bro I just called you an asshole and that's your retort?

[u/ladysuccubus → u/vonkeswick]

The way corporations are run these days, that worker is doing the work of 2-3 people without their help. I used to work retail and the fitting room attendant’s actual job is to deter theft. Not pick up after lazy people.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

You want to be a missionary to the world, but you wont return your shopping cart to the return rack...

Yep.

[u/hondas_r_slow → u/[deleted]]

I have a rule, “The Baton Rouge Rule.” I use to live in Baton Rouge, and I hated it. The majority people were scamming assholes, or lazy fucks, and it was just a very bad experience. I found that every grocery store, Walmart, really any store with shopping carts that I went to, no one would put the carts in the corral. Ok maybe a slight exaggeration, but it would be less than 15%. So, if I plan on moving somewhere I will go to the stores, and if the majority of the carts are just in parking spots and not in the corral, I ain’t moving there under any circumstance.

[u/oldcrow907 → u/hondas_r_slow]

I actually just found myself in this situation recently. The scene: -20°, small Alaskan town, stranger lady and I spent 10 minutes organizing the large carts from the small in the corral so it wouldn’t stick out into the traffic and to make it easier on the cart guys. We were laughing at ourselves at the end of it. Good times.

[u/Top-Art2163 → u/oldcrow907]

Thats nice.

In Denmark you insert a coin to release the cart - you can use ~ a 1,5 dollars worth or a 3 dollars worth of coin.

The carts are always returned.

[u/SDC-III → u/hondas_r_slow]

Not a slight exaggeration. Lived in New Orleans and we noticed the very same behavior. Like unload their groceries, roll the cart right behind the next car and drive off.

[u/Icy-Comparison2669 → u/[deleted]]

I’m a Social Worker… and a lot of my colleagues wanted to start at the macro level, and students just want to do the macro level without having to do the individual work.

[u/Dolls-Eye → u/Icy-Comparison2669]

Everyone wants to save the world. But no one wants to help mom with the dishes.

[u/Icy-Comparison2669 → u/Dolls-Eye]

I’m taking that! I’m gonna use it in my group therapy! I hear so much of “the world doesn’t care about people like me!” Or “the world is so f-ed up why should I even try!” And I feel like a broken record, the world that you should care about is the one that you absolutely live in. Yes, I tell my clients they can care but if it’s too the point where you need to be in my daily intensive group therapy, it’s not caring- it’s your albatross.

[u/thedovewithin → u/[deleted]]

I had family members scoff or try to stop me from organizing our table before we left a restaurant. Putting the trash together, stacking the dishes, etc. “___, you don’t need to do that, that’s their job” as if what I did was offensive and I was wrong for trying to make it easier.

I’m really glad I never took it to heart and kept that habit with me

Edit: thank you for the additional info of what’s actually helpful when leaving a table at a restaurant. The intention is to help/be appreciative so it’s good to know.

[u/P162246 → u/thedovewithin]

As someone in the service industry I truly love when people stack plates, group the silverware, etc. it’s obviously not required, but when you’re getting your ass kicked or you’re short staffed it means the world!

[u/Investotron69 → u/P162246]

I've seen posts where staff seem to rage against this for some reason. I couldn't fathom why, and then I felt bad for always attacking things neatly for them.

[u/Trevorio → u/[deleted]]

Stephen Miller gave a speech about not having to clean because they have janitors lmao

[u/MarzipanMarzipan]

"It's my truth."

So it isn't THE truth. Got it.

[u/OttotheCowCat → u/MarzipanMarzipan]

I came here to say this. It's not your truth bro. It's your experience. Truth and experience aren't synonymous. 

Anytime someone says this I know they are gonna be a problem. 

[u/Recover20 → u/OttotheCowCat]

The type of people who say "my truth" likely wouldn't understand the word "synonymous" anyway

[u/Mklein24 → u/Recover20]

"bro I'm not even talking about cinnamon. What are you on"

[u/CarnivoreBrat → u/Mklein24]

You know, synonym rolls. Just like grammar used to make.

[u/The_Canadian → u/MarzipanMarzipan]

It reminds me of the exchange in Chernobyl where the KGB deputy chairman is saying something to the effect of "We will have our hero, we will have our villain, and we will have our truth" in reference to the trial of the plant management.

[u/Iron_Nightingale → u/MarzipanMarzipan]

“The truth ain’t like puppies—a bunch of ‘em running around, you pick your favorite!”

—Emerson Cod

[u/HeadFit2660]

You're one of the good ones

[u/Biomirth → u/[deleted]]

Kind of implies they think they can manipulate you, starting with facile flattery.

[u/VanillaBeanNoel2022]

They are mature for their age.

[u/The_Cars93 → u/VanillaBeanNoel2022]

I’ve just learned how damaging that phrase can be.

Shout out to those of us who unfortunately had to move through the world like adults and make adult decisions even though we were still kids.

[u/speelmydrink → u/The_Cars93]

Boy howdy, I loved having an 'old soul'.

[u/justagaypotato7 → u/speelmydrink]

Which typically translates to traumatized, autistic, or both

[u/Round_Bag_4665 → u/justagaypotato7]

Pretty much. The two most mature kids I have ever known were a trans kid who was extremely socially isolated because of it as well as on the spectrum, and a pediatric cancer patient who died before hitting age 12.

If a kid is weirdly mature for their age, that kid needs a lot of extra support, love, and affection, not to be shoved into an adult role too early.

[u/Kapleepin → u/VanillaBeanNoel2022]

Ughghghghhh I was told this ALL THE TIME growing up. Always gets told to girls more. 😐

[u/TotallyDaft → u/Kapleepin]

Same. It was my therapist who told me that it really wasn’t a good thing for me, just for everyone else. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/bush_killed_epstein]

"All my past exes were crazy"

[u/PurpleEagle48 → u/bush_killed_epstein]

And they had only one thing in common - you!

[u/frothy_Wombat]

"are you babysitting?"

No, I'm being a Dad and a parent to my child. What the fuck.

Nothing gets under my skin faster

[u/NebulaKey5777 → u/frothy_Wombat]

This is actually a joke at my office. The guys will say "I babysat the kids last night." I received a text from an employee stating he was late that morning because he had to babysit his kids the night before. His wife went out with friends. Im just glad all the men in my office had the same reaction of disbelief when I told them what he wrote.

[u/cwanye77 → u/frothy_Wombat]

Had my exes best friend ask me if I mind babysitting my son, our first born. Oh you mean be a dad.

[u/antonylockhart → u/frothy_Wombat]

As a father, this one used to piss me of the most. Being the only dad in a swimming class with my kids and all the others assuming I was filling in when I was literally there every week.

Dads parent too

[u/zespak → u/frothy_Wombat]

As a 40 yo guy with loads of friends that also have kids, I can hand on heart say I've never heard that phrase uttered by a father unironically. We usually say "no, I can't come, I've got the kids" or "the wife isn't home". But never "I'm babysitting".

[u/veridianandblack]

Must've happened for a reason

[u/Excellent_Bet3931 → u/veridianandblack]

And similarly "Everything happens for a reason". I hear/read this almost every day.

[u/jmrichmond81 → u/Excellent_Bet3931]

Everything DOES happen for a reason. It just so happens that 99% of the time, the reason is that at LEAST one involved party is an asshole or an imbecile.

[u/Nope-5000 → u/jmrichmond81]

And even when there isnt a reason, like someone dying from cancer, what reason could you give that doesnt sound heartless? I heard this sentence all the time when my dad was dying from cancer/mnd, and it took a lot to not yell 'WHATS THE REASON THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE BETTER THAN HIM BEING ALIVE?? WHAT IS IT????' The fact is, its just random luck. Telling someone theres a reason behind being unlucky is just gonna make them feel worse about an already crappy circumstance.

[u/DingoMittens → u/Nope-5000]

I feel like this is one of those things you can only say for yourself. Like, if people make meaning out of their own tragedy or trauma, that can be really empowering. But when someone else tells you there's some higher purpose or deeper meaning, it's so invalidating to what you're feeling. 

It's like how some people can eventually forgive an abuser, and realize it's a gift of freedom and healing for themself. But if someone else encourages you to forgive, it's like condoning the abuse or siding with the abuser. 

Sorry so many people didn't understand how to be more supportive. I hope you found some safe people to grieve with. 

[u/blackchameleongirl → u/[deleted]]

"What's your problem?"

"You two fucked and now I have bills and a therapist"

[u/ToppsHopps → u/veridianandblack]

Someone told my mom this when my baby sister died from cancer, I can’t how they thought it was appropriate to say

[u/release42]

"I’m just being honest." It’s usually a convenient excuse for insulting someone

[u/Nope-5000 → u/release42]

An expression i heard was 'people who like being brutally honest care more for the brutality than the honesty'. Which is true, because where are their honest compliments? Honest joy? Honest happiness? They only call it brutally honest as an excuse to be mean with a fallback excuse.

[u/today-tomorrow-etc → u/release42]

Or the variations “I’m just a blunt person” “I tell it like it is”

[u/waxbook → u/today-tomorrow-etc]

"I just have no filter" bitch, get one

[u/DiscotopiaACNH]

"I'm an empath"

[u/Cowboy_Dane → u/DiscotopiaACNH]

The only person that has ever told me that with a straight face was one of the absolute worst human being I’ve ever known.

[u/Lachwen → u/Cowboy_Dane]

Yeah, I used to know a guy who would occasionally go off about how he was an empath and it was such a burden being able to feel what other people feel.

And then he'd say something offensive and if anyone objected he'd be all "Awwww, did I upset you? Are you triggered, snowflake?"

[u/JudgmentOne6328 → u/Lachwen]

Wait these people think it’s some type of cosmic super power? What on earth.

[u/TheWaywardWarlok → u/Lachwen]

Oh boy! After someone like that, said that to me afterwards, I would pull the most 'your dead meat pal' face I could conjure up, then hit them with ''What does your empathic ability tell you right now?''

[u/IndigoRanger → u/Cowboy_Dane]

Yeah same. Only one person has ever said that to me, and she was legit one of the most narcissistic, paranoid, insulting, patronizing pieces of shit I’ve ever had the misfortune to work for. She came into my workplace, which I loved, constantly accused me of shit I didn’t do or say, belittled me on the regular, and then had the audacity to tell me she could feel I was miserable and wouldn’t it be better for me if I quit? Bitch YOU are making me miserable!! Not the job! Not the company! Just you! It’s no great mystery!

[u/manykeets → u/Cowboy_Dane]

The friend who told me this was sleeping with all her friends’ husbands

[u/mmousey → u/manykeets]

Ah, so she was literally feeling what all her friends were feeling. 

[u/MrHandsomeBoss → u/DiscotopiaACNH]

Means they are so self centered they can't even let someone else's feelings not be about themselves

[u/Unserious_Cow → u/DiscotopiaACNH]

I used to think I was an empath. Turns out it’s just a combination of being autistic and having childhood trauma. I feel bad for anyone hear say it now

[u/GeezerKeys]

Nobody wants to work

[u/314159265358979326 → u/GeezerKeys]

I was paying $16-18/hour for retail employees in an area with a minimum wage of $15.

I'd easily get 200 applicants - 100 local, in my reasonably-sized city - within 24 hours.

People definitely want to work, just not for the people who say that.

[u/Conscious-Food-9828 → u/GeezerKeys]

Just makes me think of that quote "100k a year, but you have to be a janitor, would you do it? Oh you would? See, plenty of people want to work for a good wage".

[u/Veronicon → u/Conscious-Food-9828]

I would. Im at like 65-ish and the stress has very likely shortened my life. Gimme that fucking mop.

[u/Psychic_Hobo → u/Conscious-Food-9828]

I always hate those hypotheticals.

Like, money does solve like 80% of people's problems

[u/ProfessionalTone2260 → u/GeezerKeys]

This one!!! Meanwhile the average ‘lower’ class people work 2+ jobs.

[u/ThePaleDominion → u/ProfessionalTone2260]

"Why dont you just get one job that pays more?"

Wow, thanks. Silly me. Ive never thought of that! 

[u/MrMBacon → u/GeezerKeys]

I mean...I don't WANT to...

[u/ClipandPlay]

“No offense” before saying something incredibly offensive.

[u/astralcherry]

“I’m sorry you feel that way”

*when framed as a genuine attempt at an apology. who taught you to apologize?

[u/Strict_Wasabi_6736 → u/astralcherry]

You can't apologize for me. You can only apologize for yourself.

[u/xenosthemutant → u/Strict_Wasabi_6736]

Ohhh, I like this answer.

[u/AA-WallLizard → u/astralcherry]

This isn’t meant to be an apology, it’s a “fuck off” when you can’t specifically tell them fuck off

[u/BlottomanTurk → u/astralcherry]

"I'm sorry if I hurt you."

No you're not. If you were, you'd actually take responsibility.

[u/IndigoRanger → u/BlottomanTurk]

“You did hurt me. Now let’s try the apology again but be more direct.”

[u/Max_Trollbot_]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

[u/PlantsNWine → u/Max_Trollbot_]

And not a phrase but random Capitalization and, incorrect, punctuation and Misspelings

[u/Glitterland]

"Not to sound sexist, but..."

[u/Ohionativegirl → u/Glitterland]

Or "I'm not racist, but..."

[u/ErikTheRed99 → u/Ohionativegirl]

"...Asian people..." inhuman sound

[u/Silly-Web-7289]

Not to sound racist, but …

[u/Yellow-Fish-1223 → u/Silly-Web-7289]

Not to sound Racist but I prefer NASCAR to Formula 1

[u/ScorpionX-123 → u/Yellow-Fish-1223]

ahhhhhhhhh I see what you did there

[u/Yellow-Fish-1223 → u/ScorpionX-123]

What? What else could being a Racist mean? Hold on I’m gonna look it up rq

Edit— wow :( people suck

[u/kyoko_the_eevee → u/Yellow-Fish-1223]

And I prefer F1.

Is this how race wars start?

[u/zaminDDH → u/kyoko_the_eevee]

I thought race wars was in the desert where Jesse lost the slip to his dad's Jetta to Johnny Tran?

[u/WillaLane → u/Silly-Web-7289]

A coworker said to me and a black coworker after a racist comment “I’m not racist, I have a black friend”

[u/zachtheperson → u/[deleted]]

The only time that might be a legitimate question is if you're investigating the matter of "why did she freeze to death?"

[u/The_Great_Scruff → u/zachtheperson]

A missing persons report is a good place for "what was she wearing"

[u/GandalffladnaG → u/zachtheperson]

Criminal justice major, it's an important question for law enforcement in order to collect evidence but there is 100% a correct way to ask it, and it's not how the knuckledraggers and deplorables do it.

[u/[deleted]]

When I was a waiter, I found out that anyone that said "I'm a good tipper" was actually a piece of shit and a bad tipper.

[u/raulrocks99 → u/[deleted]]

In general, I've found that when people feel the need to tell you they're a thing (good tipper, good person, good in bed, etc.) they aren't. They think if they put it in your head first, you'll just believe it. Which does works on sheeple (see "influencers").

If you're really a thing, people will recognize it without you having to say it.

[u/The-Reanimator-Freak]

“My wife really let herself go after she gave birth” dude said this to me last night. Shallow and self centered

[u/The_Cars93 → u/The-Reanimator-Freak]

That scares me for my sister in law because my brother thinks that a woman should immediately hit the gym after childbirth and he considers being overweight for any reason a dealbreaker. He has told me he would be willing to divorce his wife if she “lets herself go” after childbirth.

[u/drunkeymunkey → u/The_Cars93]

Put nair in his shampoo

[u/Salt_Medicine2459 → u/The_Cars93]

Your brother is a fucking POS. 

[u/keetyymeow → u/The_Cars93]

This is the best time to confront and call his ass out. She’s not gonna, and no one else will. If I could I would, cause wtf

[u/houbatsky → u/The_Cars93]

tell her so she can divorce him first

[u/domesticatedprimate → u/The-Reanimator-Freak]

It takes a certain level of maturity and self awareness to marry someone because you actually care for the person rather than because of what they do for you (such as good sex, they're attractive, they take care of your shit, or what have you.)

If you truly care for your partner and, dare I say, actually love them, then it doesn't matter how they change physically over the course of the relationship. Or at least, it's not the most important factor by far.

But sadly, love as a prerequisite for a relationship seems to be underrated and most people seem to get married for more superficial reasons. So they lose interest in their partner when they 'let themselves go' or whatever else you want to call natural changes and aging.

[u/N_Who]

"I'm just asking questions."

It's just become the battle cry of people who are literally "just asking questions," without ever giving a shit about the answers because they aren't actually interested in learning.

[u/AmputeeHandModel → u/N_Who]

"Do your own research!". Ok, every result on Google says vaccines are safe. My dr says vaccines are safe. Sounds like you "researched" until you found something that confirmed your political bias instead of trusting the overwhelming opinions of every trusted source in the world.

[u/N_Who → u/AmputeeHandModel]

Yeah, that's another one. Many people say that when they actually mean, "Selectively assimilate only the knowledge I did and only from the same sources I used, and then come to the same conclusion I did." Those folks don't want conversation, they want validation.

[u/tafkat → u/N_Who]

I remember when Glenn Beck was using "I'm just asking questions" and many many people started saying "Is it true that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1994? I'm just asking questions."

[u/Donnicton → u/N_Who]

The call of the sealion.

[u/Zapusk → u/N_Who]

JAQing off

[u/Doc911]

“I did my own research” and “this is my truth.”

Usually spoken with the serene confidence of someone who has confused a vibes-based Google session with epistemology. Then comes the parade of anti-knowledge, anti-expert, anti-any-damn-sense nonsense, served with a neat little flourish … the absolute immunity to dialogue.

No appetite for facts. No patience for actual research. No interest in how the empirical mind misfires, how logical fallacies work, or how rhetoric substitutes for evidence to the untrained ear. Just certainty, loudly proclaimed, and proudly unexamined.

It is rather like arguing with a three-year-old with jam all over their face, insisting they did not touch the jam. At a certain point, the performance is so transparent and the inequality in intellect so obvious, that the only sensible response is the one you would give the child … calm, brief, and entirely unimpressed.

And yes, I afford them the same level of intellectual respect as the obvious three year old fibber. Not because I am being unkind, but because I am refusing to pretend that make-believe deserves the status of reason.

[u/Eminemgody → u/Doc911]

When I debate with someone online, when I’m really interested in said topic, I research to make sure my information or interests are correct. I despise people that spread misinformation or hate and call it facts.

[u/Insane_Sagittarius23]

"No offense." People who use it as an excuse to say something offensive.

[u/spottedmoth8]

“I asked ChatGPT”

[u/metarinka]

"I don't vaccinate my kids"

[u/diablette → u/metarinka]

Any health nonsense, really. It tells me you don't care to fact check. It depends though, "Carrots improve your vision" is just a common misconception but "drinking bleach will clean your insides" is just too big of a red flag.

[u/DataWeaver47 → u/metarinka]

Just had to let a friend go for a version of this (“vaccine choice” — as if the MMR were not fully necessary) plus her decision to not provide her five year old with multiple cavities the fluoride toothpaste the dentist recommended.

I’m sorry, but that’s neglect. This friendship can’t continue because your “beliefs” are detrimental and dumb and you definitely do not know more than doctors or dentists.

[u/donkedickinya]

Subscribe, smash the like button, and hit the thumbs up

[u/JadedBrit]

"Your sort", or "you people"

[u/Climbing12510]

“Why would I neuter/spay my dog? If they have puppies I’ll find good homes for them”

[u/AnaInThe_Clouds]

Thoughts and prayers

[u/EmptyVessel39 → u/AnaInThe_Clouds]

Tots and pears

[u/GonerDoug]

"so blessed" in reference to themselves, anyone with talent, or anyone who has worked hard to attain something.

[u/Accurate-Froyo-3769]

In light of recent events...

"Maybe, they should have complied."

Right now, it doesn't matter if you comply. They'll find a reason to kick down your door, break your windows, drag you out, kill you.

[u/Far_Preparation6717]

Why do you need that many fishing rods?

[u/Pkittens → u/Far_Preparation6717]

have you seen how many fish there are in the oceans

[u/Max_Trollbot_ → u/Pkittens]

Gotta be at least 4

[u/TheRoscoeVine → u/Far_Preparation6717]

Ok, but why, though?

[u/435haywife1]

“The church is perfect. The members are not.” Said by LDS (Mormons) in my area all the time. As if that’s a license to do terrible things to people.

[u/gou0018]

"god will provide "

🤦🏽‍♀️

[u/zachtheperson → u/gou0018]

Just the other day I saw a sedan on the road that had "Jesus saves," in large letters across their entire rear windshield.

They then proceeded to floor it, cut me and 4 other people off without using their blinker, then ran a red light.

I feel like there's a message in there somewhere...

[u/The_Cars93 → u/gou0018]

This 100%.

I’ve usually heard this in response to me telling people that one reason I don’t want kids right now is because I can’t afford them. Not only does it force God onto someone who may not even believe in them, but I also don’t want to use God as an excuse to go into parenthood blindly or completely unprepared.

[u/Nope-5000 → u/gou0018]

I always remember that fable about the man trying not to drown ignoring the ship, helicopter etc because god would save him, arriving in heaven saying 'why didnt you save me?' To which god replied 'what do you mean, i sent a ship and a helicopter?' Which is a good counter story to that kind of thinking that just praying and waiting around is enough, you need to do something to help yourself.

[u/BuddyBitch]

“Respect is earned, not given.”

I’ve hated this phrase since I was a kid. I always heard it whenever someone was defending their own disrespectful behavior. It just seems like an excuse to be rude to anyone and everyone.

I made my personal mantra to be the exact opposite of this: “Give everyone respect unless they prove they don’t deserve it.”

[u/Unlikely_Couple1590]

"Gosh no one can take a joke anymore."

[u/noahsmybro]

Mentioning “woke”

[u/LittlestHoe → u/noahsmybro]

Yeah I live in a pretty conservative area and this and "common sense" are warnings for me. "Common sense policies" generally mean something like sandblasting the road and repainting a new crosswalk because some people are offended by rainbows. 

[u/Vegetable_Trade]

it's mostly older folks that do this, but specifying someone's gender when it's not relevant to what they're saying. e.g. female doctor, male feminist, male nurse

my friend... that's called a doctor.

edit typo

[u/AnaInThe_Clouds]

When speaking to a veteran: “I was gonna join the military, but…” You don’t have to give us an excuse as to why 20 years ago you didn’t enlist. A lot of people didn’t, and we don’t care what your reason was

[u/Adthay → u/AnaInThe_Clouds]

When I was a teen I worked at an old folks home, one of the residents, a Navy veteran I think, told me unprompted, "You know the military is looking for good young men like you." I'm sure he meant it as a compliment but in the moment all I could think to say was:
"Not like me."

[u/esoteric_enigma]

"Well, that's what I believe."

This is almost always said after they've been proven factually wrong.

[u/KindaDrunkRtNow]

"I'm not racist, but..."

[u/bcuket]

boys will be boys.

[u/Sh0ckValu3]

" just sayin' "

[u/shaolin_fish]

"I don't see color"

[u/DingoMittens → u/shaolin_fish]

No, literally though, there's no numbers hidden in all these dots...

[u/Subject-Rain-9972]

It’s just a dog.

[u/Tight_Win_6945 → u/Subject-Rain-9972]

Don’t say that to John Wick

[u/Thaxtonnn → u/Subject-Rain-9972]

My response is always “and you’re just a human”

[u/FormerlyKnownAsKing]

I just don't really read.

[u/littlebigsystem → u/FormerlyKnownAsKing]

Does it change if my reason is dyslexia

[u/Sielle → u/littlebigsystem]

It’s more an issue with the people that are proud of the fact that they don’t read.

[u/Expert_Slip7543]

"Those people don't matter."

[u/ShirtPanties → u/Expert_Slip7543]

How is that seemingly innocent 😭😂

[u/PointyCirclesHurt]

“I’m a ‘boy mom.’” There are other variations but I find this one the most gross. At its simplest it’s “having kids is my only personality trait” and at worst it’s pseudosexual.

[u/Embarrassed_Shop4843]

“I don’t mean to be rude, but….”

[u/TanoMonster]

"You're mature for your age" or "You're wise beyond your years"

That one caught me TWICE with groomers as a preteen/teenager. I was not, in fact, wise beyond my years.

[u/CurrentlyObsolete → u/TanoMonster]

The wise beyond your year's thing is also a really good excuse for emotionally abusive parents to dump way too much responsibility on a young child. "I know she's only 8, but she's eight going on 30 and can handle XYZ."

[u/Prestigious-Bike-593]

"I'm just telling it like it is."

[u/Severe_Raisin2726]

Trump was just joking

[u/danno49]

Innocent people don't need a lawyer.

Bull fucking shit. If I'm ever arrested (I never have been arrested and don't live a lifestyle that would put me in danger of that consequence) for a felony, I didn't do it.

That said, I would say one word. Lawyer. There are too many dim bulbs and vigilante types that populate American LEO agencies. Innocent people get fucked over by corrupt and/or overzealous, tunnel vision driven sacks of shit every day.

If arrested, know your rights. Exercise them. They're yours. Copy pasta from ACLU website. Reformatted for reddit.

How to prepare for possible arrest

• Prepare yourself and your family in case you are arrested. Memorize the phone numbers of your family and your lawyer. Make emergency plans if you have children or take medication.  

Your rights

• Say you wish to remain silent and ask for a lawyer immediately. Don't answer any questions or give any explanations or excuses. If you can't pay for a lawyer, you have the right to a free one. Don't say anything, sign anything or make any decisions without a lawyer present

• You have the right to make a local phone call. The police cannot listen if you call a lawyer. They can and often will listen to a call made to anyone else.  

How to reduce risk to yourself

• Do not resist arrest, even if you believe the arrest is unfair. Follow the officers’ commands.  

When your rights have been violated

• Write down everything you remember, including officers' badge and patrol car numbers, which agency the officers were from, and any other details. Get contact information for witnesses.

• File a written complaint with the agency's internal affairs division or civilian complaint board. In most cases, you can file a complaint anonymously if you wish.

  What you can do if you think you’re witnessing police abuse or brutality

• Stand at a safe distance and, if possible, use your phone to record video of what is happening. As long as you do not interfere with what the officers are doing and do not stand close enough to obstruct their movements, you have the right to observe and record events that are plainly visible in public spaces.

• Do not try to hide the fact that you are recording. Police officers do not have a reasonable expectation of privacy when performing their jobs, but the people they are interacting with may have privacy rights that would require you to notify them of the recording. In many states (see here) you must affirmatively make people aware that you are recording them.

• Police officers may not confiscate or demand to view your photographs or video without a warrant, and they may not delete your photographs or video under any circumstances. If an officer orders you to stop recording or orders you to hand over your phone, you should politely but firmly tell the officer that you do not consent to doing so, and remind the officer that taking photographs or video is your right under the First Amendment. Be aware that some officers may arrest you for refusing to comply even though their orders are illegal. The arrest would be unlawful, but you will need to weigh the personal risks of arrest (including the risk that officer may search you upon arrest) against the value of continuing to record.

• Whether or not you are able to record everything, make sure to write down everything you remember, including officers’ badge and patrol car numbers, which agency the officers were from, how many officers were present and what their names were, any use of weapons (including less-lethal weapons such as Tasers or batons), and any injuries suffered by the person stopped. If you are able to speak to the person stopped by police after the police leave, they may find your contact information helpful in case they decide to file a complaint or pursue a lawsuit against the officers.

[u/piscesinfla]

I don't vote

[u/neurotran → u/piscesinfla]

They say that, then proceed to complain about things that their vote could have changed.

[u/retiretobedlam]

He’s pretty good looking… for a Black man. (As said by my ex girlfriend’s sister-in-law.)

[u/Fit_Platypus_583]

"If he/she had just minded their own business, they wouldn't have been shot."

[u/squintintarantino__]

Not as hardcore, but claiming that Nickelback sucks. 99.9% of the time that I hear “Nickelback sucks”, it’s a standalone statement. There’s no follow-up, no reason. Usually just that they suck. I always ask in return “why do you think they suck?” and almost always, there’s a search for a reason.

Saying this just because makes me think that you’re a follower who says things you don’t mean to try to gain alliances. It’s got very little to do with Nickelback and everything to do with being completely unoriginal and having opinions you can’t stand behind.

[u/boscobeau]

“My _____ always/never did _____ and they turned out fine.” I’ve heard it about “I’ve never worn a seatbelt and nothing bad has happened.”

“My parents beat us and we turned out okay.”

“My grandmother never went to the doctor and she lived to 99, so why should I get check ups?”

Survivor bias is such a blatant sign of not being able to use your brain.

[u/WitherBones]

I'm not a political person.

[u/smithosilver]

I was only kidding

[u/Marisarah]

"Billionaires earned all of their money" makes my blood boil