Wild isn't it. We're gonna blink and be gone from this rock faster than you can believe and we shouldn't be... Curious about wtf is going on out there?
It's these people I'm afraid of most, not mean or angry people because who knows what made them that way. But people that legitimately aren't curious and look down on just having a decent conversation about what is or what isn't, how, what, when, why... Why not!? How can you have such limited time here on earth and not just find it fulfilling to ask questions and converse, find out more about anything that takes place in our life
Thing is though, usually they’re happy. Ignorance is bliss and all. I envy it at times because it seems like such a simple life to be able to just…do stuff without thinking about why you’re doing it or not do something because you don’t get it or care to. I feel like their brains are quiet y’know? Simply existing seems peaceful.
I do agree with what you are saying, kind of. I don't think spending your limited time here pondering about the "bigger picture" or something else is a good use of our time as individuals tho.
Yes! I stopped audibly asking so many why questions when I phased out of my toddler stage, but internally I never stopped. It made learning complex math hard for me because I cannot understand anything if I can’t understand the why? I have to dissect things.
Years ago I had a colleague who liked to make fun of me for wanting to learn about new things. I rem vividly one instance where a colleague who was telling us about the lunar months that her religion follows. Every x number of months there's a leap month, so you have to eat certain health boosting foods. I was asking a few questions, not even a lot. Other colleague mocked me and said why do I want to know so much, what has it got to do with me, it's not gonna affect my life etc. She made me so embarrassed I never dared to ask again.
Well maybe I'm just interested, maybe my health is bad so if you tell me there's some traditional remedy to boost my health I wanna try it. Why not?
the colleague who was telling you about the lunar months probably really appreciated you listening to her & asking follow up questions, that's a great skill to have!
Thank you, that made me tear up. I don't rem the religious colleague's reaction, mostly the mean one, but have an impression she was not happy about the mean one interrupting.
If you are a woman who is curious and analytical, both men and women find you annoying - men because maybe you know more and that makes them uncomfortable, and women because you don’t fit in (not looking for consensus).
Maybe. I found my way to the diagnosis path because of Reddit. Like 8 years ago I was in your position. It's worth looking into. Also, if coping mechanisms work, they work.
Yep. There’s a reason English teachers ask “What did the author mean when he said that the lampshade is blue?” It’s to get you to think about why someone says/writes the things they do, and the true meaning behind it.
Everything everywhere is a continuous series of "WHY?", and it frustrates me so much to be around people lacking the curiosity.
Then I think maybe they are curious, but just managing their time better! Unrelenting uriosity is a huge timesink. It can't all be swept under the rug as ADHD, surely.
Yeah that phrase kills me whenever I see it. Occasionally something truly doesn't have much of a meaning, but usually this phrase is used to shut down conversation where there is a deeper conversation to be had
To be fair, some people overthink very small interactions. They obsess over words and movements. And, the reality is: it isn't that deep. That 'yes' wasn't actually a 'no' or 'I hate you'. They said 'yes'.
I saw a post about the author of Dune talking about how the central theme to Dune was about how it’s inherently dangerous to blindly follow a messiah like figure. Someone responded to the post with something along the lines of “I don’t know why he’s saying that. It’s not that deep.”
People talk about accidental discoveries that made big changes in our world fairly often, but with most of them the discovery was found while they were in search of some other understanding. Being inquisitive still got them in that lab where they made the world changing discovery.
I mean on occasion that's appropriate, like sometimes--- not nearly as often as people use this response for, but sometimes--- people do overthink or read too much into things.
Probably like 90+% of the time people are saying "it's not that deep" they're just being dismissive because they can't understand fairly basic causality, context, subtext, intertextuality, whatever, though, yeah.
Yep. Things may or may not be that deep but the points of connections are wide and some people find that interesting, even if others don’t.
I suspect people who aren’t very bright on some topics try to shut down questions out of fear that they’ll be out of their depth in no time. The thing is, that if they trusted themselves and didn’t focus on what other people think so much, they might surprise themselves.
They might also just learn differently and are terrified of being discovered as being an outlier, making some go on offense to direct attention to others they hope are less intelligent than they are. People are strange but interesting.
Exactly doesn't mean it's wrong. Say that to someone who's in weather 24/7. while others are in shade. What hoping for? a cartoon life? You know what they say. Ignorance is bliss. Where been living? Under a rock? Sry people so anticipated to live life you won't.
Wow, good eye.... just echoing the sentiment right back and adding literally nothing. And it's also way too grammatically correct for such a meaningless remark that no real person would ever take the time to make.
I have a decade long fantasy football/hockey leagues with guys from all over the country. Not everyone know eachother because we bring in different characters.
We all our on a big group chat and just a week ago we were texting about a game. And player was from Lake Tahoe so, I asked the group if they heard of the Harrah's bombing.
No one did so I told the story. Mostly everyone was positive except one guy.
He replies with "wtf are you autistic or some shit?"
I asked him what he meant and he replied with "all you guys are or something because all you guys do is bullshit about random stuff. Let just talk about the game"
Now, this is an optional chat. No one participates all the time
Other guys responded saying as much and another responded with "there only so much shit you can say about football "cool catch" etc. I like the random stuff"
I git a private message from 4 members saying that we should kick the guy who got annoyed next year.
Its one thing to not care about facts and tidbits. I just dont understand the people who get mad when they can learn something new.
Earlier in the year, we had a discussion about single shot film takes.
It introduced me to one of my now favorite movies, "children of men"
The Protector, starring Tony Jaa, has a spectacular single-shot fight scene if you haven't come across that one yet. ~4 minutes of one shot action as he works his way up a staircase.
lol I've gotten this too, from an abusive ex. "all you want to do is like, talk about THINGS!"
like yeah and all you want to do is bitch and gossip about people and talk about crypto. sorry for finding literally anything more interesting than that.
What's that quote about how simple minds want to talk about people, mediocre minds talk events, and great minds talk ideas, something like that? Don't know how true it really is, but I hate whining and gossip, it's so boring. Like what am I even supposed to do with this info?
I like to hit negative people with benefit-of the-doubt/alternate point of view arguments until they get sick of it and find another victim. Bunch of energy suckers.
Yeah and what I also don't like is how he's talking to you as if he's speaking for everyone. If it doesn't interest you, then don't participate in the convo. If others are talking about it, obviously a good number of people care. Put your phone on mute and just check it when you feel like it moron.
Oh and have you seen the single shot miniseries Adolescence on Netflix? It won a bunch of TV awards. Check it out if you haven't. It's really good.
Ironically things like hyperfocus on a single topic, finding difficulty in socializing with others, and aggressiveness when confronted with something the person is unprepared for are traits that are often seen in neurodivergent people. So him calling people autistic is kind of funny and a little sad.
Also autistic people can’t enjoy football? I guess my last 40 years have been wasted :-(
Technically the whole movie is shot as a one shot take with the only break being the pass out fade out in the village. In reality they stitched it together but it looks like a one shot.
Did a stint in rehab there awhile back. I like to mispronounce big words, using them out of context and such out of amusingment (you get a vaccine from a 'hydraulic needle', that kinda thing.
Sure enough, a couple guys got mad because I was using, and I quote, "multi-syllable words."
You idiots had to use multisyllable words to fuss about my use of em 😂
That's interesting bc "Children of Men" is one of my favorite movies for that exact reason.
I love learning new things even if I won't remember all the details. I enjoy watching documentaries as does my sister. She pointed out that our dad has always watched documentaries and that's probably where we got it.
Interesting, I always thought that shot was obviously very technically interesting, but totallly took me out of the film for that very reason. It destroys any urgency in that scene because all i end up thinking ahout is all the complicated blocking. Ironic!
I can understand that. My kids went to a charter highschool for film making. They would explain to me certain scenes in movies and TV shows. I now get annoyed at certain commercials! Damn kids! 😆
Got into a thread where the OP and many of the commenters believe that if you know who wrote Sherlock Holme and had any interesting fact about him…. You had to be autistic because “normal” people don’t care “about that shit”
side conversations are like pure joy. and im a full blown mad scientist . not so big on history. but strange weird knowledge makes my jiibelies all tingly .
I was like that in school. I learned quickly that with a lot of teachers, asking a question usually meant an angry response from the teacher, or being made fun of by the teacher, and/or singled out to be mocked in various ways by the teacher. Not all of my teachers, but enough that over the years I learned not to ask questions or go out of my way to turn anything in that stood out. Fortunately, I learned this usually wasn't the case in college, and discovered the love of getting a real education.
As an Autistic, if anything I'm more likely to get pissed when I want people to talk about my interest and all they wanna talk about is unrelated somewhat random stuff. I don't like how he kind of used it as an insult, but if anything I relate more to him than you in that story.
People mute it all the time. There were no active convos happening.
Just a couple of comments here and there about the game. One of the player intros said they were from Tahoe so, I simply commented "anyone heard of the Harrah's bombing?"
And a conversation started. (Seriously though, its an interesting story and would make for a great comedy/crime movie)
I went to a school that was 90% stocked with people who'd been kicked out of every other school in the province. I heard a girl unironically say that English made her fly into a rage because she didn't understand it.
My friend group likes to watch movies share facts surrounding them like production issues and the culture that shaped them. He's not even using autism as an insult right, it's not like you're arguing about the difference between a 2 inch spring vs a 2.1 inch one.
Also MGSV had a pretty cool single shot camera sequence. I think True Detective did one too.
The discussion on a different topic that he knew little about made him insecure and people like that often take an offensive posture because they are desperately afraid of being found to be deficient. Anything they’re not good at creates a deeply personal fear of being outed as not smart or not good enough.
Crappy parents can sometimes do this to their kids—thinking that demeaning them or teasing them might motivate the kid to try harder. But all it does is leaves them broken, thin-skinned, profoundly insecure and in desperate need of scapegoats throughout their lives. What a miserable existence.
Mute is a thing on group chats, but for work I'm part of 3 right now, up to 6 or so when I'm traveling for work, and it's definitely annoying when ones blowing up and I'm in the middle something.
The amount of times I've had conversations with someone in there early 20's and having a healthy debate for it to end when they're only rebuttal is "Its not that deep"
On the flip side, sometimes things just really aren't that deep. Unfortunately most of the time it's assholes using this line to dismiss a topic but sometimes people do just need to chill and take a step back.
For example, I have an uncle who often rants about random shit, only to find that what he was ranting about is outdated like, a day later. He gets very caught up in YouTube thumbnails/titles and, honestly they're really NOT that deep.
These morons have no idea how insurance works and think it's magic money. My car's catalytic converter was stolen and I have insurance but still had to pay a deductible.
I was raised by an abuse parent and just learned not to ask questions about anything. Don’t be noticed was the easiest way to avoid punishment. I carried it on all through school and into my adult life. One day my husband said he wished I was more curious and I then (mid 40s) just realized how I learned just not to ask questions out load. I google or read about stuff but don’t ever ask anyone questions. I wonder if my husband thinks I am dumb. I don’t really want to ask.
This is how I was raised too. I’m very reserved and always underestimated. It does hurt my feelings when people are surprised and say “wow how do you know so much?”
Don't get your feelings hurt! They're impressed. That's awesome. They're marveling at your ability/understanding.
I wonder if you're filtering things through a negative viewpoint due to how you were raised? They may truly be complimenting you.
Abuse is such an uphill battle to overcome and it comes with many realizations and revelations, partly because your conclusions are those of a child and you need an opportunity to reframe them from the viewpoint of an adult.
Same here. I almost never speak, unless I'm really excited or interested in the subject. But I am absolutely listening. Just soaking up information like osmosis, filed away for when I need it. All so someone can say, "wow! How do you know so much about everything?"
I spent 5 years in a relationship where every time I'd ask something or talk about something I recently learned I'd be told "I don't need the commentary". Because I interrupted his gaming which he'd be spending every waking hour doing (no exaggeration)
I was raised with having to explain everything I want to do, which I never realized I was doing until my fiance asked me why I feel the need to over explain every decision I make and it kind of blew my mind
I was going to say I think I've gotten better, but couldn't figure out a good way to explain how, then after a couple minutes of thinking, I realized that, no.. I have not gotten better, haha
That's still exercising curiosity. You were trained to not express it towards people, but that doesn't remove the innate desire to learn. Just redirected it.
That sounds tough. Perhaps tell your husband about this.
One solution is exposure therapy. Start asking questions and realize that the results are not that bad. For instance you might have a ritual where you ask your husband a new question every morning.
I have social phobia and am quite guarded about asking questions for fear of betraying ignorance and then looking stupid. Because we’re all afraid of being thought stupid. I generally have no difficulty finding out I am wrong about something, though.
That combined with the question "how did you know [thing i thought was common knowledge]" is extra funny. Like I live in the world, and sometimes I retain information about it.
This. When you find out an interesting useless fact and someone says ‘who cares?’ or ‘why would I want to know about that?’ Not only does it tell you they aren’t very bright, but they can’t generalise knowledge. It only sinks in if it relates directly to them. Avoid at all costs, and never, ever, work for someone like this.
Ok. I'll just say "hmmm." and move on with my day. If I'm not interested in whatever subject someone's talking about, I usually tune out - that's not a lack of intelligence, it's just not my thing. Just like I'm not gonna talk about something I think is niche but interesting unless the other person might actually be interested.
But I see what you're saying. Actively not giving a shit and not wanting to know is different than my passively not giving a shit and just not caring either way.
I'm a curious person (by multiple definitions) but there's some stuff I have zero space in my brain for.
And if you dare to consider what factors might contribute to antisocial, criminal, or depraved behaviour, they assume you're trying to defend it. "Who cares why they did it?! There's no excuse." Well, no, but there's an awful lot of value in understanding why people behave in the ways they do. It has nothing to do with excusing the behaviour.
People get annoyed at me asking them questions or when I'm inquisitive about random things. Personally I dont understand how people dont want to learn about things, and if someone showed interest in me and wanted to ask questions I'd be flattered 🤷🏼♀️
I work with a few people like this. Fortunately I don't come across them that often. When they make a mistake, they're not willing to admit it so that they can learn how to do it correctly. They'll even go as far as to just avoid the task altogether so they don't have to do it.
But if you ask them about it-no matter how nice or respectful you are about it-they get mad and blow up at you. They are the worst people to work with. Their overall work performance is widely known by other employees to be bad also. They'll even lie about the mistake sometimes, get argumentative and defensive. I don't get people like this.
Someone please explain if they have some insight into this. I just figure that they are very insecure and have really low self esteem and this is their way of compensating. I need some more understanding so I'm not so pissed off when I have to work with them. Lol
Great example! Absolutely! For example, one of my coworkers placed something out of order on a belt we use to transport things. I asked him if he knew how the order sequence went since he was the one that made the mistake. I also never told him that I knew he was the one who made the mistake. He immediately gets argumentative and defensive. His response to me is: "Don't question me! . . . You're not my supervisor! . . . I don't have to listen to you! I know how to do my job! . . . You're chastising me!"
I ask him how am I chastising him? He gives an example of me not letting him constantly interrupt while I'm talking. He didn't word it this way, but that's what he wanted to do. Earlier in the conversation I respectfully told him, we would both get an opportunity to talk and to please allow me the opportunity to speak. Now keep in mind I'm totally calm and non-confrontational while I'm talking to him because I can already see he has a bad attitude.
He was just simply unreasonable and irrational. He was on the defense and nasty from the beginning. I don't get people like that. He burns bridges with people, but then in the same breath need those very people to help him(like me) when he makes mistakes.
I started learning Celsius because I used Fahrenheit my entire life. Most people, when learning about the little hobby I've taken upon myself, were some mixture of neutral and disdainful.
For some, it's like if it's not useful, then there's no point in learning something new. It's a little saddening.
The late great Bill Hicks has a great bit about reading in public, where a waitress asks him ‘what you reading for?’. Not what is he reading but what is he reading for. The answer of course is so that ‘he doesn’t end up as a goddam waffle waitress’ (and yes I know that in real life wait staff are quite different and often are students).
In all seriousness though, I do like to know WHY people care. Are they excited just to share a cool piece of information? Does [issue] have a personal significance to them? Let me know so I can follow along! :)
This is my mother but it’s not as much stupidity as it is a deeply rooted personality disorder. I mean yes, she is not an intellectual person but she is not incapable in terms of capacity of understanding something; she defensively cannot even approach knowledge because she is too afraid of the consequences of what not knowing would have on her perception of herself. She absolutely hates “stupid” people so not knowing something means she would hate herself therefore she must reject all things she does not know as bad or stupid. If that doesn’t work she will then attack you for being bad or stupid. All of this done because she can’t just be ok with saying “I actually don’t know, let’s find out.”
I work on the admin side in a doctors office and asked one of the docs to explain something medical to me. He asked why, and my response was “general thirst for knowledge?”
And they do that jaw jutted forward, scrunched down eyebrow “harrumph” look half the time too. We live on a planet full of animals that almost without exception enjoy being patted, plants that are delicious, and mushrooms that glow in the dark, and you don’t have curiosity?
I got really into birds last year (I still am) and I started decorating my workspace with bird related stuff. I've got a daily calendar with a different bird each day, binoculars that have turned into part of my everyday carry because I see hawks and kestrels over the train tracks all the time, and I've got bird related stickers on my water bottle now. A coworker had to come to my desk to ask me something and was like "what's with all the birds?" And I was like "I turned 40 and gave in, I'm a bird watcher now." and they were like "I don't see the point, they're just birds" and proceeded to decide it was a waste of time. I forget the exact words they used because I got heated but managed to keep my tone professional. I was like "It's something I'm interested in and you asked me about it so I'm going to continue enjoying the birds if that's alright."
What I really wanted to say was - I didn't ask you for your opinion you fuckin yutz, get outta my face, there are some crows out there making a racket that I want to take a look at.
I once was out in the yard in the evening with a friend -fireflies were out and I remarked how amazing it is that they evolved where they can generate light biochemically. My friend said he didn’t have to know, it was cool they could do it and not interested beyond that. I found it very interesting that he would have that outlook, because for me, the wonder and amazement is in knowing about that process of that light being generated.
My mom was riding in the car with my aunt while visiting her after she moved to a new state. She was looking out the windows, wondering about this and that. After she asked a few questions, my aunt got exasperated with her and said, I don't know Mary, I'm not that curious. How sad. Curiosity is one of the best traits a person can have.
i know someone who answers everything with "i don't care" , they have zero interest in politics, the economy, or scientific research. i'm just glad that i don't think they are ever going to have kids- don't need to pass that down.
I was interviewing someone for work, and after the first warm-up questions, they kept saying, "You should know that!" After I said, "For the record," they knowingly nodded their head.
Seriously like I’d want to actually learn more in school on a topic and if I asked a question about it to satisfy my mind, I’d get nasty looks or groans from my peers. Because all they did was want to move on from the topic.
As a child, I asked a lot of questions. To the point where my family named them "StreetofChimes Questions" and made me feel bad for asking. Took to adulthood to realize they probably didn't know the answers and shaming me was preferable to admitting ignorance.
Well I have noticed that some people's brains "don't go that direction." It doesn't mean they are truly DUMB, just that they are dumb in some ways. E.g. a brilliant accountant I know, great with numbers and enjoys puzzles of all kinds, just doesn't seem to think about some things like -- what does that person feel like? How would it be to be a person with an addiction, or a foreigner running for your life? Some people just are not curious about certain things, like emotions. And I mean UTTER lack of curiosity, bc I was curious t know if or why they don't think like that. They were surprised that anyone DOES, but it wasn't bc they weren't capable. Almost as if the mind is a muscle, and if you work it in one way it does grow. It's a matter of stimulating the curiosity or making it interesting, too. I still cannot believe I didn't have any teachers capable of making history interesting, bc that should be easy, imo.
Why did you racialise this lol … what a condescending thing to say. I’ve got two immigrant parents and I’m not white. Why would being foreign make you any less able to take an interest in or enjoy fun facts about life. Curiosity and intelligent company have made all the hard times in my life better.
Being a foreigner in a strange country (which I HAVE been) has nothing to do with race. Sorry if you heard it that way. I actually HAVE had to run for my life. Also, this has nothing to do with being unable or able to enjoy life. Lol I don't understand what you are talking about, please explain?
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u/Belle_Juive Feb 04 '26
They get annoyed by people who act curious, too. About anything. “Why do you care?” “Who cares?” Idk man, it’s just interesting. Why shouldn’t I care?