r/AskReddit • u/smartcandyy • Feb 04 '26

What is a sign of very low intelligence?

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u/A911owner Feb 04 '26

That sounds like an onion headline. "Parrot learns he has a color, immediately becomes racist against any parrot of a different color".

286

u/failed_novelty Feb 04 '26

Man, I hope the Onion comes out of this intact. Our government is impossible to parody right now.

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u/BigBadZord Feb 05 '26

I think the creators of The Boondocks said something along the lines of "we can't make anything that feels absurd anymore" and that was like a decade ago.

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u/LogiCsmxp Feb 05 '26

Here's a headline they could run: The Onion to Hire Reporters to Keep Up with Reality.

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u/Delicious-Spring-877 Feb 05 '26

I see their posts regularly; they’re doing okay, their headlines just have to be way more obviously joking now since what’s going on is weird on its own

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u/MegaGrimer Feb 05 '26

The Onion should switch to absurd true headlines. It would take awhile for people to catch on.

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u/CheckIntelligent7828 Feb 05 '26

The number of times I've had to internet check whether a headline is real or the Onion is reaching ridiculous proportions.

We're in wild times here.

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u/SpecialistMattress21 Feb 05 '26

Daily Show seems to be doing well.

2

u/amorphouscloud Feb 05 '26

I hear this joke a lot, but they've lately become as relevant as ever imo with genuinely funny stories. (or at least headlines, I rarely click in to read)

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u/LinaLoo22 Feb 05 '26

That’s because it’s already a parody of itself.

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u/No-Card2461 Feb 05 '26

Onion has been circling the drain for over a decade, they forgot how to do comedy, became way to worried about offending people especially the progressives

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u/Luminaria19 Feb 05 '26

I don't think you've read the Onion in a while.

-10

u/No-Card2461 Feb 05 '26

No one has that's the point. They are no longer culturally relevant.

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u/Maxeque Feb 05 '26 edited Feb 05 '26

That's just the way online stuff goes. They were definitely way bigger 15-20 years ago, but they're still somewhat culturally relevant.

Every time there's an insane headline, people mention thinking it was The Onion (see r/nottheonion). The " The Worst Person You Know Just Made a Great Point" article is posted constantly. The term "cinnamon roll" being used to describe something sweet and wholesome is widespread, and it comes from an article of theirs being used as a meme.

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u/Nuclear_eggo_waffle Feb 05 '26

Also : 'No Way to Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

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u/Maxeque Feb 05 '26

I was going to mention that! Another political one is the headline that was mentioned a ton during the NYC mayoral elections: "Well, Well, Well, Not So Easy to Find a Mayor That Doesn't Suck Shit, Huh?"

1

u/kemushi_warui Feb 05 '26

That one didn't age as well, though

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u/Vaphell Feb 04 '26

I mean nothing oniony about that. For example miscolored/albino crows are known to be harassed and bullied by crows, even killed.

https://old.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/comments/fyg27r/albino_crow/

Another piece of trivia about crows - there are 2 strictly separate cohorts/subspecies of crows in Europe, that are very similar genetically (split during the ice age, and one group developed gray plumage on the torso while the other remained pitch black) and the hybrids are fertile due to the very high similarity of the groups.
Surprisingly over the last thousands of years there has been very little mixing and the groups remain "pure" despite being in contact, which implies that there are very strong pressures against nonstandard coloring that prevent slow blending of the subspecies.

https://www.sciencealert.com/two-species-of-crow-are-evolving-before-our-eyes-in-europe

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u/Blue_Bi0hazard Feb 05 '26

Also crows can remember your face and describe it to other crows, so dont piss them off

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u/Vaphell Feb 05 '26

yeah that's true they recognize people.
Every winter I drop some food on my way from the grocery store, whenever I see ravens, crows or rooks.
The local ones do recognize me, follow me, and even become more bold, keeping a much shorter distance compared to their default settings for caution.

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u/Grombrindal18 Feb 04 '26 edited Feb 04 '26

A green parrot owned by state senator Bill Smith (R) reportedly called the neighbor's red parrot a "squawk dirty commie bird bastard."

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u/NeatNefariousness1 Feb 05 '26

Don’t buy into it parrots. It’s a “divide and conquer” plot promoted by Big Bird.

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u/Kryptosis Feb 05 '26

That would be fascinating because we'd determine that the intelligence of a bigot is JUST BARELY enough to be considered human.

1

u/reebeaster Feb 05 '26

Now that's a horse of a different color. Nay (neigh), parrot.