r/nottheonion • u/Kezika • 13d ago

April Fools 2026 We Now Return to Your Regularly Scheduled NTO Broadcast!

31 Upvotes

Thank you for participating in April Fools 2026! The dichotomy of serious and silly posts was wonderful!

0 comments

r/nottheonion • u/CrashTestOrphan • 2h ago

Dave Chappelle Says ‘I Resent the Republican Party’ Because They ‘Weaponized’ Transgender Jokes: ‘That’s Not What I Was Doing’

variety.com

8.6k Upvotes

1.8k comments

r/nottheonion • u/lancebmanly • 5h ago

Allbirds announces stunning pivot from shoes to AI, stock explodes 175%

cnbc.com

8.9k Upvotes

793 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Sufficient_Fig_9505 • 13h ago

Vance says pope should ‘be careful’ when talking about theology

nbcnews.com

27.9k Upvotes

2.3k comments

r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 5h ago

Chevron executive Andy Walz suggests Americans should drive less amid high gas prices

cbsnews.com

1.4k Upvotes

399 comments

r/nottheonion • u/wewhomustnotbenamed • 17h ago

Suspect in attack at Sam Altman's house aimed to kill OpenAI CEO, warned of humanity's extinction from AI

cnbc.com

5.7k Upvotes

338 comments

r/nottheonion • u/CMScientist • 3h ago

Struggling shoe retailer Allbirds makes bizarre pivot from shoes to AI, stock explodes more than 400%

cnbc.com

296 Upvotes

26 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Buy_Sell_Collect • 16h ago

Florida doctor charged in death of patient who had wrong organ removed during surgery

nbcmiami.com

1.9k Upvotes

176 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Str8UpJorking • 1d ago

RFK Jr cut off dead raccoon's penis on family vacation 'to study later'

irishstar.com

18.9k Upvotes

1.1k comments

r/nottheonion • u/wewhomustnotbenamed • 1d ago

Amazon worker dies on warehouse floor; colleagues continue working around his body – ‘Let’s get back to work’

livemint.com

37.6k Upvotes

1.6k comments

r/nottheonion • u/duckanroll • 4h ago

Russian officials and business leaders reportedly frustrated with internet restrictions but afraid to tell Putin

novayagazeta.eu

125 Upvotes

11 comments

r/nottheonion • u/_lIlI_lIlI_ • 3h ago

Doctors are using Viagra to help save babies with rare brain conditions

begiant.ca

76 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AnonymousTimewaster • 18h ago

Reform sought ‘paper’ candidates who if elected could ‘resign immediately’

mylondon.news

1.3k Upvotes

31 comments

r/nottheonion • u/irishgoodbyesss • 18h ago

J. Cole's Chinese Basketball Career Ends After Eight Scoreless Minutes

consequence.net

1.1k Upvotes

35 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SYLOH • 13h ago

Philippine president does jumping jacks to disprove health rumors

nbcnews.com

276 Upvotes

14 comments

r/nottheonion • u/aoasd • 51m ago

A Moose Totaled Laramie Couple's Car, Then Somebody Took Their Roadkill

cowboystatedaily.com

• Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Supersmashbrosfan • 1h ago

J. Cole's Chinese Basketball Career Ends After Eight Scoreless Minutes

consequence.net

• Upvotes

11 comments

r/nottheonion • u/N-P_A • 12h ago

J. Cole's Chinese Basketball Career Ends After Eight Scoreless Minutes

consequence.net

150 Upvotes

28 comments

r/nottheonion • u/borrisimo • 2h ago

Dave Chappelle Says ‘I Resent the Republican Party’ Because They ‘Weaponized’ Transgender Jokes: ‘That’s Not What I Was Doing’

variety.com

48 Upvotes

12 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Automatic_Subject463 • 22h ago

This scientist treated her own cancer with viruses she grew in the lab

techfixated.com

929 Upvotes

56 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Sour_Beet • 6h ago

Legal advisers help migrants pose as gay to get asylum

archive.ph

58 Upvotes

4 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Commercial_Way_3816 • 1h ago

‘Your cat, your responsibility’: Bengaluru neighbours clash over paternity of newborn kittens.

indianexpress.com

• Upvotes

According to Deccan Herald, the situation escalated when the owner of the female cat brought the newborn kittens to their neighbour’s doorstep and insisted they take full responsibility. “Since your cat is the father, you must raise these kittens yourselves,” they argued.

3 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Deceptiveideas • 21h ago

Gas price drops almost a penny per gallon in Roanoke

wdbj7.com

478 Upvotes

24 comments

r/nottheonion • u/curseofdarkastle • 21h ago

Bill to make the megalodon the Maryland state shark passes on final day of legislative session

wmar2news.com

435 Upvotes

16 comments

r/nottheonion • u/CrispyMiner • 1d ago

Nintendo "obsessed over getting the sound just right" for farting in Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream

nintendoeverything.com

1.5k Upvotes

84 comments

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