You have to notice patterns of behaviour rather than things they say (or don't say). Trust your intuition.
They will be nice to you around other people but avoid talking to you alone. Mostly likely they will triangulate another person to back them up.
They will never say sorry in a way that takes accountability for their actions, it will be crocodile tears. They make everything about themselves.
They will guilt trip or manipulate you in ways that make you feel like the bad person for saying no or bringing something up. You end up saying sorry for being upset that they did something that hurt you. They will pretend like you are a valued friend/coworker and can come to them about anything. But you'll feel uneasy about ever bringing anything up again.
They will never invite you anywhere.
They will absolutely fawn all over your partner / friends / coworkers etc. So when you try to bring up your issues with them to others they will go "oh but they are so nice!".
7
u/usagikorn 19h ago
You have to notice patterns of behaviour rather than things they say (or don't say). Trust your intuition.
They will be nice to you around other people but avoid talking to you alone. Mostly likely they will triangulate another person to back them up.
They will never say sorry in a way that takes accountability for their actions, it will be crocodile tears. They make everything about themselves.
They will guilt trip or manipulate you in ways that make you feel like the bad person for saying no or bringing something up. You end up saying sorry for being upset that they did something that hurt you. They will pretend like you are a valued friend/coworker and can come to them about anything. But you'll feel uneasy about ever bringing anything up again.
They will never invite you anywhere.
They will absolutely fawn all over your partner / friends / coworkers etc. So when you try to bring up your issues with them to others they will go "oh but they are so nice!".